There’s no time to waste!
To The Game!
Bengals/Chiefs:
-Funny how these head coach search cycles go. Certain names are mentioned over and over again but one that is not is Cincy’s DC Lou Anarumo. And look what he’s done with a D that wasn’t seen to have much talent last year. Against the Chiefs he’s had success by playing only three down linemen and dropping the rest of the players back, and yet somehow he still gets pressure on Mahomes and flusters him with the coverages he employs. I’m curious to see what wrinkle he uses today.
-There’s been plenty of shit-talking this week which tells me that this is turning into a significant rivalry. I can understand the likes of L’Jarius Sneed and Willie Gay talking smack but Eli Apple? That crappy cb is just one double move away from getting his ass torched and you know it’s going to happen. He gives me small dick energy vibes.
-High Ankle Sprain?: Has everyone else been faking it? Or is it not really that sort of injury? Or has he been pumped so full of kangaroo semen (an underrated painkiller, btw) that he can’t tell up from down? So many questions…
-WTF?: Some dumb fella wrote on a Cincy site, “It seems that the Bengals just keep playing in games with higher and higher stakes.” I think that’s how the playoffs work, sprotswriter fella.
-Burrow has feasted on the Chiefs lb’s recently so looks for Spags to perhaps replace one of his slower guys at the position (Gay?) with speedier rook safety Bryan Cook in some sub packages.
-If the focus of the Chiefs passing game centers around quick slants and screens (enabling Mahomes to get the ball out fast and not have to run around on his wonky ankle) Kadarius Toney should have a prominent role-40% of his snaps have been at the slot spot and 44% of his passes caught have been screens.
-That Cincy O-Line Problem: They held up rather nicely last week but since subbing in for La’el Collins, Hakeem Adeniji has a PFF pass-blocking grade of 30.7. (very not good)
-What the Hell Else Would He Say?: K.C.’s center and WWI enthusiast (apparently) Creed “Take Me Higher” Humphrey threw out the old, “This game will be won in the trenches” chestnut. Oof.
Do your thing.
In other news
Bengals and fans got too greedy and smug. Hopefully this will put them back in their place.
At least it sounds like Bengals fans aren’t ragging on Ossai’s penalty. He’s a good young player who made a mistake, who feels horrible.
We’ll be back. This year showed this isn’t a one hit wonder. This team will be in the playoffs for a while. Keep building the O-line and Protecting 9, and they’ll finish the job. Duke Tobin has been doing a good job putting together this team and we can only go up. Like Burrow said, “The Playoff Window is [his] entire career.”
Fuck the Narrative and Good Night.
They played a great game. We will see you next year in the playoffs.
Remember: at least you didn’t rob banks in your super fan outfit.
We’ve got some leakage from an alternate universe
Comes from the same universe:
You see, at least I could live with that outcome. Only if both teams scored OT TDs and I hit my Under/Over Parlay.
https://twitter.com/EmpireStateBldg/status/1619894608275869697/photo/1
Oh, for fucks sake. Did they not learn anything?
Aubrey Huff seems stable:
https://www.nj.com/sports/2023/01/crackpot-world-series-pitcher-bills-damar-hamlin-is-dead-or-in-bad-shape.html
Berman looks like shit. Someone in Bristol needs to sack up and tell that asshole no for the final time.
Contractual clauses, like leather-clad ladies on set at all times.
I still have work to do, so I just made myself a cross between a red hook and a Manhattan: Bulleit bourbon, punt e mes, orange bitters, luxardo cherry. Goes down a lot smoother than this game did.
Well that sounds excellent
I finished up my furioUs post for the morning. Get Rikki’s Chefs hate now, and share it.
wince on Twitter: “Eli Apple trying to get in the Bengals practice facility tomorrow https://t.co/NOSy5uhBJL” / Twitter
Hey, any of you guys gonna watch the Super Bowl?
Nothing else to do that day
Do I have to? Is it mandatory?
I don’t think so, but you never know in Joe Brandon’s America.
Yes. It’s the last day of the season for us to hang out in an open thread.
But do I have to watch. If I just show up on the thread, is that sufficient?
