Why are we here watching this? [gives the side eye to an ungulate from North Carolina] The NFL isn’t doing us any favors here. You knew Jax would be featured in these games but why send New England over here when making the schedule-they were going to be lousy. But I think the league is of the mind, “Those suckers will watch anything put in front of them, next year let’s have a pig-fucking contest in Cairo, doesn’t matter.”
To The Game!
Pats/Jags:
-The question remains, if the Jags lose will Pederson be fired on the tarmac at Heathrow or tossed from the Tower of London? Will he be told to make his own way home of provided with a dinghy and a paddle? Some writers that follow the team seem to think that both Pederson and OC Press Taylor have lost the room and are not being listened to anymore.
-Drake Maye was a bit of a mixed bag in his debut-he brought some scoring, tossing three TD’s which was more than the Pats had to date but as is the way with rookies, he also threw 2 INT’s and was strip-sacked.
-Brian Thomas Jr. leads all rookie wr’s with 424 yards so far and will likely benefit further with Evan Engram getting more attention. The latter made a smash return last week, hauling in 10 grabs and gaining 102 yards.
-The other young ‘un making a splash is second-year rb Tank Bigsby-he’s got himself a gaudy 7.2 ypc number to his name and there are some calling for him to get more action. Thing is, his pass-blocking is atrocious.
-Good Hands People?: Prison Girlfriend has enough of his own problems but he has been further handicapped by all of his pass-catchers. Jax has led the league in dropped balls since 2022.
Grab yourself a scone and pull up the ottoman, there’s shitty football to watch.
Alright, alright. I’m moving about.
I recorded the game and will watch it in it’s entirety so that counts, right?
My modus operandi. Yes. Avoid the scores /highlight shows until your turn and it counts. Other than the now up to 3 channels transmitting live, AFN shows most of the other games tape delayed throughout Monday. Over here my shield provided joy is extended.
Looks like my parlay is going to poop here because Christian Kirk is getting looks. Has Brian Thomas Jr. completely taken over WR1 duties in Duval?
*NOT getting looks
Kirk almost with the Dagger there.
“Murder John Denver before he writes ‘Country Roads'” is creeping up on “Murder Baby Hitler” on my Time Machine priorities list.
I wonder what “Country Roads” sounds like in German? Metal as fuck?
They sing it in oompah
I’m going into the warehouse during halftime-anyone need a 100oz can of beans, a 10lb tube of ground beef, (frozen) a case of romaine lettuce, 15 9″ pizza boxes, three gallons of Frank’s Red Hot sauce or a coil of kielbasa sausage?
“Me. Me! MeMeMeMeMe!!!!”
-Andy Reid, frantically waving his arms to get your attention
And THAT’S why we watch the NFL. City were handed that one on a plate. Why was the game not stopped when the wolves defender got hit in the head?
Man City getting their shit together.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jl17CYYSzUw&ab_channel=AdultSwim
I’m just going to put this out in the universe for sometime today or tomorrow night:
We need more FATGUYDOWNS
A Thicc Six is always welcome play.
Second week in a row I started a ded guy in TWBS premier league
REL-A-GAYSHUN *clap clap clapclapclap*
Fancy! Mushy peas must agree with the Jaguras!
SUDDENEST CHANGE
Hey man, Napoli wins to keep pace on top of the table. Boy though… are they ever putting them on younger. I really miss Marika.
Oh my dog. A special teams tuddie?
Trump thrusts McDonald’s into the political arena in final days of campaign | CNN Politics
Only french fry? No. Put him on the grill. Put him on front counter. Put him on back cash. Put him on drive thru. On a Saturday morning. MAKE HIM SUFFER! BREAK HIS SPIRIT!!!
Is this all because Harris didn’t put her McD’s job on her law school resume?
Yes, it absolutely is. And it’s shockingly inept from a political standpoint; there’s very little upside for him doing this stunt. If he actually shows up and puts in the full 30 minutes, it’s not going to convert any undecided voters – in fact it might turn some off, because he’ll boast about how easy it was. But any deviation from that and Harris’ campaign will pounce (“He couldn’t even put in half an hour’s worth of actual work! And he wants to be President for four more years?”).
It only works if you have experience with fast food. It can be spun that you are one with the working class and common voter.
But you know Trump has never seen the inside of a kitchen, let alone behind the counter at a fast-food establishment. I’ll put the over and under of him dropping a basket of fries on the floor at 16 minutes.
Is it bad I hope he drops in frozen fries?
I think litrepug over served me.
He was just being a very good boy.
Holy shit!
I was going to go out for breakfast but I decided that was stupid. Instead, I’m here.
Mandatory is about arriving at AM kickoff, my son. Go have breakfast, enjoy the fresh air, and drop in by Most Solemn Red Zone muzak. Amén. /makes sign of the cross with 🚬
Jags D…holds??? Is that the correct terminology?
I’ve heard those words before and comprehended their meanings, but in that order, its complete gibberish.
Door Fl- Remains Locked
Damn it! I forgot the doors are locked for Mandatory Mornings!
Blame the protestants. First touchback is the Catholic deadline.
Thank you Prison Girlfriend! Throw tuddies to Thomas all day!
God damn Wolves almost took the lead there.
the fuck is wrong with City of Men this morning??
I’ve got 115 possible reasons
I like you.
That colour is making them think they’re West Ham.
Well, Jags gonna make a sporting attempt at a game this morning?
That London crowd indifference almost cost a delay of game penalty.
THIS JAGURAS TEAM, I CALL THEM A JAGUAR SEDAN BECAUSE NO MATTER WHAT, THEY’LL FAIL AND BREAK DOWN ANY TIME THEY ARE DRIVING!
