Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.
This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
Your memory is a monster. It summons with will of its own. You think you have a memory but it has you [in bed].
John Irving
Just gonna pull the covers up over my head and sleep with the lights on for a bit.
So, golf last week was kinda cool. We were the last group to tee off for the day, and the group in front of us raced ahead, so for much of the round, it felt like we were the only ones on the course. It was also a great day for golf with it still being pretty warm (22C at tee off) for late September and not much wind.
For actual play, i did okay, but not sure my exact score as there were 2 sets of score cards and they don’t match. Ya, not sure how that happens either, but meh, it was good to get out. The only hole I remember is a long dog left that I hit into the right, first cut about 200 yards out. I then, like, actually, hit my hybrid 3, another 200 yards, to just right of the green. I then chipped onto the green for a 6 foot putt, which I made, to give me my first birdie ever. I thought it was a par 4, so was happy to have made par, and even happier for it to be a birdie.
As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.
Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
Hello Belfast! I showed restraint and did NOT order an Irish car bomb at the pub. Jesus Christ the black taxi tour of The Troubles was a fucking gut punch.
They still close the gates that divide the city every fucking day.
But the people are so fucking resilient and are trying desperately to move forward.
Had a lovely Irish stew as well.
yeah right
One of my cousins ( my Grandfather and his Grandmother were siblings) got dragged off the bus going home from school and disappeared for three festive days while the British soldiers beat the shit out of him. Then they realized they had the wrong guy, and left him half dead on the street. He wasn’t political before that, bet your ass he was after. He died in the Maze prison, one of the hunger strikers. I’m no fan of the IRA, but goddamn if it’s not hard to see how people get radicalized.
Gumbygirl
Brady’s oldest son wears douchebag T-shirts, a backwards trucker hat, and sports a paedo moustache
King Hippo
When your dad makes out with you, you end up damaged.
SonOfSpam
“Can confirm.”
– Ivanka T., FL
Redshirt
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
LAR’s balloon payment on their Super Bowl LVI ARM has come due. That roster is empty.
blaxabbath
“Balloon payment? The magician told me these things were free!” – Eli Manning, clutching his new best friend Fifi that he brought home from Daniel Jones’ birthday party
Note: the balloons contain nitrous oxide.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
┏┓
┃┃╱╲ in
┃╱╱╲╲ this
╱╱╭╮╲╲house
▔▏┗┛▕▔ we
╱▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔▔╲
Root for Scorigami
╱╱┏┳┓╭╮┏┳┓ ╲╲
▔▏┗┻┛┃┃┗┻┛▕▔
Sharkbait
Congrats to whoever took the under [ ALT VS PHI]
Doktor Zymm
Lowratio always takes the under.
Dunstan
I’d say that’s stooping pretty low, but how else can you look him in the eye?
LemonJello
kirk cousins is a lot like a trump assassin
makes a lot of headlines, seems to pack some firepower, likely a republican voter
but cannot shoot beyond 10 yards and is ultimately useless
fleshwound_NPG
Rain pouring on the tin roof, winds swirling through the trees and across the deck, and I am high as a kite. Peace out as I decouple from the electronic world and connect with the natural one. Live Long and Prosper!
ArmedandHammered
Your tin roof is…rusted?
scotchnaut
At 4 minutes and 11 seconds, the GWS v Gold Coast game highlight reel is already twice as long as Bryce Young’s NFL highlight reel.
blaxabbath
I quit a pretty nice union gig to return to work with special needs children. The money is about the same, but I feel like a have a purpose for the first time in forever.
Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show
I remember asking an interviewer what the typical billable hours were (a lot of firms advertise the minimum, which is usually ungodly high to begin with, but it’s like pieces of flair at Shenanigan’s — you’re expected to do more than the minimum), and he said that most people worked, oh, 2400 billables or so.
Either he was a poor judge of character or my poker face was better than I thought, because I managed not to look appalled and he said, “you’re gonna love it here, I can tell.”
