Look at me with the hyperbolizing post question. It’s just that we’re done with the footballing and have to make the transition. [whiny voice] But I’m getting older and therefore hate change. I’ll get over it.
Observations and Assorted Crap:
-I must point out to the commentariat that I much prefer your musings on Kevin McCarthy’s on-going Getting Bitch-Slapped Bonanza than pretty much anywhere else. Keep it up.
-It’s Connor Bedard’s world, you just happen to be living and working there so show some respect for your juniors. The Teen Canucks play against the oily-haired Czechia-ians at 6:30 EST. (The Murricans had two goals called back last night in what at least guy (me) is calling The Halifax Hoodwinking).
-Sam Howell gets his first start this weekend for the Commies. Let the search for a new DFO nickname commence! I was thinking of something along the lines of Werewolves of London-“Howl”, get it? I’m just trying to help.
-Did the Niners solve their qb quandry in the wrong draft? I imagine he’ll only get better when he has a full off-season under his belt.
–Last I heard Damar Hamlin’s toy drive thingy had 7 mil in its coffers. I’d also read that the Bills Mafia had created a GoFundMe for Tee Higgins favourite charity. That’s damn classy. There’s plenty of speculation as to how the team is going to react to playing but I think that home crowd will buoy them.
-Florio is reporting that the Monday Night game will be declared a ‘no contest’. Not sure what that terminology actually means.
-Both Hurts and Lamar are unlikely to play.
-Would this year create a new record for most qb’s getting their first start? I can name Perkins, Stidham, Ridder, Dobbs, Purdy, Thompson, Howell, Pickett and Ehlinger. Did I miss anyone?
That’s it-say something, anything.
I spent the fitbaw-free evening in Fortress LemonJello’s Aquatic Center: our new swim spa.
Oh, you don’t have a swim spa? *Adjusts monocle* How disappointing for you. A shame, really.
Been unavailable so my apologies if the joke was already made by Speaker of the House entry is:
Goddamn. After nine losses, Damar Hamlin is setting up a GoFundMe for Kevin McCarthy.
Howell’s Moving Castle. Book it for your fantasy teams next year
I live six blocks from the Pacific Ocean, and I go there about once a year. Today I went because the surf was big. This is at the end of LAX so it’s a real hotbed of aviation. This guy never went high enough to get sucked into an Airbus engine, but it looked pretty cool anyway:
https://vimeo.com/786806193
What the hell is that dumbass doing there?? I’m pretty sure that’s restricted airspace no matter how low you are
It’s authorized hang gliding there. Hopefully no 747s are flying 10 feet above the parking lot.
Some good drowning water out there today:
NFL memes site is brutal
I remember the feud between nfl memes and ape. Good times
Same barber?
The great thing about shih tzus is that they never don’t look ridiculous
I always get a kick out of when I tell people the “reason” my dog isn’t dolled up in bows and such is that I’m far too lazy to keep up with the grooming maintenance
My parents have kept their Shih Tzu damned near shaved for 25 years.
Mine doesn’t mind the scarves much, but those bows and shit she hates. She finds a way to ditch those things quickly.
First night back for me for lacrosse after a month off* and I’m already sore. Why didn’t someone tell me that eating like shit and doing nothing for a month isn’t good for one’s endurance. Any why are these 20 somethings faster than last season?
And kept hitting goalposts so didn’t even get a goal tonight, so nothing to show for it. Not that I care about the goals or winning, I’m really just happy to be able to still play
*Scheduled break between seasons
First time I played poker in a while and I came in 18th out of 19. Don’t feel quite so bad about it, as 18th is as good as 5th as far as money is concerned.
tWBS and I would constantly raid various games on pokerstars dot com. That guy couldn’t play cards worth a broke-dick dog, but he would piss half the room off and get them on tilt. It was hilarious.
He was so, so bad at poker.
God I miss him.
Classic. Even in the DFO room, I knew I would at least break even thanks to him.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8BnkbIoFq4
(artist’s conception)
Homer ran farther than i
Better than me (artist’s conception)
Family Guy – Peter Has Muscle Failure – YouTube
I hated losing my speed in rec ball. Now I’m just “sneaky fast”.
Evening
Tbh not sure I’d want to be a McDonald’s ball pit fully clothed let alone nakid
Why do we block out public posts Twitter handles?
