Half-Arsed Saturday Thread

You know how some weeks, you wonder if it would be even theoretically possible to give less of a shit?

That is Hippo today.  And last night, when I wrote this slop.  Apologies in advance.

Early Bird Special is Everton getting its shit pushed in by City of Men (7:30, USA).  I said by not at but the mind does gravitate to that mental imagery.  There is no fucking way I am setting my alarm for that, and if my asshole brain wakes me up?  Fuck it, I shall just go to First Watch and grab some fancy (for North Cakalaky) brekkie.

USA is showing Redshite hosting Burnley in the 10:00 window, because Klopp’s bollocks just taste *THAT* good!  Stream the yeah right/Litre derby, or Luton Town and Team Knifey instead.  Live a fucking little.

Robins Hood host the Spotlight Dance (12:30, NBC), against Geordie Arabia.  BLECH.  A Toffee can’t hardly actively root for Forest points at this stage of the relegation swirl down the terlet.  But I sure as fuck ain’t losing the last scintilla of me dignity cheering for the Bonesaws.

Try again on Owl Day, with Arsenal playing the Hammers (9:00, USA), followed by Villa/Men Untied (11:30, USA).  Then, of course – the Kings of AFRIKA are crowned at 3p (BeIn).  There is no reason whatsoever to watch the Owl pre-game nonsense, and you deserve the shame you’ve EARNED if’n y’all do.

What else should we talk about today?  I am just proud of myself for turning the heat off Friday afternoon, so that maybe I won’t resort to switching the a/c on today.  My ded pappy would be proud, ah sez.  Except that he’d NEVER consider putting the a/c on in February.  It could be 95 out, and he’d have his principles.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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jjfozz

Good thing today: My mother gave me my father’s college ring to wear
Bad thing today: Had to lift my naked ass father out of his shower chair
Worse thing today: Tweaked my back.
Starting to get better thing today: Wife gave me muscle relaxer.

Doktor Zymm

I’ve only been awake for 3.5 hours, but I’m already contemplating a nap

yeah right

Still plotting out the fall trip. So many options.
Think I’ll need some tacos to help me decide.
Mmm. Al pastor street tacos.

Doktor Zymm

Just go wherever has the cheapest airfare, everywhere can be lots of fun

yeah right

I’m down to Ireland, Scotland, Croatia or Toronto so I’m obviously not locked in yet.

yeah right

Holy fuck! Those tacos were killer! We had al pastor and birria tacos, some flautas and some beans.

It was so good that I called the restaurant and thanked them.
Fucking delicious!

They’re called Tacos El Galoso and they’re right here in Pedro but I think they’ve got 4 stores here in the South Bay.

Highest, utmost recommendation.

God DAMN that was good.

More beers now.

Doktor Zymm

We just got the weather update, currently 2-4m swell with a SW wind, increasing to 5m later this afternoon. The captain told us to take care especially when opening and closing doors, presumably because getting a black eye from a door isn’t always a euphemism for domestic violence, sometimes it actually IS a door

LemonJello

Re-enacting the battle of Midway, or just out hunting U-boats, Dok?

WCS

Assault on Tarawa.

LemonJello

Watch out for the reef!

scotchnaut

I got several upvotes on a Cuse basketball site. What have you accomplished this afternoon?

WCS

I have a cat poster.

LemonJello

I drank several beers.

yeah right

Tacos!

WCS

What’s it going to take to convince someone to come here and just absolutely crush me across the lower back with a crowbar or hockey stick?

It would be greatly appreciated.

Senor Weaselo

Paging Sharky!

Doktor Zymm

Been rereading some of the Discworld books, so good

scotchnaut

Crooked Letter, Crooked Letter is hard read about racism in Mississippi disguised as a mystery. I hate how honest this book is.

yeah right

Reading the new Ron Rash “The Caretaker” and it’s been incredible. Love that guy.

Doktor Zymm

That sounds lovely

scotchnaut

Ioway basketball experiencing a resurgence surgence-the women are #2 and ISU are #14. This is what happens when booster money enters the picture and practice time isn’t interrupted by the takin’ in of the corn.

scotchnaut

They’re a bit disappointing this year-at 19-2 they’re only ranked #3 so far. Check out at least one game.

Doktor Zymm

Silly backwards southern hemisphere, where a south westerly wind is the chilly stormy one. They moved morning yoga indoors, lol

scotchnaut

Yoga classes are flexible like that.

Brick Meathook

I’ll never understand (nor forgive) Hunter S. Thompson for committing suicide by pistol in his kitchen.

