This is the first of three bye weeks that K.C. will get. (they’ve beaten Denver 15 times in a row) This just makes the voices that say that the league favors the Chiefs, shout that much louder. As a lover of all bleak things, our Hippo must be in his element.
Tidbits:
-Toxic Fuckers Update-Mikey Bidwill’s PR team said all the properly contrite crap when news of his love of burner phones, screaming at pregnant women and making players pay for their own meals was made public. Meanwhile, the team has gone after the person who made these allegations.
-Walt Garrison, an rb for the Cowboys in the 70’s passed away at 79. I remember the thing about him was that he did rodeo work (bull wrestling) in his spare time even after he was warned by Coach Landry not to do so. How did his career come to an end? He busted up his knee trying to bring 3/4’s of a ton of ornery beef to the ground. Smart fella.
To The Game!
Dead Horses/Chiefs:
-Kelce will play. Also, Denver gets Dulcich back!
-Proppage Alert: Though he doesn’t get a lot thrown his way, Justin Watson’s yardage prop is 20.5. He averages 22.5 yards a catch and his aDOT is 23+. All it takes is one shot.
-Denver’s rush D is allowing 28 fantasy points per game to opposing backfields so Pachinko looks ok tonight. Overall that D gives up 7 yards per play.
-Payton’s swipe at Hackett seems more and more like something an out-of-touch coach would say. It hasn’t aged very well at all. That’s what happens when you try to stand on the shoulders of giant(s) failures.
-Them Broncs are surprisingly 1st in the league in blown 4th quarter leads. Why surprising? Who had them leading in the 4th quarter anyway?
-Despite their success K.C. has issues at the wr spot-Toney, MVS and Moore have all come up small so far this year. Well, come on down…Justyn Ross? Hey, he caught a couple of passes the other week and he splashed in preseason.
Do your thing.
Got pork chili verde in the oven. This is not a great after-work meal. It might be done by the end of the game. I’m starving.
Only way that’s ready inside of two hours is with a pressure cooker.
I want #ShamePizza, but I have an 11a work call and I can’t risk shitting all morning.
Is there some reason you can’t take the call from the toilet?
it has been done before, but my mic will have to be live for most of the 45 minutes
I can’t believe Zoom doesn’t have some sort of audio filter for that yet
I have ordered Mrs. Fozz to create the following breakfast for the Ravens’ early Sunday game:
1 lb of bacon
A swiss mushroom omelet
Italian spicy sausage (she needs to grill these)
Home fries to be cooked with onions, peppers, and hot sauce
Waffles shaped like the Ravens logo, the eyes should be made of chocolate chips
Pancakes (see above for preparation directions)
Three gallons of Bloody Mary and a handle of Tito’s
Fresh squeezed orange juice
Coffee: the beans must be ground by hand
Bagels with fresh lox and cream cheese with chives
Lobster mac and cheese
God help her if she forgets the salt and pepper shakers shaped like Terrell Suggs’ head
That’s like the BEST QUARTER of FITBAW we dun played all season!
So apparently walking around with a heavy backpack is a sport now. It’s called “rucking” and it seems I’ve been a practitioner for years
Anyone in the military who has gone through basic training would like to have a word with people who practice this “sport”
DOK: [shows up at fella’s house with a giant heavy backpack] Ready to do some sport rucking, just like you proposed!
FELLA: [glances at phone] Damned typos.
I got paid to do that for a few years. I have the bad knees and fused vertebrae to prove it!
the nfl football games taylor swift and swifties, a potential gold mine of a fan base, have witnessed
Swifties just care that Tay Tay has a good time.
Just think, Swifties. If you can withstand THIS, you will be ready FOAR 14 HOURS OF MANDATORIUM GLORY!
“Just stunning how the writers dropped the ball when scripting this season!”
-D. Murray
As long as they do some closeups of the dudes with the best asses I think it’ll be fine
That would be a killer alternate broadcast. #AssVision!
This being America, land of the stupid, I can only think that somewhere, somehow, some fuckbag will sport a Halloween costume that’s based on the current situation in Israel.