I did not take that job, instead opting for a job at We’re Kinda Sorta Biglaw If You Squint, which had only moderately insane expectations. Eventually I got to the point where I would have been coming up for partner, and I was not willing to make the push that would have been required to assure them that I was really the kind of workaholic they were looking for. I got out before they pushed me out, and now I work at Lunch Is The Highlight Of Our Day Law. I make a lot less money than my former colleagues but have retained some shreds of sanity.
Dunstan
As usual, our spiritual advisor has hit the nail right on its shiny flat head. Obviously, Gumby and I could have taken many more lucrative paths than the ones we chose, but je ne regrette rien! We only had a short time with our son, but we showed him a bigger chunk of the world than most kids ever get to see. Now that my husband is nearing the end too, I’m so fucking grateful that we’ve had a blast while we were young enough to enjoy it, instead of waiting for retirement to do the fun stuff. I am not going to be a wealthy old lady, but I have what I need, and awesome memories to keep me company. And you chucklefucks too!
Gumbygirl
I’ve tended to prioritie things in my life quite differently than most and I thank my parents for being very weird and sane people.
My dad routinely turned down promotions with significant raises because he knew he didn’t want to manage people, and my mom switched fields to get a work from home job when that was barely a thing in the late 80s/early 90s and a few years earlier gave up a really solid job at J&J to go live in Germany for a couple years.
They also pushed grad school for the career flexibility it gives you (not that grad school was a hard sell for me, was sure I was gonna get a PhD even when I was 8, lol).
Doktor Zymm
Great writeup Rev.
Turned down a more-money and more-responsibility job about six months ago; the clincher was when the last interviewer casually tossed off “of course there’s gonna be night and weekend work” as though I wasn’t a 55 year old gadabout and raconteur. The choice was about quality of life and sticking with the devil I knew was the right call.
As lawyers go, you’re fairly smart.
SonOfSpam
Sharkbait
The worst people are just so consistent about being the worst. Impressive kinda.
SonOfSpam
/so I was swimming across the lake again this evening
//this exchange is pretty much verbatim
[pontoon boat slowly approaches]
Guy: “Is everything ok?”
Me; “Everything’s good, I try to swim over to that small island all the time. Just making my way back now. [joking] I guess you must have thought there was a Beluga whale in this lake.”
Guy: “From way off, I thought you were a moose.”
Woman: “I figured you were a beaver-we had to find out.”
scotchnaut
Not even a compliment re your buttery musculature?
King Hippo
Mr. Ayo
Tonight at the dinner table I was reminiscing with my kids about married life and remembered the time my wife and I got into a screaming, shouting, “I”m going to my parents”, fight about the proper way to cook meatballs.
YOU FRY THEM LIKE MY GRANDMOTHER DID
I BAKE THEM LIKE MY MOTHER DID
JESUS CHRIST SHE’S IRISH, WHAT THE FUCK DOES SHE KNOW?
jjfozz
And if any of you are interested in how to build a pot of sauce around a cut of pork, listen up;
Get a pork shoulder
Season it with salt, pepper, garlic powder (not salt)
Get a pot, a big one, pour in olive oil, and then dice up garlic and let that simmer
Dump in the pork butt, and some water
Let it cook (you can also hit any person near you with a wooden spoon)
Use the sauce you already made and put that over the pork butt
Let it simmer all day, stir that fucking sauce because I swear to CHRIST IF IT BURNS AND STICKS TO THE BOTTOM OF THE POT I WILL BEAT YOU BLACK AND BLUE
WHAT? YOU THINK MONEY GROWS ON TREES? YOU SEE YOUR MOTHER? YOU SEE HER CRYING? THAT’S BECAUSE OF YOU AND YOUR BROTHERS!
Slam door, pour fourth whisky of the day, drink it, yell at your wife to start crying. Think of your dead mother, start to cry.
Realize the sauce is ready, boil pasta, yell at your kids to get their asses at the dinner table, RIGHT.FUCKING.NOW!
Pray, eat, drink more. Possibly cry.
jjfozz
Montreal kissed thier sister… ewww
Thanks Maestro.
Today’s scenery in Croatia, Slunj.
2Pack
And of course with the bar
2Pack
AND home.
