Even More Football? Here’s Your Sign, Er, Open Thread

Let’s keep the good times rolling.

To The Games!

Niners/Cards:

Potential upset here? The Cards have unlikely wins vs the Cowboys and Steelers and gave the Ravens a run for their money. I guess they’re able to pounce if a team doesn’t take them seriously. Otherwise it’s same old, same old despite the subtraction of Koach Kliff. The Niners don’t have much recent footage of Kyler because he hasn’t played against them since October of 2021. Recently groovy MVP candidate (he won’t win because McCaffrey will split the vote) Purdy should have an easy time of it because Arizonny has the 4th-worst pressure rate. Maybe draft an edge fella with that high draft pick?

Commies/Rams:

Howell leads the league with 39.2 pass attempts per tilt and that stat is going to go nowhere but up. Has it done Washington any good? Nope. Stafford is on a roll as the team tries to get into the playoffs (they’re still my pick as a sneaky good team that will surprise) having thrown at least 3 TD’s in his last three games. Added to that is the fact that Kyren is single-handedly making the run game effective-he’s run for 100+ in four of his last six. Make that 5 of 7-the Commies D has given up the ghost.

Cowboys/Bills:

Buffalo is on the outside of the playoffs and looking in which just doesn’t seem right. Nobody talks about Dallas defensive tackle Odighizuwa, probably because no one can type or pronounce his name properly but he’s been amazing in the trenches, having the second-best pass rush win rate behind a certain Aaron Donald. In other news, the rich get richer. [spits on ground] Diggs has been fairly quiet (which is unusual for him) these last four weeks but Dallas plays man 64% of the time and Steph shines bright in that coverage. Look for Allen to pass all day given the fact that his EPA while throwing is .16 and the figure for designed run plays is a meager .04.

Have at it.

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Horatio Cornblower

https://twitter.com/FilmUpdates/status/1736478164023464051

Of course he did. He’s a 5-Star Man.

Brick Meathook

Until the SNF game, I present Joyriding High on Dope

This is actually just some test footage for a commercial I shot. I had my Sony A7III and my iPhone 12 mounted on the roof of my Ford Explorer Rolls Royce SUV. The iPhone was the superior footage. These were all tests, and I obviously love the Torrance refinery. They never used my footage but I got paid in full.

https://vimeo.com/778556886

King Hippo

This mediocre fantasy season has been the perfect microcosm of my mediocre fantasy career. I can indeed now retire as Grimace Touched My Butthole, if I so choose.

Horatio Cornblower

I’d love to take issue with Gronk calling the Cowboys out for being soft but, (checks notes from game), he seems to be correct.

Brick Meathook

Wait . . . is there no Sunday Night game?

LemonJello

Ratbirds v Jaguras

Brick Meathook

Thanks. It’s on my FUBO now (TV streaming piece of shit, just like my rectum).

King Hippo

You’ve got your speedo and have painted your bare chest, as is DUUUVVVVVAAALLLL custom?

LemonJello

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Horatio Cornblower

This is literally the Letterkenny episode where the Irish played the Shamrockettes.

https://twitter.com/FootbaIIFckUps/status/1735251284108984358

LemonJello

McCarthy is going to demolish some Blue Bunny ice cream after this. But he won’t enjoy it.

Doktor Zymm

Yes, I totally see how this garbage time TD gives the NGCPs something to build on for next week. Totally sensical sentiment.

King Hippo

BlueBunny must have CeeDee in fantasy

Horatio Cornblower

Ah yes. Prescott running with less than 5 minutes left and down 28.

This seems like a smart idea.

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JustStopDude

I’m no football coach, but tend to agree.

Brick Meathook

San Pedro and Palos Verde Peninsula:

https://vimeo.com/779077027

Horatio Cornblower

It’s reached the point where I won’t even watch a commercial with Skip Bayliss. He comes on I flipped it over to the local news.

jjfozz

IF could make a choice between curing cancer or having Bayliss pushed into a pit of rabid wolverines, well, we’re still making great strides in curing cancer.

Horatio Cornblower

Bayliss is a cancer, so technically your decision is the right one.

King Hippo

think of how happy you’ll make those wolverines!

jjfozz

I think it’s nice of McDaniel to allow four homeless people to take shelter under his sideline coat.

Redshirt

The Dallas Cowboys reign of terror lasted slightly less than expected.

JustStopDude

I haven’t seen cowboys get fucked like this since i stumbled onto Ram Ranch.

Horatio Cornblower

THIS GAME I CALL IT BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN BECAUSE I’M STEALING JSD’S JOKE!!!

LemonJello

“THAT REMINDS ME…CHERYL ANN, CALL SILKY AND CANCEL THE WHORES FOR TONIGHT’S POST GAME. MY BOYS DON’T DESERVE ‘EM WITH THIS PLAY ON THE FIELD.”

Doktor Zymm

Brisket sighting!

Redshirt

“On my way!” A. Reid

LemonJello

-Andy Reid anytime he enters a BBQ joint

Horatio Cornblower

Just take the starters out. I don’t need to see Cee Dee Lamb killed while Dak guns it into triple coverage.

Doktor Zymm

So you want to see the backups killed? You might need them when the starters get killed while choking in the playoffs!

Horatio Cornblower

Cannon fodder is there for a reason. I would think someone with a hidden lair would appreciate that.

Doktor Zymm

Yes, but I hire them under a specific ‘cannon fodder’ contract. They know what they’re getting into and they’re aware of the lack of opportunities for advancement.

Horatio Cornblower

“Thank you for joining our organization. Your red shirt will be supplied once you have completed orientation. Your insurance benefits will take effect once you have reached 90 days of continuous employment, but let’s face it, it isn’t going to come to that.”

Redshirt: HEY!!

clint greasewood

Sundays on FOX

James Cook is Cowboy Slayer

Doktor Zymm

See, and this is why I’ve been pretty sure the Eagles will win the division

LemonJello

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ThePirateSloth

LOOKIT JAMES COOK … FRICASSEE

litre_cola

/bets on Dallas

Cackles at money well spent.

Redshirt

The Cowboys are laying something on the field but it sure ain’t an egg.

Horatio Cornblower

Oh they’re spreading it everywhere.

Brick Meathook
Horatio Cornblower

I wonder if Dallas would be doing better in Mike McCarthy had given a halftime speech praising the determination of Hamas.

Horatio Cornblower

I get such a kick out of the woman behind the counter in that “John Travolta As Santa Clause” commercial being the same actress who played the girl who was head over heels for him in ‘Stayin’ Alive’ that he wouldn’t pay attention to.

Or at least looks a lot like her.

jjfozz

I think it is her.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Thatsthejoke.gif

jjfozz

I have no idea why I haven’t been offered a cologne commercial.

LemonJello

Probably the insurance required for all the guns and explosions

jjfozz

Is there a cologne that smells like sweat, liquor, and hate?

Horatio Cornblower

Putting aside my whining about the calls, Dallas’s tackling is really shite.

I shudder to think what the Niners and their running game is going to do to them in the inevitable play-off loss.

Gumbygirl

Here’s a fun fact I just found out the hard way: palm fronds have fucking thorns on them! I let the dog out in SIL’s backyard and saw one had fallen down. I grabbed it to throw it away, and the fucker BIT ME!!! I have a couple in my yard too, I’m going to pour gasoline on them when I get home. Fuck you palm trees, this means war!

Horatio Cornblower

Burning yard debris never goes wrong in California.

LemonJello

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King Hippo

Murray? ABSENT.