Of course! That sounds like complete torture to me but you do you!
No. As a Bengals supporter you are perfectly entitled to boycott, and anyone can not watch,
Nothing is FULLY mandatory other than 14-hour blocks where we have an early Euro-fixture
No, not this year.
Gotta see if i win Sharky’s family squares….
Of which there are 32 left if anyone else wants in
The what now?
Sorry, the Superb Owl.
Anyhow, looks like it turned out to be a fantastic night for THE NARRATOR.
THE NARRATOR has swiftly become my least favorite
NARRATOR: Try as she might, not even Doktorbs can stop me.
Mine too! BOO THE NARRATOR!
…if the Chiefs missed that last field goal, the refs were gonna go Palpably Unfair Act on Cincy.
Marc Hochman on Twitter: “Refs about to announce classified documents have been found on Bengals sideline.” / Twitter
I’m a pretty tolerant person, accepting defeats as part of life, but the Chiefs getting a do-over because the back judge forgot how to work a whistle is just a bit too far for me.
That last penalty was on us, though. The entire team knew it. I think Ossai faked a knee injury so he wouldn’t have to look his teammates in the eyes.
Watch this, Lis. You can actually pinpoint the second when his heart rips in half. – YouTube
Was it, though?
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FnsGAhuaQAEEcnx?format=png&name=900×900
I’m going to pretend his right foot is on the ground, because I cannot survive jail. They would use me as currency.
I thought it both was a penalty technically, (the best kind of penalty), and also one that just shouldn’t have been called at that point in the game.
The 3rd down re-do was just awful. That can’t happen. And you also can’t call intentional grounding on Burrow and then not call it two minutes later when Mahomes does the same thing.
Yeah…that 3rd down re-do was where I thought KC had the game, barring some kind of colossal fuckup
I think Kelce was probably close enough to the pass, but agreed that you can’t only call borderline penalties on one team. Usually they’re encouraged to be more hands-off with playoff calls, but that was not the case here, both those calls were borderline at best and had a huge impact on the game
Oh, and the fake PI call!
The Bungles are running the AFC North as long as Burrow is breathing.
With that o-line, that’s not unpossible.
Just get more OL Depth and put Eli Apple on the next barge on the Ohio River. Let Louisville, Paducah or St. Louis deal with him.
That was very strange, and definitely something that shouldn’t happen, especially in a playoff game. They could have handled it better as well, there’s no real reason the play couldn’t have counted and they just reset the clock based.
It’s so nice that my TV switches to my PlayStation as soon as I turn it on, saving me the effort of actively navigating away from Fire Country.
My wife will be watching this show, guaranteed. She loves this kind of shit.
rip
Pretty glad I turned the game off.
But your new team just won. Why would you want to miss it?
That’s just mean.
I presume he means the refs, and he’s right, I really should be rooting for them, they are undeniable.
I’ve been trying to get him to stay away from the misery of being a Raiders fan. You know how much it hurts him. We all love Rikki and want him to be happy. Nothing wrong with wanting that for him.
I just realized I don’t have any tequila that I like. So much for celebrating.
Alcohol isn’t about liking, son. It’s about drinking. Get to it.
Then down it quickly. Bypass the tastebuds.
do you have any limes
Not enough. Going back to moonshine.
Andy Reid has one kid dead from an OD, one kid in prison after nearly wiping out several people with DUI, and took something like three months off when both were busted for running drugs, and everyone associated with the NFL takes the position that Andy Reid is just a lovable fat guy who can’t get enough of football.
Andy Reid is a piece of shit who failed miserably at the most basic function a father can have. Fuck him and everything about him.
The Eagles will feast on his carcass.
From your lips to the thousand ears of Xenu.
That should take awhile.
With plenty of leftovers.
You should really blame his father then
Is it hate week already?
Col. Joseph Lee Burrow on Twitter: “Father— Damn. —Joe” / Twitter
now that the greatriots are dead this is reminding me of the old super bowls: simply do not trust the afc squad with their quarterback going hero mode to win a game against a physical nfc team
And somehow an NFC East team is involved.
Bengals fans did get too arrogant and some idiots on the team gave the Chiefs too much motivation.
