Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: Hey, I Didn’t Burn Apartment Weaselo Down!

Hermana Weaselo was supposed to come over Thursday morning and we were going to make the meats together, with Madre Weaselo’s general recipe. But then she wasn’t feeling great, so she had to back out and wait to come with the rest of the family Weaselo. And I have to say, it didn’t turn out terribly! Okay, it was a little tricky in terms of recalculating the ham, because that was supposed to be at 275 but I was making the turkey breast simultaneously (okay, I put it in first) so had to recalculate.

Recalculating unfortunately did not call for adding a little sumpin sumpin. I was told in no uncertain terms to not do that, though I would have still kept it in conjunction with what was already on or in the ingredients. I’m not stupid, after all.

Well, I’m stupid enough that I probably overestimated the ham, so it was a little dark around the edges. But there was also steam at one point, so… steamed hams? (No aurora borealis was found in my kitchen.)

Apart from that, food was consumed by all. I’m always a big fan of mashed potatoes. Hot Thanksgiving take, we’re not huge on turkey (hence the ham as well), so that’s why just turkey breast, not a full bird. You know, like a lieutenant colonel!

Okay, or not. News?

-The big news, A-A-Ron Rodgers is being put on the 21-day practice window to come off IR. Naturally, this is as the season is already dead to rights. In typical Jets fashion, I expect him to re-injure it when he comes off the IR… in the pregame warmups. And then his insurance policy will get dropped, just like State Farm did with us!

-On the other hand, RB Jonathan Taylor will undergo thumb surgery. Rich white billionaires drop to their knees in relief, because it’s not like they get *checks notes* sympathy from the cops.

-Speaking of rich white billionaires, YEEHAW JERRAH’S GOT ANOTHER DAY IN COURT. (Due to the woman claiming to be an illegitimate daughter of Jerrah refiling.)

-Speaking of court cases, the Blind Side of Justice case continues, as Michael Oher is trying to prove that the Tuohys’ math doesn’t add up.

-500s OL Tytus Howard is done for the season due to a knee injury.

-Always good when the owner is giving a press conference about their first-round QB, right? Well, David Tepper did that. They’re just so, so fucked. Oddly enough, he didn’t give a reason about why he fired Frank Reich. I mean, being 1–10 does seem like a legitimate reason, but we knew the Panthers weren’t very good.

-Donks WOO! and Pacman Jones Award Nominee Kareem Jackson will be meeting with the Ginger Hammer regarding his suspension.

-Scourge of the Meadowlands DeSean Jackson will retire an Eagle, including being an honorary captain on Sunday.

What’s on TV tonight?

There’s iceball:
Little Caesar’s vs. Good Pizza (DET vs. NYR, 7:30, TNT/Zaslav’s shitbox)

And JV not-as-well-paid as football
Philly Phight! (Big 5 matchup) St. Joe’s vs. Villanova (in progress, FS1)
Not a Philly phight! Northeastern vs. Seton Hall (in progress, FS2)
Manning Tea Co. vs. Main Nike Subsidiary East (Tennessee vs. UNC, 7:15, ESPN)
aTm vs. Not Cleveland (Texas A&M vs. Virginia, 7:15, ESPN2)
Merrimack vs. Georgetown (8:30, FS1)
Hokie Pokie vs. Still Seething over the Iron Bowl (Virginia Tech vs. Auburn, 9:15, ESPN)
Annoying Devil vs. SAWBLAZE GOT ROBBED (worked out though) (Duke vs. Arkansas, 9:15, ESPN2)

Hey Senor, have you watched the Golden Bolt finals yet? No, because I’d need time to actually do that.

Hey Senor, what about a Marble League Rolldown update? Fun is (almost) canceled, as the Savage Speeders are nearing their third championship, up by 19 points with 2 events left. However, the Bumblebees are on the verge of something special, as the hosts are currently in 2nd! (The all-time best finish for a host team is 5th, by the Crazy Cat’s Eyes in 2021 and the Green Ducks in 2022, which is to say the hosts have never finished on the overall podium and nabbed one of the automatic qualification spots for the following year. Last year’s hosts, the Green Ducks, actually didn’t even qualify, and there was much sadness personally. Team Momo sits 7th.)

So now what? Uh, ignore my busyness (which is why I haven’t gotten to watch either of the above), as I’ll be in the land of Kars for Kids. If you have not heard it, do not, and I repeat, do NOT look up the commercial on the Youtubes. It’s the Head On of our time, but worse.