Jets! Steel! This Can’t End Well. Your Last Open Thread

It’s been a long day. The Giants lost like a big buncha losers. (typing this at 12:54 EST) Just as an aside, I wish I had the blind, unwarranted  confidence of a Chris Berman-he’s so far past irrelevance and yet he waddles out there every Sunday like he owns the fricking place. Fuck him. Where were we? Oh yeah…

To The Game!

Jets/Steelers:

-Fantasy monkeys are all ascared about wr Wilson’s prospects now that Davante is on the field. Yeah, that uber-talented dude now gets covered by the other team’s #1 cb at least 50% less. Boo Hoo.

-Speaking of, there’s talk of how many plays Adams will be involved in but there’s got to be some routes that Mr. Research and his best buddy know by heart. I just hope that Lazard’s heart isn’t broken because Aaron is moving on.

-It’s yet another standalone game for the Jets-I guess the league thinks that polarizing nutbars that do their own homework bump up the viewership. [thinks for a bit] They’re probably not wrong.

-Useful Poll Results: A majority of Jets fans approved of the latest trade. Duh.

-Beware T.J. Watt, especially since Rodgers leg issues have caused him to be sacked 11 times and hit 30 more times in the last three tilts.

-Do you think Wilson is washed? I do. And yet here he is, trying to breathe some life into an Arthur Smith offense that would have been mid-level in the 80’s.

-Seriously, way back in the day Wilson was a great deep-ball tosser and Pitt only has that Pickens dude that can go long. I’m guessing Sauce has that covered as is the way with his people/emulsions.

Take it away brothers and sisters.

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Sharkbait

That has to be one of the stupidest penalties. Who cares how players get through. More blocked kicks!

Doktor Zymm

Don’t know about that, no pushoff, looks like more for balance than anything

Redshirt

Why can’t Pittsburgh challenge the challenge flag throw?

jjfozz

Also, I helped write a paper on The Death of Ivan Ilych, with supporting quotes and citations on what elements of philosophy could be cited. This include wisdom, awe, and existentialism and how it can help individuals find true happiness in life.

fleshwound_NPG

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Doktor Zymm

Finished my wine, so bourbon or scotch?

Gatoraids

e) all of the above

Sharkbait

What are the options for each?

Doktor Zymm

In CA so this

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Doktor Zymm

Middle is a rum

yeah right

Feels like a bourbon night.

Gumbygirl

Welp, that was disgraceful.

Doktor Zymm

So the least consequential thing about aging that really bugs me, fingernail grooves.

Bogdanski

That got me too. I’m a biologist and I still can’t find a reasonable explanation

Gumbygirl

I have them too.

jjfozz

just finished building a balloon powered car. of course it’s due tomorrow.

Doktor Zymm

Have you gone back to middle school? You’re gonna do really well!

jjfozz

This is for a physics class in high school. Glad we’re shelling out that kind of money.

Doktor Zymm

I actually really miss doing similar dumb stuff, will gladly help out next time I’m in town during the school year

Gatoraids

Mr Wizard salutes you

Redshirt

Uh oh, Russell Wilson has gotten into his Peak Average groove. I’m sorry Steelers Nation wing of the DFO.

The Doctor is sorry, so sorry – YouTube

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Cable guy has got to make that catch

Doktor Zymm

THE FUCK WAS THAT MOTHERFUCKERS?

Doktor Zymm

WTF, I saw Pickens drop HOW MANY Fields passes? And he catches THAT?

WCS

There’s your drive-killing mistake this time. Right on schedule, so well done.

Redshirt

Russell Wilson taking the field for the 2nd Half:

Thank You Masked Assailant – YouTube

Fronkenshteen

(lets go mets)

Redshirt

Hey, the Steelers are wearing their non-italic numbered jerseys. Is this a one-off or did they realize their mistake from the late 90s?

WCS

I love this unis.

Redshirt

Me too, and I hate the Steelers. These uniforms are perfect. You already have your loveable quirk by only having your logo on one side. Why add to it by hitting CTRL+I?

Doktor Zymm

They’re letting Russ cook some botulism stroganoff

Don T

Very motivated and professional 3 & outs by Wildon.