This, 1000%
Yeah always best to keep your mouth shut and show a bit of respect. Not todays model sadly so it doesn’t age well half the time.
Of course a C.Hunt accepts this trophy.
usually thats just the Stanley Cup
The Cunt usually hands out the Stanley Cup.
Sorry, forgot the H. Must be saving it for Hartford.
Alright. Later, Taters.
Sleep wello, Jello
Just to be fair, I suspect Butteker, (however you spell it), would have hit from 55 if he had to, and the real problem is Cincy’s decision to put the ball in play off the punt, as well as that mind-bogglingly dumb pass Burrow threw on 3rd and 3 the previous drive.
Have no idea why that punt didn’t go out of bounds.
There were a lot of real problems. Maybe they’ll finally draft some O-line help this year.
Oh god yes. Their O-line is more a theory than an actual thing.
They did have three starters out.
For some reason “slurs for Nigerians” is the #1 Google search in Hamilton County
That’s not news.
I’ve seen this Wikipedia page out of context more times than I’d like to admit
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_ethnic_slurs_and_epithets_by_ethnicity
Evidently the Bengals worship Cthulhu
Going now to our correspondent Jason Whitlock to find out what this result says about which Poker Face character best represents Daily Wire columnist Andrew Klavern.
Jason Whitlock: My Vote Should Count 3/5 As Much As Tucker Carlson’s Vote.
Drink every time you hear Kelcebowl in the next 2 weeks.
Do you hate all of our livers?
Knowing someone else hates my liver is hugely validating honestly.
Eugene Tooms from Xfiles wants to know your location
Deep, creepy cut.
Yeah, Christ, that was something.
Fun Fact: Same character played a bounty hunter named Tooms, (maybe Tombs), in one of the Riddick movies.
Challenge accepted!
Not only that, I’m getting a head start right now.
Fuck, there’s one!
For the Bengals, that’s a Lions-level loss.
Except I respect the Lions now.
Mahomes seems about 60% hillbilly
Tyler, Texas, so yeah.
Mahomes fully could have been a supporting character in Bernie.
In retrospect one of the worst things about the Music City Miracle is that because we saw it once, we’ll never get to see anything like it again.
If we do, the Browns or Vikings will be on the receiving end.
The Bengals tried to play dirty and got caught too many times. Looking forward to getting another SB win. Mahomes may be the greatest to ever play the game, right behind Brady.
Maybe now The Bungles will get rid of Eli Apple.
0 = -1 for dirty play comment (last play scarred into Bengals Playoff Lore aside) and +1 for Eli Apple comment
I may be sitting the Super Bowl out.
You’ll be back
Well, that put a sour taste in my mouth
Houston, after #27 went ATM
What a bunch of assholes, making me root for Philly in the Owl
I root for the Dallas Cowboys so you know it physically pains me to say this: I hope the Eagles run train on these assholes.
TRACY I’M HIGH AS BALLS
— Travis Kelce
Kermit pointing to the sky after the win. Mr. Potter doesn’t give a rat’s ass about football though.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: anyone betting on NFL games is an idiot.
It’s almost as bad as betting on FIFA
Christ, no one could be that dumb.
Could they?
“Jesus, what a way to go.”
– c. 2023, Cincinnati, OH
– c. 33, Jerusalem, Roman province of Judea
Cincy got jacked
Well that was fun til it was obvious it was fixed
Memphis police are just glad there’s another unnecessary roughness that everyone will be talking about now
Jesus Christ.
It’s true that that wasn’t a real penalty and also that the Cincy defender went Dumb Mode.
Yeah, you can’t say it was a blatantly bad call, because there was contact out of bounds. But you also can’t call that little contact for 15 yards at that point in the game and still expect to have any sort of credibility.
Not that the NFL is ever going to give two shits about credibility. That ship sailed out of the harbor, burned to the waterline and sank years ago.
Romo absolutely knows that you can end your season on a mistake.
He took a lot of hits to the head; it’s possible he’s forgotten.
Trent Green would threaten to sue for infringement, but, he’s too busy gluing shoes to his kitchen wall.
Rooting for Meteor at the Owl.