Mo nday Night Open Thread – Home Again, Home Again, Jiggety Jig

Evening.  This will be short, ugly, and unfulfilling much like my first wedding night.  Back home, rabbits are alive and were well cared for by the sitters, still have some sort of respiratory infection that the tests insist is not nuAIDs (and yes, I did wear a mask while in public and on the plane), and there is no food in the house.  Thank the goddess of technology (yes, goddess as Necessity is the Mother of Invention) for DoorDash.  I am currently hopped up on dayquil, Hall’s Throat Lozenges, BC Powders, and a really nice strain of weed called Forbidden Sushi – good stuff, it is the one I will be starting my weed diary “Chronic Chronicles” with as an excellent strain.  The only “good’ thing about this is my voice now sounds like Barry White, with my singing being a bit adnoidal, I was told I sounded like the Long Island Barry White.  Sounds like the name for a great lounge act.

Anyway, I am so looking forward to the season starting (what do you mean what season you philistine) and I can once again bask in the goodness of the Monday Night Football broadcast.  Anytime I say to myself, I won’t watch that game as it will suck, I will remind myself I could be watching a Trump rally – the stupid decisions, the air of violence just awaiting to be unleashed, trash talking the opposition, incoherent commentary that bears only a passing resemblance to the reality before your eyes – so yes I welcome back the NFL!  Even a Cards vs. Chargers game is better than no football.

As for tonight – Olympics, Baseball is sure to be on somewhere, and oh yeah, the WNBA.

Hope to see you in the comments below where I may show up, based on illness and medication allowing.

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ArmedandHammered
Mid 50's geek/nerd, avid reader of Science Fiction and Fantasy, manga, Chinese Web novels, and British mysteries, cult movies are my thing (have you seen Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter?)
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scotchnaut

Spain/Greece basketball is down to the wire.

WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJFe4EaM27I

Hilarious watching this. Good to see the youngins learning right.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Watching this NBC segment on a Romanian swimmer takes me back to 1984…

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SonOfSpam

I definitely remember the McDonald’s game; they had a lot of Weightlifting and Archery game pieces so they wouldn’t lose too much money. That was a bitchin summer.

BugEyedBoo

My brothers and I ate McDonald’s for a month straight when that happened. They weren’t supposed to honor more than one per order, but they just wanted them out of their system.

WCS

Your brother was Morgan Spurlock?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Aw. Made me sad to hear about how he drank himself to death. Why can’t Rudy Giuliani do that?

rockingdog

Also this is kinda rocking

It’s a Trump Bumper Sticker generator

https://littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/lgf-trump-bumpersticker-generator.php

rockingdog

Last funny:

Only way the “weird” stuff can go bad is if people just stick with the word “weird” and don’t play around with it in the next few weeks. It’s the spirit of it, not the word itself.

There’s jazz in this. You have to feel it. TJ Maxx moms should be comfortable calling them perverts by Labor Day.

Game Time Decision

So tonight was game night for me.
It was championship night and the lacrosse team I’m on was in the gold final. In a tight game we lost 6-5 in about 20 seconds of overtime (sudden death).
The next game was short players so ( I stupidly) played again. This time the team I was on lost in double overtime.
Which is worse, losing quickly or after an OT period or 2? Both suck in different ways.
/note that my teammates went out for drinks after the game and made fun of me, rightly, for not wining either game tonight

SonOfSpam

Next time, you should try to win.

/types stuff, ass continues to grow unabated

Game Time Decision

It’s not like we didn’t have our chances in regulation, we just hit a few posts instead of goals.

2Pack

You were in the arena. You never lose when you are there. You struggle and you learn.
You don’t learn as much when you win, but a loss teaches you. It makes you a better person.

Caveman me says every young man should, at least once, play a sport that requires a mouth piece, and also preferably, a cup. That informs you as a man.

ballsofsteelandfury

Totally true

2Pack

nothing humbles you, like getting beat by someone you underestimated.

SonOfSpam

Yeah I’ll never forget the surprise and pride the first time my kid punched me back. I think she was nine.

Game Time Decision

Definitely wear a cup. At least once a season the shot goes off the post and hits my cup. While no longer concerned about making more GTD’s I’m good with less pain

And yes, just happy to be able to run around still. It’s just a fun way to get my steps in now. My main focus is to not get (more) hurt and then don’t hurt anyone else.

2Pack

Don’t slow down, you never get old…

Horatio Cornblower

Buddy, you may have missed the earlier piece today but I just climbed a mountain that involved one mile of scrambling up, over, through, and then back down boulders. While I did it, the main takeaway I got from it is that I am old, and my knees are older.

2Pack

That builds character too Buddy, well done. Top of the world feeling > taking a shot to the mouth piece feeling.

WCS

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Horatio Cornblower

Technically you lose every time the other team scores more points than you.