Sharkbait

This crowd if Russ comes out next drive:

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yikes

fleshwound_NPG

holy fucking shit

ballsofsteelandfury

What the fuck was that “pass”?!?

Doktor Zymm

This shitty game makes me want gingerbread for some reason. Like, good gingerbread with real delicious ginger.

Sharkbait

Ive made it the last couple winters. The recipe I have is stupid easy. Just ignore the metric fuckton of butter that goes into it…

Doktor Zymm

Why would I ignore one of the things that makes it sounds pretty awesome? I’m down with ginger shortbread if that’s what it essentially is

Sharkbait

I use the Joy of cooking recipe, so thats pretty much the same thing

Doktor Zymm

Gotta steal my parents copy of that next time I visit, pretty sure they don’t use it anymore and it’s old enough that I can trust they haven’t edited out any butter

yeah right

Furiously takes notes

Redshirt

Screw it. Donald and Harris on Monday Night Football. They can pick the players, coach and have to play at least 15 snaps. Winner takes the election.

Any objections?

WCS

As long as Donny gets to choose his roster exclusively from players from 2016 in their current form.

Doktor Zymm

None. Can you imagine if they had let him buy the Bills?

Redshirt

We wouldn’t be in this mess and the Bills would probably be in Vegas.

Brick Meathook

The Bills would have been the only NFL franchise to somehow go bankrupt.

Doktor Zymm

THE ATLANTIC CITY BILLSMAJALS!

ballsofsteelandfury

PUT FIELDS IN YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKERS!

Redshirt

BE PATIENT WITH WILSON YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKERS!

fleshwound_NPG

IT DOESNT MATTER TOMLIN IS STILL GETTING HIS 9 WINS MOTHERFUCKERS

Doktor Zymm

BUT WHY YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKERS?

Redshirt

BALLSOFSTEELANDFURY IS PROBABLY IN THE MIDDLE OF A SLIGHT, SPORTS-INDUCED MENTAL BREAKDOWN, SEEING A CLEAR PATH TO THE PLAYOFFS GET RUINED BY FRONT OFFICE INTERFERENCE YOU DUMB MOTHERFUCKERS!

Game Time Decision

Just wait for the (nano) bubble to pop

yeah right

I FEEL LIKE SCREAMING MOTHERFUCKERS!

Doktor Zymm

DO IT MOTHERFUCKERS!

The Maestro

Good evening all. What a pile of shit this game is. Hope your days have gone far better than this heap of a product.

The Maestro

This SNF game is still in better shape than Deshaun Watson’s ACL.

Unsurprised

It sounds like watching the Spanish version is paying dividends.

Don T

The Hackett “¿Tiene trabajo?” dead horse flog was 😘👌🏼

Doktor Zymm

If he was British it would be spelled ‘Soss’

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How do you make a Jets – Steelers broadcast even worse? Add Donald Trump.

Gatoraids

hes going to put a tariff on watching the Spanish broadcast

Sharkbait

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

yeah right

Watching Dodgers Mets with no regrets.

SonOfSpam

With lots of pets?
And making bets?

(wait…are you not doing a Dr. Seuss thing?)

yeah right

Certainly not watching the Jets.

Sharkbait

Replay assist: Hey, we have 150 cameras, we should probably use them all to make sure we get the calls right

ballsofsteelandfury

Is it me or is the Steelers offense regressing in real time?

Doktor Zymm

They can, 4-3 is still above .500 so the Tomlin blessing/curse is maintained

fleshwound_NPG

that would assume they ever progressed first

Gatoraids

they seem to have shrunken somehow

Doktor Zymm

Oh, I got my super sequined tacky Washington jacket and it is GLORIOUS

WCS

Stillers nation, let’s forge.

comment image

MOAR dropped passes. That’s your jorb, Georgie.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Did Tirico say “motility is a factor”? Does he know that’s Fields and not Sexy Rexy?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just turned the game on, hopefully Q-A-RON was waiting for me to tune in before getting Theismanned

Doktor Zymm

I’m rooting for the other Achilles, so he’s twinsies both with his past self and Groper Cleveland

Don T

See, Adams drops it and Aaron doesn’t pout.
-Lazard’s shoulder devil

Doktor Zymm

CMON NAJEE GET ALL THE POINTS

yeah right

Quick question for the audience:

Took Wednesday off for birthday reasons.

