Your Sunday Night NFL Football Open Thread

[Barry Manilow’s “Looks Like We Made It” plays softly in the background] We got here you and I. Our eyes and butts are sore but it was worth it. Also, it would appear that the Bears, at long, long last, have a QB on their hands. The question remains, “How are they going to fuck it up?”

To The Game!

Bengals/Giants:

-NY favored by 3 1/2? (cue Lombardi, “what the hell’s going on around here?” thingy) Goodness, Cincy is sinking fast.

-These two squadoos don’t get together very often-they’ve only played 11 times in total with the cats having a one game advantage.

-In what figured to be another long, lousy year with Dimes at the helm the Giants offense is a middling 20th overall and 12th in passing(?!). There’s one guy primarily responsible for that but we won’t see him this evening, he’s still in concussion protocol.

-Burrow better beware of the DT’s. Actually, just the one-his name is Dexter Lawrence and the monster is having a monster year with six sacks already. The Giants are stunningly leading the league with 22.

-Cincy is a woeful 28-56 in regular season games played at night but Dimes is 2-17 in prime time games so maybe a tie tonight?

-Burrow just passed Jeff Blake (I liked that guy) for 5th in passing yards. He and Danny Boy are two of only four QB’s with three or more games of 2+ TD’s and 100+ QB ratings in the same game.

-Singletary is out another week with groin issues so Tracey Jr. gets another chance to solidify his place as the #2 RB in the pecking order. Honestly, I can see a committee on the horizon.

-Chase Brown is listed as questionable but a local beat reporter is saying that he’s good to go. Cincy will need his impressive 5.6 ypc number.

There you go.

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Doktor Zymm

I’m gonna need to see the source data for this, seems off

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Mr. Ayo

Fake news! I’m on freezer vodka number 8 and the HOX aren’t even playing today.

WCS

Compelling arguments can be made for any of the franchises in the top row.

Redshirt

Where’s my pants? And why am I wearing a King’s Guard’s Cap?

Beerguyrob

Also, the Thanksgiving dinner was ridiculously large. Turkey! Ham!! Stuffing!!!

I brought my own alcohol because MiL’s Chablis is not to my liking.

Beerguyrob

I sold my soul to win at Fantasy this week.

The devil got robbed.

Doktor Zymm

And with that win Ohio teams collectively pull up to 3-9, just one game down from New Jersey teams falling to 4-8

Gumbygirl

Hilariously bad game! And I beat Boris in the Lowratio league, woohoo!

Wakezilla

Welp, the Giants aren’t coming back from that one.

blaxabbath

And heeerrrreeeeee comes the switchblades…….

Redshirt

(exhales)

Brocky

Hahahahaha

Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

– B. Walsh

Redshirt

It’s still not over. If anyone can blow this lead, it’s the Bengals.

Gumbygirl

There you go Redshirt.

Wakezilla

Let the Bungles score fast so the offense gets the ball back? Brilliant!

Doktor Zymm

You may have lost Gigantes, but Collinsworth complimented you!

Brocky

Happy Halloween everyone

Warning: NSFL

Spoiler

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Mr. Ayo

God dammit. Don’t know what I expected.

Gumbygirl

.

whoframedrogerrabbit-eyes.gif
blaxabbath

Nice to see CMC can still get his Uber paychecks while sitting on IR after everyone made fun of me for spending all my money on one guy,

Redshirt

JUST
FUCKING
CLOSE
THE
GAME
FOR
ONCE
IN
YOUR
WORTHLESS
LIVES
YOU
DUMB
FUCKS
!

Wakezilla

One reason why I prefer the CFL over the NFL is because that would be the Giants’ ball after that fumble

Mr. Ayo

Bungles bungled that fumble. Truly impressive.

blaxabbath

Only scoring 7 points — on a drive needing two 4th down conversions — at home seems like it’d be a pretty familiar occurrence.

