Good Monday Morning to you folks.  I’m writing this while icing and heating a likely sprained ankle, and getting ready to address that issue with alcohol and painkillers, the nightcap of champions everywhere.

I had a beer and I’ll probably take an Ibuprofen before bed.  I’d like another beer, but I want water even more.  Truly global warming has gone too far.

Nonetheless, I have a job to do, and that job (which is to keep you from doing your job through most of Monday) must go on no matter how injured I might be.  You know who else feels that way?  Bad coaches, that’s who!

Last week we drafted people we’d want to coach for our various teams.  I think it was BFC who asked if we could draft bad coaches, and my responses was it wasn’t that kind of a draft.

But it is this week!

That’s right folks, get ready to draft people you wouldn’t want near a team you rooted for under any circumstances whatsoever.  Rich Kotite in the featured image should give you an idea of what we’re looking for:  Someone in so far over their head they have no chance of clearing the water before sinking to a watery grave, and taking your franchise’s hopes with them for at least 3-5 years.

Rich Kotite remains eligible to be drafted, something our Jets fans, (do we have any of those?  one of them?), will no doubt delight in.

A reminder, because it’s become apparent we, and by we I mean ‘you people’ and by you people I mean illegal imm…uhm, the DFO readership, need one:  wait 10 picks or one-half hour before making your next pick.  Don’t make me yell at you, my ankle hurts.

With my first pick I am going to not take Mike McCarthy, but instead this jagoff:

Urban Meyer was a fantastic college coach, especially when it came to either covering up or being so blind to misbehavior that even Helen Keller would have said, “hey, keep an eye on that Aaron Hernandez fella, he seems like a bad egg!” but when he got to the pros Meyer was so bad that his attempted finger-blasting of a coed (after his team lost on the road and Meyer elected to stay in Cincinnati rather than go back to Jacksonville with the team which, to be fair, is probably one of his better decisions), wasn’t even what got him fired.  Nope, Meyer’s abbreviated tenure with the Jaguars lasted 11 months and may have included such gems as

• hiring a strength and conditioning coach who almost immediately resigned when allegations of bullying and general racist behavior surfaced;
• running up $300K in fines for violating practice rules;
• “dancing in close contact” with a woman not his wife in an Ohio bar after the Jags lost 24-21 to the Bengals;
• alienating players and coaches by being a general dick to them;
• actually kicking a player(!), although it is true the player was only a kicker.  Meyer denied kicking Lambo, and after all he is such an obvious paragon of virtue; and
• then capping it all off by going 2-11.

Meyer also allegedly covered up multiple failed drug tests and general bad behavior by Aaron Hernandez, (hey, what happened to that guy?), although he absolutely denies ever having done so, and would Urban Meyer lie to make himself look good and/or avoid any consequences?  That’s for you to decide.  Myself, I wouldn’t be thrilled about a coach who (allegedly) did these things and went 11-2, but to (allegedly) do those things and go 2-11?  Well, all I can say is, Urban Meyer…

The rest of you are on clock.