There’s a twist, the Bengals gets screwed by the Shield.
https://twitter.com/AdamSchefter/status/1611187567667589121?cxt=HHwWgsDR1c2ji9wsAAAA
That seems pretty shity
If I’m the Bengals, if the Bills get a three-score lead, I’d either start taking knees or volunteers from the defense as to who wants to get an interception from the 3rd String QB. You can’t give Baltimore anymore tape that you have to for the Wild Card Game.
I wonder how hard the NFL is going to lean into the Damar Hamlin narrative and make sure the Bills get all the help they need from wild creatures like zebras.
Sam Wyche — NFL tried to stop no-huddle in 1980s (espn.com)
Yeah, because when has the NFL ever gotten involved in the Bengals gameplan to benefit the Bills?
There needs to be more concessions for KC. If they win, they should get home field all the way through the playoffs until the SB.
Gonna show this to Mrs. Cornblower, really get this vacation off on the right foot.
Goddammit Sheryl, is that a Russian Constructivism shirt you’re wearing? For the big dinner with my boss!? I TOLD you he’s a DADAIST!!!!!!
Banner this.
Great idea.
Also, to change the subject and a friendly remember, per DFO By-Laws, in case of separation or divorce, the commentariat reserves the right to keep the spouse and expel you from the Clubhouse.
Absolutely the smart move.
As of a couple of minutes ago I started my first vacation in a couple of years. Tomorrow we leave for NYC, the next day St. John, VI.
Not sure if the place we’re staying at as internet, so if you don’t hear from me for a week that’s likely why. If you don’t hear from me for two weeks it means we flew Southwest.
Does the dwarf get its own ticket or do you just stow it safely in the overhead bin?
Why would Horatio bring him? You can’t have sex in the Virgin Islands!
You can totally soak though
Ewwww.
What’s the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?
Horatio’s never paid to have a garbanzo bean on his face.
Does the dwarf get its own ticket or do you just stow it safely in the overhead bin?
That’ll be fun! Go look at some fish!
Horatio next week:
“Word of advice-if problems arise, feel to consult us.”
-Fishbone
And Canada is restored to its rightful place atop the hockey world!
That was a beauty goal too.
This game being hosted in Canada-if overtime doesn’t solve anything it’ll come down to the most amount of players willing to take
penaltyvaccine shots.And there she is!
[wondering why this game can’t end in a tie]
-M. Hutchence
We’re on to OT!
You watching the Speaker voting too?
I don’t want to be here for the next three months.
There be some ominous rumblings in Halifax…
Wake me up when they get to Prince Edward Island*
*:yes, that’s a real Canadian Province !
Great mussels and oysters!
And potatoes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HtySGSuKZe8
I read that one possibility the NFL is considering is having the AFC Championship game be played at a neutral site.
I think we all know what the obvious candidate is.
Foxborough, of course, after all they’re not the Foxborough Patriots
Despite all of Teen Canada’s efforts, the swarthy Czechia-ians (who will steal your children in the night) insist on losing 2-0. smh…
/Status update on the brainwashing of our youngest son
Mrs. Scotch: “The youngest is not happy today.”
Me: “Huh, wonder why.” [knows why]
Mrs. Scotch: “He said business was slow at the wholesale and he doesn’t have a shift on Friday.”
Me: “SUCCESS!”
tl:dr: Son is pissed off that he doesn’t have to wake up at 4:15am and be a driver’s helper tomorrow. I can’t even begin to tell you how far he’s come from his first few days working for his old man
Told him your dad’s broken ankle story, said it was up to him whether he lived up to his bloodlines, eh?
Thing is, I offered to break his ankle to prove his worth. I was sorta kidding, just like Bobby Clarke.
Can we call Sam Howell “Rebecca Malone”?
oh SNAP that is good
If we’re headed for a dystopian future, can we aim for the one in A Brave New World?
“I’d prefer Station Eleven if I were given a vote.”
-Emily St. John Mandel (representing the Mandels of outer Merville, British Columbia, thank you very much)
The upside of no FITBAW is that one can get an early start on one’s hellscape nightmares!
Canuck juniors are aggressively shoveling the Czechia’s driveways 2-0, if you know what I mean.