God I hope I’m wrong.
Narrator:”He was not wrong.”
I can just see it, some drunk college fuck.
I’d bet on State Senator.
Same difference.
Why would you show us a reaction shot of a random female Chiefs fan who ISN’T Taylor Swift?
Oh hey, good job horsies!
We followed up with a firsted down and everything!
Good Safety Dance position!
excellent punt
Throw it to Richie Rice!
the other 90% of those vids are posted on twitter https://www.axios.com/2023/10/12/mcmahon-misinformation-cbs-deep-fakes-bfd
Just show us more Taylor Swift. I want to know how she reacts to 1st down 3-yard runs.
Jesus, no need to cover #87 guys
“Hmm, we haven’t been doing very well when we try to cover the other team’s good players. Let’s try something new!”
You’re watching? Oh, Jesus, Hippo, why are you doing that to yourself?
Because AH HATE MYSELF, duh!!!
You don’t have to justify #4thpill to anyone.
GOOD, he was delish
broncos country
I remember when Disney didn’t care
Russ is cookin’, lol!
He’s cooking dishwasher chicken.
“Can I get that recipe?”
-J. Tomsula holding a crumpled paper cup and a pencil nub.
Monkeys are the best
Is this the Fozz residence basement?
No, they’re usually a lot drunker and there’s way more feces on the ceiling, but they’re okay guys
I’m starting a go fund me and raising $100,000 for a defensive player to put his helmet square in Kelce’s crotch.
“A Bounty?”
-S. Payton
“Why are my ears burning?”
Saw my first Xmas ad. Doordash, consider yourself boycotted!*
*I do not have access to Doordash
My kids ordered Doordash exactly once, after I saw the cost I was like Archie Bunker at a Black Lives Matter rally
I’ll bet you were lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert.
Hey, maybe Lavar Burton enjoys atonal mu—oh, Merle Haggard.
/It’s an excuse to post this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzodB0Sp6ZI
I get free doordash credit, nawt willing to turn down free food even if they are horrible
I emailed both of sisters and told them I was washing my hands regarding the search for memory care facilities for my father. I feel much better.
broncos country
She now is at an assisted living facility by the name of Broken Back Mountain.
There’s a good chance that lady died, just like the Broncos playoff hopes!
That’s why you don’t put hydraulics on your horse!
Donks took a timeout because Russ needed to know if the tush push abided with the good word.
just take the FG and avoid the clean sheet
KC Defense trying the old “Lucy holding the football” gambit before pulling it away as Denver does a Charlie Brown and lands flat on their back.
Except, in this case, Lucy is Ed Norton in American History X.
Looking at those Chiefs unis, all I can think about is a big plate of fries. Just like Andy Reid!
Maybe this is the year the Ice Bills end the longest playoff drought in pro sports…looks at score…maybe not.
LAMAR SUCKS FIRE HARBAUGH THIS IS LIKE GREG ROMAN WHY AREN’T WE UNDEFEATED? WHERE ARE MY FUCKING BLACK AND PURPLE CAMOS?
Just a sampling of the idiot Ravens fans this week
I wonder what happened to Nanobubbles?
Oh good, they’re talking about Kelce.
Karn Evil 9? Nice.
Emerson Boozer, Carnell Lake, and Carson Palmer
Goddammit, and I wasn’t even here.
/Obligatory “Touch and Go” MNF bit!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAm1QcqxlYU
a moment of silence for the part in the book of revelation that, as per us policy, we are expected to follow next
Moment of silence followed by the tomahawk chop chant.
I’m here for it.
In honor of the Australian referendum no doubt
Fuck no I will not join you in a moment of silence because you’re the NFL and I hate the half-assed attempt to pretend you have compassion for human beings
Are you forgetting about pink month??? Or the rezpekt the troopz?
They’ve really scaled back Pinktober
Welp. The NFL just made peace in the Middle East possible with that moment of silence. Good work,everyone!
