Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks comments of the week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.
This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
No man chooses evil because it is evil he only mistakes it for happiness, the good he seeks [in bed].
Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley
I’ve been using some less cheesey quotes, but have no idea what to think of this one. Anyone have any ideas about this one.
And still, some-the-fuck-how in the LDBC. Went shopping a few times on the weekend and did hear Christmas music, just not that damn song. I even had some Christmas music going while doing stuff around the house and while I did look for that song before using that playlist, was afraid of a random sample or to roll off the end of the playlist and it coming up randomly. Fully expect to be out in the next few days as the kids are home from school and will get all Christmasy, which is fine, but in doing so, i will be out.
As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.
Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
The Chiefs are about to get so many bad calls and non-calls against them, and I am here for it.
It’s one thing to go after the officials for botching calls. It’s another to whine and cry when they were clearly and utterly correct.
Horatio Cornblower
THESE TITANS I CALL THEM THE OCEANGATE TITAN BECAUSE THEY IMPLODED THEN IMMEDIATELY EXPLODED TAKING OUT A GROUP OF ELITES ON THE WAY
Doktor Zymm
Now that he has three straight wins the Giants front-office is working on a 4-year, $165 million extension for DeVito.
Horatio Cornblower
Fully guaranteed.
WCS
Man they reissued Plaxico’s jersey?
Man, straight shooter like that, you’d think they’d retire the jersey
Brocky
So, if I can get super cereal here for a second…
I think I might be done with fantasy football. I know there’s a lot of that said every year, but damn. I’m tired of the bad luck.
I’m out of the playoffs despite being #4 in scoring, I’m send in the league in points against. I lost twice to the worst person in the league, their two highest scores were against me, I scored over 150 both times, and just… blah.
I never seem to get a high draft pick, I know it’s a first world problem, but damn. It seems like the only reason I’m playing is because I’m commissioner. I could join a different league but I wouldn’t know everyone the way my own league…. idk
Brocky
Every year the first snow happens, the stores fill up with holiday decorations, and guys swear off Fantasy Football. sniff I love these traditions
Recovery Whiskey
The last time someone was as disappointed with a Chubb as I am right now, it was Deanna Favre
Dunstan
Check this out. Gumby went to the dispensary and got some prerolls. I’m willing to bet the Shield doesn’t know about this!
Gumbygirl
Be honest: you sent him to the commissary for dinner rolls, and that’s what he came back with.
LemonJello
Brocky
THIS GAME I CALL IT THE JAPANESE FISHING FLEET BECAUSE IT’S EFFICIENTLY TAKING OUT A LOT OF DOLPHINS
Doktor Zymm
Ciao Tutti
2Pack
I bought Decilitre a Raiders shirt in Vegas. He wore it to class pics and has his tongue out and devil horns… Le sigh.
litre_cola
HI I’M MARK DAVIS WHEN IS HE DRAFT ELIGIBLE
Dunstan
You Didn’t Hear It From Me: There’s a link between Jimmy Hoffa and Tommy “Cutlets” DeVito. Back in the late ’70’s/’80’s the New York/Jersey crime families were squabbling amongst themselves-boundaries were being argued, there were, shall we say, slight disagreements regarding sharing the money from certain rackets.
I’m telling you that so I can tell you this. A certain family had Hoffa wacked and the story goes that he got the ceremonial concrete casket somewhere in the foundation of Giants Stadium back in ’82. What’s done is done, right?
Not so fast, paesan. A certain Tom Sr. and Alexandra DeVito are enlisted years later by a certain other competing family to raise a certain undrafted local boy to play quarterback and then be invited to the New York Giants camp. Long shot, right? You keep thinking that.
When it looks like the Giants are sitting in the catbird’s seat to draft a new franchise quarterback in the 2024 draft, well, whadda you know-here comes this DeVito kid outta nowhere to lead them to a few victories and out of a spot high in the draft.
The Lesson? You bury a golden boy in someone’s backyard in Giants Stadium? Well, another golden boy is gonna wreck the franchise for a few more years.
scotchnaut
Brick Meathook
Thanks Don T eloquently put as usual. Since I am out of the LDBC I’ll troll y’all with this…
2Pack
Mike Bidwill’s sexuality and the contents of Blax’s socks aside, this once again proves Blax puts far more effort into anything football related than anyone involved at the front office of 0 Championship Drive.
WCS
As an Guy that took English Lit, I’ve no choice but to cheer for a team-the Iowa Western Reivers-that had the balls to name itself after one of Faulkner’s lesser-known works.
