Welcome friends to the Early Bird Special featuring…not bird teams. Let us know what you’re drinking and snacking on as you watch this mammoth tilt. (whatever, it’s more football and that can’t be bad) I’m having a hot chocolate/coffee thing that is heavily laden with Irish cream and of course some mini cukes!
To The Game!
Jets/Vikes:
-Rodgers will pass the 60,000 yard mark today with just 96 yards. He dealt with a swollen knee during the week but applied a poultice of virgin platypus gall bladder no doubt and now he’s ready to play. Do your homework, sheeple!
-Aaron Jones has rushed for 90+ yards in three of his four games and that total equals the entire Minny backfield’s output from last season. No wonder he was traded for.
-Darnold is scratching his 7 year itch-this is the only time he’s been 4-0 in his career and when you look where he’s been it makes all kinds of sense.
-Will JJ line up across from The Sauce? I guess if I did a wee bit of homework I could find out for sure but I think Gardiner only plays one side of the field. Addison is no slouch either so the former will be busy no matter what.
-Will the false start issue be addressed by game time? Or did Qaron just mumble, “It’s not my fault, it’s someone else’s like it always is.”
-Pay no mind to the qb’s involved but the Jets have held their last two opponents to under 75 passing yards.
-The Vikes have never lost in London.
Good Morning!
That’s always my call on a 4th and 2.
When my quarterback understands neither four nor two.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdxpwOEC4fk
The Fightin’ Horatios are clearly headed for The Sugar Bowl!
https://twitter.com/CollegeFBonX/status/1842919996428800081
I have 3 on their bye, and Beaty is still Beatup. I’m not willing to lose my bench guys, so I’m going without a tight end and a second running back this week. You’re welcome, Rikki!
/Checks FF
Ah, I see Yahoo’s first round pick for me, a certain Breece Hall, has totaled a whopping 0 points for me so far.
Fortunately I am fielding the Minnesota defense, and that decision seems to be going well for me.
Maybe I should have selected the Minnesota D with my first pick….
I’ve been starting Breece Hall AND Braelon Allen week after week. After a spell of cromulence, I have gone speeding into a brick wall.
/4-0 DonT gonna kick my ass this week, even in spite of Drake London’s effoUrts
Checking in.
Also watching Premier League. As the Queen intended.
Here, better late than never.
I feel bad for Aaron Rodgers. Why can’t he just go out on top and then we can all tear him down on twitter?
Not sure if serious. I want him to fail miserably and then we tear him down even further.
Hey, Qaron, eat more shit.
Also, even Adams won’t be able to catch these off target throws.
The actual Viking on the Vikings just pillaged Rodgers for six. Skol!
Oh god this is orgasmic to see A-A ron struggle.
Paging Joe Namath…
FUCK YES!
Show the motherfuckers stats!
NO MATTER HOW EARLY YOU AWOKE, YOU KNOW THIS HAS BEEN WORTH IT
BWHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
The Caribbean Delegation reports fir Mandatory. A blessed morning to all.
Cracked a beer 15 mins. ago. Hey, you gotta keep the Holy Dates.
YOU JUST GOT VAN GINKELED!
You got Ginkeled!
As opposed to girkined SIGH – Deanna F., Hattoesburg, MS
This is wonderful. Keep taking drugs and skipping workouts old man. I want to see those x-rays. He didn’t tear shit.
There’s our Speshul Boy!
Eat shit, Qaron!
Needs more plus oneses.
I’m here, I’m here, I only just got out of bed!
Totally the OLs fault
WOOOOOOOO!
WOMP WOMP just asking questions
Speaking of these people —
I’m trying to time my little product rollout to coincide to be not before but on 11/5 — or as closely as possible. My reasoning, my competitors are all about just asking questions and I think they’re planning to coast that week and/or go attack the Maricopa County Recorder. In either case, they won’t be in the mind-space to deal with my bullshit.
On top of all the occupational headache I will be creating for them, I also intend to ruin their election week(s).
Is pulling a fast one over your competitors a more essential concern than increasing #brand awareness? Not sure about that. /condescending wink
Tell me where to send the $783.17 invoice for this consultancy advice. Sincerely,
-Equivocating Luchre, Ltd.
Is Mullens also packing a hog? It’s a nickname that needs fillin’
Uncertain. We’ll need Gumbygirl or a Prideful DFOer to review the NFL Combine photos.
