Reasonably OK Evening Slate Open Thread

Universe apparently thinks we’ve suffered enough.  But not Hippo – fuck that guy, he’ll watch his team lose to Duke (8:00 on ACCN if interested – and you ain’t) and learn to LIKE IT.

Ballsy: Losing to Duke is not good. However, beating Duke in the 1990 NCAA National Championship by a record margin is SO SWEET!

Kansas State (+1.5) at Texas Tech (7:00, FS1)

Guns Up! again.  But it’s West Texas, do they ever really go DOWN?  Though one is supposed to call one’s doctor after 4 hours.  Assuming one is some kind of PUSSY.

Ballsy: Any excuse to post this picture. I really like this outfit:

Arizona (+8) at Washington State (7:00, PAC-12)

How massive a let down will Bear Down FOAR Midterms have after letting the Troi Boiz off the hook last Saturday?  Apparently not much, says Vegas.  Hippo says bet the absolute monkeyfuck out of Wazzu here.  The Pacific NW might have the three most prolific (or at least fun) passing attacks in Oregon, Washington, and Wazzu.

Ballsy: I agree on betting Wazzu. Zona is going to get rolled. Also, WHERE MY COUGETTES AT??

Auburn (+11) at LSU (7:00, ESPN)

Yeah, it’s his first season On the Plains – but I don’t think it’s ever safe/wise to go 0-3 in SEC play.  Not in that state full of lunatics.  Brian Kelly would also gladly kill your kid (on a scissorlift or otherwise) to get a win here, too.

Ballsy: Am I the only one that remembers when Auburn was good at football? Bo Jackson is rolling over in his proverbial grave. He’s still alive, right?

Wyoming (+10.5) at Air Force (7:00, CBSSN)

What does Brokeback’s alma mater have to do to get a little RESPEK?  Beating Guns Up! and Fresno won’t do, apparently.  They need to travel east and fuck up the Zoomies.  Which they’ll do tonight (bet it and don’t forget to tip your waitstaff).

Ballsy: Wyoming is indeed sneaky good. Take the points.

Southern Cal (+3) at Notre Dame (7:30, NBC)

Troi Boiz – again – ain’t got no defense.  The as-always-overrated Potato Famine Krew ain’t got no offense to speak of.  Sommet’s gotta give.  Watch it end like 15-13.

Ballsy: For teh Hippo:

UC-Los Angeles (+3.5) at Oregon State (8:00, Fox)

Do not adjust your dial, this matchup truly is worthy of Fox primetime.  It’s basically the inverse of UW/UO, in that two nasty, physical defenses will pound the shit out of one another for 3 hours.  I have to think that DJ Ukelele and the Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice Beaver home crowd make the difference in a close one.  Because Chip Kelly can get right fucked.  And put on a manzierre already, there are kids watching FFS.

Ballsy: I am still pissed that UCLA did not admit my niece. Go Beavs!!

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Horatio Cornblower

I’m convinced Pee Wee Herman wrote this song.

Horatio Cornblower

Chip Kelly hasn’t been this upset about so many false starts since 1/6/21.

Horatio Cornblower

“Whatever Chip Kelly’s got in his hip pocket….”

I’ll take “Henry Ford’s Unfortunate Later Writings” for $800, Alex.

Horatio Cornblower

Announcer saying the UCLA receiver dropped that ball seems kinda mean, considering the receivers kidneys were sent flying in the other direction the second the ball went flying.

Horatio Cornblower

Some soccer writer from the Washington Post was bitching about US-Germany having to be in East Hartford, probably because he couldn’t expense his Manhattan hookers. Fuck him, it’s because crowds like this show up.

https://twitter.com/UConn_GolfHat/status/1713346095244324878

Horatio Cornblower

I haven’t seen bad calls against the Beavers like this since that time I was getting a private dance at the Electric Blue.

yeah right

I had a fool proof plan going into today:
Start with a massage and then some soup dumplings.

Ít did not disappoint.

