It takes some digging to come up with some real insight on second-tier women’s national futbol sides. But alas, we only conscripted 2pack for the one preview. Unless the Clubhouse LOUDLY demands MOAR!!
In the meantime, Hippo takes one ass cheek into the Argentine wilds. It seems familiar territory, as (i) Bernard Gilkey has an asston of Argentine players on his 2200-01 Pretend City of Men side; and (ii) holy cats, do I ever LOVE athletic, slender South American women (ESPECIALLY ones who would never so much as make eye contact with a lowlife like me).
28th in the FIFA rankings…ain’t a great spot, in terms of WWC ambitions. But, they get 2pack’s crew first, and that matchup probably decides 2nd place in the group (and advancement to the knockout stages).
Speaking of knockout…keep an eye out for #13, midfielder Sophia Braun. First of all…classic “Boys of Brasil” name! NEVAR forget, the rat line filled up Argentina, too. Second of all, she played at Gonzaga! Since she’s NAWT John Stockton, you know she’s kewl. Thirdly…see the pic above. Huzzah!
I mean, she’s worth getting up in the middle of the night for, yeah? Anyway, they get Italy on 24 July (2:00a, EST), South Afrika on 27 July (8:00p?? That can’t be right, Google), and finally what they hope to be Sweden’s walk-ons on 2 August (3:00a).
I want to see them advance, and not just as a pervert. I think South American women’s futbol could use a little boost, and will see if La Albiceleste can provide it. But they need a better nickname, and I open up the floor to suggestions below.
Bonus! From teh Unabomber Shack!!
As I mentioned many Pretend Years ago, Bernard Gilkey managed an “Invincible” season with his Cityzens. But now, Hippo brings to y’all…a feat much MOAR amazing. Behold, the Very Vincible Villans of the Pretend Year of Our LORD 2200. They finished on 4 points. Not 4 wins, mind. FOUR GODDAMNED POINTS, all from Draws. 0-34-4, in American parlance. They also managed a triple digit Goal Differential (which I have NEVAR been able to manage in the positive sphere), at -102.
This is so mind-boggling that it requires photographic evidence.
“Hardly anyone almost kinda took steroids on a semi-never regular basis but it wasn’t serious. Seriously.”
-Nitro, Gemini, Laser and Barry Bonds
Now we’re grilling! All the bros are here and eldest right and the Wahini are here. Chicken cooking, slapping some burgers together.
We’re gonna throw down, Jack!
Excellent choice, Monterey Jack is never a bad cheese to throw down onto a burger.
The star of the burger was the grilled pineapple. I don’t think I’ll ever have another home grilled burger without it.
Aw, cheeseburgers with grilled pineapple take me back to The Night I Won the Super Bowl. I assume teriyaki was included in said burger?
Oh yeah. We tried to duplicate the Big Kahuna burger from earlier this year but charcoal grilled instead of cast iron grilled. Awesome stuff.
It’s been documented for a future Sunday Gravy.
Jonathan quick signs with the ice giants. If you can’t beat them, sign them as a backup to play 15 games 10 years later.
Not the first GM that went the, “That guy that killed us when he was in his prime? He’s left an indelible mark on us and I’m going to sign him so that he recaptures the magic/never hurts us again” route.
/your *citation needed* is Favre signing with the Vikes
Addition by subtraction.
You need to do a post about that.
It’s cruel and unusual to trigger PTSD.
“He’s gotta pull up his
socksTruck Nutz and be a man!”-Jordan Peterson, trying yet another grift
I’m not sure I can speak of “He who shall not be named.”
As I posted in other places… EMOTIONAL DAMAGE.
Exactly.
I’m watching Muscles and Mayhem, that doc about American Gladiators and I’m thinking, ‘Huh, Todd Christensen, he was all over the place in media at the time, whatever happened to him”?
/oof, he passed away 10 years ago
That doc was depressing.
I found it cynical above all else. Rich white dudes churning out “product” and the male stars of the show having as much sexfucking as possible. At the time it may have been seen as an even trade.
Male Warriors: “Ok, we destroy our bodies but we get tons of sex from randos and a better cheque than what we’d get from working at McDonalds?”
