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Wumbo Wednesday With Weaselo: The One He Retroactively Named

Senor Weaselo

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Well, hopefully everyone’s rested up for playoff overtime hockey. Either that or resetting the “It has been X days since Rashee Rice has gotten into a new legal issue” board. Especially as we’re in the post-draft, post-free agency doldrums. It’s all conjecture and posturing, the least newsworthy news, unless you’re sports talk radio. Which we are not. So fuck that noise.

In fun news, the Japanese restaurant that hosted MarbleCon (among the other things I just casually forgot to write about) has make a new roll in honor of the Crazy Cat’s Eyes—lightly fried whitefish, asparagus, crabmeat and eel, rolled in seaweed with miso and spicy mayo—meant to look like one of the cat’s eye marbles.

Okay then, what’s on?
More hockey!
Bear in the Woods vs. Less Crazy Cat’s Eyes (BOS vs. FLA, Bruins lead 1-0—7:30, ESPN)
Gradus Suavitatis vs. Orcanuckistan (EDM vs. VAN, Game 1—10:00, ESPN)

Kinda caring about basketball?
Multi-Stage Fitness Test vs. JB & the Metal Bat Crew (if they don’t all die, I swear) (IND vs. NYK, Knicks lead 1-0—8:00, TNT)

And also other things:
Baseball:
Snakes Alive vs. Elly & Friends (AZ vs. CIN, 6:40, FS1)

Not a ton going on football-wise, but things’ll get better at that, we swear. In the meantime, there’s apparently a guy hoping the Thunder win the championship, where he’d have a $100 three-champion pay off $1.7M (the first two legs were the Rangers winning the World Series and the Chiefs winning the Super Bowl). I hope he doesn’t get it on account of 1) my team’s still in it and 2) fuck the Vichy Sonics on principle of being the Vichy Sonics.

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Brick Meathook

On the LAX to SLC flight I asked for a scotch and it was a brand I’ve never heard of. It tasted like gasoline; I believe it was refined by Exxon or Chevron.

I gagged on it, but I finished it. It was terrible.

They came back and asked if I wanted another one.

“Sure” I said.

4
Doktor Zymm

I’m building a bar from complimentary mini bottles. Mostly Buffalo Trace, but also a couple JW Red Label and Gordon’s Gin

1
Sharkbait

You should call the bar “The Frequent Flier”

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

United? Glenfarclas. Delta? I think they only have Dewars which I know you know. American? Pretty sure they have zero scotches. Frontier? Give up.

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Brick Meathook

I’m done drinking in Utah.

On to Baltimore!

2
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Skates just tied it up

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BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

And now lead. Wow

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SonOfSpam

This is a skate. Good for them!

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Mr. Ayo

lol Eulers

1
SonOfSpam

lol loser

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SonOfSpam

Far be it for me to praise a Yankee, but Stanton hitting a HR at 119.9 mph is really fucking badass. Dude is built different (and a bit fragile sadly).

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SonOfSpam

Also, I feel like I used “far be it” wrong somehow, but I don’t care much because beer

1
Gumbygirl

No, that’s the proper usage. Always remember, Pooh, that you’re smarter than you think!

1
SonOfSpam

Thanks, and bother.

1
Senor Weaselo

Skinner falls down, puck trickles out of the trapezoid, penalty. Brilliant.

1
Sharkbait

I legit think that’s the first time I’ve ever seen that happen and get called

0
Redshirt

Words. Those are words.

2
SonOfSpam

It’s a Times Square sex thing.

2
Sharkbait

How many times have I watched the Vincent Trocheck game winner today? A lot. The answer is a lot.

3
Dunstan

I’m not sure if Kevin Weekes in that purple suit looks more like Grimace or Barney the Dinosaur

1
Senor Weaselo

Josh Hart (thanks, not X!)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMAYAMmFlXM

Last edited 1 year ago by Senor Weaselo
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Credit to the Knicks crowd, they made that game a lot more fun.

1
Horatio Cornblower

Quite the effort by the Bruins tonight. Not sure why they even bothered to show up at the rink.

