Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.
This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
We all die. The goal isn’t to live forever, the goal is to create something that will [in bed].
Chuck Palahniuk
I’m not sure if this means crotch goblins or a bad fart under the blankets.
As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.
Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
Worked my last Sunday shift at the resto yesterday so missed the arvo games and the nightcap. There was a dude at one of my tables with his family who had put his phone down on an empty chair and was watching the Iggles game. Did I ever alow serve that table. Thanks random guy!
litre_cola
And.. one more year closer to retirement today. Five years max to go but hopefully just three.
I can practically count the days.
Think I’ll celebrate with a nice steak dinner and a good bottle of wine.
And someone else can cook it for me!
yeah right
I watched more shitty football than good football yesterday, so…is that on me or the shield?
BrettFavresColonoscopy
The Refs. Its always the Refs.
Redshirt
Fact: Cheetos taste better when eaten in bed.
Problem: orange stains on the white sheets.
Solution: purchase orange sheets to hide stains! (Alternate solution: simply never wash the white sheets ever and continue as normal with Cheeto habit.)
The Maestro
“Where can I buy these orange sheets?” — Mar-A-Lago laundry manager
Dunstan
John Smoltz has declared this game a ‘must-win’ for the Rangers.
It is Game 7.
Horatio Cornblower
Spent my birthday this morning getting my COVID booster and when checking in they said, “You’re due for some blood work.” Fucking great. Thirty minute wait in a packed waiting room for a blood draw.
I’m home and will be watching the game after watching Phillies vs Snakes.
Plus had some spectacular Thai food which was lovely.
SKOL!
yeah right
So going into tonight up <.5 with Aiyuk and Purdy with my opponent starting McCaffrey and Kittles and Bits.
BrettFavresColonoscopy
I need Addison to get about 7 to beat Litre in vodka league. Am feeling similar potential for boneage
Doktor Zymm
I need about 55 out of Cousins to beat Balls. I don’t think I’m going to beat Balls tonight.
SonOfSpam
Just cup them gently, they will like the attention.
litre_cola
Wife is in Vegas for work (a management meeting, not “on the streets”)
Her: (sigh) Hi
Me: You sound down, everything ok?
Her: Yeah, we’re going to a hockey game, and I don’t really feel like it.
Me: (curses Allah in perfect Arabic)
SonOfSpam
Silky Gerrard has left the chat
(at line 1)
King Hippo
“When things get really tough, small children getting hit flush in the face with a soccer ball never fails to cheer me up.”
scotchnaut
Why in fuck is there not a DFO podcast?
jjfozz
You’d murder whomever starts it within 90 seconds, that’s why.
WCS
I only kill people I don’t like. Like Rikki Tikki.
jjfozz
You’re starting to sound like Emily’s long-distance British boyfriend after she accidentally confessed that she’d made out with the seventeen year-old son of one of her firm’s clients.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Dicky Longwood was a pivotal figure in English rugby, but I’m just gonna giggle and say he sounds like a hell of a man
Doktor Zymm
Sharkbait 2.0 is in a phase where standing bounces seem to be the only thing to soothe him. My quads are begging me to reconsider this option since they’re sore from a 35 save effort in ball hockey earlier.
Sharkbait
driving around in a car doesn’t work?
Doktor Zymm
That actually does, very good point. Anyone need anything while I’m out?
Sharkbait
No, but let me know if you see Internet Dad while you’re there – he’s still not back with those cigarettes.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Raining like crazy. No run, gym rat lifting. And as a public service announcement…
2Pack
Good to see Ralph found useful employment.
Mr. Ayo
Sharkbait
say the teams qbs are shitty without saying the teams qbs are shitty
fleshwound_NPG
Over .5 Allen INTs is like free money
Sharkbait
22 years of being married. Mrs. Fozz is the luckiest gal alive. [Congratulations]
jjfozz
Mrs. Fozz: “That lunkhead misunderstood when I said I wonder what I did to deserve this.”
LemonJello
Dalton Kincaid absolutely sounds like the skiing douche villain in an 80s movie.
BrettFavresColonoscopy
No matter how bad this game gets, it’s still better than watching the combination of grief porn and looming genocide that’s on the news!
Doktor Zymm
I have a good friend who is an orthodox jew, half of his family is in Israel. I’ve been emailing and texting him.
I said, “I’ll pray for you, even though I’m Catholic, I think they’ll still count.”
He replied, “Thank you, that’s the first time I’ve laughed in weeks.”
jjfozz
“So, Middle Fozz Spawn, what was that fight on the field about?”
“That dick hit our running back late.”
“What did you say to him?”
“I said, ‘Pick on someone your own size, like me. I’ll fuck your bitch ass up.’”
He was penalized, but so was the other kid.
Proud moment.
jjfozz
Daughter just called from the store “Mom texted me and asked me to pick up beer…what kind do you want?”
(wipes tear) I love this family
SonOfSpam
Whose is it?