Producer: [points at accumulated warriors with pistol fingers and makes clicking sound with mouth]
Male Warriors: “Done!”
Name five male members of DFO who would have turned their noses up at that offer while they were in their twenties. You can’t!
Wife has left for two weeks-my priorities are
Don’t forget the panicked whole house cleaning the day before she comes home. Gumby always forgets that part. He shouldn’t.
And I’m sure he’s seen his share of 80’s teen comedies. That part didn’t take, I guess.*
*hopefully the ‘spying on girls while they’re naked’ didn’t as well
See, that’s what really pisses me off. When we had parties at his house when we were teenagers, I always helped him clean the house after so his parents wouldn’t know. Other than the neighbors telling them, but hey, at least the house was clean! Now I come home to a sty when I go away. He was more scared of his mom than me, I guess. That’s such a mistake, I’m sooooo much meaner!
Oh, his parents knew. Having the house not be a complete shitheap when they returned home was a dead giveaway.
I think we all wished for a sexbot who looked like Kelly LeBrock and also could use her magic powers to restore your party-destroyed house to its pristine original condition.
Fr though good job taking advantage of the seafood opportunity.
plus HAWT SEX with every slutty broad in Northern Ontario amirite????
Just the waitresses at Red Lobster
Or the weed girl.
Travel safe tWBS.
Wifey has done the tired, “Would you end up with someone else if I died?” convo several times. I’ve countered with, “Do I look like a guy, at my age, that would put a bunch of time and energy-neither of which I have-into wooing someone, anyone else?
I am looking forward to the peace and quiet. He needs to hope I don’t get my solitude early, if ya know what I’m saying!
Gumbygirl needs to do a post about her favourite stress-releasing objects, if ya know what I’m saying.
That vibration coming from the Palm Springs area is NOT the San Andreas….
At the risk of going to hell again… I’m so happy I’m single and no responsibilities.
Mrs. Scotchnaut’s view on returning home:
[Is incredibly pissed that he didn’t post this first]
-Some dumb-ass royal-adjacent commenter
I travelled to my sister’s wedding years ago, and when I got back home, Gumby had cleaned the house, but all of my chairs from my kitchen table were broken, because he and his asshole squid buddies had been “Superpro Wrestling.”
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/yevgeny-prigozhin-will-never-be-discussed-again-russian-media-to-erase-all-traces-of-mutinous-warlord/ar-AA1dii3N?ocid=winp1taskbar&cvid=8daaaf830f2c4aabb7c3fe0e9c86e11d&ei=46
Fascinating stuff. Putin’s downfall and its fallout is the next big geopolitcal paradigm shift, and looky here. It’s underway.
I’m honestly shocked a death hasn’t been announced yet.
“Seriously!”
-A sidewalk directly underneath a 24th floor hotel window in Moscow
The Yankees at the #BFIB. What will be the greater threat to the Midwest, the heat dome moving up from Texas, or the cloud of smug emanating from the ballpark?
Looks like Rikki, Clint Greasewood, and I are getting started on this year’s kidnapp—I mean, recruitment drive, early this year.
Hello Reddit users!
Our API is free!!
…we have an API right?
If by that you mean “APE” and by that you mean “Moosemas Ape”, then YES!
Oh gawd, where did Beastmode and Moose go? ! ? ‽ ?¿ Somebody go fetch them!
Query – why does The Canadia say “soccer” instead of “football?” Of all the things to break from the UK aboot, why the one thing they gets right??
Our ladies taking on Morroco in a friendly in 10 minutes. Go Belle!
Good turn out in Ferrara
#SeemsNice
Ends in a thrilling nil-nil draw.
Do you think bands open up concerts in Marrakesh by announcing they’re about to put the ROCK back in Morocco?
I hope so, that or Rockin the Kasbah
Happy Canada day to my favourite buncha degens
/has no selfie game
Okay, they were NOT kidding when they said you’re a tall drink of water.
Fucking lamp level, boys!
Ya, I’m between 6’4″ and 6’5″. And as seen, I have the same skin coloUr of water, aka pale AF
Jeebus, you are our Dikembe Mutombo! By size not coloUr, anyway
Oh, *why* did I challenge this guy to trial by combat over a silly time slot dispute? Why?!?!
