Enjoy your nap? GOOD. Because it’s time to up our couch potato game, yo.
Ballsy: I’m back! At first, I was going to complain about the distinct lack of West/Best Coast games in Hippo’s write-up, but then I realized that there aren’t any.
Seriously, it’s Washington-Arizona and that will be over by the first quarter.
LSU (-2.5) at Ole Miss (6:00, ESPN)
I love me some staggered kickoff times, even if it means running the night thread early. Sun is already setting earlier, you know? Can Johnny Reb FERGET HAYELL the disappointment in Tuscaloosa, and muddle up Brian Kelly’s path to the SEC West title? MAYBE.
Ballsy: What is it about SEC cheerleaders looking up?
Iowa State (+20) at Oklahoma (7:00, FS1)
To hell with logic, I have an itch in my gut about this matchup. Cornpone State can turn this one into a slog, and there’s no question Steerfuckers North is looking ahead to next week’s Derby. All the elements of an upset, or at least near-upset are there. OK, maybe it’s just gas. I am 50, after all.
Ballsy: Hey, I’m over 50 and my gas is delightful! I don’t know what you’re eating…
Michigan State (+11.5) at Iowa (7:30, NBC)
Highlighted mostly to note that NBC paid money – pretty big money – to air turds like this in primetime. First team to 2 wins.
Ballsy: Wait, why the fuck would NBC pay good any money to air medium-scale Big Ten games? Notre Dame ain’t going there…
West By God Virginia (+14) at TCU (8:00, ESPN2)
I had very much tuned out on BLOOD FOAR THE BLOODEYES GOD after they lost their opener to Deion Sanders. But they’ve three wins on the spin, and welcome a pluckier-than-recent-vintage Fuckers du Cousins squadron. With their defense, I expect the visitors to hang around and maybe even steal one late.
Ballsy: WCS will be watching this closely. If TCU pulls ahead, expect a royal decree outlawing the color purple.
Alabama (-14.5) at Mississippi State (9:00, ESPN)
Oh, this is danger central. Cowbells have not looked good offensively, I get it. But they CAN defend, and I am not sure at all that Roll Damn Tide have fixed their shit. A few turnovers, and this upset could very much be in play. This is also as close as one gets for Tweaker Time…which is good, given everyone’s MANDATORY duties starting 9:30 EST Sunday.
Ballsy: Seriously, go to bed early tonight. There’s nothing to watch. Or get drunk and ramble on here. I’m not your supervisor.
I think Travis Kelce is good for Taylor Swift. She’s a hard-driven businesswoman who stops at nothing to get to the top and protect her art, and Travis is a good-looking dipshit who’s really good at catching footballs, doing skits on SNL, and doesn’t seem to care about anything else.
Really, it’s a match made in heaven for the both of them.
Duke-Notre Dame in the Smug Bowl.
UConn and UMass play each other later this year and both Twitter fanbases seem to have agreed to call it the CUM Bowl.
U-CUM Bowl is even funnier
What a great day!
Got to go to two different memorials for friends who lost their parents. Nothing rips you up like seeing people you love in pain.
Then came home for an hour long fight with my son, and topped it off with seeing my parents – and offering my mother yet another solution to a care facility for my father. Which she soundly rejected.
Excuse me while I go out to burn down a few Wal Marts.
Sorry you had a bad day. Tomorrow will be better when we get to see the Swifties at the Jets.
I’m looking forward to the Ravens getting hammered by the Browns.
I’m looking forward to
the Ravensgetting hammeredby the Browns.Fixed that for you.
I am man enough to admit it. My Cornpone State pick…is not aging very well.
Michigan State made sure they hit that goal post better than any other team playing today. Good for them.
I let this cat get away with way too much shit. It’s not like it was anything all that irresistible in the bowl either; it was beans and rice.
Anything forbidden, they want. And they can’t let you think that maybe you were RIGHT to say they wouldn’t like it.
Mine demanded a big blob of spicy brown mustard earlier. He was mad at me after.
You’ve got a better chance of finding Waldo than you do seeing a Black fan in the stands in this game.
What are you doing at a Simsbury-Glastonbury volleyball game?
Setting screens against Matt Gaetz.
“This is like two basketball coaches calling time-outs to see what the inbound play is” in that it’s annoying as hell and really pretty pointless because it’s not like they’re not gonna change the play after you call time-out.
Doing shots with the Mrs and oldest and her friend
Strange times
Just splendid tackling.
Oh, and TCU gets the ball to start the second half.
It’s like every ball carrier is screaming “I have leprosy!” as soon as someone gets close.
