Do we gots some Lesser Footy and JV NFL? By gum we sure does!
Very Disappointing Everton desperately need United to open a can of whoopass on Wolves (7:30, USA), so it won’t happen. But they are a fun watch (I will reluctantly admit), now that they’ve cast Ronaldo off the island. ten Hag is a very, very good manager.
Four meh options in the 10:00 window, with NBC choosing to broadcast Ted Lasso against the Bonesaws (USA). BLECH. I will stream City of Men hosting/ass-blasting my Toffees (Peacock), but only because I well and truly hate myself. Mighty Whitey gets Sham Town, and that might be the best watch for the neutral.
Spotlight Dance is a tasty treat indeed, with the resilient Trashbirds hosting the full-steam ahead King’s Afrikan Water Pistols (12:30, NBC). Hippo is *THIS CLOSE* to predicting that the Gooners actually do win the League. I don’t think there’s any question that their pole position (heh) is anything but fully deserved. If they are a fraud? They’ll stumble here, and badly so.
Since it is NYE, there is also ample JV NFL, starting with…
Alabama (-6.5) v. Kansas State – “Heckuva Job Brownie” Dome (12:00, ESPN)
It would seem that Roll Damn Tide wants to make a point, here. Nobody opted out, even the #1 and #2 projected overall picks in the NFL Draft. Odd for a non-playoff tilt, but Saban is mad about tOSU, and nobody wants to cross him when he’s mad. But the Unded Bill Snyders are ALWAYS pesky, especially as underdogs. Fascinating matchup.
Iowa (-2) v. Kenfucky – Bachelorette Party Bowl (12:00, ABC)
Nashville really is a pretty cool town, even if you dislike country music (as Hippo does, at least in its modern format). But you DO get some opting out here, starting with Will Levis – smartly presering his inevitable “1st round bust” status, rather than suit up one last time behind the Mildcats’ paper mache OL. Team Cornpone, on the other hand, has opted out of 21st century offensing, as a matter of team policy.
TCU (+7.5) v. Michigan – “Take a Siesta” Bowl, National Semifinal #1 (4:00, ESPN)
As is tradition, the first matchup promises to be a wet bag of shit. Bloodeyes are a well-coached, spunky outfit – but their overall team talent is mid-30s, otherwise known as “similar to the Shitty Wolves.” Lesser Harbs should dominate both lines of scrimmage, and win by three scores. Meh, wake me up for the big one later.
Found a funny:
Taco Bell is the only fast food place I roll up to with no ordering game plan. I just let the menu speak to me. The Bell will tell me what I need. My mouth may be moving but I am just the instrument of a supreme design.
TCU vs Michigan is ROCKING!!!!
Came back from getting the pizza, (we are rocking this NYE!) to see that this game has really turned into a defensive stand-off.
Did both team’s entire defensive units sit this one out while waiting for the draft?
Seems like a good plan, who wants to get injured in their last game and fuck their draft position?
Especially pre-NIL. At least now they’re getting paid. Before that why risk millions of dollars playing a meaningless bowl game where you might blow out a knee?
I haven’t seen an Ottawa Power Play that inept since City Manager McGillicuddy tried to consolidate power against the City Council but forgot to bring the customary bribe of Nanaimo Bars and they voted against him.
I haven’t seen a Detroit power play that inept since the Hunt brothers tried to corner the silver market in 1980.
THIS FIESTA BOWL, I CALL IT FRANCE IN WORLD WAR TWO BECAUSE THERE’S A LOT OF TERRITORY GAINED IN LARGE SWATHS WITH VERY LITTLE DEFENSE!
Which states are the worst food states? It seems like most places have a pretty good selection of regional specialties.
Washington was surprisingly flavorless. Their seafood was fantastic but they didn’t season ANYTHING.
I told youngest right that she needs a seasonings kit when she goes out to eat.
This tracks, I’m trying to remember anything memorable I ate in Seattle and can only come up with some plain fish
I thought I had a good doughnut there, but no, that was Portland OR
Did you not have any pho?
Not in Seattle, no. Is that really regional though? Anywhere with a sizable Vietnamese community should have good pho places
Their oysters on the half shell were dynamite but it’s because they’re raw and fresh and you’re tasting the ocean.