Wakezilla

Burrow hurt again? Maybe he should retire. That’s what they’d say if he was a Dolphins QB. Better put him on the 4 game IR, too

WCS

Rest of the season, just be safe.

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Redshirt

(curled in fetal position)
We can’t be worse than the Giants. We can’t be worse than the Giants. We can’t be worse than the Giants. We can’t be worse than the Giants. We can’t be worse than the Giants. We can’t be worse than the Giants.

Mr. Ayo

Welcome to the HOX cellar! Seating is available over in that cold damp corner with no chair or lighting.

Gumbygirl

I don’t think Burrow smacjed his head hard on the ground, but he may have some whiplash.

Gumbygirl

Smacked.

Mr. Ayo

Burrow back injury? RIP Bungles.

blaxabbath

“Good job not putting his weight on Burrow and getting a penalty.”

Yeah, instead he just ruined the entertainment potential of the play.

Redshirt

Oh, good. Let’s add concussions to the Burrow Injury History.

Mr. Ayo

Nailed it!

— B. walsh

Doktor Zymm

How old is too old to go trick or treating?

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Last edited 2 months ago by Doktor Zymm
Brick Meathook

this old

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blaxabbath

“I don’t know how many of you have been through rehab….”

It doesn’t really matter because no one watching is sober.

Doktor Zymm

Wtf Temu? They’re advertising a litter box big enough for an adult human. I must have gotten Cutler’s browser history somehow.

Gatoraids

think its more for Najeh Davenport

ArmedandHammered

Fucking furries.

Bogdanski

Kamala is using government money for illegal alien prisoners to transition to cats. Fastest growing market these days

Brocky

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WCS

WAEK UP SHEEDLPE LIBTARDS

Game Time Decision

And somehow my rabbits would still get litter out of the box

Unsurprised

Maybe the Chinese want you to get a pet puma.

Doktor Zymm

That looks like a decent sammich

Unsurprised

Katz’s pastrami? I guess so. For $24.

WCS

I still have suspicions about Liberty Mutual’s Doug, but the guy on the new commercial ABSOLUTELY has a crawlspace that contains human organs or other remains.

UPDATE: Run. Take your children and flee.

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Last edited 2 months ago by WCS
WCS

9-9 tie? Scoragami?

Mr. Ayo

The dream is dead.

Stupid Bungles.

Redshirt

We’ll get penalized a point somehow. Just watch.

WCS

Reverse rouge!

Doktor Zymm

Clerical error?

Game Time Decision

Hanging chad

Gumbygirl

Ohio tax

Redshirt

Fire all the Bengals coaches. Finish the season sandlot-style.

BugEyedBoo

Have to count 3 seconds before you get to rush the QB.

blaxabbath

“That’s the rule every week!”

-Carolina Panthers Defense

Unsurprised

Ditto Stripes. They lost their drill instructor, and still managed to successfully invade Czechoslovakia.

King Hippo

Philsophical question – if Ginger Hammer gets his way, and we expand to like, 16 international fixtures…would the MANDATORIUM concept still make any sense? Hippo is torn.

Doktor Zymm

Depends on scheduling methinks

Unsurprised

That dipshit needs to stop trying to make international football happen.

Mr. Ayo

Absolutely not. You’re already pushing it for us best coast persons.

LemonJello

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Unsurprised

It’s easy to say crazy shit when you’re as high as he was.

Doktor Zymm

Must be why it was so easy to blow his mind

The Maestro

The Giants should consider a season ticket holder promotion whereupon after getting to draft their next franchise QB in 2025, the customer who bids the highest amount in some charitable proceeding or whatnot gets to be the one to Old Yeller Daniel Jones in the parking lot of MetLife Stadium.

Bogdanski

Let’s not get crazy here. I think a complimentary medium Pepsi is prize enough for anyone

ballsofsteelandfury

Giants coaches frantically looking for the salami in their pockets.

WHO HID THE SALAMI???

WCS

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Check Frank.