“peace in the middle east” endzones for all!
goes with a color rush Ribbon
If anyone can unite Israelis and Palestinians it’d be the Rog in their consensus hatred of him.
New Minister of Peace in the Middle East, Gary Bettman!
This game is going to be an abomination. Send a carrier pigeon if anything interesting happens.
TayTay getting into a slapfight with Ciara would break the internet!
denver cannot have more than two good things at once. ice donks and hardcourt donks are incredible talents.
donks and dirtbaw donks play with wish.com xbox controllers
The official steering mechanism of OceanGate, Inc.
shame kelce is playing. had he been out, the swifties would render field turf to the dustbin of history
My good friend has half his family in Israel right now. Sucks.
Where does Ms Swift actually live? She must be expecting a really kickass song out of Kelce to get her to repeatedly hang out in Kansas City. I feel like she’s probably not super into BBQ so there’s no other reason for her to be there
I want to see him do that in front of the lady-ref
She is really big into the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art.
trapped in Andy Reids gravitational field
Older hippies should be clubbed and boiled alive in patchouli oil.
Sooo, you aren’t in on DFOCon tours with Phish?
Noted.
BAH GAWD, that’s the Cuntler bat-signal
I would rather have my balls barbecued over a fire that go watch that piece of shit band.
The fumes that would come off that oil vat….ugh
mainly due to the sellouts theyve become
Like commercials for reverse mortgages with Wavy Gravy
Cousinfucker QB just have himself back spasms. But rubbed sum dirt on it.
Dirt mixed with horse pain killers.
He’s hellbent on giving himself CTE before 30.
sheeeit fahr, they’d make that boy governor then!
I feel like he doesn’t have a lot of “back muscle” to spasm
BRONCOS COUNTRY LET’S ______________
a. Die
b. Cry
c. Sigh
d. All of the Above
a. Done
b. See (a)
c. No goddamned point
d. YES
e. Fly (Off a Cliff)
Like Thelma and Louise, but without the implied lesbianism
I really wish homosexuality was a choice like all those idiots seem to think. I would go lesbian in a second, it would make life so much easier
and no man would “choose” to be gay, it’s just so much damned work!
Boobies are great. That’s why men would not choose to be gay and why we celebrate lesbians. They appreciate boobies just like we do!
Sing Kajagoogoo’s Too Shy
e. tank
Knowing them, they’ll screw up tanking and take the final wild card spot only to be destroyed by the 2-seed.
Shit the bed?
Cousinfucker foobawl radio (yes, we have the magic talky box in the holler) said during pregame that the Mountaineers haven’t allowed a kick return for touchdown in six seasons.
/JV 500s take first kick for 101-yard TD
(WCS is Marge in this “artist’s rendering)
Fate (to a phone with hysterical anguish crying on the other end): “I am so sorry, but you have to understand, Honey. I’m only human. I can only takes so much tempting.”
You can’t be surprised when it happens.
So what would be worse for Denver: getting murderdeathkilled by the ICan’tBelieveItsNotARacialStereotype or beating the Chiefs and staying with Wilson and limp to 5-12 season.
Bets on R. Rice for punch one in, it’s what Jannay would want.
“Rashee” is the sound an elevator door makes as it tries to close on an unconscious woman’s head.
THERE IS A LIGHT AND IT NEVAR GOES OUT
Either tonight’s theme is quotes or Hippo has gone bye-bye.
#TwoThings
Everyone is here for WVU-JV 500s, right?
I am watching and hoping for Dana to get his arsehole inverted
(for some reason I don’t find Donks’ pre-game commentary appealing)
I remember Walt Garrison from the Skoal commercials. Ah, the good old days, when we kids could dream of emulating our heroes’ ability to stick a pinch between our cheek and gum.
such an awesome car, and an even better/underrated driver
fucker was a title contender in his 50s
Who is that, Dripp Cuntworhy?
Richard “Dick” Fitswell
He was such a redneck
His neme sounds familiar. Mebbe that was why.
Here’s one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bujZejNPpXg&ab_channel=BargainBinCinema