That’s the thing, fresh seafood doesn’t need much seasoning, just basic stuff like lemon, butter, salt, and pepper.
Wyoming
Real states only please, we all know Wyoming doesn’t exist
Imaginary birthplace of Imaginary Hippo THIS CHECKS OUT!
Do you REMEMBER being born there?? They can write anything down on a birth certificate
JUST ASK OBAMA!!!
Iowa only gets a pass because their pork and their corn is transcendent. But day to day dishes are very basic.
Alaska and Hawaii; they don’t even have normal McDonald’s!!
I think I’ll settle on Utah. I’ve been through there many times and I couldn’t tell you a single dish that I remember.
Nebraska ain’t exactly a culinary wonderland neither.
Oh, Utah is good. What do Mormons eat?
Methodists.
Mu Froggie is ded?
Okay, who put the defense on “Rookie”?
“That’s a lot of turnovers!” – A. Reid breaking into bakery
SUDDEN CHANGE!
Again.
Back to Football Manager it is!
HAHA, UM getting VAR’d again
Three degrees of the power of persuasion: saw that the next game is at Megatrons Butthole but called the Mercedes Benz dome. “Hey isn’t the Superdome the Mercedes Benz dome?”
“No, I think it’s Caesar’s Dome now.”
“Wouldn’t a better sponsor for the Superdome be Popeyes Superdome?”
“That’s fucking perfect!”
“Goddamn Popeye’s sounds awesome!”
We had Popeye’s and it was fucking delicious.
It’s good to leave life to stream of consciousness thinking.
Stadium branding works! Just not necessarily for the company with the naming rights
First to 60?
You get some football points and YOU get some football points
You love to see a McCarthy in a desperate situation because you know he’ll fuck up eventually.
Was California not a state in 1950?
At least they split up that arkahoma abomination
“With all due respect, Mr. McCarthy, we are not interested in your Alternate History if Lincoln was a communist sympathizer.”
So much of history would change for the better if a lot of people just got the shit smacked out of them the second they started talking nonsense.
I guess somebody told Lesser Harbs that linebackers are offensive to teh LORD
Seems 2022 had one last Bananacake to deliver.
Game back on!
MOAR. BLOOD. GODS. DEMAND.
This game is turning into a blood bath!
Love to see it.
BLOOD GODS – mostly sated
“Blood baths are very under-rated! I recommend them to all the nobles!”
-Elizabeth Bathory
Yes, but it has to be virgin blood. These are college kids we’re talking about here. Not enough virgin blood to fill a teacup.
Harbaugh should have aborted that play.
TCU: “We’ll be going with the big chunk play fairly often.”
Michigan: “But not very often, right?”
TCU: [shakes their head] “No, not very often.”
Michigan: “Ok, we’ll plan accordingly.”
Is there a gif that is the opposite of the “Stop, stop, he’s dead already!” one?
RIGHT INTO MAH VEINS
TRUE HIPPO STORY! My then-wife was preggo with our first when that film came out. Luckily, I saw it without her and warned…you want to skip this for a few years
I went to see Monty Python’s the Meaning of Life when I was pregnant and barfing a lot.The Mr. Creosote scene damn near killed me.
Oh Christ, that still freaks me out!
This is my life. I’m rooting for a frog! Not even a normal frog but a frog with horns. Phrynosoma cornutum!
All hail, Our New Frog Overlords!
Don’t worry. Georgia is gonna smash Ohio State like a friendless coed on rush week
Yup. They may as well borrow a I-75 highway sign and use that as GA’s score.
Call me wrong if you will but the Michigan offensive game plan relies on their skill guys being better than the opposing team and the Horny Frogs are relying on play-calling and scheming.
you are very much NOT wrong
TD Frogs
How many kids do you think the Harbaughs have adopted since Jim came out as anti-choice?
Setting the over/under at -0-
need to know if any had a lactose intolerance
WE WILL ADOPT YOUR BABY.
sew BRaVe becuz u noe teH libtards will trY 2 CANSULL hiM
Game on
game off!
I’m willing to wager that the phrase “Hey, you wanna order some Taco Bell” has never been uttered outside of a commercial.