Wheels, dangles, snipes then celly
The Dems do not have the chutzpah and the Republican moderates are probably too worried about getting primaried by whatever recently-retired-from-stripping-or-rich-guy-mistressing rightwing tart that Trump would promise to fund (but then renege), but goddamned if I were Hakeem Jeffries, I’d like to think that promising a few committee chairs and maybe a few Sean Penn weekends to 6 of them in order to get elected Speaker would have to be worth it.
Matt Gaetz, who I swear looks like one of those guys who was told to have a seat by Chris Hansen, in from of everyone on National TV and the House Chamber that choosing McCarthy would paralyze the House…while he paralyzes the House.
The level of hypocritical bullshit to say that with a straight face is equal parts sad and impressive.
Ok, hear me out.
This is not the fault of the 20 “rebels” or whatever you want to call them. The problem lies with the Republican Party basically acting like bipartisanship shouldn’t exist anymore.
This is only paralyzing the House because they are only thinking of what they think is best for the Republican Party, not the country or the House.
The Republican Party doesn’t have the balls to kick these 20 out of the party. They should have done this a long time ago and worked with Democrats to pick another leader. But they won’t do that because they would rather look like idiots instead of reaching out across the aisle to solve a problem.
They’ve brought this onto themselves.
You don’t even have to kick all 20 out of the Party. Start taking away their support and funding one at a time and you’ll see how quickly people change their vote.
All McCarthy has to do is tell the Democrats “Give me across the threshold and I’ll give you more chairs and a few chairpersons. Unless you like the sound of ‘Speaker Trump’”
We’ve just hit on a solution, coming from different angles! Any odds on which of us is right?
/Ron Howard voice: Neither of them were right
If McCarthy and the RNC had the stones to do that, he’d have done it a long time ago. But he was gargling Trump’s sack within two weeks of the January 6 nonsense and promised to lead the charge with new Congress on doing the things Americans deem most important like impeaching Biden and figuring out that whole laptop mess with Hunter. The rebels are right that he is a piece of shit — but that is just game recognizing game.
THIS!
They could have and should have expelled a bunch of them after Jan 6, and impeached Trump while they were at it. This is all on them, idiots.
Hoist on their own petard, if you will
I mean considering he’s basically being investigated for that, it’s surprising he was never asked to take a seat.
“Sam Howell gets his first start this weekend for the Commies. Let the search for a new DFO nickname commence!”
I was thinking along the lines of “Howell lil’ Danny Shitbag & the Clits fuck this QB over?”
…but probably a bit too lengthy
“Howelling Commando” too long?
As requested with Kevin McCarthy, from The West Wing episode where the Democratic National Convention goes into a chaotic after multiple ballots with no nominee:
(watching the party embarrass themselves before the world)
First Lady: “What are doing?”
President: “Eating their young. It’s a free-for-all. I think Aaron Burr has 20 votes.”
—————
Bills Mafia and the Bengals Charities are like kindred spirits. First with Andy Dalton throwing a miracle TD in 2017 to get Buffalo into the playoffs and now this. If good deeds are rewarded with Karma, the Bills are due for a dynasty that will make the Patriots’ era look like a decent run.
So I got home and was looking forward to sitting down and watching a Thursday Night Football to relax and I read this thread and thought, “That’s weird. It’s not like Scotchy to omit the game preview!” and then I turned on the TV and realized there is no game today.
Fuck.
“Yeah, blame those babies in Cincinnati and Orchard Park going all ‘Thursday Football?! We want to sit around and talk about our feelings!’ Wimps!”
-R. Goodell, NY, NY
Yup. I imagine that, no matter what they are saying out loud, the true feelings of Rog and almost all the owners are something along the lines of:
Bills and WKRP should have at least put out they’re U21s tonight smgdh participation trophy
No
[girls with gorgeous shoulders start moping] Who will love us now?
I say we go Gilligan’s Island for Mr Sam Howell The Third aka Lovey’s Husband
Lea Michelle Boi Version
(because U*NC)
https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/nfl-set-to-cancel-bills-bengals-game-and-is-now-considering-some-wild-scenarios-for-afc-playoffs-per-reports/
We’re not even into Week 18 and the Playoffs are already threatening to go Full Bananacakes.