/It was smart choice and much better than The Fightin’ Light in August-ers for sure
scotchnaut
But did you take Comparative LIT?
ballsofsteelandfury
Is there where you had to read two books and point at the better one?
SonOfSpam
Many guys can’t find it.
ballsofsteelandfury
Finally eating my cup of Daebak Ghost Pepper Ramen. It’s spicy as I got some splashback in the eye, and I’m at a bit of a wall about two-thirds in as a result.
I wonder if it would have been better had it not also been 18 months or so expired.
Senor Weaselo
Weaselo:
SonOfSpam
I hate job interviews. I hate live coding. I hate talking about projects I’ve worked on. I hate giving examples of times I did things.
I’m also not in a good mood since my favorite horse that I ride most of the time flipped out big time on Sunday and now he’s leaving for retraining because it’s too risky to put anyone on him now. This week just sucks.
Doktor Zymm
I was going to save this for Sexy Friday but, here, you need a cheap, sophomoric laugh.
Redshirt
The Clippers are projected $35 million over the cap next season.
Holy shit, Justin Herbert is fucked.
WCS
99% chance of a Scorigami
Sharkbait
100% chance of fuck you, spanos
fleshwound_NPG
The Raiders coach knows he’ll be looking for a job in 5 weeks, so he doesn’t want to make enemies going for 70+.
PUSSY
King Hippo
HOLY SHIT!
I just found a pint of Reese’s Peanut Butter ice cream in my freezer. It was left over from Thanksgiving.
I’m going to eat the hell out of it.
Brick Meathook
/Seconds later, at Brick’s house…
Horatio Cornblower
Five scores in 30 minutes? I thought the Raiders moved to Las Vegas, not the Bunny Ranch.
Redshirt
Honest question: will Staley be fired at halftime?
WCS
He’ll get the Lane Kiffin treatment and be left at the airport.
SonOfSpam
How long have the Raiders been saving up their points? Do they all expire tonight if they don’t use them?
LemonJello
If they score 60 they can trade them in for a clock-radio!
Doktor Zymm
I love that Spanos has to wear a lanyard. Jerrah would never.
litre_cola
Spanos: “Don’t you know who I am?”
Security: “Of course I do, but you’re a piece of shit and rules are rules.”
scotchnaut
Doktor Zymm
How long did he sit there? Just a few minutes or Faraday?
Gumbygirl
Even crappy football and a glass of wine is pretty nice after 2 hours of interviewing. Another 2 hours tomorrow, plus an hour coding interview, and a follow-up call on an interview that I thought I messed up but maybe didn’t. Phew!
Doktor Zymm
Dok’s coding, dramatic re-creation:
LemonJello
Tell us more about Hawaii!
blaxabbath
It’s a tropical island chain west of California.
BrettFavresColonoscopy
Caused by a volcanic hotspot on the ocean floor, will eventually stop growing when the Earth’s plates shift away from said hotspot, and it’s destruction was avoided by a rouge Navy SEAL operator during an international incident in 1992.
WCS
It is a land of contrasts.
SonOfSpam
Staley and Telesco out at Clippers HQ.
Spanoi clan on the phone to immediately inquire about the availability of Josh McDaniels and Hue Jackson.
WCS
The #Chargers are cleaning house after last night’s disaster, firing coach Brandon Staley and long-time GM Tom Telesco, sources say. pic.twitter.com/iaW5kYqCie
— Ian Rapoport (@RapSheet) December 15, 2023
WCS
Chargers hire Duce Staley, save on relabeling parking space.
SonOfSpam
Rudy Giuliani right now (artist’s conception):
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Just back from the Wilson School of Textiles, Wolven Sort HippoSPAWN is now a galdurned college graduate!
King Hippo
Interesting fact:
I just discovered that “The Kraken” is an actual team and not some made-up moniker on this website. I saw their name on a TV in a bar and I was shocked.
This is probably due to the fact that I don’t follow hockey and the Wall Street Journal sports page doesn’t cover it anyway.
Brick Meathook
Their uniform looks like a failed toothpaste ad.
Horatio Cornblower
What does the “A” stand for? Is it like pizza?
Brick Meathook
Those three represent batteries.