Jagura X-types on the field today
The X is for eXtreme!
Not sure I can drive to the pub for Scumbags v Liverpool whisky got me last night. Maybe a coffee will fix that
There can be no winners in that horror show. HARD PASS.
I thought you were drinking wine?
Well my friend had a 2 hour nap and other me may have gotten in to the whisky. Then he woke up and I don’t remember much apart from blaring NOFX and Pennywise
old favoUrite, as sparked by the P*ts placement man
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49IGMvHg3Zs
Canadian National Anthem here
I’m having red wine. My reward after budgeting this PM’s cigs for TEN @ BUF. It’s 2 per QRT, 2 in case of OT, and one right now because OT is nuts, and I gotta settle doon.
methinks the entire staff will get fired after this, they will bring Tom Coughlin out of his crypt to run the Duval men all by his lonesome
Fuck. That. Noise.
Coughlin having 2 rings is conflicting because those were against NEP. But fuck that REEL FITBAW, collective bargaining fine accruer, good FAs keeper awayer, time denier crone.
“It’s also National Tight Ends Day …”
/Perks up
Uh?
Next week. There’s still time for prep.
Lol Jaguras
DeMario in Maths is Hard, Tank in Vodka Premiership, Hippo has now lost all will to live.
I bet you all felt clever for that one. I wonder how many people worked on that line and segue with the bumper and graphic and …
I hate every live football analyst in the 2 seat, but I can now rate their shittiness by how many times, immediately after a play, they utter the phrases “You talk about” or “Y’know we talked about…” before gibbering towards a useless non-point all the way up until the following snap. It’s like the “So,…” that every academic prefaces their answers with now. (Harry Shearer pointed that one out to me on “LeShow”, and now I can’t un-hear it. MADDENING.)
🏆
Shit. I do that.
The Dr. Mrs. has resolved to spank me each time I say “in that regard…”
She’s right though, I should probably try to say it less.
How is that a bad thing?
Collinsworth is the master of that. So annoying.
It helped fill the void in his soul after he eighties ended and he was told he could no longer chase after teenage tail.
Here. Hungover, but here.
Goddammit, I got up seven minutes before this fucking game started and Yahoo wouldn’t let me switch my running back Rhamondre Stevenson from the bench to starter. Watch him go off!
I wouldn’t worry about it. He’s a Patriot. He ain’t doing shit
– Rudy Giuliani, on Merrick Garland
Go back to bed then.
You know what’s gonna happen. Rhamaondre gonna get get like 4.2ondre points and the guy who is playing for you is going to get like six. So it won’t really matter either way because, in the NFL, everyone is a star.
Or at least that’s how my experience with FF has been.
Damn. Jags hate tackling.
It’s like they are conscientious objectors to the practice.
Hippo, you have my bowels to thank for my presence here today. Early morning shits indeed.
PRESENT!
Our bodies know to seek joy.
Joy in pooping? Indeed!
Or should I say, “Ja!”?
Patriots offense in the red zone: Last
Jaguars defense in the red zone: Last
The stoppable force meets the movable object.
Interesting cock ring. Where didya get it?
Harry Potter store.
Parselmouth more like arsetomouth amirite?
Do the Republicans have any national commercials that aren’t about them hating trans people?
Yes London and yes Patriots, but I still can’t believe the Jaguras are favored by a TD
Have you seen the Patriots play this season?
They’re better with Maye, and while that’s not saying a lot, Jaguras don’t have a legitimate defensing unit.
“I’m amazed brits root for the Patriots. Do we come out and support the Tokyo Việt Cộng when they come play exhibition Kung-Fu games?! I sure as I hell don’t! I hang out with Kyle Rittenhouse!”
– J. Vance (R – Clarence Thomas’ Cuck)
Woo hoo! My man Demario’s gonna pop my Freezer Verka cherry.
The fuck he is!
Mrs. Sharkbait is off to SLC for a work conference. Normally we don’t let sharkette watch TV all day, but I can’t in good conscience tell her to take breaks when I’m about to watch football all day
Yes you can.
$
As some guy on a horrible team not playing right now would say, “heeeere we goooo”
Buenas…
This is without question the worst jet lag I’ve ever had. It basically lasted the entire trip to Spain and we’ve been home three days now and I’m still waking up at 3 a.m. The good news is that last night I was able to sleep a bit more thereafter, and the NFL’s current product will actually be quite helpful if I decide to attempt a nap this afternoon.
How have you managed to have jetlag on arriving home if you never got over your jetlag during the trip??
Because we were halfway over it by the end of the trip.
That sounds like chorizo withdrawal, not jet lag.
grumble grumble “chorizo withdrawal” es lo que tuvo tu madre cuando yo estuve de vacaciones el mes pasado grumble grumble
Also worth noting that while we at plenty of jamón, we ate more squid and octopus than anything else. We had one or the other (or both) almost every day.
🤣😅
I just realized I should rename my superflex team to WR Thunderdome. I had Rashee Rice and have Nico on IR, and currently have 4 WR who are all Questionable (both in injury status and point scoring ability)
Yesterday after hiking I thought my team should be called Knee Replacement Theory.
Does I play Chubb on his return? The Cincy run defense couldn’t stop a bag of dead cats.
I probably would, yeah. #ThePauls management has to do whatever it can to take the focus off Groper Cleveland.
Joy is just that much MOAR joyful when it is MANDATORY.
Impositions are sooo endearing
RITE???
(heh, sounds like a man who’s been married FO SHO)
Is porking pork halal?
Relatedly – is the lack of bacon why the Middle East is so fucked up?
Man — a scone does sound good.