Jibbly boobersnatch! This is not the game I wanted to see and the Rams is the team no one wants to watch. But here’s the NFL’s response-the Rams get this Thursday nighter, next week they get a Monday night tilt, the week after that they play one of three games on Xmas day and the last game of the year they play Sunday night. Yes, that team that has lost six straight and is the worst defending champ ever gets nothing but featured/standalone contests the rest of the way. Do Better NFL!
Flotsam and Jetsam:
-Hurrah for Davis Mills! He won his job back as starting qb of the Texans. And even more bad news? He is likely without both Brandin Cooks and Nico Collins-his #1 wr is Dorsett and that’s just wrong.
-The Hits Keep Coming: The Hurricane of Shit continues to swirl around Lil Danny Snyder now that the House has announced (to no one’s surprise) that the wee fella contributed to and engaged in the toxic work environment that no doubt continues to exist at the Commies workplace. Shouldn’t wifey be getting a divorce lawyer lined up by now or is she one of those Stockholm Syndrome types?
-Desmond Ridder Time: Marcus Mariotta, in his prime at 29 has thrown 3(!) games of over 200 yards. Other games he’s gone for 129 yards, (twice) 124, 131 and 134. His completion percentages have featured a 36% game as well as a 52 and 54. This is the time of the year when shitty teams play the “Let’s See What We’ve Got” game because they sure aren’t playing footed ball.
To The Game!
Raiders/Rams:
-A Little Excitement?: McDaniels has called a flea-flicker play in each of the last two games-they both went for TD’s so expect to see another.
-Do you believe that “Baker Mayfield might play” baloney? (or bologna, as they say in Italy) How could he have possibly picked up all the in’s and out’s of the O, the protection schemes, the timing with the wr’s, etc.? Pure silliness. If he does play a quarter or so you know the Rams tanktastic season is underway.
-I mean, they’re well on their way already with six straight losses and they don’t need help from Mayfield-they’re already got Perkins and Wolford for that.
-Meanwhile, on the Other Side: Thanks to some awesome running on the part of Jacobs the Raiders have cobbled together a few wins and stand at 5-7. (I remember saying at the start of the season they would run him into the ground because they didn’t pick up his option. And that prediction totally nullifies my dreadful 3-10 record in Freezer Vodka, so there) But they’re not making the playoffs. I’m not telling the truth mathematically but I am being realistic.
-Davante Adams is on a tear-over the last five games he has 7 TD’s, 41 grabs and 664 yardos.
Put your thoughts down for posterity’s sake.
Wow. That’s RTD’S Raiders
Rammitt!!!
ALL RESPECT TO MY 2023 QB BAKER FUCKING MAYFIELD
Baker Fucking Mayfield — who would have thought?
Wolford hanging on to a ball with his helmet on but on the bench feels like Charlie Brown and his football
I hate being a fan of this team so fucking much.
Saw a faded sign
by the side of the road
that said “Eighteen miles to the…”
Is that like the Jerk Hut Express near where I used to work?
“Can I get directions to that?”
D. Watson, Cleveland OH.
Bingo night with my brothers. The Jerk Shack is two doors down from the bar.
But they’re out of you
Jeez, Adult Sex Stores are going straight to the point with their names.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SOryJvTAGs
That’s a front for Bob Kraft’s other business.
So I get that team’s don’t have time to prepare for Thursday games and so the football is less than ideal. And I get that Rams are missing anyone that I would recognise in the skill positions same with the Raiders for the most part too. But, I am trying to be positive, for once, and be happy that there’s a game on as in 6 months from now we’d all kill for a chance to watch a game live
Thats My Raiders! putting up 11 points as a fill in defense. I’ll take it!
Did not know you’re allowed to touch the punter if you hit him up high.
Are we talking Burfict-like Roughing or Watson-like Bad Touch?
Good job, Raiders.
The Comeback on Twitter: “Could this be a good day for the Raiders their fans? https://t.co/NAGcix95dU” / Twitter
Sup. Still not watching this game.
Cool. I’m still not dragging my penis over all the ornaments on the Xmas tree.
Neat. I’m still not eating bread or sugar.
how many have you killed so far?
Surprisingly none. The only difference in the diet is my burgers have no buns or ketchup, my Chipotle order is now a bowl with no corn, my subs are now lettuce wraps or bowls, my Skyline order now comes in a bowl and my pizza order now comes in a bowl with just the toppings and sauce.
I am personally keeping all the Frisch’s Big Boys, Jimmy Johns and Jersey Mikes in operation near my places of work and residence.
Hell, I can even down a pint of keto ice cream and except for being a bit chalky its not that bad.
Only downside is I’m drinking twice as much water and taking 9 pills as supplements and all keto stuff is marked up pricewise. Also, not eating sugar means I sometimes have to deal with low glucose values but I can only fix with protein and not sugar.
But I am just north of the 190-mark (20+ pounds down) and that’s without any exercise at all. If I average 1-2 pounds a week, I’ll be off this diet and eating like a normal person by Summer at the earliest and this time next year at the latest.
That’s some good work there. Keep working it
The Clapper named a finalist for the Stanford job.
“Ah Stanford, the Princeton of the West!”
This leaked when he was touring local supper clubs.
Nothing like first half “highlights” that consist of three field goals and two turnovers.
And thanks to Josh McDaniels’ brilliant clock management (you just wouldn’t understand) the Rams now have plenty of time to take a few shots downfield, if they want to.
They could roam if they want to?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNwC0sp-uA4&ab_channel=RHINO
AVATAR: Blue Teenagers Fucking!
So older Smurfs fucking
Hmm…
Given the male/female ratio of smurfs, I think you just got Buddy Cole’s interest.
