Let’s keep it moving.
To The Games!
Vikes/Raiders:
Vegas has very quietly put together the 13th ranked pass defense and it will be stress tested by a young wr that goes by the name of JJ. Since offensive genius McDaniels was booted off the team Jacobs has trotted out a 90.8 yard average. At 6-6 Minny is right in the middle of the playoff muddle-their chances of getting in rise to 60% with a win. Dobbs needs to clean up his play-his habit of throwing into tight windows has resulted in 5 interceptions the last two weeks.
Seahawks/Niners:
These guys just played 18 days ago. Nice work yet again, sked makers. Did you know that San Franny is 16-0 when Purdy, Deebo and McCaffrey are all healthy? They get into the playoffs with a win and a Minny or Packers loss. Walker should make his return after missing three weeks but will he be enough to break the Niners ten game divisional win streak?
Bills/Chiefs:
K.C.’s Sword of Damocles on defense is the designed run play-so much effort has been focused on stopping the pass (rightfully so) that they are 31st in that category. I don’t think that’ll be much of an issue vs Buffalo though, they’ve held back the careers of Moss, Singletary and now Cook by utilizing the most unimaginative run plays available.
Broncos/Chargers:
Is this Ekeler’s “get right” game? In his last two tilts he’s averaged 2.1 ypc but Denver has given up a perky 5.2. The Slinger of Charm has a healthy 16 game pass TD streak going! The defensive genius Staley got the first shutout of his three year tenure but it was the Pats so it shouldn’t count. Qb’s Tua, Goff, Patty, Cousins and Love have hung 300+ yards on the Chargers and the count might just rise to six after today.
Be yourself in the comments.
What are the Eberflus haters doing right now? Hibernating.
singing about their love for Austria?
A decent offensive coordinator is all that’s standing between us and cromulence.
He still needs to be Eberflushed
wtf was that
Insurmountable lead in MIN/LV
Help us, SHANK’LOR
Deebo always makes his overs in the first half, he can be ejected with dignity in garbage time
timeout/delay of game combo platter in Vegas
Bah, where’s shan’khlor when you need him?
Bench clearing brawl in Santa Clara? I dig it
Eeeeeets-a-me! The other-a Bosa!!!
Allen’s ability to throw a dead bird to a wr for two yards while being in the grasp of defensive tackle remains unmatched.
To keep my good day going, time for yesterday and today’s Scotch advents!
#9: Ledaig 2006 Sherry Cask – The Whisky Show 2022 15yr
Yum! Cranberry woodsmoke
“Vikes/Raiders 0-0 tie is the best worst disaster piece since ‘Guerinca’.”
-Clement Greenberg, sports reporter
Did you guys know Kelce is dating Taylor Swift?
Where did you hear this rumor?
I heard that they were shaking it off, shaking it off. Sources?
The Donks are actually super entertaining to watch now. And Buffalo has looked great all game so they’re definitely gonna blow it. Thank Glod for Red Zone so I’m nawt stuck watching that Vikes/Raiders monstrosity. And Deebo continues to be awesome.
Has any defense ever recorded a clean sheet AND given up 70+ in the same season? I have to think not.
The Redacteds did NAWT have a shutout in 1940, when they lost the NFL Championship Game 72-0.
If so it’s gotta be pre merger
This Vikings-Raiders game is an affront to God.
I am praying SO HARD for nil-nil. Even after Extra Time.
2-0 O/T
on an Orlovsky?
The NFL should institute the CFL rogue rule for this game only.
Has there ever been a 1-nil in the CFL?
Yes!
https://3downnation.com/2020/03/15/the-lowest-scoring-game-in-modern-cfl-history/
(fucking Aiyuk)
I see you, angling for the naming rights for the Debbie Does Dallas sequel. So sly.
Holy CortBALLS!!!
of course la dodgers get ohtani instead of rumored toronto, so in mocking canada la chargers send in at quarterback a hockey stick
Hey diddle diddle, run the Kittle down the middle
We are ONE QUARTER away from a Full Frank Beamer in Vegas. THIS IS NOT A DRILL PPL
Deebodown.
I’m ded already, but it would still be nifty to get a few AiyukPOINTZ
Herbert the Duck is OUT!
Debated playing him or Dobby in Math Hard!. Guess who I picked.
I don’t think there was a right answer, sadly.
Catching up, apparently this is the first time in TEN YEARS the Bears won coming off of a bye.
so, the first since firing lovie. of course.
Hippo Reacts Reasonably (to VAR Ruling)
What is an Easton Stick?
One of the fatal design techniques of the Titan sub.
“The instrument that allowed me to score 827 goals in the NHL, (and counting!) tyvm…”
-A. Ovechkin
Sheena Easton after sex change surgery
Easton Stick are you NOT ENTERTAINED??
McMillions sure ’nuff is!
Food-wise, what do you want right now?
Me: “Fresh sourdough bread hugging Black Forest ham, Kraft cheese slices, iceberg lettuce, fresh turkey breast and hot capicola with a heavy vinegar-based free-trade mustard. Pile it high, brother.”
Pot roast. Extra oregano.
My grandmother HATED oregano. You could not even ask for it at the table. You sir, have offended my grandmother. I will be over tonight with a straight razor and a machine gun.
Hippo is ready, and totally accepts his fate.
If I had to be tortured with water, I’d gladly be water boarded before having to see the new Aquaman movie.
Apparently I was drinking last night. Bonus points: I fell asleep on the couch with my son, who is sick, and my oldest had to wake me up. I am a great role model.
Did you wake up in time to see the end of the Ravens game?
