Your Monday Night NFL Football Open Thread

Hey folks, this is your friendly neighbourhood fantasy flounderer coming at you the last time this week. I hope every one of you has made a poor decision recently like I have. Multiple ones, even! Let’s wrap this puppy up.

Fallout:

-I usually start off with injuries but I won’t go that route. I see Johnathan Taylor will be back at practice on Wednesday, absolutely nothing having been resolved and the air full of bad feelings on both side. Should be interesting the rest of the way.

-Russ Francis, a tight end for the Pats and then the Niners in the 70’s and 80’s died in a plane crash. He was a solid player but Ozzie Newsome and Kellen Winslow got the name recognition. Still, 5 of his 6 years on the Pats he was a top 11 te in fantasy and he won a few Super Bowls as well. Think of him as a Greg Olsen, Keith Jackson or Jeremy Shockey type-you were glad to have him on your team.

-Chase Claypool complained about his usage and now the Bears have little to no use for him. He was impressive as a rookie but it’s been all downhill sledding from then which is appropriate given that he’s a Canuck. (he learned to whine at Notre Dame-just want to make that clear)

-Arthur Smith is probably in a stronger position within the organization than it would appear to be because he’s insisting that Ridder is the starter next week. I guess he’s weighed the options and doesn’t want a qb kerfuffle by starting Heinicke but he could couch it in no uncertain terms by saying that Ridder needs a ‘re-set’ or somesuch.

To The Game!

Seahawks/Giants:

-Continuing issues on New York’s o-line (beyond injuries) is why you’ll see Dimes running around again. The Giants completely abandon the run game when Saquon is out so we’ll see a touch of Breida but not much.

-Besides, Seattle’s rush D is giving up 2.9 yards per but 7 yards thru the air on attempts. That and the ‘Hawks are down three corners.

-The visitor’s O doesn’t strike me as all that effective but they’ve only turned the ball over once, average 3 punts a game and excluding end of halves and games, they come away with points 65.5% of the time. That sort of efficiency wins games but doesn’t attract headlines.

-After three weeks the Giants are already sporting a -5 turnover differential. (I thought it would be slightly higher) Those missed tackles are piling up as well.

-I’m not surprised they’re 1-2 because I’ve said many times the early sked is a killer but they’ve been manhandled for 10 of 12 quarters. There’s a narrative creeping up that they’re on the soft side. Robinson was punched and another player was thrown to the ground after the whistle and the response by teammates was tepid. There’s a lot to criticize about how things are going and now ‘leadership within the team’ is being added to the list.

Enjoy the evening.

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Horatio Cornblower

Holy god, the Giants are not only really bad, they seem to be completely dysfunctional, too.

BugEyedBoo

I liked it when Daboll was squawking at Danny Dimes, and he was just ignoring him. Then a little later Daboll flung his Surface onto the bench.

Horatio Cornblower

In fairness to Dimes if I was in the middle of getting sacked 11 times I’d probably just fling the ball blindly down the field, too.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You misspelled “Raiders”.

Sharkbait

The side effect of showing the spouse the highlights of this open thread is me having to explain who Nina Hartley is and why I know who she is.

Brick Meathook

She was in Boogie Nights, a highly regarded Hollywood film. That’s the only place I’ve seen her, yet I know her history.

Horatio Cornblower

“Well you see, honey, she does porn, and I’m a guy, soooooooo….”

Brick Meathook

Dang, even Peyton & Eli were bored out of their skulls at the end.

fleshwound_NPG

look gints, a derpy-faced, turnover-prone quarterback might have worked in 2007 and 2011, but im afraid it isnt gonna work again

King Hippo

They really DO have a type…

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Oh good, I haven’t been able to fall asleep and Waller got a catch that fucks me in fantasy. Is Metcalf sitting or can I get a garbage time catch to retaliate?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Benwa

Sharkbait

Balls.

Mr. Ayo

Double digit sacks!

A proper tribute to Nina Hartley.

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Sharkbait

Mrs Sharkbait to Sharkbait 2.0: Let’s got change your diaper. If I’m gonna look at shit, might as well be your shit.

Brick Meathook

My old dog Frankie (1999-2011)

He was a good dog and my best friend. He was big yet gentle and everybody liked him.

Boxers usually die on cue at ten years of age, but Frankie lived to twelve. In his last weeks he slowed down, then one night he just went out on the front lawn to die. The poor guy was finished. We knew we had to put him down that night at 2 AM, which you can do in Los Angeles. When he saw the car (Andrea’s brand new black Lincoln MX) he perked up for the ride because he always loved motoring. I drove and Andrea sat in the back seat with him as I took a quick diversion by the beach that he loved, and his head was out the window smelling the sea. Driving down Santa Monica Blvd towards the 24-hour vet he suddenly died naturally in Andrea’s arms.

What a champ. He was born naturally in an alley in East L.A., and he died in the arms of a beautiful woman in the back seat of a very nice black car built by the Ford Motor Company, just like President Kennedy.

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Dunstan

Oh, so the Illuminati killed Frankie?

Brick Meathook

The Masons. I saw them.

Brick Meathook

He knew too much.