Which leaves open the idea for dinner.

I can afford anything and everything.

Should I catch an Uber and grab a dinner while letting someone else cook? There’s a local steak place that has a dollar per fresh oyster deal.

Should I stay home and cook my own steak with a red wine, garlic, shallot reduction that will blow any steak place on the planet away?

I can also dial up Uber eats and get something delivered.

Or maybe get my Dublin tattoo touched up, that girl leaned on her tattoo gun like I owed her money, then drive through In-N-Out and get a double double with animal fries?

So many choices!

Last edited 1 month ago by yeah right
Unsurprised

Go out.

Gatoraids

good excuse to go out for streak and oysters, but really combo as many as possible

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Make the trip to Bavel if you haven’t been. Make balls or Rikki meet you there. I’ll Venmo for a round of drinks.

King Hippo

Tomsulas think Aiyuk tore his ACL. Y’all just heard a contention window shut. HARD.

Truthers to playoffs at 8-9??

yeah right

Ladies and gentlemen, your 3-4 Santa Clara Niners!

Doktor Zymm

Stupid fictional people making me like them and feel sad when they have sad things happen. It’s all Canadian television’s fault. Ok football, BE LESS SAD

Unsurprised

HAHAHAHA

Doktor Zymm

I’m really tired. Woke up at 4 this morning and didn’t get back to sleep then did my normal Sunday stuff. Over/under on when I fall asleep during this game?

ballsofsteelandfury

Now

WCS

20 minutes ago?

Doktor Zymm

I mean, I’m clearly still awake so it’s a good thing balls didn’t put any money on his own line

Unsurprised

Are you?

Doktor Zymm

I usually have better dreams than Jest/Stillers, so yes.

Redshirt

.

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Gatoraids

34 number of bowls of icecream Bluebunny had this weekend, 10 number of JJ’s dead hookers

fleshwound_NPG

watching three things

-jets/stillers…can either find a quarterback
-avs/sharks…can colorado find a goalie, can sharks find a good tank
-lynx/liberty…can new york ever find a pro basketball title ever again

King Hippo

My rules for the night include the sound being off AT ALL TIMES. And I’ve already submitted the morning’s article. It gets no recapping whatsoever.

The world is a cold, dark, and unfeeling hellscape. Enjoy Arby’s.

Gatoraids

already dropped those green leeches from the Beastmater in my ears. and Now Im Ready for some Football

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Redshirt

“…and after three fights, thirty-six ejections and a spontaneous wedding ceremony, you’re finally score in Overtime, Pittsburgh 231-New York 229.”

Hippo tomorrow: “Just the usual SNF BS.”

WCS

I haven’t seen anything from today, except just how bad the Gints were.

They’ll beat the Stillers next week.

King Hippo

Nah, with Charmslinger you now have the power of CHRIST!!!

fleshwound_NPG

to win 13-12

Doktor Zymm

and NANOBUBBLES! If it was still Ben it would be NONOBUBBLES

fleshwound_NPG

CHOCO TACOBUBBLES HARF HARF

Doktor Zymm

Are there actually multiple Jets fans?

I’m of the opinion that Russ isn’t mobile enough to play behind this particular O-line, but we’ll see

King Hippo

This has been a very poor MANDATORIUM. Who would have guessed that Jaguras/P*ts would be as good as it gets??

Doktor Zymm

I liked listening to Lions/Vikes, and Watson having his calf spontaneously combust was decent. Otherwise, yeah, lots of meh and even my fantasy teams agree

Unsurprised

Yeah. Lions – Vikings was a good game. Commanders rinsing the Panthers was fun insofar as it’s nice having a team to root for again.

Doktor Zymm

Huzzah to that

ballsofsteelandfury

Moar like VOMITORIUM

fleshwound_NPG

please let this game end 9-11

Unsurprised

Obligatory “jet fuel can’t melt steel beams”

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