Your Measly Two Game Offering Open Thread

What the hell?! At the very least there’s playoff implications aplenty but the NFL needs to do better. Or start to care. What? You’re telling me they don’t have to? And no amount of cajoling will change that? I see.

To The Games!

Commies/Niners:

-Washington is hanging on to dear life to that final precious playoff spot and it ends here methinks.

-Purdy Mouth has done very well-Baby Shanahan has a way with game-managing qb’s, doesn’t he? It’s funny to me that Purdy, the last guy picked in the draft has essentially signed Jimmy G’s death warrant.

-But really, all Purdy had to do was limit his mistakes as much as possible, get the O to the 20 point mark and let the defense take care of the rest.

-I just wonder how they’re going to mess up in the playoffs.

-With Deebo out, expect a heavy dose of CMC today. The first game that Samuel missed McCaffrey scored 3 different ways.

Eagles/Cowboys:

-Due to Dallas’ upset loss last week the only way they can catch Philly is for them to lose their remaining games and for the Boys to win out. That’s not happening because Philly has the Saints next week.

-Qb-wise there’s plenty of talk around Minshew but the Dak has had 7 interceptions over the last four games-the worst stretch of his career.

-During the first 6 games this year the Dallas D was fearsome indeed, only allowing 14.8 points per game. That’s changed since then as they’re up to 22.7, more than a touchdown more.

-As for Philly and pressure, they’re number one in the league with a gaudy 10.7% sack rate.

 

Have at it, brothers and sisters.

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litre_cola

Jesus Fuck.

Brocky

Jesus Christ Jerry really does have a deal with the devil

Horatio Cornblower

Step it up, Mephistopheles.

Doktor Zymm

This game is just silly

litre_cola

This sucks. Still down with Minshew mania though

Horatio Cornblower

I’m certainly hoping to see more of him than Hurts.

Horatio Cornblower

I’ll say this for Dallas: they aren’t very good, but they are playing an entertaining game.

Doktor Zymm

Oh wow, went to check in for my flight tomorrow and they are asking for bids for people to bump till the 27th! I wouldn’t mind, except I’m flying to Madrid on the 27th and I would like to have the day at home, plus I would have to reschedule my airport pickup.

BugEyedBoo

Digital craps, roulette, and blackjack tables; how could that go wrong?

Horatio Cornblower

The way these defenses are playing I suspect Lurie and Jones have an agreement on the Over.

litre_cola

Ayo, have yer gin. message me.

Mr. Ayo

Done!

Petronel

Prince Harry warming up for the Commandos

Senor Weaselo

That should not count as contact, he slid and grazed the receiver’s foot.

Brocky

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

Just let Dak cook!

But not too long, because ham is very easy to dry out.

Mr. Ayo
litre_cola

Have we agreed 3 games is Redzone best?

Horatio Cornblower

I think the main problem with the Dallas D, (which hasn’t been good, as Scotchy points out), is that they’ve become terrible as tackling, especially in the running game.

Brocky

comment image

Recovery Whiskey

Boebert’s old place is now a Mexican restaurant

https://mobile.twitter.com/NooooNazis/status/1606362280987328516

Petronel

KITTLE’D (II: Electric Boogaloo)

Doktor Zymm

Next time the Jaguras get new unis I hope they go with jeggings

Doktor Zymm

Back from dinner! It was yummy!

Recovery Whiskey

Counterpoint: Franco Harris defended Paterno and Sandusky

King Hippo

My fantasy squadoo isn’t gonna break 75. I feel so Brocky.

The Maestro

Neither did Franco Harris.

Brocky

….can we have a combo for banner?

Brocky

I yell at something at the TV

The shih tzu barks at me.

I threatened to wrinkle so cellophane cuz I know he hates the noise

Dog runs away

Yeah you better run

Mr. Ayo

Brocky’s an alpha dog!

Gumbygirl

Are you having a no good rotten horrible day?

facebook_1671586168664_7011140553574441822_99211879497725.jpg
Brocky

If only I lived somewhere other than indiana.

Spur

That’s like living in a modern US Gulag

Doktor Zymm

For Xmas we should get you a better state to live in

Petronel
Horatio Cornblower
litre_cola

You are my favoUrite any I don’t care who knows.

Gumbygirl

.

my_sally_brown_with_pink_and_magenta_hearts_by_katiefan2002_de5p7t5-pre.jpg
Petronel

Man, vintage Springsteen lyrics are awesome but confusing

Gumbygirl

You can sing that to the tune of Thunder Road!

