Hello there fellow DFO’er. Hope you’re well today. And thanks for coming back to see last weeks tl;dr of last week as decided by my brain. There’s no reason as to why some comments make it and others don’t. Seriously. There isn’t.
This weeks cheesy motivational quote is:
Life is about choices. Some we regret. Some we’re proud of. We are what we choose to be [in bed].
Graham Brown
-Eli, quietly, jumping off the bed, with a blanket tied around his neck as a cape and an empty paper towel roll as a sword
As a reminder, Sunday comments stand alone and Monday comments will go on the next week’s post.
Note that during the offseason, I’ll probably look at the Sunday posts.
Without further ado, here are the comments of the week.
COUNTERPOINT:
FUCK YOU, YOU TALENT WASTING PIECE OF SHIT!
Thus concludes my Bengals First Quarter Summary.
Redshirt
From Category 1 to Category 5 in 16 hours. But Global Warming and Climate Change is a WOKE MYTH!
Redshirt
Terry Francona: “I am so excited and fired up to become Manager of the Cincinnati Reds. First question?”
Reporter: “Cincinnati Enquirer. Welcome to Cincinnati. Why?”
Terry Francona: “The Reds are a fine organization with a long history. I’m honored to be a Red.”
Reporter: “700 WLW. Welcome to Cincinnati. Are you having a stroke or a medical emergency? Why Cincinnati?”
Terry Francona: “I enjoy a challenge and know that management will work to lead us to a World Series Championship.”
Reporter: “Oh, bullshit! Oh, FOX 19, welcome to Cincinnati! Did the Reds kidnap your family?! Blink twice if you are being kidnapped or blackmailed!”
Redshirt
After that long Mandatorium… a look at the peeps in the Clubhouse Monday morning. You got class Mr Hippo.
2Pack
WCS
THESE GUYS, THE NEW ORLEANS SAINTS, I CALL THEM TEENAGERS BEFORE DRIVERS ED BECAUSE THEY AREN’T GOING TO SCORE WITHOUT A CARR!
LemonJello
I love her, but good christ give me some room
jjfozz
Oh hey, found the Manningcast! Yay!
Darth Hoodie is a way better commentator than Dreamboat
Doktor Zymm
He’s really likeable. Who knew?
Gumbygirl
Hurricane Milton goes from Cat 1 to 5 in 4 hours and is causing NOAA to again rethink adding a Cat 6 category. Hurricane Milton is a Gruden Grinder.
Spur
“Tampa Bay Lightning more like Tampa Bay Ruins if I have anything to say about it.” – Hurricane Milton
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Season Opener edition of RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!
Mr. Ayo
LagerDudeJoe, you can take my ticket for free on Oct 19th if wanted. I’ll be out of town.
Mr. Ayo
/books flight to Seattle
//deletes post where I called Mr. Ayo “America’s Hitler”
///fucks couch
SonOfSpam
“Robert Saleh seems like he’ll go down a pretty forgettable Jets Head Coach.”
-Mike Maccagnan
blaxabbath
ESPN announcers just openly mocking the Chicago Blackhawks power play. Good. I get the whole rebuilding thing, but organizations should be shamed for icing shitty teams.
Dunstan
“power play”
“icing”
Gonna take a bit to get used to these wacky terms
SonOfSpam
A power play is what Aaron Rodgers did to get his coach fired.
Icing is what the Bengals did to their own kicker.
Glad to help!
Dunstan
Just watched a video of the NOAA Hurricane Hunters flying into Milton. Much respect to those people because fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck that.
Sharkbait
can indentify
Don T
Found a funny:
me: im a private chef
date: oh? what kinds of things do you cook
me: [eyes narrow] wouldn’t you like to know
rockingdog
Down the street, early this morning:
Brick Meathook
Rodgers getting on the plane after Jets loss in London
He sees Saleh
The call is made to Woody
Saleh is fired
clint greasewood
Redshirt
Well, reading QAarons denial only solidified my hunch that Qaaron TOTALLY got Saleh axed.