For science.
I would watch the shit out of an all-women broadcast crew that focused heavily on pervy body commentary.
It’s too bad the NFL is so strict on their broadcast rights. I’d subscribe to a spots channel that offered this ON TOP OF the latest breaking news and hottest commentary.
Man I slept and sweat a LOT yesterday. But feel great this morning. But I need to bathe too.
Ate red meat after age 40, eh?
Halftime dude.
That’s why I V8-caffeinated pre-game. Gonna go with coffee at the quarter break, hopefully time my halftime shit right
Darnold is okay?
(deletes joke about Battle of Edington)
Uh oh.
Another Very Special Injury
This new neighBoUrhood in England has everything it has
There goes everything you need right there Buddy…
I’ve got the game on the laptop and “Sorry, Wrong Bedroom” on the tube. It’s West German comedy at its finest!
That also sounds like a pornhub search
As someone who lived in many staff residences in my 20’s, sometimes the wrong room works out for you…
It also works for college courses. I pulled a Van Wilder once and walked into the wrong room, liked what I heard and stayed around for the rest of the period.
“But honey, I have my orders and orders are orders.”
-actual dialogue
(imagining 70s porno trumpet music intensifies)
Ayo’s Pornhub theory is still good.
Huh, Zach Wilison is almost looking…
(sacked for 12)
Okay, he’s still MILF Hunter Z.
Bud LIght wedding ad is so stupid. If the bride and grrom both like FITBAW, even a little bit? They plan their nuptials accordingly for the long and brutal off-season.
Having a lovely English breakfast tea with toast and strawberry jam.
Lovely start to the day.
WILL YOU WALK SOMEWHERE THIS MORNING CHEERILY?!
No.
Well maybe.
Or quite rightly at least?
as I say every year, Eisen/Warner is easily the best broadcast booth we’ll get
Facing Mrs. Cola in an FF league. I am 4-0, she is 0-4 (with a shit tonne of pts), she is totally going to beat me..
They just said “elite arm talent of Sam Darnold.” Either I’m still asleep or we have a serious tear in the fabric of space and time.
They mean
RetSpecial Young Man Strength(related; from SNL last night)
“Walz”: Well, I also have a tendency to slip up and say the wrong thing.
“Vance”: Don’t worry me, too. You’re doing a nice job tonight.
“Walz”: You, too.
“Harris”: WHY ARE THESE TWO VIBING?!
“Moderators”: On behalf of America, I am finding this comradery and politeness both refreshing and weird.
Hold on. I got one from my stack of 30 year old sports TAEK cassettes for this….
“…you can’t deny that anyone playing in the NFL is an elite talent….”
MUNDT!
Query – is this Touch of Downs first OL that is even so much as cromulent? Seems like that makes a difference.
Ugh.
Like 4 of my 9 starters in money league are playing in this. Nice to get the day ruined early.
(snores; snorts) hahaha fuck you, michigan (snores)
Let’s go boys!
Good stop!
Got a giant jug of cold brew and some trucker speed if that doesn’t work. LET’S FUCKING GO!
smacks ass in honoUr of this dedication. HARD.
God I wish John Randle and Jared Allen were still around to terrorize Rodgers today.
And Alan Page.
The SKOL clapper in the 69 shirt. Even Scotchy admits is NIIIICCCCCEEEE
Reporting for Mandatory duty.
SKOL!
Everyone all nuzzled in comfortably, against the Ginger Hammer’s milk-laden teat.
You’re welcome FOAR the visuals.
Fuck the queen!
I know this one makes the rounds but…
If it makes you feel any better…
My body is not quite ready, but trusty Pill Bottle is close at hand, and the teevee’s on.
Power through Buddy.
is the only move my old ass still has!
To prepare for the game I’m watching some 70’s movie that features a bunch of frolicking naked women. It’s called My Nights With Susan, Sandra, Olga and Julie and it’s horrible.
Just concentrate on the frolicking naked women parts.
Reporting for duty Hippo Sir!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGrLb6W5YOM
Me talking to myself;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w6Q3mHyzn78
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Cw1ng75KP0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zR9AlcgL6_0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3nDgnNUJe6s
You’re not alone.
Maybe some breakfast tea to start the day.
A very cool thing we picked up on our travels.
Of course ye are up tis your upstart Vikings!
Damn Skippy!