Bears at the Bye: 2022 Boogaloo

Honestly, I thought about having the whole post be the banner image/gif.  Then I thought about bringing back my other kind of bear gimmick (not that one).  Then I took a nap.  Then I decided I would just say the following:

We knew this team would suck.  In the season preview, I predicted a floor of 4-13 and a ceiling of 8-9. Here they stand at the bye week, 3-10, firmly ensconced in last place in the division, and not a whole lot of relief the rest of the way out, closing against the Iggles, Bills, Lions, and Vikes.  Also, having a bye week 14 sucks almost as their offensive line.  Oh and a 6 game losing streak in process.  Don’t worry, though, I’m sure that can be fixed through a first year coach forcing everyone to spend the whole bye week in the film room.  That banner image is getting more and more appropriate…

Maybe all the Bears are already hibernating?

Looks like this bear is awake! Spotted this morning in Bartlett Cove, a dusting of snow overnight made these tracks noticeable. Even in winter, stay bear aware when traveling through bear country. https://t.co/Tqh5VWYSsZ pic.twitter.com/LAQpwJPupT

— Glacier Bay NP (@GlacierBayNPS) November 26, 2022

:sigh: If it weren’t for the word count minimum, this post would be over. What else can we say about this team that you haven’t thought about your most recent painful bowel movement?

Justin Fields has been electric on the ground, and the coaching staff hasn’t really given him much of a chance to show what else he can do.  And in the meantime, most of us are worried they’re going to get him killed out there.  The coaching staff plans to “tinker” with the running game to take pressure off of him.  I remain dubious, and if they’re going to slackoff for whatever jackoff will be there at the 2nd or 3rd pick next year, maybe don’t get the QB killed ad interim.

I’m too lazy to find an update source / this team isn’t worth me doing more than quick googling, so entering LAST week, the Bears ranked:

• 19th in points per game
• 32nd in passing yards per game
• 1st in rushing yards per game (someone fact check that)
• 24th in total offensive yards per game
• 7th in 3rd down conversions (that also feels wrong)
• 13th in red zone scoring
• 31st in sacks allowed
• 20th in turnovers
• 27th in points allowed
• 12th in passing yards allowed
• 27th in rushing yards allowed
• 20th in total yards allowed
• 31st in 3rd down conversions against
• 27th in red zone defense
• 32nd in sacks
• 10th in forced turnovers

You know what that isn’t?  A winning team.

Not a whole lot else to say, so….bring back trampoline bear?

Better luck next year to Bears everywhere.