1
Senor Weaselo

Damn, that ended up breaking the streak.

1
King Hippo

Who does The Canadia want in the Drill Baby Drill/Ice BC Dicks Derby?

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SonOfSpam

Leafs. Duh.

5
Sharkbait

Can’t wait for the Leafs to run it back with a different coach and expect the same result.

3
Redshirt

Well, I guess when it comes to the estimated gentlelady from the Commonwealth of Georgia, the empress has no clothes.

(mental image of Majorie Taylor Greene naked)

And now I’m gay.

6
Redshirt

Release the Edit privileges, Uniparty Elitiests!

1
Brick Meathook

I just boarded a flight from LAX to Salt Lake City and Jeopardy! host Ken Jennings is sitting in front of me.

6
Mr. Ayo

Loudly say, “Who is the host of Jeopardy?”

2
Brick Meathook

I’m going to keep kicking the back of his seat.

5
Gumbygirl

He has it coming, the smug little prick!

0
SonOfSpam

Ask him why he ducked me and Horatio.

4
Mr. Ayo

NAWT FAHHH! NO ONE UNDERSTAHHS ARE SUFFERING!

1
Mr. Ayo

This match needs more fighting.

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Mr. Ayo

148 penalty minutes! Damn!

1
Horatio Cornblower

Someone on the Bruins needs to ends Tkachuk’s career on Friday.

0
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Doing my quarterly restart of my work laptop. This should go well.

2
Brick Meathook

I’m sitting in the Delta Club at LAX right now getting hammered before my 7:30PM flight. The great part is I’m the pilot and I don’t have to pay and I can boss everyone around.

4
Mr. Ayo

Don’t forget those pills for maximum flight fun

4
Don T

Lt. Blow is my copilot. By which I mean cocaine. No EEOC crap, ok?

2
Horatio Cornblower

Do a barrel-roll.

2
Brick Meathook

I’ve been around for a few years and I have a pretty good education, but I have never once heard of a fucking brain worm.

2
Gumbygirl

“Worms ate a big chunk of my brain, so vote for me for president!” This simulation we’re living in is getting stupider by the minute. I’m gonna go smoke some weed.

1
Redshirt

I know the Bengals have Alex Karras’s son as Center, but by the looks of it, the Seahawks have Mongo’s son in to tryout as QB.

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3
LemonJello

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King Hippo

Germany!

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Gumbygirl

Maybe it’s a Make-A-Wish thing?

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King Hippo

My work e-mail is “transitioning to the cloud” Friday night, meaning I will be completely without e-mail for like 18 hrs…if everything goes WELL.

Plus then I have to install new apps for my Samsung phone and tablet…fucking eat all the shit, May 2024.

Last edited 1 year ago by King Hippo
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Mr. Ayo

Have some consideration for the poor IT folks spending their Friday night and entire weekend doing this work. I fucking hate those weekends.

2
King Hippo

oh yeah, I really focus my ire on management for doing overhauls like this. Can’t we just buy more server farm whatevers??

Last edited 1 year ago by King Hippo
2
King Hippo

(I really, REALLY no understand how data works)

2
Mr. Ayo

Yeah, don’t bother worrying about it. No one’s paying you to figure out how and where to host email, for good reason.

1
LemonJello

“AIN’T NO WAY IN HAYULL DAT MY EMAILS ARE GUNNA TRANSITION! NOT IN NORTH-BY-GOD CACKALACKY, NO SUH, THIS WILL NOT STAND!”

8
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Curious to see if the refs will bend over backwards on behalf of Indiana given how badly they shafted them at the end of Game 1.

0
Senor Weaselo

Another (non-Nova or OG) Knick will mysteriously get injured. Let’s say… Deuce.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Haven’t seen Brunson for a while, hope you didn’t jinx him…

0
Senor Weaselo

This is why I said Deuce!

