Your Multi-Tilt Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

We’ve four games in the late slate and some are promising and others…not so much.

To The Games!

Browns/Seahawks:

Ford had a good practice on Thursday so he’s expected to get some run where points will be at a premium. (but what do I know [looks at Saints/Colts 1st half score]) P.J. Walker is burning down the Browns O with his no TD passes, 3 INT’s and 50% completion rate. This bodes ill vs a Seattle defense that has become a force. Browns cb Ward is doing his part-he has an outstanding -.19 EPA per coverage snap.

Ravens/Cards:

The spread is 9.5 and the Cards top three rushers are Conner (injured) Dobbs (scrambling for his life) and Rondale Moore. (a tepid wr) Congrats, the tank rolls on successfully. The only lingering question is if Baltimore can get their first shutout in five years.

Chiefs/Broncos:

Rookie Rice continues to come on strong, catching 13 of his last 15 targets, scoring a pair of TD’s and earning Patty’s trust. He’s got Tyreek-like run and catch ability as evidenced by his YAC numbers. K.C.’s D is sneaky good but only vs the pass. Denver has to attack on the ground (they are well-suited to do so) vs a team that is 26th in yards allowed per rush. (4.6) Patty is 16-0 on the road against the AFC West which is insane.

Bengals/Niners:

San Fran should be happy to be back home, having lost two straight on the road. Problem is Cincy and their dangerous passing game is in town. I’d have to agree with Chase-he’s uncoverable. Purdy escaped the concussion protocol by the skin of his skull so he’ll be out there. Burrow is as healthy as he’s been and he always shows up for big games-he’s 12-3 vs teams that are at least three games over .500.

Make the best of it.

 

 

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Redshirt

We can’t do anything easy, can we Bengals.

fleshwound_NPG

the bangles always have a way to make things harder than usualcomment image

fleshwound_NPG

aw fuck off internet embeddening. must i do it all myself

susanna-guitar.jpg
Mr. Ayo

? The first one works just fine. Although I’ve got no complaint about seeing it twice.

Mr. Ayo

They’ve totally got this.

jjfozz

If the Chiefs lose, will Taylor Swift break up with Kelce?

Redshirt

No, but the Chiefs may put her on the coaching staff so she has to be at every game.

fleshwound_NPG

1.call swift
2.replace nagy with her
3.profit

ThePirateSloth

FUCK YES

Mr. Ayo

Speaking of which. HOX!

Mr. Ayo

Never a doubt!

ThePirateSloth

*sigh*

LemonJello

Kyler can’t wait for CoD: Modern Warfare III to be released.

jjfozz

We’re replacing the Ravens with a JV football team, let’s see if people can tell the difference

LemonJello

Plot twist: She’s going to go after his brother!

LemonJello

This should go up under Fozz’s Tay-Tay comment.

/When do we plebes get edit ability?

Mr. Ayo

DONKS, WOO!

litre_cola

I thought that you were a Heaux fan?

Mr. Ayo

I’m just happy for Other Hippo. He’s suffered greatly with the Charmslinger.

litre_cola

Worst trade in history?

Mr. Ayo

TheShaun would like a word. But very close!

Redshirt

Yay

fleshwound_NPG

welp, i probably jinxed the “good slate of all 4 afternoon games” with that purdy pick

Mr. Ayo

OMG. Fires up BK app.

litre_cola

ONly 3 BK’s left in my fair city. Only 2 Taco Bell’s now too. The KFC/TB crossover place is the best for mediocre tacos and throw in a popcorn chicken.

fleshwound_NPG

cardinals tank is that of respect: play hard and keep it close…for 3 quarters. then commence the tank proper

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

BAHAHAHAHAHA! We’ll always have the…Giants?

https://twitter.com/theScore/status/1718724046269882843

yeah right

Some of us record and watch the games later. I’ll give the benefit of the doubt here.

fleshwound_NPG

NAWT a catch in cin/sf

fleshwound_NPG

holy fuck purdy go fuck off for that

litre_cola

If CMC could blow a hammy that would be great.

Brocky

Like seriously, he’s like a fantasy football cheat code

Brocky

Hail shanklor?

fleshwound_NPG

not many snarky komments this slate because the games are actually kinda…good-ish?

Brocky

Sure let’s go with this

fleshwound_NPG

all 4 games within a score in the 2nd half. let us savor this rare, rare afternoon slate of relative goodness

litre_cola

Denver playing tough, Zona lingering are quite surprising.

fleshwound_NPG

zona has been lingering in nearly every game this year

the most confusing tank in quite some time

litre_cola

Very perplexing. You would think the sum of all parts would be Carolina esque

fleshwound_NPG

tbf, they have the same record now!

