As you may have guessed, I don’t have high hopes for this game. Fortunately, when it comes to football I’ve been wrong many, many times before.
Minutiae:
-Eli Manning heads the list of retired players that are eligible for the first time to be voted into the Hall of Fame. I have some bad news-he’s eventually going to get in. His thin resume is that he led the Giants to two miraculous upsets of the hated Pats, he was very much liked by the media and players alike, he played in New York his entire career and he is a successful social media personality. Yes, the bar is that low.
-Some Browns rookie pleaded no contest to some lesser domestic violence charges. Mike Hall Jr. will be experiencing a wee deja vu on Sunday when the Giants plead same halfway through the third quarter.
-No one is scoring these days-a rookie QB has yet to toss a score through the air so far. Well, with the exception of the Saints. Their 91 points scored so far is the most any team has put on the board since 2009. Much like an intense discussion regarding meatballs in the Fozz household there will be a cooling-off period. Mainly because so far they’ve refused to play three wr sets and defenses will adjust to that right quick.
-Tee Higgins’ pretend groin sprain is coming along nicely-he practiced today.
To The Game!
Pats/Jets:
-Is Jacoby Brissett the perfect cromulent bridge QB? Though he’s yet to throw for 150+ yards he’s also not thrown an INT and made good game-managing decisions. That resulted in the upset vs Cincy and the OT loss to Seattle. This is everything you hope your future tablet-toting QB can do while the rook-in-waiting gets up to speed.
-Mike Williams was treated like the injury-prone dude that he is in week one-he ran all of two routes. Last week he didn’t get many targets but route participation ramped up to 23. This week? With Garrett Wilson drawing #1db Christian Gonzalez it would appear that the 6’3″, 218 Williams will be covered primarily by the 5’9″, 185lb Jonathan Jones. Jump ball, anyone?
-Aaron Rodgers has all of one pass over 17 yards to date. He’s kinda exactly what the Jets need right now, someone that doesn’t turn the ball over. He might think he’s still a dynamic difference-maker but those days are gone.
-Futility, meet the Jets-they have all of one non-OT win over New England since 2011.
Hey good news everybody, I’m the new GOP candidate for Governor of North Carolina. They called me out of the blue and I was like “I’m not Republican and I don’t even live in North Carolina” and they were like “not even a problem, trust us” and I was like, “I hang around on a football and dick-joke website” and they were like “have you ever said you were a ‘Black Nazi’ and demanded more trans porn and said you wished slavery was back?” and I was like ‘WTF? NO!” and they said they’d work something out and not to worry.
Anyway, very excited about this opportunity.
I remember when those were a quarter each and still not worth going to Applebee’s for.
Boneless wings? You mean chicken tenders, Applebee’s?
The G Wilson fellow had best not score, keep running Hall.
Usually when Jets give Patriots a hard time, there’s someone in Riyadh buying Flight Simulator in bulk
Finally, an influencer for my lifestyle
Bears@Colts tickets are stupid expensive for some reason, lol
because they know bears fans are gonna show up and buy everything
i have an idea! You get a stamp for every state where you see Caleb Williams get sacked, once you collect 10 stamps you get entered into a lottery to be the new left tackle for the Bears
NFL tickets in general are stupidly expensive.
A buddy has 4 tickets for this Sunday’s Rams-49ers game in Section 511, row 18 (That’s nosebleeds to you and me) and he’s trying to get rid of them. $600 for the four.
Any takers?
Cheapest for Lucas Oil are $300 each, that’s like 9k gravies in Indiana money
People were paying $200+ for bleacher seats at Dodger Stadium for this upcoming weekend’s game hoping to see Shohei start the 50/50 club but they can say goodbye to that dream.
Offensive line? More like the Maginot Line.
THESE NY JETS LEMME TELL YA I CALL THEM ROMMEL AND THE WEHRMACHT BECAUSE THEY BLEW BY THE MAGINOT LINE AND ARE PROBABLY JACKED UP ON DRUGS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE
My reaction as a Hall owner, but a Pats fan
first time a Duggar has stopped someone from scoring
Deep cut right there.
I thought the Pats were supposed to have a good D?
thats what Gisele thought too
Who was more disappointed: Gisele when Tom retired and she realized what life would be like with him around 24/7, or Fox when he started announcing, and they realized what they’d be dealing with the for the next several years?
Yes.
Fox switching their catering menu to be exclusively tomatoes, gluten and MSG
Yes
“Rodgers is looking almost omniscient out there, eyes everywhere, pupils slightly dilated”
“He can see sound and hear smells. Soon he will be able to fold space and travel between stars in the blink of an eye! He IS the Kwisatz Haderach!!!!”