Sharkbait

During Jones’s last INT

Sharkbait 2.0: Massive wet fart sound
Mrs Sharkbait: Yes. Exactly.

Mr. Ayo

Worst Jones? Daniel or Mac?

fleshwound_NPG

Alex.

WCS

Laryssa Olenik on Third Rock From the Sun made teen-rage WCS very excited.

Gumbygirl

Horrible indeed, but my money’s on Jim.

Sharkbait

Yes.

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King Hippo

This is a slapfight I would enjoy watching.

Sharkbait

Live look at the giants on-line

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fleshwound_NPG

the giants have two speeds:

-random super bowl team
-division III team alabama schedules for cupcake saturday

WCS

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Sharkbait

Even Miss Hartley thinks Jones is getting pounded too much.

fleshwound_NPG

yea, needs to rest and relax, kick his feet up for a bit

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King Hippo

4th and 30, where is WCS

WCS

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I want nothing to do with this mess.

Mr. Ayo

3rd and 22?

NFL Blitz!

Sharkbait

Now I just need 1 Smith-Njigba catch. Praise be to Gamblor

King Hippo

It’s lovely to believe that Coach Carroll will attempt another forward pass.

Sharkbait

Isn’t it?

Sharkbait

Now bench Daniel Jones!

King Hippo

The swamp was angry, my (imaginary) friends

fleshwound_NPG

beautiful.

Mr. Ayo

SUDDEN CHANGE!

Sharkbait

Go for it!

King Hippo

I think if you remove the opponent’s head, they should pick up the facemask flag. WHO’S WITH HIPPO?

Mr. Ayo

Hippo has been fined by the NFL for criticizing the refs.

SonOfSpam

Janay Rice apologizes for Hippo’s comment

Sharkbait

My OTA signal is cutting in and out. I think it’s trying to save my eyeballs from this game.

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

— B. Walsh

Gumbygirl

Youtube tv should have a moment of zen channel. I would watch the hell out of it.

LemonJello

THIS GUY DANNY DIMES, I CALL HIM FRESH FISH BECAUSE THESE SEAHAWKS ARE EATING HIM UP!

Sharkbait

“Watch this hole”

–N. Hartley

fleshwound_NPG

“watch it carefully…”

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LemonJello

Lots of good people die every day and yet Berman is still wasting oxygen. Just doesn’t seem fair.

King Hippo

/nods in Henry Kissinger

Sharkbait

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Gumbygirl

What the fuck? Why was that?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Well this is the biggest 11 point lead I’ve ever seen and I have to wake up early so…fuck it.

King Hippo

You’ll wake up and see it ended 46-45!

(but ok, it is NOT mandatory)

LemonJello

Do points triple in the 2nd half?

fleshwound_NPG

whatever was the point in that

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Pete Carroll–existentialist

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Look, I’m not saying he’s the long term answer, but Tyrod Taylor is definitely better than what we’ve seen from Daniel Jones this season. Why have him on the roster at all if this isn’t enough to get him off the bench?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sharkbait, quit just liking this comment and get Mrs. Sharkbait to formally reply.

Sharkbait

She says subscribe.

But (praise be to gamblor) he needs 12 more rushing yards before his benching.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How long did it take her to remember when you told her she’s met me?

Sharkbait

Fairly quickly. She asked if we’d met you before.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Eli asking what the difference is between a cloud and a shell proves he’s really Rikki’s version.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I would have thought all those hours he spent playing Super Mario Bros. would have taught him that.

ThePirateSloth

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LemonJello

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Sharkbait

Give it to Walker!

LemonJello

This shitshow is an insult to shitshows throughout history.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

“I don’t mind cover 2, but when you play cover 2, you still have to tackle.”

Best thing Peyton has said since “Cut that meat!”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Lol. The Mannings are as shocked as Petey about that play.

King Hippo

oh my, Gigantes

Mr. Ayo

The most unexpected TD ever.

HOX!!!

Mr. Ayo

Nevermind. That’s coming back.

Gumbygirl

I love this forest moment of zen.

Redshirt

My dad gave up on this game. He suffers through ALS, but still goes to work every day and still tries to do things for himself. If anything, he is redefining the word “strength” every damn day.

But this game is too much suffering for him to put up with.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Banner

LemonJello

Did Geno just get all the pain killers or just most of the pain killers?

Sharkbait

I think I just heard the unmistakable sound of a hippo speeding up 95 to the Jersey Turnpike

“IT’S EXIT 16W KING!”

King Hippo

This fixture just got amazing.

Gumbygirl

The best thing that happened so far was when Peyton got pissy when Eli was talking while he was trying to demonstrate a play on his weird fake field. He got very pouty, lol!

Sharkbait

DREW LOCK SIGHTING!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I take it back, it is not a drill.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

When you said “impact driver” I thought you were talking about Britt Reid.

LemonJello

Nina Hartley also perked up at “impact driver.”

LemonJello

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LemonJello

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Both Eli and PeyPey look like they’ve eaten a LOT of glue tonight.

King Hippo

Imagine how tubby Brian (I stress eat) Daboll will be by December.

Gumbygirl

.

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Sharkbait

One wafer thin mint Mr. Daboll?