0
fleshwound_NPG

Biden says he will stop sending bombs and artillery shells to Israel if they launch major invasion of Rafah
https://www.cnn.com/2024/05/08/politics/joe-biden-interview-cnntv/index.html

“major” invasion, huh.

the last time “biden” and “major” were in the same story someone got bit in the ass

(miss hearing about that dog biting people)

5
Redshirt

Someone send that dog to the Isreali War Cabinet. We can cut through Gaza to clean up Hamas on the way out.

4
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Then maybe catch up with Kristi Noem when she’s unarmed, like at the airport or something. See how tough she is without one of her precious guns.

3
King Hippo

Poor Diamond Joe is in an absolutely thankless position here. There’s no easy or right answer, for a situation that’s massively fucked up (even my Middle Eastern standards).

2
Redshirt

Yup. You can’t risk playing hardball with Netanyahu without losing voters. You can’t risk waiting for Israel to raze or annex Gaza without losing voters.

I’d make a Bay of Pigs joke here but it wouldn’t really be kosher.

Only hope is for the Israeli people to get tired of the war.

2
Senor Weaselo

It really makes you think. Specifically it makes me think, “Hmm, do I count as a war profiteer considering the couple shows I did that were for some sort of Israeli humanitarian efforts?”

1
King Hippo

Plus, Netanyahu is an untrustworthy fuckweasel. Joe knows, and Bibi knows he knows.

I wouldn’t be at all surprised if the strategy was to draw the conflict out (to keep the campus weirdo protests going), while doing JUST enough feints to keep Biden sweet. That way, he maxes out his chances to get his idiot sockpuppet Murrikan Fuhrer back.

There is absolutely fuckshit that can be done, other than what IS being done, that doesn’t blow the Demmycratic coalition to smithereens. Go look at the polling numbers on American Jews’ views of these protests. Can’t win without the Jewish vote, in a vain attempt to get the “I want MY PONY” campus vote back (nothing he does will materially improve that situation, he can only rake step).

4
Redshirt

Israel has done enough to win. They’ve proven they can destroy Palestine if they wanted to. They’ve proven they can defend against Iran.

All they need to do is tell Palestine to disavow Hamas, renounce violence and return the hostages alive or dead and this is over. We can return to the Two State Solution later but Palestine needs to earn that back.

Now I’m going to wait for Emma Stone and Anya Taylor-Joy to drop by, because if I’m talking about stuff unlikely to happen, I shoot for the moon.

6
King Hippo

Biden’s messenging on the “two state” inevitable, however difficult, solution has been outstanding.

Like any other of his foreign policy successes, he gets no credit for it.

3
Redshirt

If this was 2016 Biden, this election would be over and Trump would be in Russia begging for asylum from Daddy Vladdy.

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

You give too much credit to the American electorate but yes

0
Redshirt

If Bush could win twice again Captain Charisma
I and II, Vintage Biden could’ve also won.

0
Horatio Cornblower

“I support and will defend Israel’s right to exist. What I cannot and will not support is an attack that kills thousands of innocent women and children while also razing their homes and infrastructure, all in pursuit of a goal that cannot be accomplished.”

I dunno man, seems like a pretty easy position to take.

1
LemonJello

It’s a shame no one has found a reason to deport Marchand.

1
Brick Meathook

The news cycle today is incredibly weird.

1
LemonJello

Which country’s government did you overthrow this time, Brick?

2
Redshirt

(crossing fingers – hoping for America)

2
Brick Meathook

Which one do you want?

0
LemonJello

Not any of those desert ones.

1
Redshirt

Media: “Biden is old, he has a malfunctioning brain, inflation is high, there are at least two World War 3 powder kegs with the fuses lit, and the only Trump case that is going to happen this year makes ‘My Cousin Vinny’ look like ‘A Few Good Men’. This is causing the American public to consider giving another chance to Pres—“

Marge Greene: “I WANT THE ATTENTION!”

2
Senor Weaselo

I figured it was because we could put RFK Jr.‘s brain worm on the list of things I’d vote for over Agent Orange.

2
Brick Meathook

The brain worm is the king of today’s weird news.

0
King Hippo

I mean, nothing that weirdo fuckhead could say would be newsworthy to me. Somebody who thinks vaccines make you retarded…will believe absolutely anything.

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