Your friendly Northern Ontario neighborhood hobo enthusiast is not able to take care of tonight’s Open Thread as he has some pressing business to attend to.
Trust me, I don’t ask questions I don’t want to know the answer to. That’s a good life lesson right there.
Seriously, there are some things you don’t wanna know or think about. If you doubt me, Google “Lemon party”.
I am talking about this because there is a strict 200 word count that all writers need to adhere to and I’ll be damned if I’m labeled a slacker.
The other reason is because tonight’s game features the New England Patriots visiting the Arizona Cardinals and I have no idea how to make it interesting or appealing. If you have Patriots or Cardinals on your Fantasy Football team, your season is over this week. I cannot think of anything that would make me want to watch that game.
Wait! Is there a Manningcast tonight?
/ checks listings.
OH THANK GOD THERE IS!!
The guests are not listed on the ESPN website but at this point, it doesn’t matter.
I just need Eli to be his goofy lovable self and continue to shit on Peyton every chance he gets. That warms my soul and keeps me happy.
In closing, I want to say 3 things:
- Perineal massage is wonderful for both men and women. It is commonly used to prevent tearing during childbirth and it helps blood flow to the genitals.
- Always use water-based lube with your sex toys unless they specifically state that they can handle silicone-based or oil. You do NOT want those surfaces to wear down and deteriorate.
- When introducing a third party into your sex play, make sure you go over any parameters or limitations ahead of time so everyone is on the same page. The time to establish boundaries is not when you’re balls-deep in someone.
This song is dedicated to Horatio:
Have at it!
Rambo from Mesa just called in to Cardinals Talk. Is saying the team needs to lose out to get a high pick and — then host cuts him off.
“See? That’s fan talk. No one in the Cardinals front office or locker room is thinking about losing. There’s not one team in the NFL who is talking about losing at this point in their season. Fans talk like that. No team or locker room or front office would ever talk like that. Fans talk like that.”
I may need to call in and note the MIAMI DOLPHINS.
Matthew from Surprise was two callers later. He calmly says he supports losing out because we want a championship here and this is the best way to get there.
The hosts no shit “…I…I think we lost you there Matthew. Alright well continue taking your calls after these messages….”
It’s fucking state tv radio
Cardinals Talk reporting that Murray’s injury may be the ACL.
They’re taking aQB in the first.
What the need is an O line. Which means they will draft a punter.
Slow Developing ‘Tweener’!!!!
After trading up in the draft to Seattle.
And NOT getting Sean Peyton.
Had I played John Conner I’d have won my fantasy game by 2.5 points and gotten a bye in the playoffs.
“Come with me if you want to win.”
“No thanks!” – me, apparently
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXx9S2nDouY&ab_channel=convarHUN
I don’t know if there ever has been a better song-movie pairing.
You guys are talking fantasy playoffs and I’m like that dumb kid from the “we’re the millers meme”
…. you guys are getting playoffs
That last line was supposed to be a question
YOU COULD BE MI–EE-EE-IY-YE-YINE
In the shittiest FF week I’ve had in a long time, I would lose to a 28 point defense on Monday night
Oh is it your birthday coming up this week?
It is not. You definitely win the shit week award
Colt MCoy gained some job security. Should be interesting to see what they do in the draft.
I did not consent to shirtless divorcees on my tv
Tom Brady is there?
Yeah, they split screened him and Adam V on the manning cast
Would have no quarrel with Vinatieri in the HOF.
Also, the HOF should treat Brady like Sosa, just because it would make me happy.
The National Strawberry Council should put down a whole bunch of bribes to keep him out unless he finally bends the knee.
Vinatieri is a lock for the hall.
I hope Giselle somehow influences the voters
Oh, she can be very…persuasive.
Tonight, the role of Ray Liotta’s bloated, undead corpse will be played by Adam Vinatieri.
Ugh, I can’t unsee that!
This Colt McCoy game they’re showing on ESPN Classic right now is pretty pedestrian, why’d they pick it?
https://twitter.com/Super70sSports/status/1602498766833324032?cxt=HHwWgMDQ4eqInL0sAAAA
Do not disparage this fine-ass ’70s hookup anthem.
I’m partial to “I’d Really Love to See You Tonight.”
It’s a classic in the genre of 70s “I just wanna hook up, don’t get any ideas” songs:
I’m not talking bout moving in
and I don’t want to change your life
But there’s a warm wind blowing the stars around
And I’d really love to see you tonight
Jesus. No wonder we all took/take drugs.
My shih tzu just sneezed on me.
Is this good luck in Tibetan cultures?
Better get a lottery ticket just in case
My shih tzu likes to eat and wipe her face on either the carpet or my pajamas. She’s a real jerk.
I love that bitch.
Oscar’s looking good!