Three weeks of the 2023 Aussie Footy season are in the books, and here are some observations from ‘Murrica:

• Holy shit was I (read: everyone) wrong about Geelong. They’re at the bottom of the ladder and looking woeful/like they woefully belong there.
• Injuries are crushing teams, not just my Giants as usual but also West Coast (missing 6 or 7 players this week) and just about everyone else, too.
• St. Kilda (Litre’s team, IIRC) actually looks legit and has earned their spot at the top (for now).
• Richmond is a completely different team with and without Dusty Martin, as was reinforced with him (and Jacob Hopper) being out last week against the Pies, who look very good but absolutely manhandled the Tigers without Dusty.
• Brisbane is CLOSE to making me believe they’re a real contender, but the kick efficiency needs to get better.
• The dissent dispute rule can eat my ass.
• I only got two picks correct in last week’s tipping pool, so maybe I don’t know anything at all about this sport.
• That being said, I did teach an Australian living in NYC how to watch games via the WatchAFL app two weeks ago.

Obviously I didn’t write up week two (though I was right about being worried about GWS coming off of their big win in week 1), so if you want game by game looks, below is a round 2 highlight reel, and the post-round discussion thread on the AFL subreddit is here.

Week Three Round Up (aka here’s what I know from the smattering of games I watched):

Carlton 74, GWS 64. The Blues scored 10 more times than the Giants; but those were 10 behinds, which means GWS was in it until the very end when they got rawdogged by the refs. It was a tough game to watch as a fan given the teasing.  Carlton is good, though. Also, a guy named Owies left the game with an injury. Whomp whomp. Match highlights here:

I also watched almost all of Richmond v Collingwood, and as noted above, very different game if Dusty is playing. Collingwood won 64-49, and it could have been a lot worse than that.

And the aforementioned continued Geelong disappointment, falling to Gold Coast 73-54:

Not opining on games I didn’t watch a lick of, so here’s the full ladder after three weeks, not spoiling Brisbane v Collingwood for anyone even though that game was played earlier this morning.

Week four matchups below:

Brisbane v Collingwood (already happened)

Brisbane’s chance to show they really are the real real. Collingwood’s chance to stay on top of the ladder. Who knows what will happen/happened in the wee hours?

North Melbourne v Carlton

Carlton is going to win this whether or not NM plays with actual Kangaroos on the field.

Adelaide vs Fremantle

Can Yeahright’s Dockers get to .500 after four weeks? I think they could but they’ll have to do it without Heath Chapman and Michael Frederick, both ruled out this week in addition to Nat Fyfe’s continued absence due to plantar fasciitis (and I hadn’t realized he relinquished his captaincy due to mental health struggles, hope he’s getting the rest he needs on both fronts).

Richmond vs Western

Dusty and Jacob Hopper are back so either the Tigers win this decisively or [see point above about me not knowing anything]

St. Kilda vs Gold Coast

I see no reason why the Saints undefeated streak can’t continue at least one more week.

Sydney vs Port Adelaide

There’s some chatter amongst the Aussie footy set that the Swans have a “Buddy Franklin problem.” I hate that shit, he may be old but he can still change the game and kick it from anywhere. Healthy, he’s a top difference maker. If not healthy, he should Shane Mumford it and coach a little to test it out. Meanwhile, Port is trying a “shakeup”, cutting four players after last week’s poor showing. Always a bold move. Here’s hoping it backfires.

Essendon vs GWS

Honestly I think the best thing I/new Giants Coach Adam Kingsley can hope for is a strong display of resilience. It’s a talented team but one likely to stay in the bottom half until the rebuild really takes shape. That being said, Rikki’s bombers and his bandana tied wingwang can go to hell.

West Coast v Melbourne

Despite having a win while Geelong is winless, West Coast is my sleeper pick for the wooden spoon this year, in part because of injuries but mainly because I think they suck.

Geelong vs Hawthorn

Ok, Balls, is this the week your Cats get off the schneid? They’re heavily favored, which would make it even more hilarious if they blew this one at the MCG.

Oh, and if you want to see the AFL ladder as depicted through some rando’s stuffed animal collection, here you go:

What’s on TV Tonight?

Hockey? Hockey!

Jonesing for more student athlete exploitation now that the Fighting Horatios are on their (I presume) barnstorming tour challenging AAU and JCC teams across the nation?  How about the FROZEN FOUR. It’s like the final four except whiter (in every way).  Oh and they’re in Tampa, so let’s dispense with the frozen commentary and set and over / under of strip club altercations

BU vs Minnesota, 4PM DFO Time on ESPN
Michigan vs Quinnipiac, 7:30PM DFO Time on ESPN

There appear to be NHL games, too, but I can’t tell which are on Hulu vs ESPN+ vs nothing

Basketball

Heat at 76ers, 6:30PM DFO time on TNT
Nuggets at Suns, 9PM DFO time on TNT

Aussie Footy

Stay up til 1:20 am DFO time and you can catch North Melbourne/Carlton live (WatchAFL app for the win!)

If the Masters are still going, take it up with WCS.  I’ll be on a plane when this publishes anyway so good luck out there, we’re all counting on you.