Your Second Round of NFL Games-An Open Thread

So there are four games this time around on the late slate so that’s…acceptable. The games themselves? We’ll have to wait and see but two of the matchups have been close historically so there’s that.

To The Games!

Commies/Cards:

The book on Daniels coming into his rookie year was that his footsies would help him out while his inaccurate arm progressed. [checks some stats] His completion percentage is 80.3% so far! While not sustainable, it is very impressive. Ekeler is out (imagine that!) so Robinson and his 4.1 yards after contact should have himself a great game. After a very slow start Harrison Jr. is living up to the enormous hype-not an easy thing to do when you’re called the best prospect to come out since…whoever.

Pats/Niners:

Is this Brissett’s last start? He averaging a paltry 122 yards passing so far and that number is unlikely to rise vs San Franny. As though starting Drake Maye would solve the myriad of issues that the offense has had for three(?) seasons now. At least they can rely on Rhamondre. Oh, he had 6 rushes for 28 yards last week? Huh. Jennings had an unbelievable game last week and is generally very efficient to the extent that Purdy has a perfect 158.3 rating when throwing him the ball.

Browns/Raiders:

According to 33rdteam Cleveland had the third-best offensive line last year and yet somehow Watson has been sacked 16 times already. [looks at injury report-sees three starters there] Ahhh… Eleven of the last twelve games between these teams have been won by fewer than two scores.

Chiefs/Chargers:

Here’s another series that has been much closer than one might expect-although K.C. has won five straight, seven of the last ten have been decided by 7 or fewer points. Herbert is dealing with a high ankle sprain so he’ll be limited with what he can do outside the pocket so the Chargers will have to get up early and slow the game down and I don’t think they can do that at this point. The Chiefs have swept the series 7 times since 2013 and the Chargers in-division record has been 23-43 during that time. Btw, this is the first time that a reigning Super Bowl and National Championship coach have ever played each other.

Get going in the comments.

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King Hippo

Y’all notice that the injured Bosa brother was wearing a San Diego Chargers sweatshirt in the stands?

ballsofsteelandfury

Aren’t they all?

King Hippo

I reckon most were rocking Chefs swag, but I weren’t paying much attention

fleshwound_NPG

angel reese sighting at the ratbirds game, reminding all that she is from the maryland area, and the dc mystics channeled their inner washington wizards by passing on her in the draft

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ve got a 73.00 to 66.00 lead over Horatio, and he’s all tapped out. Is it possible for my kicker and defense to combine for -8.00 points? Absolutely! Would it be unsportsmanlike for me to sit them both and lock in the win?

yeah right

Not at all.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Interesting. I’ve done as much, but it still shows them as playing in the roster. Guess we’ll see what happens!

Doktor Zymm

I mean, you might deprive us of hilarity, but can’t fault you for that. I actually want you to try it just so we can see if yahoo still only gives you a 99%

fleshwound_NPG

some of the dan fouts years
the 1994 run (before getting destroyed by the niners)
the 2007 run (until they ran into the 18-1 greatriots )

thats it, thats all the chargers have given us

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hey, nice job Raiders!

Doktor Zymm

Did your phone try to autocorrect that?

King Hippo

It was some gloeious derp. Much like Jest/Donks, but without the weather element.

King Hippo

I guess 10-nil is the most dangeroUs lead in footy??

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It was nice to give the ShieldAssist™ the week off thanks to THE CHARGERING.

King Hippo

Keep that bullet in the chamber, Ginger Hammer!

LemonJello

Groper Cleveland just trying to force the play. Can’t seem to take “no” for an answer.

Doktor Zymm

Hah, Groper Cleveland is a great nickname

litre_cola

I have switched from making chicken wings in my smoker to just drumsticks. I will never go back now. Taste phenomenal, just bigger! I used a Merguez sausage rub on them and they are superb.

fleshwound_NPG

love drumsticks because they have a handle to hold on to. the handle is also made out of food.