“How’s It Going To be?”
-3rd Eye Blind, up in the booth
Hussy!
Originally was going to root for the Jets to get obliterated and Rodgers to leave on a stretcher, but then I realized it would be way funnier if that doesn’t happen until they’re 5-1 or thereabouts.
Engage Maximum Schadenfreude!
I was saying that for Trump losing!
We need a figurative and literal backbreaking injury.
Watching this from my new hammock chair! Need to make some small adjustments to the furniture arrangements for optimal viewing angle, but otherwise already super comfy and awesome. Will eventually have to get up to get something to put in the cupholders though
Where’d you get it? Hammocks-R-Us?
Just wandered around the Hammock District till I saw something good
My favorite is Put- Your- Butt- There. I need specifuc directions, or I’ll be putting my butt all over the place!
/Preemptively smacks balls on the nose with a rolled-up newspaper
This game is such hot garbage that I am in two fantasy leagues and neither me nor my opponents have any players on the field tonight.
Not even in our benches.
thanks to kittles potentially falling to bits had to start Hunter this week to enjoy some gripping desperate garbage time pts
My opponent (yeah right) has the Jets kicker.
This is what he gets for vacationing
I have Rhaimondre Stevenson. He’s not tearing it up yet, but it’s early.
I’m against Rodgers in one and Spam has Breece in Vodka
Oh, did Yahoo not spend your first round pick on Breece Hall instead of Justin Jefferson?
Pity.
Alex Van Pelt – shouldn’t he be coaching the kickers?
I finally got it!!
The Jets would be that stupid
I want nothing but shoe string tackles on AAron tonight.
Yes! Just like that, make him fear for his ankles/feet.
Fireman Ed, please go away. I would wish him dead but I am saving that for people who deserve it.
He’s a fan of the New York Jets. That’s a fate worse than death.
Do you remember the old ad campain for “Wheel of Fortune” that muzak-ily sang I’m a Wheel watcher!
Well, the Robinson FOAR Governor campaign could sub in I’m a Black nazi!
Do you NOT admit such things on Nude Africa message boards?
WASPy ass honky
Related…and worth watching on YouTube.
Clarence Thomas in his law school days
Anyone for some light pregame reading?
https://x.com/AmericanMuck/status/1836872609868251269
My favorite part was he used the same Profile Name and same email addresses.
and know had to be same password too
Either “123456” or “adolf1”
pASSword
If that doesn’t work try PISSword
My favorite part was where the GOP can’t replace him and must carry him to full term.
(must….resist….Biden…joke)
Hey, our side is fine with aborting a non-viable clump of cells.
Our side made poor decisions in the past, and now we have to life with the consequences.
Say it. I hate that pudding brain bastard
He wrote that about his sister in law. Ewwwww.
lol yes THAT’S the gross part
It’s all gross!
Actually his wife is an only child so he just made it up
Shannon Sharpe breathing a heavy sigh of relief after last few days of scandals. Week of Pervasion still has 2 more days to go. Will end up in the birth of Slaaneesh
The Aldari will weep!
I’ll reserve judgement until I hear from our resident expert in such matters as described above: The Honourable Ballsofsteelandfury.
“Tonight on a Very Special Episode of Sexy Friday…”
My verdict:
I like the anal enthusiasm but I fear it is made up. It reads like bad Penthouse Letters circa 1972.
Example of logical inconsistencies:
He claims that “wet anal” got “us both hot” yet later says that she performed fellatio “til it was good and hard”.
I’m sorry, but if you’re already hot, you’re already hard.
…or me talking about my girlfriend from out of town who I totally banged!
The Republicans have really gotten lax about vetting their candidates, it’s just been hilariously downhill since Palin
The only “vet” Republicans know was the one prescribing them ivermectin in 2020
Eli is more interested in getting voted into the Hall of Justice as a Superfriend. He’s got a brand new set of Batman underoos for just that occasion.
You know he’s Team Aquaman. For reasons.
Cooper Manning is Team Plasticman.
Peyton is, of course, is Green Lantern. Because Hal Jordan sucks shit.
Always nice to see a member of the Fightin’ Horatios trying to stay connected with today’s youth.
https://x.com/RightWingCope/status/1836896580751823231
College Freshman, though, College. You’re consider this disgusting (which it is); I consider this a significant accomplishment.
Hitting on legal adults? This is alien behavior for a Republican.
Oh, fuck yes. Den of Thieves was a decent homage to Heat. The sequel looks wild as fuck.
I see TNF is in mid-season form.
I am starting BOTH J-E-S-T tailbacks. Fuck, am I EVAR too dum to live.
Metlife’s turf will claim at least one of their ACLs.