Your Treasured Sunday Night NFL Football Open Thread

We’ve been through a lot, you and me and Scott Hansen, haven’t we? But it’s not quite over just yet-a tasty NFC East scuffle is before our very eyebulbs.

To the Game!

Cowboys/Giants:

-Stinking Dallas has had New York’s number recently, having won 11 of the last 12 ‘showdowns’. (hard to call it that when one of the participants has been so inept)

-Waller’s hammy-from everything I’ve read-doesn’t seem to concern coaches and training staff that much. He reported tightness on Friday so was given a break as a precaution. As indicated in training camp, a fair amount of things the Giants want to do on offense depend on him being on the field-not necessarily catching the ball per se but just having the D account for him.

-Look for some hot shots downfield headed towards rookie Jalin Hyatt. He’s a fella with 4.38 speed, the likes of which New York hasn’t seen in quite some time. Though the sample is quite small relative to other qb’s, Dimes is very accurate on throws of 20+ yards.

-Deuce Vaughn, (I shall call him Shrimp Toast) the 5’5″, 173 pound rookie running back on the Cowboys seems to be just the kind of player that will befuddle the Giants D. He’ll follow in the fine tradition of Jason Witten, D-Jax and Boston Scott as a talent that New York has no answer for. I’m not looking forward to the next half decade or so.

-As noted in my Giants preview, the D is going to start two rookies (Banks and Hawkins) as boundary cornerbacks. I’m sure they’ll be fine at some point but at times it’s going to be painful to watch. This scenario is what happens when you have a dearth of talent at one position so it’s somewhat expected.

Do it.

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Spur

make that sound my background music

WCS

BAH GAWD THAT’S SPUR’S MUSIC HE’S HERE HE’S HERE TONIGHT LIVE

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You can’t backdoor at a Hyatt, that’s a Hilton move.

WCS

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JustStopDude

That’s hot…

Horatio Cornblower

It’s good strategy for the Cowboys to punt there, because it gives the defense a chance to score another TD

Last edited 1 year ago by Horatio Cornblower
Wakezilla

Special thanks to the Cowboys for blowing out the Giants right now. It makes me feel like I’m not missing anything because I have to watch Girlzilla and Toddlerzilla as the Mrs. checks on a work crisis.

Horatio Cornblower

Does she work for the Giants?

JustStopDude

It’s good that the Giants are raising money and awareness of suicide, but yall are kind of undoing that with this game.

Spur

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Brick Meathook

My first job when I moved to California was as a cameraman for a documentary photographing this exact plane at Edwards AFB. shot the pilots suiting up in space suits, getting into the plane, engine start-ups, takeoff (looked exactly like this) and then when they returned 90 minutes later after flying around half the U.S. they did three fly-bys for us. The pilot gave me a souvenir pin that is sitting on my desk right now.

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Mr. Ayo

Slow

WCS

All I’m saying is the Vikings rallied from a bigger deficit to beat the Clots.

Spur

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Wakezilla

Whatever happened to her?

Horatio Cornblower

Turned 30?

JustStopDude

Great commercial. Now I wish I was watching “Anchorman” instead of this shit game.

King Hippo

Smart. If NYG could have kept that timeout, perhaps they could have gotten in range to miss a third FG in hilarious fashion.

JustStopDude

What the hell could Daniel Jones be looking at in those photos on the sideline?

It’s hard to develop a pass play in 0.7 seconds.

LemonJello

Tinder matches.

King Hippo

His stock portfolio?

Wakezilla

He’s checking out Only fans

BrettFavresColonoscopy

“This is the guy we need to take out back and shoot”

Mr. Ayo

Eli sent him a picture of his fake check he received.

Spur

All the NYFD hats in the world wont stop this dumpster fire

Sharkbait

Banner

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oh, Ga-no!

Horatio Cornblower

The hobos of Ontario better get their track shoes on.

King Hippo

Gary Gnu? MOAR LIEK GUH-NO!!!

Spur

missed

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

– B. Walsh

LemonJello

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Mr. Ayo

A FG? Really? HAHAHAHA!

Spur

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King Hippo

uhhhhh, what HBO show is this from?????