WCS

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Horatio Cornblower

Flavor Flavor apparently found out that the US women water polo players have to work outside of water polo so he became a sponsor of the team to help out and, much like the Grinch, my heart has grown three sizes upon hearing this news.

https://x.com/MrChuckD/status/1817659274727723212

SonOfSpam

I like how you use his formal name.

Game Time Decision

*FlavoUr

Horatio Cornblower

I hate autocorrect so much.

rockingdog

Hahahaha!
That’s Rocking!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A lot of people talk about how disrespectful it was for a bunch of Senators to fly to Moscow to meet with Vladimir Putin on the 4th of July, but I think that pales in comparison to the time a Senator fucked a couch on Don’t Fuck a Couch Day.

Doktor Zymm

On my calendar, every day is Don’t Fuck a Couch Day

SonOfSpam

Most of my calendar says that, but Wednesdays are Wacky and anything goes.

Horatio Cornblower

Even Leap Year!?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Even during Smarch?

SonOfSpam

He was SO disappointed when he found out what dolphin shorts are.

rockingdog

Found a funny:

If we could get one extremely Bostonian guy to yell “hey look the genital inspector’s here” at the right Vance photo op it could change the course of history

ballsofsteelandfury

THERE IS A HORSE IN THE EQUESTRIAN EVENT CALLED FALCO !!

SonOfSpam

I-WANT-HAY-US I-WANT-HAY-US
I-WANT-HAY-US I-WANT-HAY-US
I-WANT-HAY-US I-WANT-HAY-US
OH OH OH I-WANT-HAY-US

Horatio Cornblower

Better than a horse in a hospital

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JhkZMxgPxXU

Doktor Zymm

On the plane back from Sydney, a fun visit although too much of it was spent doing work for some job I probably won’t get (takehome project)

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Did you go to any of the bars I recommended?

SonOfSpam

She already posted that she enjoyed The Dong but that Ramm Rodd was a bit much.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

400 Meters of Summer!

(Canadian lass won the 400m IM)

Gumbygirl

She’s going to get a bunch more before she’s done, I predict Nostradamusly.

WCS

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fFqnGrpuw5Y

Ladies, gentlemans, and fellow DFO degenerates, it’s my great pleasure to welcome Kamala Harris’ official band for the 2024 campaign season!

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WCS
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“In Soviet Russia, couch fucks you!”

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

You haven’t?

Horatio Cornblower

Damn, here I thought that was just all the crab we were eating in Baltimore.

Gumbygirl

We called it the Boat Stink. I would recognize it instantly, and I’m sure I always will.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How high is Joseph Gordon Levitt?

Gumbygirl

I, too, am a boulder.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Shit, went downstairs to eat, I’m bummed I missed that.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Left the stream running to keep the numbers up though!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

150k participants, apparently

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s awesome. I never saw the viewer count get higher than 66k but that might just have been viewers at one time.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Only criticisms are that everyone needed to tighten up on time and 10pm is not when you bring out the academic. I’m out, see y’all later

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I wish I hadn’t missed Mark Hamill.

WCS

“Same.”

— Darth V., somewhere near what’s left of the Death Stars I & II

Horatio Cornblower

Color guy getting increasingly angry at the American men for not nailing their floor routines is pretty funny.

litre_cola

There is 1 spot left in the Lowratio league. I can nae find the link for whoever the lucky last imaginary human wants in.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Heh, hearing Sean Astin mention the flight attendant’s union reminded me of that time Elon Musk offered to buy a horse for one in exchange for a handjob.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I can see why people are high on Walz as a VP option, he’s got that KSK Rex Ryan type energy.

King Hippo

He might done knocked Beshear off my list of two (Shapiro of PA still #1)

Horatio Cornblower

The only strategy is taking someone who will (maybe) carry a swing state. Kelly out of AZ is one who comes to mind, but AH is right that if the VP makes the difference against Trump you’re probably already fucked.

scotchnaut

“High on Walz?” Rikki aged into Lawrence Welk so fast…”

Horatio Cornblower

/starts blowing bubbles

//shut it.

rockingdog

Yea he seems rocking.
Also I read recently that
North Carolina Gov Roy Cooper is out of the running now…
Might double check that tomorrow…

King Hippo

The White Ppls demand Baby Buster!! (aka Tony Hale) [ok, or also Jared Goff]

rockingdog

That would be Rocking!

rockingdog

Josh Gadd!
Hahahaha!
That’s Rockingggggg!

Horatio Cornblower

I want to take an inner tube down the Olympic kayaking course.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The kayaking slalom was fucking insane

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wow, Josh Gad was really good.

Redshirt

Stupid Bi-Polar Reds! Time for another round of “We’re Back!”/“It’s Over!” with the fanbase.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-k5J4RxQdE&pp=ygUZcmFiYml0IHNlYXNvbiBkdWNrIHNlYXNvbg%3D%3D

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Pritzker going right into the JD Vance couch jokes just moved him up my preference list for VP

Dunstan

I don’t know, those jokes all feel pretty Laz-Y-Boy now

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The good news is he flipped the script and did some dolphin jokes too.

fleshwound_NPG

there are electric la z boys that can double as a vibrator for him!