This is other wise known as The Fozz Family motto.
No way LSU doesn’t win after the Ole Miss guy drops that.
JEEBUS, this game
Wait, is the winner or loser of this fixture relegated to the Big 12?
That’s enough from the Mayonnaise Gallery.
WHOA, #BastardMan is the grown-up version of Richard Gere from An Officer and a Gentleman? But he is neither officer NOR gentleman???
YES
A guy named Ulysses causing damage in Mississippi? What is this, Vicksburg?
LSU giving Mississippi State a light box right now, like the common streetwalkers they are!!!
THIS LSU DEFENSE I CALL IT A SCISSOR LIFT IN HIGH WINDS, BECAUSE IT’S GIVING WAY FAR TOO EASILY!!!
That kid went to the Deion Sanders Tackling Clinic
“We wanna let all the Alabama and Mississippi State fans know that the game is currently showing on ESPN News, and also that wearing shoes outside prevents hookworm.”
“And also that an occasional 1st-cousin marriage hasn’t been proven to cause any long term genetic defects.”
Totally cool.
Help them WCS. You’re their only hope.
I don’t recall WVU radio every being this quiet about an injury.
oh, NOW Brian Kelly is concerned that somebody might get hurt…
I wish Shan’Khlor’s disfavor of Duke was more context-based.
Quite honestly more referees, and umpires, should be pelted with trash after bad calls.
In México, it’s bags of urine.
As long as the officials know they’re wrong.
Duke quarteredbacks bonafides apparently include being nice, and not drinking. Wadda hell
Call stands. Kiffin verklempt.
HOLY SHITSNACKS, LSU
VAR may say otherwise!
VAR punts, what is a JV NFL catch???
Ole Miss reacts reasonably
as they is cotton to does
40-20…at the HALF?? Oh yeah, that’s BIG TWAAAALLLLVE
You Cover Zero blitz, you best get home.
LSU? Uh…they got home ok.
Speaking of major burns 🤭
And I guess hot lips?
At least his John didn’t get Trappered. Could have been worse!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EuRz2nGxGaQ&ab_channel=TheCombatarmshero
That’s the Brownsiest thing ever!
Major Burns with the tackle?
Seems unlikely at his age.
Mrs. Horatio and Daughter Horatio will be in the LA area next week at her father’s.
There is a better-than-minimal chance I’ll be calling in a DFO rescue posse at some point.
Excellent! For realsies, if they need anything while they’re here, let us know. We’ll be glad to help.
Mostly disonnecting a house from Fox News for about a week.
Parental controls for the win!
Her Dad’s an engineer of some sort. I’m thinking more along the lines of “shoot the satellite out of orbit”
Maybe LSD in the water supply?
That’ll work!
DFO SOCAL to the rescue!
“LA area” could include Bakersfield or Moreno Valley, so let’s hold off until we get deets.
Tustin, I think.
That’s deep Orange county so I’m terribly unable to help you.
Aw, fuck this.
“No, no, Mr. Kraft, he said chorin’.”
Holy cats, an actual BAH GAWD PUNT down Miss-sipp’ way
Fuck! Some evil doer frauded my debit card, now I have to go to Corona to get a new one- and I have some recurring bills on it that I’m sure will be “easy” to transfer to a new card. My fucking phone bill, youtube tv, sirius, not sure what else. Infuriating.
That evil doer isn’t our favorite, and we’ll tell everyone.
We have a favorite evildoer?
We have at least one globe-trotting assassin, so yes, yes we do.
Yeah, Scotchy doesn’t get out much.
More of a local threat, really.
Keep that kind of insolence up, and Dok’s going to have you visit the magma chamber…
Lane Kiffin sideline interview, so this is obligatory
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TvJy2Ot48M
It’s a pretty legendary bit, always cracks me up.
Easily his funniest bit ever
Part Deux
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4acayiZAHaM
It cracks me up the the phone is waaAy over there. Genius 🤣🤣🤣
They have a live band two houses down and it’s distrupting Calgon’s ability to take me away.
You wanna Karen-tattle on ’em, don’t ya?
Nah. I don’t mind it so much – it’s not even dark outside yet – but it’s not really “takin’ a bath” kind of music. It was actually quite welcome while I was doing yard work.
context is everything, chuh chuh. Should have told them you requested an Enya interlude or sommet
A few weeks ago my SIL’s neighbor had a band that was playing super weird music at high volume. She said it was creepy carnival sounding stuff, they even had a tuba player. The house it was coming from is the house that dude who was living there shot his girlfriend in the driveway when she came home one night late after ho’ing around with another dude. She lives in a nice neighborhood, that kind of stuff doesn’t happen there.
