Well, nothing fancy or schmancy on the block tonight, but hey, semester’s over, I get myself a little break before the summer classes start, if I’ll be there for those. So for once I’m writing this up from the confines of Apartment Weaselo! It’s nice in that I didn’t travel an hour and a half to get here and instead rolled out of bed to grab my laptop.
Now if only I had something clever for this. I’ve definitely been inspired by Balls’s newest story to come up with something, but no ideas yet. But be on the lookout, especially after the Beat goes on hiatus while we wait for Champions II, whatever it may entail. If I think of something.
As for now, there’s still BattleBots to watch, so let me get to that and not write the Beat morning of.
News
First off, in non-NFL news, paging Balls, because an adult site wants to sponsor Shempions League finalist Inter! Sigh, what is it with sports teams/leagues and dealing with crypto sites. (For those with AdBlock, you’ll unfortunately need to whitelist the page.)
Jets working out punter and “no findings against” alleged, uh, stuff, Matt Araiza. (The charges have been dropped, though civil suit still pending.)
Commanders TE Armani Rogers, non-contact Achilles, done for year.
QAARON’S POST-QAVE WATQH: Aaron Rodgers said it’s been a “dream month” with the Jets even though he tweaked a calf.
The big kickoff update: All fair catches on kickoffs to be moved to the 25. So, basically we’re about one step away from banning kickoffs, because how often are people going to run it back in this case?
Sports
NHL Eastern Conference Final HARDWARE GAME AND POTENTIAL SWEEP
Vichy Whalers at Sunrise, Sunset (CAR vs. FLA, Panthers lead 3-0)
No basketball later because the Nuggets swept, Eastern Conference Game 5 tomorrow (Heat lead 3-1)
Aaaand, still no national Wednesday night game because Manfred is a disgrace!
James May: “Cooking is something to do with your hands whilst you’re having a drink”
That is an accurate assessment of my cooking Mr. May.
I told myself I was going to bed early tonight. I did not.
STOP IT WITH THE ESPRESSO DRINKS
Everyone involved should be ashamed of themselves
You spelled “summarily executed” wrong
Dat chit wouldn’t fly over here…
JFC
That’s 12 straight Eastern Conference Final games lost by the Vichy Whalers
You just hate to see it.
https://twitter.com/BobbyBigWheel/status/1661565486893547523
Oh Hartford Civic Center
Aww, you lost your little challenge Carolina. I feel so bad for you.
Now..
Matthew Tkachuk, not content with scoring an OT winner, scores a pre-OT goal.
Show some balls, Florida; pull the goalie for the power play.
Free hockey?
Has the feel of a multiple OT fiasco.
Or not. lol
All the rats!
You ruined it. We wanted six OTs THEN Vichy Whalers lose.
I make no apologies. Whatever small part I can play in Carolina’s season ending without the Cup I am happy to do it.
https://youtu.be/4Mxi1vI73RI
Farewell fine lady
nut…bush?
Was just wondering why it was so quiet in here during a Cup Game 7 and then noticed I was in the wrong thread.
Memorial Day Weekend Brain has been engaged.
What’s undead can’t be killed.
“The HorrorCanes have tied it up! God Dammit!”
-Horatio, looking up at the tv while applying Waygu beef tallow to the midget
He’ll get common tripe and like it.
Given the Panthers post-season, one could argue that this is the 2nd-most successful Southern Strategy ever employed in the United States.
Wait, Blake Lively is pitching for the Red Legs? And very well, I must grudgingly admit.
For my fellow DFO compatriots of the liberal persuasion who projectile vomit when they see anything conservative, here is an artistic interpretation of Ron “New Coke” DeSantis’ Presidential announcement:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fahljd_0xjA&pp=ygURc2hvY2ttYXN0ZXIgZGVidXQ%3D
There’s so many examples but Jeb has to be one of the faces on the Mount Rushmore of failson’s.
From SNL’s George W. Bush “Yeah, I know. Twist in plot, I’m the smart one.”
This is why I believe he never really wanted to be President, anyway. It was more thrust on him.
huh huh huh thrust
Family dynamics amongst the most elite of the elite are what they are. A few generations of Bush kids ran for political office because that was what was expected.
*Kennedy’s are probably the best modern-day example
Nobility, MURICAN style.
“Thank John A. McDonald that sort of nepotism doesn’t exist in Canada!”
-Justin Trudeau
What if you fair catch it on the 30? Does it go back to the 25?
They need to swap faces, as I am positive Elon is more of a man than DeSantis.
If they are men, consider this my coming out moment, because I just transitioned off the gender.
“Finally the hero this Republican been looking for.”
-me looking at a sandwich longingly
Put mirrors all over that bedroom and the resulting sex couldn’t GET any hotter!
If Marika is not involved, this is the textbook definition of Missed Opportunity!
Nods enthusiastically
In Manfred’s defense, Wednesday is a get away day for teams to start their 4 game weekend series.
Ugh, I feel dirty now.
As you should.