Unsurprised

I saw the Google ad where Gemini writes a girl’s fan letter to an Olympian. I hope the Internet crashes and Silicon Valley is wiped from the Earth by God’s Wrath.

fleshwound_NPG

good news is that there is a far greater than zero chance the dumb asshole nerds do it to themselves

Downfield Matriculator

See my rant in the earlier thread — fucksticks should all be provided with AI girlfriends so they leave the rest of us alone

Redshirt

They would be too scared to start the program.

Horatio Cornblower

I haven’t seen this ad yet, (it may have been pulled based on the total hatred I’ve seen expressed towards it), but I still agree with your proposals re: the internet and Silicon Valley.

Might you have a newsletter I could subscribe to?

WCS

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Bradley Whitford should bring his friends and play a show for several for Harris.

Wait, what..?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Have you ever seen both Bradley Whitfords in the same place at the same time? SUSPICIOUS

BrettFavresColonoscopy

No one asked me but I think they should have called this Honkeys for Harris

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Though I do think Bradley Whitford talking about the diversity of white dudes on this call makes “a rainbow of beige” is fucking hilarious.

King Hippo

At this stage, we might see FREDBIRD FOAR HARRIS

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You know damn well Fredbird is MAGA

King Hippo

nah, I showed him the spam text I got earlier today proclaiming “TRUE progressives know all cops are pigs (ncluding Kamala)” and he’s all in.

fleshwound_NPG

is crackers for kamala a tad too much

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Not for this cracker

King Hippo

Kamala’s Kracker Korral??

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Did you switch from St Louis to Arizona Cardinals there, Kliff?

Horatio Cornblower
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m watching Roy Cooper speak right now (on this stream: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dnnKXuYcDU0) and it’s hard to take him seriously thanks to .

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Bradley Whitford now!

Downfield Matriculator

US Women’s Hoops vs Japan in the 2nd half be like:

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rockingdog

Actor Jeff Bridges & singer Josh Groban have both been on this White Dudes for Harris call so far!!!
Hahaha!
That’s Rockingggg!!!

WCS

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Last edited 1 month ago by WCS
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Not gonna lie, I was not expecting The Dude to show up on this White Dudes For Harris campaign call

fleshwound_NPG

karl hungus must’ve fixed the cable

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hungus wouldn’t vote, he believes in nothing.

Hippo’s governor is speaking next if y’all want to check it out at https://whitedudesforharris.com/

fleshwound_NPG

singers, or anybody with voice problems, you need some rehab work done to help your vocals?

get a vibrator!

https://www.instagram.com/thecharismaticvoice/reel/C-BXIEtSsCu/

WCS

https://www.wpxi.com/news/local/police-investigating-alleged-anti-semitic-graffiti-left-multiple-pittsburgh-area-synagogues/ZEQ2AD2N55CE5JUHHQ5MGKVNZI/

Took this call. Weird to see it make the news so quickly.

EDIT: For the record, mine was the call about the Chabad graffiti. I didn’t know how extensive it was until hours later.

Last edited 1 month ago by WCS
scotchnaut

This is a Patty Pan squash. My wife loves them.

https://www.google.com/search?sca_esv=ae95a0e0aab0d175&sca_upv=1&q=patty+pan+squash&udm=2&fbs=AEQNm0DPvcmG_nCbmwtBO9j6YBzM68ZanC7g01Skprhw5JoufVCiMv-hxC44jt6JduRQysBab-bgQXjPraaWFXMvOy8Kr1OAG3K-aj3De4zf3-LxKtkBtWaSCp743evHzhY6J0rIQUCXki65vOxhV0cGJtj0S1dF8YREnKrWtJctBkTv8-bs83YpB7p3IMTdYvjisDEty1xSxeLS4B_TKFXUiCrenmEMcA&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwi1xoLkr82HAxXdtokEHdhvGwUQtKgLegQIDBAB&biw=1536&bih=730&dpr=1.25#vhid=Kfn_Vn8M7WdFxM&vssid=mosaic

Wife: “Can you find some for me?”

Me: “I’ll try my best. [later] I found some! (told her that it was 5lbs for $52 according to the price list I tracked down)

Wife: “That’s amazing! Will you help me cook and can them?”

Me: “Of course!”

[a 25lb case comes in at $24!!]

Wife: “You’re still going to help me, right?”

Me: [smiles] “Yes, yes I will.”

Redshirt

Well I may as well tune into the Reds game, as some of these guys will be playing in different colors in the next few days.

WCS

The Pittsburgh Pirates Experience since 1993!

Redshirt

The one thing that Pittsburgh and Cincinnati sports fans can relate to:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yBg99mH8pyA&pp=ygUXbWlsaG91c2Ugd2hlbiBkb3ZlcyBjcnk%3D