The most damning part is the last sentence: “…and I’ve gotten to know Robert’s family.”
Case closed.
https://www.nbcsports.com/nfl/profootballtalk/rumor-mill/news/aaron-rodgers-i-resent-the-patently-false-allegations-that-i-got-robert-saleh-fired
BeefReeferLives
So weird that grifters, shitheads and Republicans always use the phrase “patently false” when denying accusations.
scotchnaut
Bob Costas: ‘What was it that Mark Twain said?”
Me: God, I hope it was ‘shut the fuck up, Bob Costas.’
Horatio Cornblower
Dodger fans are the reason why I will not go back to Dodger Stadium. They’re also the reason my granddaughters have never been there.
Fuck Ken Rosenthal with a bronzed bow tie. Racist shit fuck.
yeah right
While not all Los Angeles Dodgers fans are violent criminals, all violent criminals are, in fact, Los Angeles Dodgers fans.
blaxabbath
Guys, TSN is showing college football and not the Leafs pregame dinner. I am worried how their day will affect their run to the cup.
litre_cola
You know what annoys me is when you go round to
someone’s house and they make you take your shoes off at the front door. 9 times out of 10 they don’t even have a bouncy castle.
2Pack
It definitely feels nice to be on the other end of a big thursday night for once this season.
Sharkbait
Fantasy football is stupid. This game is stupid. I hate everything.
Mr. Ayo
‘Wow, the 49ers are apparently kicking ass! I should check FF and see how the one decent move I made this season, picking up Jordan Mason, is doi…”
aaaaaannnnnnnd he’s dead.
Horatio Cornblower
THESE 49rs I CALL THEM DEANNA FAVRE BECAUSE NIGHT AFTER NIGHT THEY AREN’T ABLE TO FINISH
Doktor Zymm
ballsofsteelandfury
Boy, her neck must be really knotted up!
Horatio Cornblower
Whelp, I’ve put off my self evaluation up to the deadline – god I hate those fucking things – so here are a few lines I’m using, lemme know if they’re spot on:
- always ready to bring the pain
- committed to killing those who need it
- happiest when surrounded by flames
- stomping on PC co-workers a favorite
- doesn’t give one solid fuck about you
jjfozz
I saw this today, and I thought of Qaron.
Gumbygirl
In honor of the excuse of it being Canadian Thanksgiving I’m knocking off work early and having the traditional Canadian dinner that I just made up of champagne and peanutbutter cups
Doktor Zymm
I am certain a lot of you got some of these also. But my daughter who lives in Maine sent me these last night and I found them to be astonishing.
DJ TAJ
I don’t usually look at the pics much, but I gotta say that it’s true that us ladies 100% enjoy our tea exactly like Miss 2. Can be awkward for work meetings tho
Doktor Zymm
Wow, I’ve been going to the wrong work meetings for a long time then.
Mr. Ayo
Just told mom in law we are transitioning as I pour her a rose.
litre_cola
Good luck with your new cooter!
SonOfSpam
Folks, I woke up today on a mission.
The other day I noticed something moving on my red pepper flake bottle.
I have pantry moths.
Motherfucker.
I grabbed a trash bag and started throwing shit out.
Then I noticed they got in my semolina flour.
My fresh pasta flour!
Then I put on my war face and called in the air strike.
This aggression will not stand, man!
yeah right
Burn it all down. Collect insurance. Find a new apartment.
Wait, first step is remove all valuables.
Mr. Ayo
Kill it with fire
litre_cola
LSU students with the same stunned looks on their faces as when they learn about Amendments 13-15.
Horatio Cornblower
Youngest Fozz had his first goal of the season today. “What took you so long?” And he got all upset. Kids these days.
jjfozz
Jerrah Jones math:
1 pile of coke plus this other pile of coke equals 3 days and nights of straight whore’n and possible 5 more illegitimate children.
clint greasewood
Bearsenscheissing vs Jagurasing. The surmountable force meets the moveable object.