Horatio Cornblower

Sounds like DeShaun Watson, but without the dumplings and with a lot more sexual assault.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

With a nasty gash?

Gumbygirl

Gaping hole.

Redshirt

Kink-dot-com is really branching out genre wise.

Redshirt

I’ve only seen the past two plays, but from what I can see, USC’s Offensive Line hates their QB and is actively trying to get him killed.

WCS

Just getting ready for his future as an Arizona Cardinal.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

He was raging at them in the first half. I can’t believe USC is going to lose to Notre Dame and give the BCS committee an opportunity to move them back into the top 10.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ugh I keep forgetting about early Sunday football. Pick 3:

DJ Moore v Min
Mattison @ Chi
Olave @ Hou
Christian Kirk vs Indy
Rachad White v Det

yeah right

I’ll give you Olave and Moore.
Then it’s your call.

WCS

Notre Dame is going to be retroactively declared national champion for the past decade now.

Horatio Cornblower

I was just watching an interaction between a CSU linebacker, (who was about to get tossed for targeting), and a water boy who clearly worshipped him. Reminded me of when my son was a JV baseball player his sophomore year and got called up to varsity for some emergency. He played well, and the next day one of THE varsity players, (played pro ball in Europe later), sees him in the hallway and says “Hey, nice game, Dan.” My son says “My name is (not Dan)”

Without missing a beat the other kid says “shut the fuck up, Dan.”

I thought it was hilarious, my son just figured he’d go by Dan for the rest of his baseball career, and my brother had to be persuaded not to go to the next practice and murder the other kid.

And in all fairness when they had tryouts the next year that kid made good and damn sure that my son made varsity.

Horatio Cornblower

It’s a culture unto itself, that’s for sure.

I can still hear cleats clicking on pavement as teams walked from one field to another at various tournaments.

yeah right

For Hippo,

Their newest stuff.

This song works.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0QaefDV7cb8

yeah right

How long is the drive from Hippo Cave to Vegas?

yeah right

Much easier in a car than a plane.
You can pack your own snacks and stop when you need to pee.

Does require commitment though.

For the drive back.

Horatio Cornblower

THIS NOTRE DAME DEFENSE I CALL THEM A GIFT HORSE, BECAUSE THEY ARE FUCKING UP TROJANS.

WCS

I got a nap, the Ice Stillers nuked the Ice Stamps, and fresh cup of coffee.

MIDDLE AGE DAD ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED

Horatio Cornblower

Is your lawn mowed?

Gumbygirl

Pitt beat Louisville. I’m sure you’re thrilled

Horatio Cornblower

THIS CALEB WILLIAMS I CALL HIM 1929, BECAUSE HIS STOCK IS DROPPING!!

scotchnaut

I’m done. See you at 9:30am you pathetic bastards fellow heroes of the internet!

yeah right

Sleep well you king of Northern Ontario you relentless dispatcher of hobos.

Brick Meathook

Thank you for being my best friend, Scotchy.

I can’t wait to murder a hobo have a drink with you.

Horatio Cornblower

Wow. That slate of televised NFL games tomorrow makes me think it might be time for a brewery tour instead.

LemonJello

Never a bad idea, that.

LemonJello

So, are we rooting for a ND 2nd half collapse or for USC to continue to get their shit pushed in?

Horatio Cornblower

Yes.

Brick Meathook

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scotchnaut

Caleb has the lack of pocket awareness of a battle-scarred Danny Dimes.

Horatio Cornblower

He’ll make a great first round pick for the Patriots next year.l

Brick Meathook

Because USC is such an NFL QB factory

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I mean, that’s fair.

–Matt L., Mark S., Matt B., Todd M…

Brick Meathook

John David Booty!

TheRevanchist

Mark Sanchez was the best the Jets have done in the draft thus far. So they may be first in line to jump on this broken train.

Brick Meathook

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scotchnaut

Oh hey Caleb, maybe don’t throw the ball up for grabs when you’re scrambling out of the pocket.