Long flight, watched maybe 5 movies, but home.
Eldest granddaughter picked us up at LAX.
Something that was cool was we did a US customs clearance at the Dublin Airport
Took a couple of minutes but allowed us to avoid customs at LAX!
Which is worth the price of admission by itself.
Got home. Nothing untoward and everything is unpacked and now me brain is spinnin’ wit the shite that went doon.
Decompressing and I’ll be back with a full report eventually.
Home.
yeah right
“The NY Jets are like Bruce Springsteen. They’re based in New Jersey, and have spent the last four decades making grown men cry.”
NICE.
BeefReeferLives
I made friends – well, the dogs did – with the married couple at the table next to me. They’ve now informed me about The Kit Kat Club in Portland.
One stripper comes out wearing only a Darth Vader mask, one has Pennywise make up, one strippers theme is “social awkwardness” – she will walk around the stage, bend over so her asshole is just smiling at ya, then scream between her legs at you.
Soooooooooooo DFO meetup there soon?
ThePirateSloth
Guys we got a problem.
My brother that lives in New York is giving updates about the game.
He’s been in new york since 2007, I’m worried he’s gonna get caught up in the hype and become a jets fan
Brocky
Friends don’t let friends become Jets fans.
Dunstan
Oh so Greg the Leg is fine for the Jets kicker, but call the Texas Governor that and you get removed from the State Capitol
Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show
Hey good news everybody, I’m the new GOP candidate for Governor of North Carolina. They called me out of the blue and I was like “I’m not Republican and I don’t even live in North Carolina” and they were like “not even a problem, trust us” and I was like, “I hang around on a football and dick-joke website” and they were like “have you ever said you were a ‘Black Nazi’ and demanded more trans porn and said you wished slavery was back?” and I was like ‘WTF? NO!” and they said they’d work something out and not to worry.
Anyway, very excited about this opportunity.
Horatio Cornblower
I hope you disguised your posts on “Naked Dwarf Abuse” better than the other guy.
SonOfSpam
I see you left one, uh, “small” detail out of that conversation.
LemonJello
Should be fine, Lowratio is a private contractor after all
Doktor Zymm
That’s how Horatio gets around paying him benefits…
ballsofsteelandfury
Usually when Jets give Patriots a hard time, there’s someone in Riyadh buying Flight Simulator in bulk
Buddy Cole’s Halftime Show
Stolen from some genius on Bluesky:
OLIVIA NUZZI: I know people will find this relationship wrong, but I can’t help it, Robert, this is what my heart wants!
RFK JR: [burps up entire raccoon skeleton]
SonOfSpam
Gumbygirl
Diet Update: Just crossed the 190-pound border after spending three weeks being Diet Plateau’s bitch, but so desperate so something different that I ordered a Subway bowl of their tuna sludge.
Simultaneously a good sign and a cry for help.
Redshirt
I feel like this captures the spirit of DFO
Doktor Zymm
Guys, Gumby got his Cameo from Rocky Bleier today. He really enjoyed it. I would post it here if I could figure out how to do it! Maybe Don T can? But we both really appreciated it! You are all so awesome, I am so grateful I stumbled in here. You are all my favorites, and you can tell anyone you want! Thank you for thinking of us, you will never know how much it helps.
Gumbygirl
Don T
Hangover nap was a great success. May try this stuff called “red wine” that I am hearing so much about.
litre_cola
Breaking News: A drunken person with an empty bottle of red wine was caught chasing Donald Trump down the Hole 15 Fairway at Mar-A-Lago threatening to, and I quote, “Give you the spankin’ your daddy should’ve gave you a long time ago!”
Redshirt
A man named Bidet is called a scatback. Wow.
ArmedandHammered
I didnt follow baseball but all my newsfeeds are full of ohtani news. Can someone explain in Football or basketball terms what this guy is doing?
Spur
He’s the first guy to have 1500 yards receiving and rushing in a season. All while rehabbing so he can throw next season.
