As I write this I’m looking up.

  Is this where it ends or is it about to begin?

14 years of melancholy and uninspired disenchantment ends right bloody now.

SEEK THE WITCHES AS FORETOLD.

Most of the teams in (looking right at you no quarterback Raiders) the N.F.L. are up there in the light navigating into positive futures, but once again New Orleans? Down here in the lost and forgotten pile. Palms held up to the sky, confused looks on their sad, well-fed faces. Forced yet again to ask, ask what happened? Where are we going and will there be beer?

Say it with me, February the 10th 2010. Fourteen (by Super Owl 15) years later and back to the beginning of the end? Followed by dreaming of a nightmare? Trying to make time sleep, no, more than sleep, disappear.

World (dirty word) Champions. Lot of teams can’t claim such a lofty title but New Orleans can.

One more time, Oh I just insist and since you are reading and at my whim, WORLD (more swearing here is appropriate but I choose not to) CHAMPIONS! Should I drop a say, Bitches?

You can’t even dare dream that bold for if you do your mind will be smashed, vaporized or some other real scary stuff will happen. Fifteen years and counting without nary a chance for this shit wagon to even get a sniff of “Playoffs?” a pro football championship again, EVER!

Best not hold onto those memories. The road to a limp franchise lies just ahead.

That title is stupid, hasn’t nothing already ended?

Welcome to paying top dollar to see what for 35 years “WAS” an elite, top ranked ( Hell I ain’t lying you can look it up your damn selves) outfit look ridiculous. Just like last season and the one before and the oh for god’s sake stop already, we get it.

Dog excreta?

THE HARBINGERS ARE EVERYWHERE

Just like Divine in that John Waters film? Great, who’s in?

The once proud organization lies in ruin and defeat. Bloodied and left for dead at the bottom of a secretion containment device. Walking around in a cloud of desperation, depression, of longing, sadness, filth, thought, fear, dread, desire of wanting to (all while wearing a soiled undergarment) simply hear better music.

Can we please start with some modicum of positivity? Please consider the children and I think Kewpie’s been drinking.

Kewpie’s on a toot again?

Football, what’s a football? Thank you Jean Shepherd.

I’ll try.

I’ll start with the offense.

“Key” losses include Michael (To be fair hasn’t done much in 3 years) Thomas.Thank you for your service, now leave. Some parting but not very nice gifts await. Also gone, offensive line stalwart Andrus Peat and stop giggling, Jameis Winston.

With the problems of highly (bust so far) drafted Trevor Penning at left tackle the brain trust decided with “collective (Ah they were drunk) heads” to move him to right tackle. Where he has exactly ZERO experience (looked stupid and lost in the first preseason game) and start the rookie draft choice Taliese Fugua on the left side instead, neat.

They also popped a stiffy for shall we say a “lesser” of the brothers by going after, get this Eguanimeous St Brown the little known brother of game wrecker Detroit Lion Amon Ra. Hold on not done yet, they also went after the Rams break out star Puca Nacua’s unheard of (until now) brother Samson.

Here it is appropriate to giggle.

Sometimes the light moves, floats and then just a slight shift then I’m over there again but no one sees.

Honesty and integrity have been tried and failed. Now blood boils in the cauldron and the answer to the problem has been ascertained. Tangible enough to touch with your mind’s fingers.

Fire the David Carr and remove, post haste that evil swine of a coach Dennis (wishes he had a bigger package) Allen. If tears fall so they must. Let them dry into the dust and become one with the long forgotten.

THE MASSES HAVE GATHERED. THE TIME IS NOW. THE FEAR IS BREATHING.

An augury of evil floats around your eyes in a mad dash to eat your sanity.

Offense 12th overall, who cares? How about you win some damn ball games

Pass: 10th

Rush 22nd

Best of all, 29th giving (third worst for you first timers) up sacks. I know, suck it!

Dancing on glass with delightful stupidity

Wow, that was fun, so let’s try defense?

OH NO, NOW YOU’VE DONE IT

GIRL, ABOUT TO TAKE MY WIG OFF AND GET UP IN SOME ASSES!

13th overall Who cares, how about you win some damn……..

Pass 11th

Rush 21 But

18 interceptions good for seventh overall and let’s not forget the 9 forced fumbles good for, wait for it, 29th. But hold on it gets (liar) better. An abysmal 34 sacks generated by the front 7 on the season.

Let’s let that soak in for a moment. 34? I’ve seen teams do that in a day, also good for a sweet overall 29th.

Key gains? Chase Young signed as a free agent and is said to really be turning heads in training camp.

Also stud linebacker Willie Gay came over from KC which puts him next to Demario Davis and Pete Werner. Not seen since the days of “Dome Patrol” back in the 80’s has the linebacker core looked this formidable. If everyone stays healthy they should have a rock solid front seven.

A jigsaw puzzle with several parts missing.

Blood on my hands blood on my soul blood stains my Saints tickets blood in my shoes.

Parts that might help explain why the puzzle was worth assembling in the first place

The laughter of evil screams through the night.

Now they did not ask me if this is okay, it isn’t.

Just as I see the magic it disappears. Opening day is just weeks away and still this? I’m Spiritually exhausted.

I know something that will help, give me that grenade will ya?

Or is this how it begins?

This could be the second worst team in the league this year. Looking straight into the depths of the 5-12 abyss.

The future is about to begin for the door to open and then slam closed with much displeasure on old D.A. will happen by week 6 followed immediately by joy and orgasms for all.

Next David (heaping pile of not good stuff) Anus Cookie will fall and be permanently shipped off to damn that really hurt island for a stay of no less than 3 millennia.

If lucky they could be middle of the pack yet again. Solid defense, a pissed off Alvin (and nobody wants one of them things) and a deep core of receivers.

Beer and weed fueled delusion afoot.

Anus Cookie really does get hurt and just when all seems lost, suddenly there floating on the horizon, what should appear?

Is that? no couldn’t be

Spencer? Is that you?

It is, It’s true. And he done brought his Rattler with him?

Well the whooping and hollering that followed turned right into a spellbinding cacophony and scared all the demons right back into that icky heaven place.

Shoot, a feller has to have a dream or if not he damn sure enough will have nightmares.

Now everyone join in. And a one and a two…

D J TAJ 08/2024

I feel I simply must apologize.My drawing has improved a touch but my words and the way I put them together? Still seem to be a bit lost.

That tattoo looks mighty familiar.

Thank you for baring up during these trying moments. I love Jean Shepherd and John Waters. Fuck Donald Trump.