TGIF! I was going to do a Groundhog Day spoof and just reuse last week’s post with a new title and intro, but it’s already been done.

Survival – Personal Edition

Today, we’re going to learn how make a bow and some arrows. Why buy when you’re surrounded by free wood?

• We’re going to need three (3) sticks to start. These sticks need to be of uniform thickness (not exact, but close), and between 2 and 4 feet long. You want a light, sturdy wood like bamboo, pine, ash, willow, or elm. Also consider what thickness is appropriate. Too thick and the bow will have to much resistance for your puny arms, too little and you might as well just skip to the arrows part and throw them yourself. Which again, won’t be useful with your puny arms.
• Time to cut the sticks to size. First, let’s make the longest one, which should be between 3 and 4 feet. The next one should be 3/4 the length of the first one, and the shortest one should be 1/2 the length of the first. So 4, 3, and 2 feet at the longest.
• Let’s bind the bows. Lay the shortest stick next to the longest one. Center the short stick so the ends are equidistant from the long stick’s ends. Secure them together using strong tape or rope. Lay the middle length stick on the side opposite the short one, again centering it on the long stick. Bind it to the other two using that strong tape or rope. Make a notch on each end of the long stick. This notch will be 1 inch from the end, and on the side of the short stick. This notch will anchor the bowstring, so make it as wide as that.
• Speaking of, let’s make that bowstring. You’ll a need a strong cord or braided twine, cut to about the length of the bow. You can test the strength of the bowstring by standing on one end, and pulling up on the other end. If there’s any stretch, braid in other cord. Tie a non-slip knot on one end of the bowstring.
• Drape that loop over the top of the bow and slide it below the notch you put there. Now tie the other end to the bottom of the bow, using the notch down there, using whatever standard know you prefer. Bend the bow until you can slip the top of the bowstring into the notch, then release. The bow should now be properly flexed and look like a bow.
• Now we just some ammo, aka arrows. This is easier, but you have to do it a bunch of times. Round up a bunch of straight branches. These need to be at least 2 inches longer than the distance between the bow and the bowstring when flexed. These branches need to be dried out before use. Hang them up in some kind of shelter or from a tree for 2 days in an arid climate to accomplish this. Once dried, whittle one end to a as sharp a tip as you can manage. On the other end cut a notch as wide and as deep as the bowstring.
• Time for the fletching! That’s the fins on the back of the arrow, pervert, not what you were thinking. We’re going to use duct tape for this process. Cut three lengths of the tape to 6 inches. If you’re tight on tape, you can get away with 4 inches if you’re a sharp shooter. Bend one length into a U shape with the adhesive facing outwards. Attach the curve of the U to the back of your arrow right next to the base of the notch cut there. Repeat with the other 2, spacing them 1/3 of the way around the arrow. Press the tape flaps together at the top, and continue downwards to the base of the U. When finished you should have 3 fins and the base of those fins should cover the entire arrow. Now trim those fins so the rear of the fins by the notch are the tallest, and the front tapers down to the arrow.

Now get to shooting those arrows at whatever you want, you earned it! When doing target practice, number each arrow before shooting. Keep notes for each because each arrow is going to behave a bit differently.

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Survival – Species Edition

Time to put the sexy in Friday!

Enjoy the weekend, folks! Alright, now let’s get to the comments!