Mr. Ayo
“I CALL THIS BALTIMORE/DALLAS GAME BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN BECAUSE IT SHOWS JUST HOW VULNERABLE COWBOYS CAN BE WHEN THEY LET THEIR GUARD DOWN!”
scotchnaut
Brocky
Carson Steele sounds like the name of a person nominated for an AVN award
Sharkbait
Sirianni “This is not sustainable.”
No fucking kidding asshat, you should have been fired last year. You are a fucking cheerleader and a shity one at that!
litre_cola
BeerBrother sent me a funny about whatever the fuck is going on in North Carolina.
Beerguyrob
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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
Stay busy and safe out there.
NOTE banner image from here
I’m starting to miss the Patriots favoritism.
Just gonna leave this here.
I’ll hang up and listen to the Lowratio remarks.
Lowratio is stylin!
He dresses like Brocky!
Lil Brocky!
Any Fins in the house, your moment is here!
I was joking this earlier, but for the bears and offensive linemen
“Do people have trouble getting past you in hallways and on elevators?” – late night ad featuring Bears GM
[sits up, pays rapt attention] – various Chicago residents
This is the funniest Tosh.0 joke yet
where we make most of our choices
https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/brett-favre-reveals-he-was-diagnosed-with-parkinsons-disease-while-testifying-before-u-s-congress/
Can we still make fun of him?
Our moral high ground might be a little shaky, but I’ll allow it.
maybe the shaking will help me feel it more
-D Farve
/not partaking in RTD’s “no Farve jokes” thing
Deanna Farve I call the Tin Woman as she can’t feel anything.
I’ll hold off on making jokes for a week or so. In the meantime, I’d like to remind people that – perhaps not as often as we might like, but sometimes…
Of course that won’t stop me from laughing at some of the jokes on r/nfl, where folks are not holding back.
https://www.reddit.com/r/nfl/comments/1foeowv/brett_favre_reveals_parkinsons_diagnosis_during/
(Jokes are lame. Like Favre.)
Oh YAAAAAAAS.
Fuck and YES
Fuck him. I hope he shakes so hard it breaks something.
Meanwhile, there are people who I hate so much I wish I could make them explode.
Last time I checked, Parkinsons doesn’t cause people to steal welfare money so I say full speed ahead
Here we go with the log in dick dance again. And I was doing so well for a few days.
Thanks for the review GTD. And ciao tutti.
Joe Burrow, Zac Taylor went to coaches offices after MNF loss (usatoday.com)
Joe Burrow to HC Zac Taylor, OC Dan Pitcher and DC Lou Anarumo:
Captain Phillips – “I AM THE CAPTAIN NOW” – YouTube
Well it’d be ludicrous for the players to have their own offices.
That is, until Salt Lake builds the Cardinals their new stadium.
Do Mormons even HAVE Cardinals??
The Bengals are like a 39 year old virgin – looking for some D, any D.
Mike Brown: “Lady, you said $200/hour. When you do the math, $7 is more than fair!”
“Ha ha, a 39 year-old virgin, what a loser!” – Kirk Cousins, age 36, looking around nervously
I am pretty sure he will do wonderfully his first time, till towards the end when he overshoots the entry and prematurely releases.
In QB parlance, the pressure will cause him to release early before the protection is in place?
I missed some comments, gonna have to go back and do some reading. Beautiful day her, cool and pouring rain, gonna work on the covered porch and enjoy it
27°C here, in September….. BURN MORE COAL!
1/2″ of rain after a three month drought — SEE?!!! GLOBAL WARMING AND CLIMATE CHANGE IS A WOKE MYTH!!!
we have rainfall warnings, with places expected to get 50mm of rain in the next 24 hours.
just glad it’s not snow*
*currently 17C out
DEANNA FAVRE: I wish *I* could expect to get 50mm of…
oh wait i said i wouldn’t make any of those jokes for a week
degenerate gamblers here all bet heavy on the under for “number of days before RTD makes another farve” joke
Yeah until FLA man migrates to Canada after that state finally disappears under the ocean.
we don’t let in convicted felons
So all of your politicians are home grown then.
You can have Ted Cruz back.
soUrry ( not soUrry)
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