BrettFavresColonoscopy
Alright, let’s go. Friday night is here.
2Pack
Here’s some sexi Friday from Gumby
Gumbygirl
[dubya throws first pitch]
[game ends on the winning teams’ 9th hit, and in the 11th inning]
fleshwound_NPG
Dammit Texas. Respect the sign!
Mr. Ayo
This Kansas QB Bean I call him my MIL’s cooking because he STINKS
herodotus450
“Bean should have been soaked overnight-then he would have been ready.”
-yeah right, college football announcer
scotchnaut
Or shoulda been flicked.
-D. Favre
SonOfSpam
I think I’ll wrap up the garden reports today. I pulled most of it up this morning. Left in a few cherry tomatoes, parsley and the second zucchini planting to produce a bit more, or be killed by the frost that will soon come. It was a decent year. An odd late season here, stuff was all 4 weeks late. I usually close it out in early October. November I turn the soil over with this summers mulch… And the cycle begins again. The good earth.
2Pack
The last of the veggies for the final fresh peperonata of the year.
2Pack
Bet the last time all these fine Texas housewives were this quiet was when it came time to keep down the news of their high school abortions.
blaxabbath
The Dr. Mrs. realized that the upstairs roomba didn’t run today and I swear to God it was with something like glee that she declared that now she’d have to vacuum upstairs manually.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Why didn’t they just declare this Jets v Giants game a tie at the end of regulation? Feels like making it go to overtime is a Geneva convention violation or something.
Col. Duke LaCross
I failed to get a picture of a Ravens fan this morning, but I will try to paint with words.
Ravens hat
Lamar jackson jersey
faded purple camo shorts
white socks with ravens logo
white Nikes, raven themed
His wife was carrying a Steelers chair
jjfozz
Rikki, tuning in to a 6-3 Jaguars-Steelers snoozer after having watched the Rugby World Cup for the last two months (artist’s conception):
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Brick Meathook
More gooder English.
2Pack
WCS
Do you think D’Andre Swift is upset that he isn’t even the most popular Swift on NFL broadcasts?
Doktor Zymm
Dingleberry with an achilles tear.
Mr. Ayo
TWO qbs that refused the shot with blown achilles, makes u think
fleshwound_NPG
Can’t be a coincidence-Biden working his Satanic magic, for sure.
scotchnaut
I thought we had an understanding that Christmas ads wouldn’t start until at least Halloween was over.
Clearly we have no choice but to resume — and win — the War on Christmas. VICTORY SHALL BE OURS!!!!
Dunstan
Took almost the entirety of the first quarter for the Bears offense to be on the field long enough to get the Chargers defensive intros.
BrettFavresColonoscopy
I would love to see Jimmy Fallon shoved into a pit filled with hungry wolverines.
jjfozz
“So dad, I was talking to a total 9 last night, and her friend was a 3, and her friend kept cock blocking me. Can you believe that?”
jjfozz
“No son, no. No one believes you were talking to a 9.”
Horatio Cornblower
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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
Stay busy and safe out there.
NOTE banner image from here
Can’t wait for this weekend!
https://twitter.com/LasVegasLocally/status/1719730864903655931
I feel like such a bogart this week. Thanks GTD.
Lunch today was linguine and Mofo lobster!
Because… Linguine… and Lobster!
Hey I was off doing California stuff and I missed your final garden update and had a question: what is “frost”?
It’s totally chill Bro.
It’s this thing you get in areas with rainfall sufficient to support the population in the surrounding area.
(considers Oregon the surrounding area)
Your garden looked amazing.
Had a good year overall. And saved a few hundred on produce.
“Pro-what???”
-Al Michaels
I guess when I watch more shitty football I get more comment recognition.
What a perverse incentive structure.
Don’t you fret – Roger Goodell will find a way to monetize it.
You’re on to something there.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
[runs through clubhouse wearing nothing but a Raiders bandana wrapped around his wing-wang, pauses to place a visor around said wing-wang, twirls, it around like a hula hoop, then throws it symbolically into the fireplace]
Get well soon, RTD.
You didn’t see the news? I am well.
Rules mean nothing to Antonio Pierce, as we saw with his time at ASU. Best case for RTD, the tough badass Raiders are coming back to hit hard and Just Win Baby.
Most likely case, Head Coach Herm Edwards and his brand of Christianity for the Raiders.
HI I’M MARK DAVIS will just hire another mediocre coaching retread, it’s a pretty predictable pattern at this point. I’m thinking Dan Quinn.
Keep your hands off Dan Quinn!!! He’s fine right where he is.
Seriously, he’s fine. He’s a coordinator. We’ve all seen what happens when he tries to stretch past that.
That’s My Raiders!-ISH comedy ensues!
That’s Maybe Your Raiders Again!
We should totally eat at PF Changs when the crew is in Vegas.
Or you could eat at one of the many many good restaurants
You shut your whore mouth – M. Davis
NO NOT YOU TONIGHT GIRLFRIEND