LemonJello

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Doktor Zymm

Wings are only a step up from chicken feet

Brocky

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Kris Krisofferson Sunday Afternoon Staying Down

Col. Duke LaCross

I like how there’s no such thing as stopping forward progress anymore.

Doktor Zymm

I’m gonna lose in my money league because I started Kyler and Rashee instead of Love and Josh Downs, fantasy football is hard y’all

LemonJello

I’m well on my way to keeping my winless streak going in Lowratio League.

Doktor Zymm

That’s 4-0 if you travel back in time!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just finished walking 60 miles around Denver over the last three days to raise money to fight breast cancer. AMA.

LemonJello

60 miles? Was there chaffing?

Doktor Zymm

Do you think it was easier or harder to walk that much than it would have been to talk people into donating directly?

Doktor Zymm

Jayden Daniels is pretty freaking awesome, it’s so novel to enjoy watching WAS play. Even the stupid name is less annoying!

Doktor Zymm

(though I will continue to call them “football team”)

LemonJello

THIS GUY, NICK BOSA, I CALL HIM THE PITMASTER BECAUSE HE’S TENDERIZING AND CARVING UP A BRISSETT FOR HIS TEAMMATES!

Col. Duke LaCross

The opposing quarterback has a year-round tan, of course he’s extra motivated.

yeah right

Four and Oh?

With wins over the Pack and the Niners?

You NOE there’s celebrating up in this here motherfucker!

Doktor Zymm

I gotsa bunch of Addison points in Freezer Vodka!

LemonJello

Even more impressive with that retar…I mean very special quarterback you have this year.

yeah right

/ looks around

I…

I like him.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Usually when a Younghoe wins it in Atlanta, Diddy has to pay the legal fees along with a settlement.

LemonJello

Taking the Lady LemonJello on a lunch date instead of watching another Jaguras field-shitting seems to have been the better choice.

Unsurprised

Berman should be tanned into leather … after he dies.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“While” would also be acceptable.

Last edited 1 month ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Gumbygirl

I really should scroll more!

Gatoraids

muting myself during halftime to avoid him repeating Flacco is Backo like he was journaling at the Overlook Hotel

Gumbygirl

While he dies.

Doktor Zymm

Bullshit, NO FUN LEAGUE is in full effect in Arizona.

In other stuff, Zaccheus should change his name to Zaius.
https://youtu.be/M2E1m90YSpA

fleshwound_NPG

ChargeringTM cares not who the head coach is

fleshwound_NPG

wordpress cares not when the trademark symbol is pasted

Unsurprised

Mariotta grooming anyone … Fuck

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Oh thank God, gambling and Post Malone here to save me from the Kelces.

Mr. Ayo

That’s his Raiders!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh Jesus what did they do?

Doktor Zymm

Bobbleception six

Oh wait, that was the other direction. Honestly both teams have been pretty derpy so it’s hard to remember who derped which derp

Last edited 1 month ago by Doktor Zymm
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

As with all color broadcasters, you either flame out or live long enough to be loathed.

This Nantz-Romo is paint drying on my ass.

LemonJello

Narrator (uncomfortably): “That wasn’t paint on Buddy’s ass.”

litre_cola

I don’t know who the female announcer is in the Raider game but she is unoffensive and I don’t want to throw things at my tv like with Romo and Collinsworth.

Mr. Ayo

That’s our very own Beth Mowins!

Unsurprised

She sounds like the Yankees announcer who lost her shit when Clemens was sitting in Steinbrenner’s box

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I lost my shit when Clemens ate Mindy McCready’s box

Unsurprised

I am afraid to ask about other times you lost your shit.

yeah right

Appropriate because Romo sounds like he’s hyperventilating from huffing paint when he talks.