LemonJello

USC’s QB tanking his season so he won’t get drafted next year?

scotchnaut

I’m currently eating Chef Boyardee ravioli (for the first time in 25 years) because God doesn’t exist but childhood memories are forever.

yeah right

How is it?

I used to add paprika and garlic powder to mine back in high school.

Even then.

scotchnaut

I add pepper and corn. The first few bites are fantastic, the rest tastes like my parents not coming home until 6pm.

Last edited 1 year ago by scotchnaut
LemonJello

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scotchnaut

Shut up! They expressed their love in different ways!

yeah right

Dude, Stauffers French bread pizza.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My taste buds agree, but the charred remains of the roof of my mouth maintain their objection.

yeah right

My dentist called it Pizza mouth.

Horatio Cornblower

That secret ingredient in that sauce was napalm, and you cannot convince me otherwise.

Horatio Cornblower

I knew you guys wouldn’t let me down, and that this would be posted right below.

Brick Meathook

You should go for Chef Boyardee Beefaroni for some real old school thrills.

In 2018, Barbara Lippert of Advertising Age compared the 1966 Young & Rubicam ad for Beefaroni to The 400 Blows and running of the bulls. The ad features a large group of children running through Venice singing, “Hooray…for Beefaroni!”

Brick Meathook

If you’re old enough to remember this commercial. It used to play on Saturday mornings:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=euo086SUjls

Gumbygirl

I am old enough. Really, the whole aging thing can stop right now.

yeah right

I am here to reaffirm that “The Man Who Would Be King” is still an incredible fucking movie.
Just finished watching. Thanks morning crew.

Horatio Cornblower

Poor Peachy.

yeah right

God’s holy trousers!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I don’t remember those lyrics…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FDc2xFjVerI

BrettFavresColonoscopy

My white person card is renewed for another year, went apple picking today.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not if you’re from Connecticut, ours are lifetime memberships.

yeah right

Have you scheduled your hay ride for the holidays?

scotchnaut

Ducking out of a hayride because I ran out of my allergy medication is the whitest thing I’ve ever done.*

*Ok, the 2nd whitest. Sharing that story with strangers online is the whitest thing I’ve ever done.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We’re going next week!

Brick Meathook

Now go get an interest free mortgage, from your firm.

yeah right

If you don’t get that Tru-Coat you’re gonna get oxidation.

LemonJello

Give child Hippo a heads up on opiates?

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LemonJello

Vitamin O!

Horatio Cornblower

It’s got what plants crave!

Brick Meathook

Am I really seeing this on NBC?

LemonJello

I think Jason Garrett may be having a stroke while trying to string a coherent sentence together.

LemonJello

Did the planned booth team get food poisoning or missed their connecting flight? Garrett and Collinsworth couldn’t have been the 1st choice.

Brick Meathook

Joe Montana, speaking on NBC on behalf of Guiness, pleading with the Irish to drink responsibly. Ha! (Trojans fans are coked up)

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Celebrity sightings at Notre Dame! Joe Montana and Brady Quinn!

Brick Meathook

If you like Collingworth as a color commentator , you’ll love him as play-by-play man.

LemonJello

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Brick Meathook

Turns out it’s his kid.

ballsofsteelandfury

I played golf today (badly), experienced the slight darkening of the eclipse (very nice), and just saw a great college football game finish (very very nice).

The day is looking up.

LemonJello

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Game Time Decision

Cut the grass today, hopefully for the last time this year. But hate raking more than cutting the lawn, so may cut it again to not rake

LemonJello

Garret and Even Shittier Collinsworth are announcing the ND/USC game? Fuck and NO!

Mr. Ayo

NEVER A DOUBT. BOW DOWN.

Mr. Ayo

BOW DOWN!

Also, that’s a very lovely set of pics Balls.

LemonJello

Is Maria Taylor the only female talent on NBC’s payroll?

Mr. Ayo

Melissa Stark is there too

And Jak Collinsworth

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

They’re probably still paying out some settlements from when Matt Lauer was there, does that count?