To The Games!
Jets/Fins:
Tyreek is a game-timer and he would put serious pressure on a Jets D that deserves much better qb play. (yes, I know Mother Lover played well last week but it was a one-off) That Wilson kid has never thrown a TD vs Miami, by the by. Oof! The Jets are in the midst of a 10 game division road losing streak. If they win their chances of making the playoffs jump to 1%.
Texans/Titans:
Good grief Noah Brown, it’s up to you-Stroud, Nico and Tank have left the building so we get to see if it’s the system or the talent that makes Houston’s O go. My bet is the latter. Levis went for 300+ on Monday but everyone knows that the bread and butter and cheese slices and Black Forest ham and crisp Boston lettuce of the Titans offense is King Henry.
Bucs/Packers:
In theory I should be interested in this fixture but I am not. Your sneaky streamer of the day is Tucker Kraft, tight end of Green Bay and maker of artisanal wasp jellies. He’s getting a lot of targets recently and the Bucs can’t defend the position. Mayfield should be able to pass with impunity because Tampa has all of 6(!) INT’s this season.
Giants/Saints:
There’s plenty of good things being said about non-bedmaker DeVito but he’s experiencing the same trouble that Dimes underwent-he’s getting sacked on 19% of his dropbacks. How has the o-line coach not been fired yet is a mystery for the ages. Despite the fact that the O runs through him, Saquon has rushed for 100 yards all of one time this year.
Falcons/Panthers:
Carolina has focused on the run game more in order to take pressure off the beleaguered Bryce Young but Atlanta defends well in that area, having given up only 5 rush TD’s all year. Seriously, that’s crazy. The tilt might be a close one though-the Panthers have been within a score in the 4th quarter in their last five games.
Bears/Browns:
Cleveland’s D has an absurd -.11 Expected Points Added per play which is the 3rd-best figure since the stat was first tracked in 2014. Fields is in for a test despite the fact that he’s led the Bears away from a top draft pick since he came back from his injury. Flacco Beware! He’s tossed an INT in each of his starts and the Bears have been a takeaway machine, forcing 8 turnovers in their last 3 tilts.
Chiefs/Pats:
Zeke pulled off something unique in the usage stat world-he’s the first rb in at least 20 years to be involved in 100% of a team’s running plays. Mahomes play this year has been less than “all-world” and there are a few factors, including the league’s highest drop rate of 5.9%. (insert obligatory Kadarius slander here)
Type away.
Next post is open for biznez.
This game, if it were food
What is the most Bearsenschiesse way for this game to end?
fumbled snap on the FG
no, THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fields injury?
LemonJello, COMMENT OF THE DECADE
yep. that’ll do it.
That was just it
We just had it and it was entertaining
Ask, and ye shall receive.
(Or cough it up for an INT, whatever works)
Well, now that Levis is dedd perhaps the Tits will finally stop toying with DonT’s feelings
Shit!!! I had Levis in fantasy. I have a first round bye, so not killing me this week. I just need a healthy QB that isn’t a Jet.
if you can’t beat ’em, Most GlorioUsly DRAW ’em!
Get Flacco’s celebratory tap water and rice cakes ready!
make sure it’s perfectly room temperature!!
Mr. Elite tried super-hard to throw the backbreaking pickerception, but Chi**** just wouldn’t bite.
Have I got a Toney for him!
Njoku, high as balls
son-in-law MATERIAL!!
Myles Garrett, still has HippoVOTE for MVP
Once again, the same question that has been asked for decades. Some may call this question silly, but the question seeks the real answers in life:
Is Flacco an elite quarterback?
Fucking Flacco acting all elite and shit.
Bearistocrats! delayed, but nae denied
“I’ve seen Swift fill up stadiums but I’ve yet to see her fill out a Chiefs sweatshirt.”
-Russ Meyer
Now this is a comment I can grope.
Tay Tay’s BF ded
They just showed Tay Tay!!!!
Toney gets cut and left on the tarmac after that, right?
must have the best Monte Cristo recipe for Andy Reid
The tarmac is too good for him-call an Uber and drive him to a 7/11 dumpster.
I CALL THIS WINDOW AN EARLY 80’S JOHN TRAVOLTA THRILLER BECAUSE THERE ARE A NUMBER OF BLOW OUTS!
I know people say this all the time, but I think I could be a better WR than Kadarius Toney, just by virtue of not fucking anything up.
Toney just needs cut. I’m sure we could just put log of goat cheese on the field and get better results.
That goat cheese would never make it out of the locker room, not on Andy’s watch.
“An apple watch? Please. Let me know when they come out with a Waygu watch.”
-A. Reid
But you charge the apple watch by putting it in the mouth of a whole roast pig
I’m gonna need a couple more apple watch chargers for the flight home.
– A. Reid
Mom: “Kadarius, could you go down to the store and get me a bag of chips?”
16 Yr. Old Kadarius: “Sure mom, anything for you.”
Mom: [the next day] “Huh, did you know that the store you bought chips at burned down yesterday?”
Kadarius: [eyes shift from side to side] “Huh. What a strange coincidence that I didn’t have any part in whatsoever and you can’t prove it!”
Mom: “What?”
Kadarius: “What?”
This one for #MyCauseMyCleats
POINT: “You shouldn’t give donuts to dogs.” – by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
COUNTERPOINT: “You absolutely should.” – by Penny Deadly
This was the highlight of my day so far:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6NE_kbJQ8r8
Titans down a punt at the one! Why oh why must Tenneessee keep pulling me back in!1!!11
13-9 is a perfect Vrabel day!
Vrabel’s Resilient Fuckos 💯
Rikki, still not watching football (artist’s conception):
Ko Kieft is just one K away from being a Trump supporter.