BrettFavresColonoscopy
/At party at my brother’s
Guy breaks out medicinal weed. “This is really strong, you all need to be careful”
Person 1: Oh my god (curls up in a fetal position, goes outside multiple times, leaves early)
Person 2: (married to Person 1). Fuck, I’m high as hell
My Brother: (takes two giant hits). Yeah, that’s it for me
Me: (Pass)
Mrs. Horatio: (Takes hit) (takes another hit) Wow. Cute pot you got there.
The moral of this story is do not light up with Mrs. Horatio and expect it to end well.
Horatio Cornblower
She is my hero and soon to be role model.
ArmedandHammered
She literally told everyone there that she would smoke them under the table and then proceeded to do so.
I’m not sure I should be as turned on by that as I am.
Horatio Cornblower
This is Luna. I have been trying to lure her onto my lap for years. I finally succeeded, and then i got a horrendous cramp in my calf and I had to move. Boooooooo!
Gumbygirl
Slightly Less Fractured Skull Older Boy passed all his business classes!*
*Lowratio told me during his podcast that it’s the little victories that count the most
scotchnaut
Wifey has invited a friend over for the weekend. She has a terminal cancer. Molly and Ruby insist upon being close to her. They get shooed away, they wait a bit and then hop up on the couch she’s sitting on so they can be near her.
/don’t know what to say about this [editor: i do, GOOD DOGS]
scotchnaut
Rudolph the Pittsburgh Steeler
Has a very average arm
Still better than Trubisky
Who cannot seem to avoid harm
[right to the bridge]
Then one shitty Saturday, Tomlin came to say
Rudolph with your throws so tight
Can’t you save this team tonight?
[there would be no happy ending]
Downfield Matriculator
Ugh, Vikings . It’s hard to root for them when they’re so fucking derpy. I don’t know how Yeah Right does it!
Gumbygirl
“Well, I confit and then slow roast my anger and then marinate my frustration in a red wine reduction. It’s simple, really.”
-yeah right
scotchnaut
If you happen to be in Astoria, OR this weekend, and you just so happen see a tall dumb idiot with a Pirate Sloth tattoo and his Pirate Wench out on the town, buy us a drink or three because it is her birthday.
ThePirateSloth
I propose a vote before the house.
The term “Chunk play” or its derivative “Chunks” shall be stricken from the announcers vocabulary hence forth!
The only variation is if a lineman has the nick name of “Chunks” because that would be cool.
yeah right
I second, but also move that we consider “chunk play” for use when a fat guy has a nice return on a turnover but doesn’t score.
Horatio Cornblower
Unlike BFC I took a pre-dinner nap and have no social obligations to speak of after having been out three straight nights.
You know you’re on the losing side of 50 when you’re unreasonably excited about staying in while wearing flannel pajamas and maybe, just maybe, getting nuts enough to make hot chocolate after 9:30 pm!
Horatio Cornblower
What is the most Bearsenschiesse way for this game to end?
LemonJello
I CALL THIS WINDOW AN EARLY 80’S JOHN TRAVOLTA THRILLER BECAUSE THERE ARE A NUMBER OF BLOW OUTS!
scotchnaut
gets home from running errands, turns on Pts game, sees score*
Me:…typo?
Mr. Nel: No, we’re just in time to see the Chiefs score, obviously.
Petronel
Another December Sunday, another day at the friggin Christmas markets following ladies with poor senses of direction, and even worse methodical search skills around. And another metric ton of bag hauling… Uhmmm… In the bag. Lift with the legs team.
2Pack
/bets on Dallas
Cackles at money well spent.
litre_cola
At the party, my father’s old secretary was there and said, “Did you ever hear the Tinker Toy story?”
“Nope.”
Apparently my father – an OBGYN by trade – was taking care of a patient who had severe bladder pain. So he’s got her up in the stirrups, has the flashlight or whatever, and is probing around.
“Were you having sex last night on your bed?”
“Yes.”
“Do you have children?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, well just sit still, because there is a tinker toy wedged against the wall of your uterus and I have to take it out.”
jjfozz
Quite the ending in Cleveland. Steamy, even.
Horatio Cornblower
Lake effect Bearsenschiesse.
LemonJello
Prison Girlfriend knows his way around the yard.
LemonJello
I’ve heard that’s where his milkshake brings the boys
Doktor Zymm
‘Don’t worry. I’ll tell you when to shut up.’ Zac Taylor on Joe Burrow headset insight (msn.com)
Counterpoint: YOU DO NOT SPEAK WHEN JOE BURROW IS SPEAKING! IF IT WASN’T FOR HIM, YOU’D BE A QB COACH FOR A MAC SCHOOL RIGHT NOW!