The Maestro

Figures that a bunch of Commies always end up performing well in California.

King Hippo

THANKS, Obama!!!!1111

Gumbygirl

The Heinie King has scored. Booooo!

King Hippo

GUH. Y’all can’t let the Commies win. Zombie Reagan will rise from the grave!

King Hippo

eeets a meeee, Joey-a-Booooosa!

Recovery Whiskey

Just found out my SIL is bringing her plague rat kids (age 5 and 7) to inlaws tonight. Which means in all likelihood I’m about to contract a virus and die. Nice knowing you all. You gotta unleash the dragon.

The Maestro

CORONAVIRUS: Fuck it, I’m going deep. Into this guy’s lungs. None of this pussy bronchial bullshit.

Petronel

SERIOUSLY?

Gatoraids

Lamb hitting the spin you use to celebrate 20 yds open in madden

litre_cola

This not turned into not fun so quickly.

Gatoraids

McCloooooooud (thought was just something they yelled during MST3K)

McCloud season 1.jpg
BugEyedBoo

Old Geezer Boo remembers it, but not a lot about it. Fought crime in NYC wearing a cowboy hat and riding a horse.

Brocky

I only ever remember hearing that joke in POD People, which was the first episode I saw (and uncoonidentally is probably my favorite.)

Was it a reoccurring bit?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJkzmgPUBhQ&feature=youtu.be

King Hippo

As neutrals, the best part of the 500s win? It GUARANTEES that we get SNF after Week 18 (neither Tits nor Jaguras can clinch next week)

Petronel

The one time I’m actually happy to be subjected to the Team-Formerly-Known-as-the-Redacteds game.

WOOP WOOP

King Hippo

Yew tell Mr. Nel he got him a Purdy mouth?

Petronel

We’re both enjoying the Purdy offense so far (esp since the P*ts have been underwhelming this year)

King Hippo

I have…questions. MANY questions.

Senor Weaselo

Hey, Christmas race! (Some ML spoilers as I’ll do a full breakdown Wednesday.)
(Addendum: Hailfern, approximately equivalent to Halifax, is the home of the Snowballs and the site of the first team-hosted Marble League/Marbleympics in 2018.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WQ_4QUpNcA

Last edited 1 year ago by Senor Weaselo
ballsofsteelandfury

True to form, the Balls of Chaos got eliminated in the first heat…

King Hippo

Scotchy v. DonT – Xmas Anger Rankings. WHO YA GOT??

Senor Weaselo

Well, I just sent a text to Hermana Weaselo about what Senorita Weaselo got me.

And they both got me the same thing, so I guess if anyone wants a spare “Art Book of Spyro Reignited” you’re probably SOL since Hermana Weaselo’ll probably return the copy she got me.

Spur

It’s a gun rack!

Mr. Ayo

The canned ham has turned rotten.

King Hippo

Too Much Water Added (smh)

litre_cola

This is fun!

Spur

WTF! Fucking Dak has gone mental.

The Maestro

Are the Houston Texans the best 1-12-1 team the NFL has ever seen??

Gatoraids

Mayor shoulda left the power off at Tennessee

Spur

Those frozen newborns knew what they signed up for.

Spur

Boo! Put in Hurts!

Mr. Ayo
litre_cola

Minshew is the second coming of Foles IMO.

Recovery Whiskey

Kraft is off to the strip mall. Good game Bengals.

Spur

Afternoon Folks. Am assuming all the DFOers back East are smart enough to not go outside right now.

Recovery Whiskey

Seattle had our 2 days of winter end last night. Back to 51F and drizzle, Pacific air and no real problems, watching the rest of the country freeze or not fund their power grids. Stay warm folks.

Last edited 1 year ago by Recovery Whiskey
Redshirt

How in my comments did you think I was smart?

Senor Weaselo

I was out in the morning so Senorita Weaselo could leave where she was cat-sitting to go home. Fuck, man.

BugEyedBoo

How far east do you have to go before you get smart? Spousal unit insisted I shovel the walk. so it was frozen tundra heart attack city for me.

True story – as kids (high schoolers, anyway) my brothers were shoveling walks for $20/walk. Guy said that was too much, and he’d do it himself. Died of a heart attack. Didn’t bother those two sociopathic little turds in the slightest. “Still be alive if he wasn’t a cheapskate.”