Hey, we made it like we always do!
To The Game!
Bills/Ravens:
-Baltimore dug themselves a wee hole and are trying to get to .500 but are taking the hardest road there.
-Lamar, who insists that he wants to be more of a pocket passer leads all QB’s in rushing with 254 yards. I guess he’s taking what the D gives him.
-Allen threw a career-worst 18 interceptions last year but has obviously been working on that-he hasn’t given the ball away through the air yet after three games.
-Von Miller had no sacks in 14 games last year including playoffs but has at least one in every game this season.
-Cook is off to a blazing start with 4 Td’s-he only had nine in 33 tilts prior to this year.
-I’ve mentioned this previously and will again because it just seems so silly. Shakir has caught all 14 of his targets so far but is being taken of the field when the Bills go to two tight end sets.
-King Henry needs just one more game of 150+ rushing yards to tie Jim Brown’s record of 13. I doubt he’ll get it tonight.
Have at it.
Lol
So in an attempt to reduce the amount of clutter in my household, I try to throw out one item per day. Tonight, for shits and giggles, I counted the number of items surrounding the the tub in the primary bathroom. The total: SIXTY-SEVEN. I’m fucking doomed.
Think of all the vacuum bags that can fill…
I’m so glad I got knocked out of my fantasy football league the first week. I don’t know how people keep winning and sticking around tocompete in those leagues for months at a time.
NY Times: “The civil war in Sudan is revealing the human capacity for evil,” our columnist @nickkristof writes, “but it’s also a reminder of an equally powerful human capacity for strength, resilience and courage.”
To conclude, Sudan is a land of contrasts.
That’s giving good equal coverage to both sides.
“People talk about the atrocities of war. But do we ever talk about the True Cost of Peace and, is it really the Value they say?”
“About 3/5ths.”
— Stephen M., Hell
So the airport parking place locked my key in my car, but I’m sure they’ll figure it out. It’s possible it’s not even locked and they just didn’t try the door. Worst case Tuesday night me has to take a Lyft home to get an extra key.
Also forgot my Kindle so I guess I’ll just sleep on the flight
Fully.
Ready.
To Party.
Call my Freezer Vodka team Leicester City. Because we won the title and are gonna get relegated immediately afterwards.
I just looked at my score in the Lowratio league. I just assumed Brocky was curbstomping me. To my total surprise, he’s only up by three and a half. I still have the Sun God tomorrow. I probably just jinxed the fuck out of myself, lol.
If the Nile floods in the next twelve hours, you may be in trouble.
The best part about beating Horatio in fantasy today was being able to sit my kicker and defense and see my chance of winning go from 99% to 100%.
I’d say that’s bad news for Lowratio, but c’mon, we all know this is a kink for all of them.
199 yds for Henry…
0-4 dude. 0-4
I think I’m gonna try to get “Michael Bidwill’s sexuality aside…” spoken on the Cardinals postgame show.
What do I search for in order to find a prep coach for that? Like, a media consultant?
I’d storm Capitol Hill for you if you did that.
time to kiss the garbage time titties
Relevant
“Mediocrity doesn’t just happen. It’s chosen over time through small choices day by day. ”
—Todd Henry
Is it just me, or are these graphics ( like the catch him if you can, or the go kart driving) annoying as shit?
Not you. There very annoying.
They are for idiots, after all. Idiots love stupid, awful shit.
Purposefully lame. And including Josh Norman among Pro Bowlers 🤣🤣🤣
Before I forget: fuck Mark Andrews. He’s killed more fantasy teams than Derek Carr.
Goth TD
She seems nice
GRITTY FUMBLE RECOVERY TD
I may have been wrong about Henry being washed up
I think we all were.
THIS DERRICK HENRY LEMME TELL YA I CALL HIM THE WHITE MAN BECAUSE HE IS KILLING ALL THE BUFFALO
Hahahaha … Oh, wait. He did. Fuck.
First as tragedy, then as farce.
no buffalo, going wide left will not balance out the wide rights
Ain’t that the truth
special place in hell for zuckerberg for killing half of the internet by faking facebook’s video views
And to think, that was 12 years ago. The evil shit we know he’s done since make me wish a Super Hell exists.
We are a website to go to!
The last ship.
Aww. That was mean. Stupid “edit” button not working.
Oh, it’s not that mean. If we can’t laugh at ourselves, where does that leave us?
The answer? I’m not sure. Hopefully not Cleveland.
Cleveland is landlocked if you don’t count the river of fire
+ Mark Robinson
You’ll never guess what qb I’m facing in two leagues right now
HARF?
Does this make DeShaun HARF 2.0?
THE BEN CHALLENGES DESHAUN TO A CHOCO TACO EAT OFF HARF HARF
TD Goths
Derrick Henry exists because a typo in his genetic code made him a giant fast dude instead of a giant fat dude. That extra ‘s’ is everything
A qb getting hurt on a flea flicker during s night game?
Where have I seen this before?
We getting a Tittie Kisser sighting?
Oh, FUCK YOU!
I love how the NFL rules do not obey the laws of physics.
Evrahbody ded? That tracks.
DED BUFFALO!
Goth Ball
I can turn the Bills off: Superbowl
Boom. Told you that worked
the Trickiest of Trickeration
Oh no, they’re going to forever mention that Keon Coleman played basketball, aren’t they?
So did Tony Gonzalez, a lot of people don’t know that.
“Hey, Fat Andy owns your collective asses!!”
NICE.
.
Fuck. I missed it.