Well, yes. First, had a throw down with the wife.
in danger of having TWO games today go into halftime 0-0
and broncos/chargers tried to make it three
this nfl season is trying to open a portal to hell to summon bad 1950s B1G football to balance out the offensive explosion since the 2010s
Roger Goodell saw how the BCS playoff selection committee just made up a bunch of factors to justify selecting what they thought would make the most compelling games and is drafting a proposal for the NFL Competition Committee as we speak.
He is a sloppy pile of shit
I’d take a nil-nil 2nd half in LA, that’s for sure.
The Bills lack of commitment to a viable running game befuddles me. (yes, they’re up 14 but it’s not because of Cook’s running)
I am le tired
“How le tired are you?”
-Gerard Depardieu
OH MY GOD LET ME TAKE A PICTURE AND INSTAGRAM IT AND THEN OH MY GOD!
Aidan O’Connell has that Jay Cutler neck
Does AOC nap all day in a sunbeam?
After he shits on top of your favorite sweater and completely ruins your curtains.
They said it was the first time in 4 years when NYJ/HOU was nil-nil at the half. It’s about to happen for the second time TODAY
in the early thread you said you were enjoying this season of football
you cant be now, and this jinx is your fault
I make very poor life decisions!
bearistocrats fan here, i make more of them than you yearly (at least the tank has a multi-game lead now!)
josh allen is a hybrid of cam newton and rex grossman
and SOMETIMES it works really well
It really is the shake of a very large magic 8-ball.
Stafford won a Superb Owl with a similar career strategy.
Fuck, Elisha won two.
A shake of a very large 8 ball is called a Marinovich summons
I absolutely loved watching him in his first year-head-shakingly bad pass decisions, 60 yard bombs, strong-arming linebackers, juking cornerbacks in the open field, pushing off defensive tackles trying to pull him down. He was the very best entertaining qb to watch, ever. Rookie year Mike Vick is a close second.
Brokeback Needs Nae Tush Push!
Doesn’t need it, but he likes it
He’ll beat you up after, though
In Freezer Vodka Club Fed got 3.64 points out of Stroud. I’m projected to get blown out by 46 points. How are you doing?
We’re doing better than the homeless in the Great White North later…
Apparently the New Orleans D was my QB
I wouldn’t be eating any spicy food while I was up thar.
Is this in the airport?
Yellowknife airport
Why don’t they just put up a sign saying, “Don’t fuck the natives!”?
am I supposed to tip you people after??
To be fair, this sign should be in every bathroom in Los Angeles.
I’m sure Cecil Rhodes has thoughts on the matter.
congrats on the sex…?
The Bears are turning into a really interesting team, given that they were part of the draft pick dance conversation a very short time ago.
that, and their schedule is charmin soft af
Thankfully, with Carolina doing their job, they still are. But it’d be nice if they don’t have to use the #1 on a QB.
Do they go o-line or somewhere else?
I want Harrison. But if not him or QB, I think they’re leaning D-line or Edge with a Center in the 2nd round. The O-line, isn’t terrible right now, just lacks depth.
I know Fields is a bag of mixed results but he’s better than the majority of qb’s out there. As an outsider I think that an OC that focuses on what he does well would do wonders to the offense.
You’re preaching to the choir buddy. I think Fields has the potential to be the best QB I’ve ever seen in a Bears uniform. Getsy is ass.
The sad thing, without those stupid Denver and first Detroit game losses, and they’re in the wild card picture.
I’ll be turning 48 years old tomorrow, and I’m pretty sure this is the first time in my entire life I’ve thought to myself “the Browns probably won…”
Congrats on another lap around the sun.
Josh McDaniels left you his present in your shoes, the floor next to your shoes, the floor to kitchen, and in front of the fridge. It’s also brown and normally looks and smells horrible.
He emptied the mop bucket used to clean the bathroom that Jim Irsay used in his house? Man, what a jerk.
D-O-N-K-S!!! We only have like 60% of the crowd, that is disappoint.
Hippo haz a happy
Tom Coughlin approves, Rams.
/earlier today
Wifey: “I’m headed off to Sudbury to get an ultrasound.”
Me: “Why don’t you get the Mega Supersound? We can afford it.”
Wifey: [blank look, leaves]
Me: [to myself] “I probably did nothing at all to relieve her fears with that dumb joke.”
Other Me: “Nailed it right there, buddy.”
That is not how you RAMMIT!
This just in. Engines both have to be working for a plane to leave.
Tell ’em you’ll risk it! LIVE A LITTLE
Tickets should cost half with half the propulsion, anyway.
My last minute ticket to the Arctic was 6k. Ridiculous
If you really need to talk to Santa that badly, can’t you just Zoom call or something?
Decilitre did ask if I was going to see him
Did you get the, “How much do you weigh?” treatment. I did when flying in a propeller plane from Sudbury to Toronto.
I did not. This isnt a prop plane.
I have no idea why I hate Keenan Allen so much. But I surely do.
His beard combined with the bald crown probably remind you of some tow truck driver that ripped you off at some point in your life.
Jesus Christ these fucking Rams.
This is some mutual derpy-assed shit right here
Crazy game
Try to have a worse drive than Marlon Humphrey YOU CAN’T
Milf Hunter Z was… cromulent?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3myqvvauzc&list=PLFi9V6EFsFImHKEho5B34IsIM9HHaICOc&index=9&ab_channel=DJDiscoCat
Rams deserve to win this game.
Game in the balance right here.
Deserve’s got nuthin’ to do with it!
(but yeah, agreed)