The problem with the B1G is that it has no middle class. Three very good programs, with dreck below it. Everyone but Vandy in the SEC is at least middle class. Allows for good TV options, even in the “depth” matchups.
The problem with the Big Twaaaaaalve is that it’s all middle class and nothing higher. Still good, but with a ceiling.
The problem with the ACC is that there is no reason for it to continue existing.
Which is why a 4-8 Notre Dame team “earns” the #3 seed in the Playoff.
The thing is, you have entire states involved in the B1G. Them fuckers in Nebraska and Iowa and the others love that football.
It’s everything to them.
I’ve been through Nebraska about 7 times and it still scares the shit out of me.
oh yeah, they deffo have good media markets. Just no natural talent base for those teams. SC, Oregon, Washington will be massive upgrades for the depth. You’d have to think even Westwood Klavern should do better than, say, Minnesota.
Absolutely. But them Iowa cornfed boys make really good O linemen and TEs.
Which is why the relegation idea is so good.
Somebody high up in a Group of Five conference said something about their teams getting no respect even though they are a part of FBS and I thought it was akin to a fat chick comparing herself to a Miss America contestant and saying, “I’m a blond woman too!”.
YES, we need JV NFL to become a true pyramid.
“‘Every time Mississippi loads the box, LSU is just abusing them….”
Deanna Favre, muttering to herself “at least somebody in this fucking state gets it.”
OK, so in the picture of Dak and the Mississippi State cheerleaders, whose hand is that on the shoulder of 2nd girl on the left? It ain’t Dak’s hand. It’s somebody’s left hand, but I’ll be goddamned if I can tell who. And don’t tell me it’s the girl on the far left, because elbows do not work like that.
I believe it’s the hand of the third girl from the left as she’s holding her friend tight so Dak can’t get to her.
Maybe? But I’m not sure her shoulder could manage that without being dislocated. Although she’s a cheerleader and 22 or younger, so she’s got flexibility I could only dream about.
Twenty Questions!!!
I’mma assume that “C. Davis” placement kicker for Johnny Reb must be the great-great-great-great-great grandson of Jefferson Davis. A name that uncommon, it almost has to be, yeah?
Did NAWT know Garrett Greene could do that.
55-17
Alright, let’s get this modern art disasterpiece started.
Balls’ LSU and ISU pics are just pure, heavenly perfection. They can mace me any day of the week, and twice on Sunday.
/just not THIS Sunday b/c my eyes must be saved for MANDATORY 14-hour duty
Ola pesoas! Como estash?
Joined in early for a change.
Lovely overcast day with a sputum of rain. Excellent walk today.
Back to work.
Balls, SEC cheerleaders are in their knees so much that looking up becomes an ingrained habit, and is necessary for them to find their future husband.
On their knees, and wtf is wrong with the edit button?
Insert “dog says I don’t know what I’m doing” gif.
I was not commenting too fast, just trying to edit.
That dog gif is meant for us on the maintenance of the site side.
We honestly don’t know what we are doing and why things happen like they do
We do?
Us (artist’s conception):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4mJP3AE6-Rs
You’re close. This is Chips in Hawthorne, just down the street from where the Pulp Fiction diner used to be (torn down long ago)
That’s close to work and where I used to live.
I used to get my chilis and pork shoulder at a Super Mercado across the street.
May the ghost of All Day watch over Chubb
¡Jesús! Was there anything in that knee left that wasn’t damaged?
I need #4thPill just thinking about it.
/trying to wait until 7
//always set REASONABLE goals, kids
You’re not getting to 5th pill with that schedule.
I’d hate for him to feel left out, GOOD POINT. And I am having a glass of carrot ginger juice now, so I’m obvi the pillar of good health…
Man, those inverted punctuation marks are so fun. ¡Muy divertido!
duro
His ACL remains intact and that’s something.
Still makes both of my knees creak thinking about it.
Actually, not. According to the pic Don T posted, Chubb will need a second surgery to fix his ACL.
Oh fucking hell. That’s a good 10-12 months.
“Nick Chubb has been humanely destroyed, and his remains will be cremated, then buried at the 20-yard line, as is mandated in the new agreement with the NFLPA.”
Right next to Barbaro.
WVU is about to eat a big ol’ turdburger.
To be FARE, Cal/Sparky ain’t too bad, but it’s hidden in the 3:30 window and also on the PAC-12 network (how sad must it be to work THERE). And their best game kicked off at 9a PST, though I didn’t expect that Mother of All Backdoor Covers.