Redshirt
“Oh you hear voices in your helmet during the game too?”
– G Minhew, Van Resident, FL
blaxabbath
“Huh? Yes God? Got it. Purple Monkey dishwasher. On two.”
-T. Green, holding a burrito to his ear
LemonJello
Jaguars showing the kind of pre-emergency planning that has every single property insurance carrier in the nation abandoning the Florida market.
blaxabbath
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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
Stay busy and safe out there.
NOTE banner image from here
Aboard Delta Flight DL424
above Cheyenne, Wyoming
33000ft, 512kts, heading 062°
What’s the dog watching? Better question, the dog’s owner demand said dog deserved headphones and a sparkling wine?
The dog went up to the flight deck and I think is still flying the plane.
*waves from a few hundred miles south on AS 331*
COLORADO SUPREME COURT FROM THE TOP ROPE!!!
Curious what some of our law talking people think. I guess it would go to the SCOTUS next?
That’s what SMRT people are saying.
We know how Alito, Thomas, and Gorsuch will vote. I think it comes down to BeerBrett and Handmaid.
It’ll be interesting. Technically he was never convicted or charged with an insurrection so they have an out. However the Constitution says that each state determines how they choose their electors so they may rule they have no standing.
Either way, America is screwed and I’m hoping Ohio will be drafted by Canada in the Retraction Draft.
Better hope Ohio State hawkey suddenly gets very, very good.
Hoping somehow California gets annexed by France, complete with fast and cheap public transport to Paris.
Overheard in CO Supreme Court chambers:
(bong rip) “Hey, fuck this guy” (slow exhale)
Just killing some time at the tire center…
https://www.cbsnews.com/minnesota/pictures/minnesota-state-flag-and-seal-submissions-the-good-the-bad-and-the-loony/58/
I’m not a huge fan of the flag finalists. Someone pointed out that they look like bank logos and now that’s all I can think when I see them
I finally started watching The Expanse, and I’m certainly enjoying it, but this accent for the Belters, this weird patois/pidgin/English is just… something.
You’ll get used to it. Or turn on captions like I did when I was watching True Detective and the Cajun started getting a little thick.
I have this thing with accents/languages where I can usually understand what someone is saying and/or translate, so I picked up on this pretty quick, but it still is…. something. I’m in the middle of season 3 and it still makes me chuckle at it’s weirdness.
And now I present to you:
“The Dog Bathroom”
LAX Terminal 3
Speaking of pampered dogs, here’s one sitting in front of me in first class. The coach passengers have to file past, looking at a dog with a better seat than theirs.
This is the class struggle perfectly illustrated. One day the workers shall arise!
Smith is the tardest guy in the room.
It’s true!
But do you know who has the least accidents?
People who ride the bus.
My vote is for shut-ins or hermits.
People in iron lungs.
I mean if you name a car “RAM” you gotta expect accidents.
This has to be bullshit. There’s no way there are still 1000 Saturns on the road!
Apparently there are 344 listed for sale on cars.com right now
Check out this beaut!
https://www.cars.com/vehicledetail/6eff15d1-d45e-4173-aa60-fd4cb584951d/
Nothing says “Christmas spirit” like a three-hour documentary on the Hundred Years’ Year!
Someone find out if Litre can get a Custom Made Baby Seal Skin Leather Boots on the Ground….
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/calgary-ring-road-open-1.7062792
The existence of a Trans Canada Highway argues for the existence of a Cis Canada Highway.
Wouldn’t that be all beltways?
The Clubhouse was in fine form last week. Thanks for the roll up GTD. Now hit the pool team.
.
Love a good all night diner. Merica at its best.
Last time there was about 5 years ago. Time for a return trip.
My matzo ball soup from last night:
I had Matzo ball soup at Shermans last week. I’ve had better, but it wasn’t bad.
I think Shelley is saying that no one intentionally chooses evil and I believe she’s mistaken.
But a LOT of people choose evil thinking they’re choosing good. (See: evangelicals)
Sure but I was thinking along the lines of folks at Enron creating power outages and causing deaths or Ponzi scheme operators fiddling with life savings. Specious reasoning to promote a ‘good’ will always be with us.
Well yeah, evil pays more and has a better health plan!
It’s only communist, doesn’t support the troops, is socialism, or is woke if a lot of rich white people say so.
Rudy Giuliognia
Can I borrow a 148 million dollars?
Song must end there because Rudy Giuliani (American Traitor) doesn’t know anything about a “glove of love”.