I’m sure Don T and I can come up with some good nicknames for the Argie squad. First up:
Las Creídas
There’s gotta be a Falklands joke somewhere, right?
So based on the internet I think my knee thing is patellar somethingorother aka ‘runners knee’. I ordered a knee strap since that’s recommended instead of the normal sort of knee brace, and today I tried taping my knee. Not sue if it’s helping, mostly just feels like I have a bunch of tape on the skin around my knee
I screwed up my knee on a jump about 35 years ago. As rehab I used a strap for about 6-7 years and had such good results that I no longer needed it. From time to time since then, like after a marathon or longer distance runs my knee will talk to me. I’ll wear the strap for a couple weeks and it’s back to normal. I put on about 25-30 miles a week so while not intense, for an old fart like me that is a lot. To make a long story longer… I believe that the strap is a good option to start out with. I hope your results are as good as mine have been.
Fingers crossed! I think I triggered it by a combination of banging it on the ground by accident and too much ladder climbing, so hopefully it’ll respond similarly
Patella femoral syndrome. It’s also really fun when you get the partial dislocations.
My right knee has been talking for a couple of weeks now. Mostly in the language of clicks and pops.
Nothing like sounding like a glow stick being activated when going up and down stairs
When I smacked the shit out of mine, landing on a runway, the kneecap was loose. Doc said the kneecap holds the cartilage in place, and loose cartilage = bone friction = pain. So the strap simply holds the cap in place so it can do the rest.
I’ve been having this weird thing lately where, for a day or two after I play tennis, my left foot is really stiff and sore whenever I get up from sitting or lying down. Once I walk for a bit it loosens up again. Hiking doesn’t bother it. I’m hoping it’s something as simple as needing a better pair of shoes.
Cannot recommend to get new shoes when thing start to hurt, enough.
Yeah, worth a shot. I mean, obviously tennis is a different activity and so it could just be the stress of stopping, starting, pushing off that foot. But it occurs to me that the shoes I’ve been wearing for tennis are ones I don’t use for anything else.
It is LIFE CHANGING to have a podiatrist diagnose your feet and tell you exactly what shoes you should buy (and which to never, ever wear).
Suffice to say, Keen (Kean?) hiking shoes are the dressiest I ever go again, even if I have to put on a suit.
I re-buy the same old man tennis shoes off Amazon every 2-3 years. They come in black now, for the extra old effect.
I had mine scanned and have special inserts for my running shoes. I have high arches which were falling a bit and causing pain. So my physical therapy PA recommended a place that had the computer foot mapping set up. Huge difference. Worth every penny of the couple hundred bucks it cost me.
Could be you need more arch support, or maybe a wider shoe. When I was playing tennis a lot I eventually got shoes that were tennis specific and they made a surprisingly big difference.
Good news? Is probably not sommet serious.
Bad news? It will probably hurt off and on forever.
/but seriously, see an orthopedist and they probably can get you a PT regimen that fixes the bulk of it (that was true for me and my misaligned patella)
I already stretch and strengthen the surrounding muscles, so I’m not super worried about it. I’m mostly just annoyed that it keeps almost getting better but then not, probably because I’m crap at resting it
Did you go riding today?
Of course! It was the first really hot day at the farm and I’m all droopy now since I’m not heat acclimated, lol
I feel like they should get sent to League One for that.
Even worse: the NFC South.
What a crossover episode THAT would make!
Good hustle here Hippo. And what a nice lady, I look forward to the match.
One of my shops just went Litre level distro on the home grown vino. I’ll let him comment on if this is a good thing.
With the attachment this time.
I bet you guys though I was going to post a Marika pic…
That dress is doing yeoman’s work, fo sho!
I gotta get the boy to sleep later.
That will kick in right about the time he’s 15.
Then you won’t be able to wake him up before 11.
TROOF. There ain’t no middle ground with chilluns here. And SPOILER ALERT – your asshole parenting brain won’t let YOU sleep in until 11, no matter what.
Can confirm
PRO TIP: Take the boy down to the animal shelter and pick out a nice deserving dog. Take dog home, leave boy at shelter.
https://youtu.be/K943LEq1LK0
You always have the best/worst ideas. Berst ideas!