What kind of mess did that make? You would need to clean it for weeks if not months, and I certainly would never eat in there again. Something could still fall from the ceiling.

He lived on a spectacular property in Colorado, and all he had to do was go out into the backyard, a mere 25 feet away, and shoot himself there, as he desired to do. The clean up would have been minimal.

If I ever get a painful terminal disease (like I watched my older sister die from) I’m going to go out to Dockweiler Beach with a pistol, but I’m going to have all my affairs in order, with informative notes for everyone, and my will, POA, and everything else in order.

I would never kill myself over depression (I truly believe that’s a mortal sin, and I’m too vain to do it anyway, and I’m also never that depressed) but if I had a painful terminal illness, with no hope of recovery, well sometimes you just gotta do the honorable thing.

But you don’t do it in the kitchen, you do it in a field or on the beach.

(For the record, my health is currently very good, despite the ozembic episode, which actually inspired this tirade)

https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/10/us/super-bowl-las-vegas-fear-loathing.html

scotchnaut

Counterpoint: Hemingway was just winging it, something you can’t relate to.

Brick Meathook

Wow that is really not pasting correctly. It’s an article in the NYT.

Doktor Zymm

So this is nothing. Still not gonna use the treadmill though, even a little bit of sideways motion makes that thing a obnoxious. I’ll read for a bit after I get my eggs then maybe try the stationary bike

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2Pack

I’d go with the elliptical.

Horatio Cornblower

I call for unrestrained panic.

2Pack

Yeah run down the hallways with a life jacket on and a terrified look on your face.

scotchnaut

[hopes that there are no events on that horizon]

2Pack

Or this crowd at the buffet line…

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Brick Meathook

Tell me when you take a roll that either makes your head hit the overhead or you kick yourself in the chin with one of your knees.

scotchnaut

Brick doing his dick-measuring thing again, against someone that ain’t got.

Brick Meathook

Thank you for your comment. Please come again. God bless.

Gumbygirl

Gumby rarely gets seasick, but surface transiting in a round bottom boat in rough water will make anyone hurl.

Horatio Cornblower

Georgetown isn’t very good at basketball anymore. Fightin’ Horatios up 25 with 4 minutes to go and Hurley is yelling at them for not playing up to standard.

Senor Weaselo

Am I posting inevitable Spyro hopium today? Oh, you bet your ass I am! (Never mind they laid off 40% of the dev company thanks to Microsoft buying Activision, closing of the office as the rest are WFH, and having to kowtow to the Maddenization and micropayment lootboxstavaganza of CoD.)

But hey, it’s Stewart Copeland!
https://youtu.be/N4i-cvK8s90?si=NZUBTp44mO7dbNuq

Fronkenshteen

Trent Alexander-Arnold -OUT. Did he get hurt or did the bug catch up with him, too?

Fronkenshteen

Now hopefully Liverpool thinks they’ve done enough to break Burnley’s spirit, goes to sleep, and gets nipped 2-1.

litre_cola

I feel like a sack of hammers. There is a reason I don’t normally drink whisky.

Fronkenshteen

*whispers very enthusiastically* 2-0 Cottagers!!!

yeah right

Nice win for your boys today, dammit.

Fronkenshteen

Just put in a modest influenza parlay on Burnley to win (+1600) with Zeki Amdouni to score (+500). Looks like whatever bug hit Liverpool’s locker room affected the backline most, and maybe Zeki can zip through whilst the new guys are all discomboobulated.

scotchnaut

Haaland has seen enough of this shit, 2-0 Man City.

scotchnaut

Art Schlichter just cannot catch a break! His car ran over something and snapped his front axle and the stupid police found a couple of crack pipes in his back pocket. Just dumb luck.

https://www.nbc4i.com/news/local-news/columbus/watch-crack-pipes-found-in-back-pocket-of-former-ohio-state-quarterback/

2Pack

Cracky is tacky

2Pack

Well not all cracky…

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WCS

I somehow completely forgot Randy Moss was on the Niners squad that lost to the Ratbirds in the Illumanti Bowl.

Don T

Moss was the “veteran leader” by that time, after being kicked off by MinnesoUta (buffet issues) and released by Tennessee (E⬅️).

scotchnaut

They’re being stingy bastards at the moment. How was your room temperature egg white smoothie?

Don T

-It’s multigrain, right?

-Sure.

-Great. Oh, plus extra bacon.

-[stops writing order] 🤨

-Atkins 🤷🏻‍♂️

Don T

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WCS

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Don T

I’m giving this melatonin gummy five more minutes. If still awake, gonna have two coffees.