Are you as excite as I am?? MAYBE!!
LSU (-2.5) at Arkansas (7:00, ESPN)
This is a tricky spot for the Tiggs. Pig Sooey absolutely despises LSU, and they’ve already bared their piggy teeth by beating Tennessee. It’s nice to have a week where one can enthusiastically root against Brian Kelly.
Georgia (+4.5) at Texas (7:30, ABC)
Game of the Century (uh duh WEEK)? I guess we’ll see. Steerfuckers South have looked very, very good – but ain’t nobody going through the SEC meatgrinder unbeaten. Carson Beck needs a performance to get his NFL Draft stock going back in a positive direction.
Unded Bill Snyders (-2.5) at Wet By God Virginia (7:30, Fox)
Another week, another intriguing night matchup in Morganhole. This sure do seem to happen a lot. Say a prayer for Coach Neal Brown, who may have…bit off MOAR than they can chew, by insinuating “at least you get shitfaced and have fun” at these games, despite the fact that his side keep losing them all.
Kenfucky (-1.5) at Florida (7:45, SECN)
Historically, the Florida Men have won this matchup about 95% of the time. So…it ain’t good for jorb security, for Billy Napier to be a home dog to the Blue Moons. We’ll see how his Gators react to blowing the win in Knoxville last weekend.
UNLV (-6.5) at Oregon State (10:00, CW)
Hey, the rando CW network makes an appearance! But it seriously is a pretty solid Tweaker Fixture. The non-Southern Rebs lost their QB to an NIL payment dispute, but they just keep rolling under the backup. Niiiiiiccccceeee Beaver have found the sledding tougher than Wazzu, in the 2-PAC world. Mourns ya till ah joins ya, homey.
TCU (+3.5) at Team Secular Big Love (10:30, ESPN)
Boy howdy, have both of these sides’ seasons gone off the rails. Less than two years after crashing the national title game, Sonny Dykes and his Bloodeyes look completely lost. You can’t imagine he’ll actually get fired, but then again…it’s Texas. Whereas Utah was everybody’s “won’t it be interesting to see them in the 12-team playoff” talisman, but Mr. Mojo (not-Rising) is hurt/out for the season again, and they just haven’t had any luck with MILF-Hunter Z’s little brother. Desperate teams can make for good football, though. Maybe this is worth an eye from the comfort of one’s bed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yLxcfk_bjNo
Balls’ great-grand dad’s lost classic!
Of course my number two running back is a game time decision. At 6:30 in the morning. Which means I have to get up even earlier to change my lineup on the slight chance he’s good to go. I have a bench guy, he’s been ok the past week or two. Maybe I should just live with him. None of this matters, because BC Dick is going to crush me. Why did I think fantasy football might be fun?
There are better worlds than this.
In a care box to me in Afghanistan, my mom included a copy of Angela’s Ashes.
It made me feel pretty spoiled to be living in a time of joke wars.
*kicklines into clubhouse wearing a pinstriped bandana around his wing-wong*
https://youtu.be/le1QF3uoQNg
Go Mets and/or Dodgers
Well earned.
Fly that wing wang flag!
(year 2010)
“wish for the yankees to never again return to the world series”
*monkey’s paw curls*
(year 2024)
“ok, nevermind, get us out of this hellworld.”
*monkey’s paw uncurls*
oh, Cleveland
look, if you have a bunch of your fanbase still clinging on to chief wahoo, shit like that will continue eternally
Cleveland gives hope and then they take it right back.
They’re a bunch of Guardian Givers!
Neal Brown, your services will no longer be required at Milan Puskar Stadium.
These Chick-fil-A pimento cheese things do not photograph well at all. They look like a chicken sandwich with barf on them.
As long as it isn’t gay barf!
No Chick-fil-A for me from here on out.
Popeyes is so much better.
Too fat to get drunk
I’mma sleep now, ain’t justifying these shenanigans with my viewership. See y’all MANDATORILY IN 11 HOURS.
We’ll let you know in the AM if Arnold Palmer’s dong trends again.
It’s pretty weird to be thinking about professional golfers showering together. Even weirder to get in front of a microphone and talk about it.
https://images.app.goo.gl/JwDgAjY4axdTzpvu7
You can’t make us do it. This bottle of jame-O wants to fight you
Always the angel on the shoulder giving advice.
Game like this, it’s gonna drive the Texas coach to drink.
Oh so now Texas likes flip-floppers?
fuck me, how I hate the state of Texas. Just fucking secede already
Don’t even do that. We’ll give it do you. Enjoy it.
That’s like 100,000$ being thrown on the field
Oh shit
They throwing tons of bottle into the field
Yikes!
…and heeeere come the pretzels
You can call them Whitey Whackers!
Fans throwing garbage on the field in Austin!
give him an extra 15!
(or just give them a break BECAUSE they threw trash at you)
Fans are throwing each other on the field?
They call that Payne Rayne.
