One for the road? Let’s do it!
To The Game!
Chiefs/Falcons:
-As predicted by many, Xavier Worthy came crashing down last week and had a very limited impact. He still got his measly three touches and amassed all of 22 yards.
-Mahomes is doing his usual thing and taking what the D is giving him but it’s resulted in the lowest air yards average of his career to date at 5.1. Surprisingly, the player that has benefitted the most is Rashee, not Kelce.
-Speaking of, Travis is off to a slow start and has a seven game regular season streak of being under 50 yards receiving. He hasn’t really been needed so far and I’m sure he’ll be a force in the bigger games. Otherwise he might just bump into Reid again.
-With Pacheco in a cast what cast of characters are now featured in the running game? Kareem Hunt is on the practice squad as he gets up to speed, retread Samaje Perine is doing whatever, future superhero Carson Steele was a major fantasy pickup and something called Keontay Ingram is taking up space on the roster.
-Cousins bounced back from a lousy week one display with a gutcheck last minute drive to steal a sure win from the Eagles. It looks like he’s rounding back into form.
-Bijan is doing the anticipated Bijan things, accruing 5.7 yards on average every time he touches the ball.
Let’s wind things up in style.
Fans: “Its 4th and Inches.”
Morris: “Yup.”
Fans: “The ball is placed a few inches from the Line to Gain.”
Morris: “Yup.”
Fans: “Since you only need to gain a few inches, a HB Dive or a QB sneak would likely be successful here.”
Morris: “That makes sense to me.”
Fans: “Then what is your play?”
Morris: “I’m going to run the ball 15 yards sideways three yard behind the line of scrimmage.”
No shit. The play before wasn’t much better.
There’s the Falconing we were waiting for.
Welp, cudos to the dirty birds for keeping it close
Welp, that was anticlimactic
Quite the call.
Probably 12 or 13 Chefs on the field for that stop.
Bad spot ending?
…or Peak Atlanta Ending.
Simultaneous timeouts! Tie goes to the home team?
Why say “left in regulation”? How can a tie game be possible when down by 5?
The single-greatest, DERPiest sequence to lead to a tie in history.
time left in relegation they meant for Atlanta
“Oh, Redshirt, you sweet, summer child. All things are possible when the Rog is in the stadium.”
-Roger Goodell, intergalactic disgrace
DOINK!
Seriously. Does this look like a man who gives a fuck about the next 11 months?
All these KC defensive penalties can only be setting is up for a hilarious plot twist!
Time to hope this game ends like a Family Reunion in West Virginia does with Cousins scoring.
Et tu, redshirt?
I was independent but watching that no call in the endzone brought me on the Falcon bandwagon. Which should curse them but let’s not dwell on that too much.
I meant the subtle dig at WVU, you Bearcat/Buckeye/Bungle bastard.
Well, Kentucky doesn’t matter about distance in the family tree, so WV was Plan B.
Bearcat Bungle Buckeye bastard bashes backwoods breeding brouhaha.
Beautiful, Boo!
Bully, Boo! Bully!
Dingleberry MVP incoming!
If this was the Super Bowl, I’d walk my team off the field after that no call. Why delay the coronation?
Consider these sock
I know about that one Cris. No crew is gonna call PI on KC in the endzone in the 4th quarter.
Ugh this two-day old wine sucks. Gonna need some whiskey to wash the taste out of my mouth.
Stupid question:
Is there a difference between the following:
1. Off sides
2. Encroachment
3. Neutral zone infraction
Yes.
Or course
Depends on how it affects the Chiefs.
Man that is one ATL looking officiating crew.
No facemask?
Guess not.
Not when the game is going at a good clip.
Weren’t letting that one fly.
I hope I don’t get canceled for saying this but the current season of Elité has way too much gay porn for my tastes.
Is every Hotlanta offensive player’s fingers broken?
When will Penix see the field?!
Carson Steele as Michael Penix Jr in…
Megatron’s Butthole
depends on results of the Malt Liquor Survey
Why is every shot of the Atlanta coach, him looking at the replay, with a confused look on his face?
“I still can’t believe I’m coaching for the Atlanta Falcons…..is all.”
He working off an older version of tonight’s script?