Col. Duke LaCross
[wife announces she’s heading off to Thanksgiving get-together hosted by grifting, money-hungry MIL]
Me: “Maybe you could leave your credit and debit cards with me?…”
Wifey: [gives me a dirty look]
scotchnaut
Deshaun 5-11 and sacked three times and Cleveland can’t sit him. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
scotchnaut
LemonJello
Will Levis, figuring his passes might be less-interceptible if he throws the ball end-over-end.
Col. Duke LaCross
/loads chamber with “Oh, Bears fan with a QB opinion”
Don T
Hey, we know shitty quarteredbacking when we see it!
Col. Duke LaCross
Actual sequence…
Announcer: “Bryce Young finally has the opportunity to learn from true veteran leadersh..”
Right as Dalton throws one of the easiest and most telegraphed interceptions of the day to put a bullet in the game.
Col. Duke LaCross
Youngest right is 35 today. I gave her an authentic Irish sweater made with 100% irish wool in a lovely shade of green. She loved it.
And yes that makes me feel old in every way.
yeah right
That’s Rikki’s Raiders!
Mr. Ayo
Just set up a macro to post this every 5 minutes
Doktor Zymm
Nobody will admit. But Harbaugh ate a fish taco with a fork. That’s what.
Don T
clint greasewood
Wtf Temu? They’re advertising a litter box big enough for an adult human. I must have gotten Cutler’s browser history somehow.
Doktor Zymm
How do they figure out “Next Gen Stats”?
Redshirt
They make them up, but use a more modern font.
LemonJello
Every time I watch the Giants play I regret not buying carrot cake.
yeah right
ballsofsteelandfury
LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU, JOE! IT”S A DEMON!
Oh, no. It’s Dungy.
LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU, JOE! IT’S TONY DUNGY!
Unsurprised
Keep in mind that I will look like the banner picture [ SNF open thread] in a few days. Oh, and my green contact lenses arrive tomorrow!
What midlife crisis?
ballsofsteelandfury
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Thanks for all the comments and funny and everything else.
Stay busy and safe out there.
NOTE banner image from here
Amari to the Bills!
Getting to play in Cleveland and Buffalo in the same season is something.
Cooper RN
This would be considered cosmopolitan 100 years ago.
Of course, 100 years ago …
Watching the horror movie “Thanksgiving”. Not bad at all. Loved the Jersey Girl hair spray.
Just would like to point out that my 1-5 team in Freezer Vodka totally rocks and the other 1-5 teams really suck.
I am 5-1, second place in the Lowratio league! It’s mixed up, muddled up, shook up world. Except for Lola.
Lola, on the right, says hi
On one hand I like the rookies on the team and would be happy to see them do well, but on the other the Bears are just so much funnier when they’re terrible
Green contacts update:
They arrived yesterday and I put them on. Good reviews from the family and Lady Balls.
Hell, I’d do me.
it rubs the lotion on it’s skin or it gets the hose again
Didja say to your folks “Finally, the güero you always wanted”?
I’m already the güero. Now they have the Scandinavian they always wanted.
Is that Español for WASP??
Darker than me, homey
Bravo
Yeah but you’ve never been all that picky
This is true.
Not to be impolite, but isn’t “lady balls” what they call the testicles of Thai ladyboys?
Sorry, couldn’t find a song called Green-Eyed Balls, so you get this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIxvRooN-bE
One of my favorite songs.
It’s as 70s a song as you can get. Meant mostly as a compliment.
Mississippi Queen to me is also one.
Funny, always had you figured as more of a “brown-eye” person.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UfmkgQRmmeE
Why do I suddenly hear Goodbye Horses?
Taking time to pause and revisit where we have been is very noble work. Thank you GTD, our window to the past. Mister nostalgia. Speaking of which… Never Forget!
The only two good things about that movie.
Rodgers gets another friend. Adams to the Jets
Hunter Renfrow upon hearing the news, dramatic re-creation:
Him, too.
Best Kneel Before Zod impression I have ever seen.
Kubrick Stare
Gettin’ the band back together.