Doktor Zymm

I think that’s some lung scarring from all his broken ribs

Doktor Zymm

It’s actually pretty good for Las Vegas that the Raiders are the Raiders because they’ll always get lots of away fans, even Browns fans have hope. Unjustified hope, but even unjustified hope pays for tickets!

litre_cola

Didn’t Don T say beers were 20+ dollars each when we were there?

Doktor Zymm

Sounds right. It’s a brilliant business model

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Those seats are heinously expensive, even on the secondary market.

LemonJello

TONIGHT GIRLFRIEND is not a cheap date.

Unsurprised

Five years ago, OBJ was getting charged $5,000 a night by a British glamour model.

Unsurprised

“Tools win the biggest games” – Lowes explaining the Dreamboat Dynasty

Unsurprised

Yay! Commies kicking the Oldest NFL Team™ Arpaios’ asses

Unsurprised

This was a nice reward for doing a one-hour, 4-mile walk. Nearly hit 10k steps. Still fat as holy hell.

Doktor Zymm

4mph is a good walking pace

Doktor Zymm

Lol Browns

Doktor Zymm

Is the washington defense way better than I thought or is Kyler playing CoD between plays?

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, I mean they’re more young than awful so some improvement wouldn’t be surprising, but I was thinking more like ranked 30th instead of 32nd

Redshirt

If you ever wondered why Cincinnatians seem a little off…

IMG_0278.jpeg
rockingdog

It’s like a Mario vs Wario situation

Lmao

Unsurprised

It Follows: NFL Edition

Doktor Zymm

Since Rice is cooked, GO SHITTY CLIPPERS

Doktor Zymm

Oh great I jinxed em

litre_cola

Harbs is going to get Herbert killed

Unsurprised

Never

rockingdog

Kittle TD Catch was ROCKING!!!!

Unsurprised

I thought that said Kitty TD at first, and started wondering who dragged Cutler out of retirement.

Doktor Zymm

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Last edited 1 month ago by Doktor Zymm
rockingdog

Found a funny:

smartToilet 7:55am
🚽😏

smartToilet 7:57am
lol

smartToilet 8:00am
hello??

smartToilet 8:01am
are you mad at me

smartFridge 8:05am
hey man did u say something 2 toilet he’s freaking out

Spur

Going to the in LA proper in a few weeks for work. Girlfriend wants to book a haunted tour on the Queen Mary. Its better she learns now am a big chicken.

Spur

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Unsurprised

The Tribe should rename itself The Red Scare

Unsurprised

Bandwagon, too.

BC Dick

The NFL has an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. The angel is John Madden, the devil is Chris Berman.
John Madden has been dead for a long time.

King Hippo

I’d still rather be in a room/have a conversation with Madden. I can hold my nose.

fleshwound_NPG

“Here’s a guy that when he’s dead, he doesnt say anything.”

King Hippo

Gonna read like a fucking neeerrrrrddddd. WIll leave this late slop on, though.

Mr. Ayo

“Watson finds a hole!”

Oh boy, here comes another lawsuit.

clint greasewood

Are the Commies the most complete team in the NFC Least?

fleshwound_NPG

commies have been a major player in the east since 1917

King Hippo

DA, is predicted in the dialectic!

blaxabbath

Give three weeks for the Jayden-Kliff experience to get on film.

hippofant

Morning.

hippofant

Also HAHA SUCK IT RODGERS

Spur

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Gumbygirl

I left 30 fucking Lovepoints on the bench. Fuuuuuuuuuuuck!

fleshwound_NPG

*me through all of high school and most of college*

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

ShieldAssist™ activated!

Cecil Rhodes

Ladd McConkey! I believe I ran into him during a cricket match at the officer’s club a fortnight ago! Wonderful chap!

fleshwound_NPG

so, how are the chiefs gonna bullshit their way out of this game by just a narrow score again

King Hippo

TRUST in ShieldAssist ™!

litre_cola

No Ekeler, means Gunshot Robinson all day.

Unsurprised

Go Commies.

I’m out until SNF.