Spur

White Lotus S2

Col. Duke LaCross

White Lotus

King Hippo

oh, methinks I will skip ahead to S2 (that’s been on me list)

Horatio Cornblower

Daddario is in S1

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What is this from and why am I not watching it instead of this game?

Horatio Cornblower

It’s not porn, it’s HBO.

Sharkbait

Not current HBO anyway

Spur

love this.

King Hippo

I love that the non-competitiveness allowed me to finish my column before #4thPill even wore off.

Gumbygirl

Looking forward to trying to decipher it, Hieroglyphic Hippo!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Now someone divide his salary by number of catches so we can get annoyed by that stat all year.

WCS

Or number of bathrooms in Russell Wilson’s house.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Cooper Rush could play the second half and this game would still end like 42-3

Horatio Cornblower

I don’t want to get on Jones too much, because his offensive line is more a theory than a fact, but he got all that money based on one game.

King Hippo

I know it happened last season. But these ain’t the 2022 Humps and/or Vikes here.

Spur

timeout for the punk ass Giants

Spur

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Spur

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Wakezilla

They seem nice

WCS

Margie Taylor-Greene Jr in the middle

fleshwound_NPG

Danny NFTs

LemonJello

Well NYC, you still have the Jets on MNF…

BrettFavresColonoscopy

*New Jersey

LemonJello

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Horatio Cornblower

(checks crate)

LemonJello

You mean The Hurt Locker?

Horatio Cornblower

Goddammit.

King Hippo

I seriously considered googling “crate training for sex dwarves” today. My senile old man ramblings in a few decades are going to be so very embarrassing.

Horatio Cornblower

FBI Agent: “Yeah. For ‘sex dwarves.’ No it’s the guy in Carolina who’s played 300 years of Footy Manager. Yeah, code-name ‘Gilkey.’ No, he’ll lose interest and take a nap within an hour. I wouldn’t scramble anyone.”

Last edited 1 year ago by Horatio Cornblower
Spur

Dallas all up that Giants ass. Cronus better come to help

Senor Weaselo

Most of these fans haven’t been this disappointed since, well this afternoon when Dominguez tore his UCL.

LemonJello

Ol’DubbleJ is going to double the usual order of hookers and blow for the flight home tonight.

fleshwound_NPG

halftime. hes having them at halftime

Sharkbait

Because my fantasy teams took a drubbing today, I have to listen to Collinsworth, and it was my birthday this weekend, Im having Highland park 12

King Hippo

Give Dimebag his guaranteed moneys. What could possibly go wrong?

Spur

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fleshwound_NPG

“the nfl is about scoring points.”

if it wasnt every game would be 0-0 cris, stfu

Horatio Cornblower

Pretty sure it’s about hoovering up huge sums of money through rank hypocrisy.

Last edited 1 year ago by BrettFavresColonoscopy
Spur

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Horatio Cornblower

A dance so nice we’ve showed it twice.

This is not a complaint.

Spur

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Redshirt

Metlife Stadium, I call it a bakery because the Giants’ are serving turnovers left and right.

Spur

can i get a bear claw?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This game is going to be a bigger blowout than the German fetish night sponsored by fiber one.

WCS

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TheRevanchist

I took my Docalax at 5, and just downed my 14 doses of Miralax, for either 1) my endoscope and colonoscopy tomorrow morning, or 2) as a result of this game. I’m not sure which.

LemonJello

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fleshwound_NPG

dont even think mccarthy can fuck this up

he’ll try tho

Gumbygirl

I’m going to the pool, later gators.

Spur

Fuck Yeah. Dallas D does the NFL!!!!!!!!!

fleshwound_NPG

i see eli apple struggles to cover up off the field, too

ThePirateSloth

Since the Giants suck, let’s have Mike/Cris remember some things!!!

TheRevanchist

Let’s remember Kadarius Toney. A wonderful Giant, whose skill level is about the same as Danny Dimes.

JustStopDude

I don’t get advertising a car to consumers by showing that the people that use this car are idiots.

But then again, I don’t have a degree in advertising so what do i know.

Gumbygirl

My Youtube TV, that I literally never have trouble with, has crashed. I’m thinking it’s all the extra Sunday ticket people funneled into one game. My internet is fine. Shit.

Redshirt

It crashes for me too. Sadly that’s normal.