Enough of those silly games overseas. What’s wrong with the USA besides almost everything? (I kid) Fantasy monkeys call this a ‘Bye-mageddan’, being the silly people we are. Six teams are taking a break and they are Cincy, Dallas, the Titans, the Jets, Carolina and Houston.
To The Games!
Browns/Colts:
Deshaun’s status as questionable covers a helluva lot of ground. His rotator cuff is trending as mending so my guess is that he’s behind center. Cleveland probably won’t need much from him given that his D (phrasing) has risen to the occasion. They are top 5 in pretty much every category except for turnovers. Moss and JT should get bottled up and I don’t think Minshew has enough weapons at wr to get the job done.
Bills/Pats:
The rot on offense runs deep in N.E. Remember when the hiring of Bill O’Brien was going to fix all those problems? Naive times indeed for Pats fans. Rb Stevenson somehow has -85 yards rushing over expectation and three ball snatchers are in the bottom five according to a metric that tracks their ability to gain separation. Not helping? The D has a mere 3 turnovers to date.
Commies/Giants:
Howell looks to be a good streaming option today so he’s a temp on my Freezer Vodka team. The Giants are bottom 10 in yards allowed per attempt and TD’s allowed thru the air. Dimes didn’t take any reps all week so Tyrod is a go.
Lions/Ravens:
He’s playing really well but things are lining up against Goff-away on the road, outside, vs a team that brings a ton of pressure and has the most sacks. And it’s not as though it’s one guy wracking them all up, the 24 sacks are distributed among 11 players. If Detroit gets the W they’ll be 6-1 for the first time since 1956. Standing in the way is Lamar’s record against the NFC-15-1.
Raiders/Bears:
So curious to see what a Bagent looks like in a collapsing pocket. This might end up being The (Maxx) Crosby Show, minus the mind-erasing elixirs. Davante Adams should get back on track target-wise after complaining about his workload. One issue. Who’s throwing him the ball-my vote goes to AOC (Aidan O’Connell). His critics say that he’s a bunny-hugger off the field so I think Hoyer’s the dude today.
Falcons/Bucs:
Ridder threw for 300 yards last week! (he also tossed 3 picks) But wait! Tampa didn’t score an offensive TD or generate a turnover last week! Still, did anyone expect either of these squadoos to be .500 or better at this juncture? Arthur Smith’s ‘run all day and play solid defense’ is being undermined by their -6 turnover differential. Safety Bates is doing all he can with 3 picks and 2 forced fumbles but he’s just one guy.
Do your thing.
If I’m Browns, I’m calling a run play on 3rd down and a 4th down play if you don’t make it.
Well, they finally listened to you
I didn’t know Peoples-Jones can jump 20 feet in the air.
Why were they reviewing a penalty?
JR: “Good God, King! That’s BLEERGH’s music!”
No Chance in Hell (Mr. McMahon) – YouTube
Why are the Colts wearing Boise State’s uniforms?
Oh geez, the giants and football team can’t even victory formation right. Sad.
they never practice it
That’ll do, Clots. That’ll do.
Gotta love good enough
The AFC in 2023
“Good enough is good enough.”
Well, I’m out of eliminator.
For the winner, may the fleshlight only be gently used.
Allen taking the sack on the last play is Darnold-esque to the nth degree.
Is WFT aware they need a TD and not just a FG?
Aware? Sure. Capable? Ehhhhhhh
I’m not sure on either
Oh Buffalo, smgdh
The Pauls with the best arm punt (2 yard line)
Pauls arm punt setting up a potential Clots safety dance…
Way to slightly avoid fucking it up Buffalo!
You spoke too soon.
Table Crunch Push Play doesn’t work for the Bills.
Clots-Pauls is just Plaid Levels of disasterpiece art.
So just settled in on the couch and what the fuck?
Holy Shit! Allen trying to make my prediction come true by throwing a ‘free for all ball’ into the endzone while being tackled.
I have been busy all day and just checked the scores, and I have to say “What The Fuck?”.
we’re entering the yearly part of the schedule where things randomly fuck up a bunch (this is usually when if the greatriots started 5-0 or something theyd get a random loss, usually at miami)
In fairness that’s been the entire season.
*takes long drag from cigarette* im in hoyer country
The Pauls!
This seems like a great time to take a selfie for internet dating, very little sleep, lotsa ok beer, kinda angry at vauge things, and wearing a slightly slutty Bears tshirt
And what the hell are the cardinals thinking with the red sea reference? Are they being antisemitic by comparing themselves to Moses and then just sucking enough to offend god itself?
what are the bears wearing on this shirt, and where can I buy one?
usually leather?
Slightly slutty Bears t-shirt can be interpreted a couple of ways.
That is nature’s way
/Bills with the ball down 5 with 5 minutes left to go.
Will they win because Josh made an amazing athletic play or will they lose because Allen bone-headed a thing? There is no in-between.
Duck duck goose tackle by the giants
*sits down to watch fitbaw, turns on Loins/DirtyBirds*
…wow. Really?
*checks game stats*
…wow. Really.
*garbage time Loins TD, they go for two*
…yeah, really.
At the very least my Goff prediction was bang on.
Well crap. Slightly revived by getting home and getting angry at my various devices for not doing as they are told dammit
Did you flog them with old usb/charging cables? If that doesn’t work, crushing an Echo Dot in front of them while it is talking usually does the trick.
Howell just threw a glorious pick six to Thibadeaux. The only problem? He didn’t catch it.