Doktor Zymm

LET RUSS PULL THE TAB ON A MRE

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Usually when a DeVito takes over for a black guy so poorly, Rhea Perlman has to apologize to BET

fleshwound_NPG

oh yea, the bungles

fleshwound_NPG

out kyle shanahaning kyle shanahan at time/game management. andy reid sheds a tear

litre_cola

Good afternoon! I trust we are all doing well.

/checks Donks score.
/what pill is teh Hippo on????

King Hippo

We just shot ourselves in the dick.

Doktor Zymm

Sometimes that’s the only spot you can find a vein tho

Col. Duke LaCross

People forget that.

LemonJello

Powderception in the desert.

Col. Duke LaCross

Enough for all of us

fleshwound_NPG

burrow with a dumb sack on 3rd down and in fg range
long fg goes wide
dont give mr 28-3 these gimmies like that

LemonJello

Good Baby Jeebus, the officiating crews have to be on the take.

King Hippo

Channeling his Charming Hatred of Fatty Payton, all the way back to his MVP form. FUCK YOU, it could happen!!!

Mr. Ayo

DOINK!

King Hippo

they overturned the fumble, and it ended up costing the fumbling team 9 yards

King Hippo

We’re gonna need LOTS MOAR KHunt to survive Week 8 smh

Doktor Zymm

Do you think D’Andre Swift is upset that he isn’t even the most popular Swift on NFL broadcasts?

Last edited 1 year ago by Doktor Zymm
King Hippo

he’ll Shake It Off

King Hippo

Qards really asking sum QUESTIONS today!

King Hippo

I’d say she technically qualifies as a hobo. ESPECIALLY if she has Grateful Dead stickers on anything.

Brick Meathook

comment image

LemonJello

Don’t look back, you can never look back.

Dunstan

Tell her to say hi to Bud the Spud

King Hippo

We are guarding TRAVIS KELCE with Josey motherfucking Jewell.

King Hippo

WKRP looks like exacting revenge for those pesky Superb Owls.

Doktor Zymm

comment image

Redshirt

.

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Mr. Ayo

Dingleberry with an achilles tear.

King Hippo

Q-anon Shaman will cure him right up!

Doktor Zymm

Oopsie doodle!

fleshwound_NPG

TWO qbs that refused the shot with blown achilles, makes u think

Doktor Zymm

I suspect there might be better uses for satanic magic, but I’m actually pretty down with this application thereof

Brick Meathook

One sign of a concussion is that you start speaking like Tony Romo

LemonJello

A new chapter in The Legend of Black Powder?

ThePirateSloth

Well that was just dumb

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sup

Redshirt

Burrow just broke two sacks and murderings. Calf may be better.

King Hippo

Let. Russ. COOK!!!!

Col. Duke LaCross

A guy shot me down on a Jeudy trade prop this week, so I hope he goes off for like 30 today.

IMG_7029.gif
fleshwound_NPG

burrow covered himself in bacon grease pre-game

Horatio Cornblower

He can only do that on road games. Doing that in Ohio is suicide.

LemonJello

Not recommended in Kansas City, too.

Brick Meathook

Is it snowing in Denver?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Been a winter weather advisory all weekend

Brick Meathook

But is it actually snowing for the game? A temporary NFL+ subscription is riding on this. I want to see the game if it’s snowing. Googling is not giving me definitive answers.

King Hippo

it is not. Am very disappoint.

Brick Meathook

thx

LemonJello

Adjust the rabbit ears on your tv, Brick.

comment image

Redshirt

Play with the A-B Switch. It clears up in the middle.

Mr. Ayo

LOCKETT

King Hippo

Thank fuck scotchy drinks. I had to go on a dope run so missed their last 40 seconds of regulation. HERM EDWARDS thought y’all was being stupid.

ThePirateSloth

BOBO

Mr. Ayo

Most glorious tie is in range.

Horatio Cornblower

(Deleted because I’m a moron)

Last edited 1 year ago by Horatio Cornblower
Doktor Zymm

Seems like a reasonable path to a happy and healthy life

Horatio Cornblower

More people should do this. And I should probably do it more frequently.

King Hippo

I’mma just assume the deletion was Lowratio’s prolapsed butthole.

Horatio Cornblower

No, just me assuming that the Giants-Jets game was starting, rather than OT.

UConn’s own, Tim Boyle, losing there coin toss for the Jets!