They’re only happy when it rains
THROW IT ALL!! BURN IT TO THE GROUND!!!
My big bro looked at me and asked if I still had a gambling account. Because he thought Horns Up would win. I believe
oh dear Jeebus, I just realized we all have to suffer through Jest/Stillers tomorrow night. Does anyone have some extra opium??
Stillers/Gints the following week, on Monday Night!
Your ass was warned.
yeah, but that won’t be MANDATORY
My friend. I am wasted. That game is at 7, is trash, Khan London lost today. I am going to need to take a personal day. Cough.
See? Best stay home and keep everyone safe.
There really is no point getting Sunday Ticket if you’re a Steelers fan.
Finally made it. Like the Texas defense, I see no one noticed if I was here or not 🙂
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8tPsaSPraks&list=PL81_CtYCym28wjmLK7DadBj3TVZB-FpMQ&index=3
Georgia choking like David Carradine holding Tony Dungy’s kid’s hand
why haven’t we blown up the moon yet DUE SOMETHING Sleepy Joe smgdh
Why would you pitch to Giancarlo Stanton in the month of October?
ANNOUNCER: Don’t throw him a strike, don’t throw him a strike…
FACTORY OF DIRT SADNESS PITCHER: [throws him a strike]
It’s like pitching to Castellanos during a Presidential assassination.
Or, more succinctly…
Evenin. Mason Rudolph starts tomorrow @ Bills 😀. So I bought tomorrow’s cogs tonight. God I love Philip Morris like a warm and manipulative dad.
LOLeafs
This whole, “I’m numb all the way through and it’s not because I’m drunk” feeling about my father’s passing? Yeah, I’m not a fan.
By your account, you were lucky to have him as a father. It’s a great loss, but death is inevitable. My best wishes for you and your family.
Found a funny:
The thing where you put your hands on top of someone else’s and then they try to slap your hands before you take them away should be a bigger sport
Where did that guy come from
This is a delicioUs defenestration of Steerfuckers South. Steerfuckers North already had their turn in the barrel.
Guess what DFOernos day drunk again?
My “big brother” is moving from Maui to Bermuda and is here for the weekend. 5 bottles of wine deep.
“We should break things up with shots”
“The fuck we should, but I ain’t busy, ok”
Melissa Cola furrows her brow
Probably a stupid question, but how is Alberta between Maui and Bermuda?
You know what?
Never mind, stupid qestion.
It’s a globe thing, you wouldn’t understand
lol sure, like the earth’s not flat you dumbass…do your research
Um….
Canadian should land in Canada once in awhile or Putin will get mad.
Gators just needed to sacrifce Mertz ACL for success
The nephew is in the game.
I swear it’s like we’re all collectively waiting for some weird scandal to happen to that family.
To be clear, I am not rooting for this to happen, it’d just we’re waiting for the other foot to drop
speak FOAR yourself, I am bored and welcome a decapitation
Just waiting for a mysterious bastard born out of wedlock named Eli Manning Rivera to be named starting QB at Rutgers in 10 years.
THESE GUYS THE TEXAS LONGHORNS I CALL THEM LIAM PAYNE CHECKING OUT OF THE CASA SUR HOTEL IN BUENOS AIRES BECAUSE THEY HAVE COME OUT FLAT.
Hey Brocky, I am wearing the IU sweatshirt that I purchased to support Arch Miller. You’re WELCOME.
(this is also my 10% Ron Swanson asserting itself)
Hell yeah!
Forget “drink their milkshake” – Cignetti shat in the milkshake and MADE MATT RHULE drink it.
Texas State Troopers right about now: “But boss we tried to arrest them Georgia boys for speeding but they wasn’t even going 90 in that school zone! I had to let em off with a warning!”
This is the perfect illustration for “everybody’s got a plan until they get hit in the mouth”
will the JV NARRATOR insist that the Manning kid go in now? Or after HT??
I suspect Kirby Smart is an extraordinarily unpleasant humanoid. But fuck it, Go Dawgs!
Why does Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets already sound like a porn parody?
Because you have a filthy mind?
Isn’t “Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire” the actual title? This sounds like as much of a parody as “Dumb Starbucks” (which we happened to drive by while they were setting up).
They should have hired a redhead and called it “The Crotch of Fire”.
Or maybe “Gobbling the Firecrotch”.
Harry Potter and the Dampened Queef
Now that’s much better.
“chamber” is an inherently filthy word, laden with TEH IMPLICATION
Obligatory Soup reference!
https://youtu.be/0XMaMrpibt4?si=x_c57raNnD1pFYzk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eax4oQb5p04
“I found the source of the mysterious ticking noise! It’s from this pipe bomb!”
“YAYYYYYY!”
Absolute classic.
Did my duty and have voted, may the RNG God help us all.
The RNC God will save us all!
[is something of an RC God himself] – Hunter Renfrow, tinkering with his Hornet