Although I’m writing this Sunday morning at 9:45 EST, I’m fairly confident I’ll be 0-2 in both Math Hard! and Freezer Vodka-I know my limits. Hope you’re doing better than I am.
To The Game!
Bears/Houston:
-The Caleb I saw in preseason did not match the one that played in the opener. The latter seemed flummoxed by defensive coverages which is to be expected one would think. Still, he was certainly more decisive in his reads and throws in that preseason tilt.
-As one would expect, Keenan Allen is injured already with a heel thingy. The rook Rome Odunze also had some problems but may be able to go. Luckily Chicago is fairly deep at wr and D.J. Moore is more than capable of handling some extra work.
-Accuracy, thy name is Stroud. If his completion rate reaches 75% this evening he will be only the second fella (Brady was the first, of course) to reach that number in four straight games.
-Mixon made me look like a smart hominid (not an easy thing to do!) when I ventured that a change of scenery would rejuvenate him. He was the first rb to run for 150+ yards and a TD on the opening weekend since Arian Foster did it in the year of our Goodell, 2010. Let’s not burden the old fella with 30 touches again though, okay?
-Chicago got the win last week but it was far from conventional. Depending on TD returns and pick sixes to dig oneself out of a 17 point deficit is not something that can be done on the regular. Should they be jockeying for a wild card berth towards the end of the season they can thank their unlikely Week One win for keeping them in the mix.
Type your life away.
texans want another calebception
Headbutt fumble!
What an odd game. Stlll 2/3 of the 4th remaining, the 500’s dominating, but they’re only up 9? One bad bounce and this game could easily flip.
As I was saying!
SUDDEN CHANGE!
Tomlin Voodoo gives the Stillers added edge to make this a “winning” strategy. There is no other explanation.
the bears entire 2025 draft needs to be all lineman or else they are committing football terrorism
I hope Caleb enjoys crippling painkiller addiction as much as Hippo enjoys his
I wonder if an offensive line would help?
Not sure, but I’ll try:
Your mother is a great cocksucker!
Bears got a fumble recovery… It worked!!!
20th century: “siskel and ebert gave it two thumbs up!”
21st centruy: “some assholes online said it was fresh!”
More like “a studio-owned website made some asshole pick rotten or fresh to go with what was probably a dog shit review anyway.
David Manning of the Ridgefield Press agrees.
the Chi**** front 7 really looks good
with random exceptions, it has been this way since about 1984
Which is odd, seems like that should be the hardest area to fix/sustain, it just requires such physical freaks
they are a dumber version of the stillers (WAY less offense, somehow)
Bears GM: “I wish I make a trade that looks absolutely brilliant and fleeces the Panthers.”
/monkey’s paw curls
So we’re not doing Dell or Chase or phrasing anymore? I’d really like to keep Dell and Chase but especially phrasing! I totally had something for this
Oh man
BEARISTOCRATS!
See, I was right to not watch any NFL yet
watching bears games do not count as watching nfl football
This isn’t the NFL, it’s the Bears.
counterpoint – NO!
justin fields would not have made that throw
(because he would have ran for it…until he fumbled)
taking the sack woulda been better
So many guys without rhythm
I feel attacked.
At least you won’t attract the worm.
look, im not saying caleb williams not having a td pass until week 3 would be the most bears thing ever, but
It’s Bearish
well there goes his td pass…
No One said it had to be a Bears TD
Not trying to cope, BUT Rome was mugged in the end zone tonight and Allen had a rare drop last week.
I’m up to 50% with that Nico Collins catch!
I feel like that entire 3rd quarter is just a low-quality implanted memory
The Bears: Frontal Lobotomies or Your Offense is Free!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkt9TIdpvrY
This is a close game but can’t really call it a good one.
all just a simulation inside a simulation
There are about 5 NFL head coaches who don’t seem like sociopaths, and DeMeco Ryans is one of the 5
The biggest Fantasy Football pick up next week will be “Yellow Flag”
Tonight’s refs seem to be paid by the BLEERGH
This 3rd quarter has lasted longer than the entire Saints / Cowboys game.
Holy shit. It is still the 3rd quarter.
yay, it is finally NAWT the 3rd quarter!
I mean, to be fair, the Bears always face a lot of challenges, so it’s understandable their coaches feel they can waste them.
Accenture and reinvention… Yes lets remind folks you had to change your name because Enron
how do you think they learned reinvention
“I heard that!”