You know what? I’ll cop to this, actually. My house in college was essentially a frat house – seven bedrooms, three bathrooms, and the regular location of parties. This is an important factor, because the morning after routinely saw all three bathrooms fully occupied from the hours of 9 AM – 11:30 AM. Domino’s was usually the weapon of choice, but TB reared its head on a few occasions.
Your position on sandwiches makes a lot more sense now.
If your heart isn’t open to accepting so many different possibilities of sandwiches, neither are your bowels.
a donut is a sandwich, isn’t it? Even glazed? THE GLAZE JUST BECOMES THE BREAD
You act as though open-faced sandwiches aren’t a thing, and I, for one, do not appreciate the facetiousness of your statement.
I beg to differ good sir!
I have been known to run for the border. And it doesn’t make me sick at all. I must have a cast iron stomach, and bowels of steel and fury!
TD here for Frogs and Team Milk & Khakis is super fucked
Distinct lack of tan lines.
/female time traveler from the 1950’s reporting back to her boss
William: “So, what are your findings?”
Agnes (the traveler): “I don’t know where to start. Um, women of a certain young age, when wanting to attract attention to themselves or to court a mate, would don material that would appear to split their buttocks in half.”
William: “In half?!”
Agnes: “Well, not really. Do you floss?”
William: “Uh, yes”.
Agnes: “Imagine that as being your bathing trunks or undergarments.”
William: “The horror.”
“Are people still gay?”
“Yes, but not in the way we think it.”
Needs more demands from William for Agnes to fix him a martini.
Gifted a 6pack of Bit Burger Prem, its ok Dont know or can taste what’s premium
Go TCU
Folks
It’s raining, so SHAME PIZZA AND SWEET RED CHILI WINGS on their way!
CHUH CHUH
Who makes the best pizza in your town?
Vegas – Metro Pizza or Johnny Macs
Marco’s
Jake Moody is Derek Carr’s favorite college player.
Favorite Movie, Leaving Las Vegas
Wow, are the UM supporters always this bitchy and douchebro-y?
(yes, I know Redshirt’s and Herodotus’ answer)
Let’s put it this way, at least I respect a Pittsburgh sports fan and can carry on a conversation with them. They’re still assholes, but they’re my kind of assholes.
The West Wing marathon on HLN is entering the part where they have the two most ideal Republican and Democratic Presidental candidates in my opinion. In 2005 and 2006, I watched entertained and engaged. Now, I watch these episodes in a dark room holding back tears for the state of politics right now.
I CALL J.J. McCARTHY MIKE McCARTHY’S BASTARD SON BECAUSE BOTH OF THEM ARE REALLY GOOD AT MAKING BAD DECISIONS WHILE UNDER PRESSURE.
Well, at least Michigan sports fans still have the Red W….. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA [takes a deep breath, wipes tears from eyes] I knew I wouldn’t be able to get thru that sentence.
Me watching the TCU-UM game:
Wow, that Bloodeyes Daywalker is BALLING OUT today
In the continuing saga of the Gumby’s Shittiest Christmas,SIL is in Vegas with her best friend who got them free tickets to see Adele ( friend has some sort of mob connections, I don’t ask.) Before she left, she defrosted some soup that she made that has shrimp in it, and then didn’t eat it for some reason . Her wife happened upon it, heated it up and took a big bite. She is deathly allergic to shellfish. So let’s recap, dead father, dead cat, son has E. Coli, wife is going to be barfing her guts up any time now, and daughter, who is hysterical over the cat, has to get to the airport tonight because she’s spending a week with her boyfriends family in New York. I may have to drive over to Riverside to take her to Ontario. It’s so foggy here you can’t see an inch in front of you, and later on we’re going to get a massive wind and rainstorm. On New Years Eve, amateur night. Fuck.
Why do I fear this is going to end with Gumby being strapped to a chair saying “worth it”?
He’s on my shitlist right now, he had better watch his step!
Will you be shivving him like a fucking lady?
I’m thinking garotte.
That’s a nice, personal touch
That reminds me, thanks for helping me move furniture between the hours when Gumby killed himself by running himself over by a car going 65 on the highway. I heard the suicide note written in a language he doesn’t speak, was very touching.
Making my birthday week seem like a vacation to Aruba.
Yikes!
Did God, in a drunken fit, mistake your life for Brocky’s fantasy football team?
Hang in there, you’re our favorite, after all.