Prime Video can has BLACK SHOWS now, edgy!!1111
My favorite is “Twice As Hard”. You just can’t top that intro music-great riff.
Narrator: This was a joke that referenced The Black Crowes. It didn’t work at all.
Akers just aked that one up, like a furball.
Bill and Opus ’84 – A Desperate Choice for Desperate Times
Apropos of nothing-I enjoy being stupid and wrong.*
*it’s about the Baker Mayfield prediction
How bad is Wolford if Baker is starting after being there for 2 days?
The fact that he went 3 and out against this Raiders defense should tell you all you need to know.
I don’t understand this at all-they’re putting Mayfield in a position to fail when they have no shot at the playoffs. What is the logic?
I think they only claimed him to restrict SF’s options. And at such a low price, why not roll the dice and see if he can pull off some miracles and raise his trade value?
I read that they might get some badly needed draft choices out of him. All players are pawns but this scenario belongs to the
worstusual timeline.ah, the old “Invisible RB” play, always gets em
The “Walter Payton Man of the Year” award should include the criteria, ‘has never scored a touchdown in a Super Bowl’.
So you’re saying I’ve got a chance!
McDaniels: “These dumb suckers won’t fall for another end-around, ya think?”
Rams DC: [finger is up his nose] “What just happened?”
At work, so watching the stats online. Mayfield doesn’t seem to be doing terrible?
I mean, Charmslinger looked ok against the Vegas D. Until nut-cutting time, of course.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eAEiI_x71Ko
The Big Gay Kicker has been the only bright spot in this horrendous season.
He’s super thanks for asking!
We have a Baker, Baker the Turnover Maker siting on the field! THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Goddamnit, even the Spanish annoucers fuck up and call him “David Carr”.
Show Mark Davis’ “girlfriend”
MY TONIGHT GIRLFRIEND IS ACTUALLY ICE CUBE!
oh man, how the mighty have fallen
“Today? It was not a good day.”
-Ice Cube, washing his mouth out with Listerine
I was sitting here feeling a little miffed that Rick and Morty sold out, and then it occurred to me that I’m actually wearing a Rick and Morty camiseta.
are they on HBO now? MOAR swears??
You know what I love? Smoking legal, taxed, and well-regulated marijuana in the privacy of my own home. And yinz, of course!
We won’t tell the others.
I am enthused about the prospect of our one millionth comment engendering a new era of Raider football.
After reading about Lil Danny Shitbag and Roger’s coverup of his wanton fuckery it became even more apparent that Roger Goodell:
-Covers up the lawbreaking and unethical behavior of his billionaire masters
-Does anything and everything so they can increase their ridiculously large fortunes
-Screws over the people that actually do the work in order to better serve his masters and their rapacious greed.
-Distracts and deflects from their morally bankrupt dealings and statements
-Has sacrificed his soul to eat the scraps of money, prestige and power that they deign to brush off of their table.
So in summation, Rog is the personification of the republiCON party. No wonder I hate his black guts so much.
/Rant over
Millionaires aspire to be billionaires so if they’re in the position to protect them, they will choose to do so every damn time. Also, it’s his job.
I’m watching the español broadcast. The ads are all in inglés, however.
Are there actual, sentient beings on earth that find Kevin Hart funny? And if so, can we please round them up and set them on fire?
But without them, how would the lottery stay in business?
I found him very funny in his appearance in The 40 Year-Old Virgin. That’s been it for me, though.
I guess “And the mobbed-up horse he rode in on” should be bannered although it’s the worst banner ever.
Florida has collected two Staal brothers
/That’s good!
But it’s Mark and Eric
//…that’s bad.
ONE MILLION COMMENTS!
That’s one Hell of an accomplishment.
Congrats everyone!
Who is the lucky winner of the now very-used fleshlight?
The winner was the very first one that used it. There are no other winners.
Pretty sure that’s a language, not a cookie, smh…
Either King Hippo or The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem have the 1 millionth comment on DFO. It came at the 6:42 pm mark.
Well done, everyone!
And, upon further ANALysis, it’s actually The Right Rev!
It was:
“And the mobbed-up horse he rode in on”
Appropriate.
I mean, there is no fucking way a Donks and Everton supporter should win anything this year!
/me at the doctor’s office today (follow up from my 10 day-long hospital ‘adventure’ in late September)
Doc: “Does your family have a history of cancer?”
Me: [looks at watch] “How much time do we have?”*
*what I actually said was, “I’m not sure where to start”.
Have you heard the Good News of Blergh?
You mean BLEERGH, apostate
Joe Thomas is at least 2.5 Charissa Thompsons. Perhaps 2.7+
Seeing them in the same screenshot, it’s hard to believe they’s the same species.
You’re calling this guy a hack?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vc7152gQK-U
And the mobbed-up horse he rode in on
John Elway’s not mobbed up!
Frank Sinatra was a hack
co-fucking-signed
/disappointed with the WIllson Contraras signing though
Frank Wycheck performed a forward lateral
A sandwich is two parallel slices of bread with a non-bread filling between.
An open-faced sandwich is not a sandwich, any more than “fool’s gold” is gold
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1qju6V1jLM
The nice thing about 3-9 (coming off an Owl trophy) is the OKC Bomber can be as batshit cray-cray as he wants.
Belichick blows goats. I have proof.
Can I root against both these teams? Yes I can, other BFC, and I can do it without even watching this match.
As much as I like to dump on The Shield™, this is not the NFL’s fault. It’s entirely the fault of the Rams for being the worst* defending Super Bowl champion in NFL history.
*claim not researched
Again, I just can’t goddamned WAIT for RRRRRRRRAM IT!! v. Donks on Xmas Day
My larger point is that no team should get 4 straight “prime time” games.