The inventor of Haiti’s national dish
Am I hearing “Let’s Go Bears” being chanted in Houston?
I mean, Houston doesn’t have a team, what else would be chanted during a game
The Ghost of Lovie Smith is strong.
He’s still hiding in the lake tunnels from The Relic (movie version)
each challenge MOAR STOOPIDER than the last!
another stupid challenge
lovie smith is eternal
Lovie Smith = 3 am
I don’t mind watching that replay a few more times though, it’s clearly not a catch but still fun to watch!
NAWT
Any lingering resentment Fields had over leaving Chicago will be gone after he watches this game
they were gone the moment he met tomlin, and saw the defense
Oh fuck no
caleb wants to be dead like the pac-12
I was driving yesterday and realized I had driven down the same street a week ago and it felt like no time had passed. The creeping hand of death appeared, but it was just someone begging for change.
That’s awesome that you saw Todd Marinovich, but it’s sad to hear he’s looking so rough. He must be feeling pretty low now that blaxabbath is snaking all his waves.
It was dark so it took me a minute. But it’s almost time for him to migrate south for the winter.
better get to that 2nd progression a little faster, Caleb
bears fans 2023: justin fields is too slow on his progressions, get caleb
bears fans 2024: oh no
What a dumbass
I feel like I have been concussed cause I thought today was Sunday night. Turns out its Thursday…. Work is going to be pissed!
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
fucking slide you idiot
you deserve that
delay of game after a commercial
how.
Delay of Commercial after game
Punishment for cutting the commercial break short.
“That would be the death penalty. Don’t fuck with the money.” — Roger Goodell
The ad revenue must flow
Lisan al-Goodell
this has certainly been a 3rd quarter
It last 15 minutes and immediately followed halftime.
This checks out
Pass Interference, or just a poor attempt to start a conga line?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EhZba-P7R18
I’ve never seen this video before. Was that bill murray around 2 minutes in?
Well spotted, I forgot about that! Maybe he was jealous of Chevy Chase appearing in Paul Simon’s “You Can Call Me Al.” Or more likely, the other way around.
It also explains Buster being the Ghost of Christmas Past in Scrooged
They exhorted us to do a conga line at the Pink Martini concert I went to last month. It was fun as hell.
Cocktail update #2: the Monkey Gland tastes ok (not a phrase I thought I’d use), though the absinthe just makes me wish I was drinking a sazerac instead.
“hi, im johnny knoxville, and this is down marker guy.”
How hard is the ground on the sidelines?!
Depends, but it’s concrete in some
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTdRXMKh7VI
This reminds me of watching compilations of mostly high school and college “hardest hits” on YouTube shorts and instagram reeels
“did i catch it”
Featuring Ryan Dunn not on fire
My 11% has gone all the way up to 38% in my money league, suspenseful almost! Not really, still gonna lose
I would like Beaty Mixon to get his head out of his ass.
I would nawt, his lackluster performance is part of my 38%
Annnnd he is hurt.
My new fantasy/suicide/pick’em strategy is to set everything on Thursday, then ignore it all until Monday morning.
It worked the first week, I’m sure it totally didn’t backfire this week. I’ll find out tomorrow.
“My suicide strategy is a lot more fun!” — David Carradine
Spent half time rearranging furniture to make room for the hammock chair I just bought as a birthday/first paycheck gift to myself
In a total coincidence, Buddy Cole spent halftime rearranging his banana hammock collection.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opc9OrFy9HE
When is your birthday?
The 22nd, so next Sunday. I’m hoping the hammock will arrive just in time for me to try it out on my actual birthday 🙂
Wooo, September birthdays! Mine is the 26th.
Yay! We should eat some virtual cake together on the 24th!
Everyone’s parents were banging on New Year’s.
I was born in Rochester, NY so I assume they were snowed in all of January
So… it doesn’t matter who the quarterback or OC is… this is just Stillers foobawl.
And it has been for four years now.
Ye be 2-0, huzzah!
As everyone expected
Hilariously enough, the Commies are currently in 2nd place in the NFC East, and will be first in the unlikely event the Iggles lose tomorrow
From what I’ve gathered this weekend, that’s not as unlikely as I thought.
NAWT?
I don’t see how that’s a catch
the .500s have dominated but are up only 3
(not really THAT concerning for them, they are gonna clinch their division before thanksgiving)
/Collinsworth, looking at a pass thrown 5′ over the receivers head: “See, he’s giving him one only he can handle….”