Record scratch
Yup, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation
Praise Narrative
EvIrArRaN eSiArP
What the cinnamon toast fuck was THAT?
Reds fire manager David Bell: Disappointing Cincinnati club moves on barely a year after awarding extension – CBSSports.com
Don’t cry because its over. On second thought, cry. Crying is good.
Now that the field goal is basically automatic — how is the rules committee going to sexy/safety it up?
Bring back vaulting over the line!
Rouges on kickoffs, four-pointers for any kick over 65.
And just because I’ve always wanted to see it, five points for using a kicking tee and beyond 75.
Kick must be done with high heels on
Awoooooooooo
-Rex Ryan
Steal from Arena Football and put net around entire back of endzone, including the goalposts. Ball remains live and can be played off the net.
If you can knock the ball down with a t-shirt cannon, it’s a live ball.
I still want to see extra points kicked at lateral point where the td went in
Is it just me or are a lot of helmets coming off this year?
NFL medical staff feels it’s safer*, probably.
*for the helmet
Gets another .51 games out of each helmet, on average.
HGH made their heads too big to fit properly
I just said the same thing
HaIL nArRaTiVe
All hail, The Narrative. All hail, The Narrative.
Mahomes every time he’s behind in a game
Moo Deng will make us all feel better
She’s the grandniece of Luol.
Is today yer birfday?
It is! I’ve been enjoying my hammock chair!
Congrats on your latest lap around Sol.
WELL HAPPY DAMN BIRTHDAY!
Enjoy your hammock, especially if you bought it in The Hammock District.
Yay! Salutations AND Felicitations!
Happy Birthday Hammock Queen.
Happy birthday!
Happy Birthday! I hope your minions decorated your volcano lair today
Andy Reid will be starting him at RiB next week or RB
Referee: “Goaltending, the Right Upright, Extra Point is Good.”
HAIL SHANK’HOR! Smite that chauvinistic shithead!
PRAISE SHANK’LOR HARRISON
SHE DOTH SMITES THEEEE
Damn, was hoping for another Buttface field goal
Tonight we are all Falcons fans, as Atlanta is letting us all down.
2016 all over again
Kyle Shanahan. World class bad dresser.
HAHAHA Fuck you Harrison
DOINK! makes his presence known. PRAISE BE!
Does anyone notice that the NFL isn’t catching PED use anymore?
Sure it’s nothing….
On an unrelated note, 30 years ago, 40 yard field goals weren’t seen as automatic, and 50 yarders might as be hail Marys. Now, 55 yards and less seem to be chip shots.
David Boston memorial post
Is that a bad thing?
Not at all. But it does make me roll my eyes at these, “How has he had such on/off years?!”
Because he’s cycling….or however it works.
For some reason this game is making me want to brush my teeth
Collinsworth’s inane gibberish has been known to leave a bad taste in the mouth of those he inflicts his drivel upon.
Too early to start the Bijan MVP Hype Train?
Still not “discovering” anything, but at least Amazon played something that truly rocked. Also, why is this song only four minutes long, it should be like fourteen.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqUa_G1h3pw
Canadian legend Tom Cochrane
Carson Steele sounds like the name of a person nominated for an AVN award
“Carson Steele” has been balls nom de plume for decades.
You are Erect Sir
–Head McMan
you sonofabitch gonna get me tagged on a call
well played
thanks i was like doh if edit worked i woulda added the hahahahaah
I get it now!
Falcons owner Arthur Blank inducting Arthur Blank into the Falcons Hall of Fame.
Kiss, Black Sabbath, Twisted Sister…thanks Amazon for introducing me – a time traveler from the 1700’s, as your algorithm apparently shows – to rock music!
It’s like, the music in this playlist isn’t at all *that* bad, but I didn’t select “Discovery Mix” because I wanted to listen to fucking Quiet Riot or Poison or Ratt.
Did Arthur Blank go down to the field level early for his ring of honor induction?
I just had another realization about ten years of my life wasted. Fuck.
That sucks. How did you come to this realization?
Long story. Similar to one I had a year ago. It’s just that I don’t have any future with something, but that ship started sailing long ago.
Nawt a 25 point lead so the Falcons have a chance
28-3 will never not be funny.
The fuck they do. — The Shield