What Fresh London Hell Is This? An Open Thread

Why are we here watching this? [gives the side eye to an ungulate from North Carolina] The NFL isn’t doing us any favors here. You knew Jax would be featured in these games but why send New England over here when making the schedule-they were going to be lousy. But I think the league is of the mind, “Those suckers will watch anything put in front of them, next year let’s have a pig-fucking contest in Cairo, doesn’t matter.”

To The Game!

Pats/Jags:

-The question remains, if the Jags lose will Pederson be fired on the tarmac at Heathrow or tossed from the Tower of London? Will he be told to make his own way home of provided with a dinghy and a paddle? Some writers that follow the team seem to think that both Pederson and OC Press Taylor have lost the room and are not being listened to anymore.

-Drake Maye was a bit of a mixed bag in his debut-he brought some scoring, tossing three TD’s which was more than the Pats had to date but as is the way with rookies, he also threw 2 INT’s and was strip-sacked.

-Brian Thomas Jr. leads all rookie wr’s with 424 yards so far and will likely benefit further with Evan Engram getting more attention. The latter made a smash return last week, hauling in 10 grabs and gaining 102 yards.

-The other young ‘un making a splash is second-year rb Tank Bigsby-he’s got himself a gaudy 7.2 ypc number to his name and there are some calling for him to get more action. Thing is, his pass-blocking is atrocious.

-Good Hands People?: Prison Girlfriend has enough of his own problems but he has been further handicapped by all of his pass-catchers. Jax has led the league in dropped balls since 2022.

Grab yourself a scone and pull up the ottoman, there’s shitty football to watch.

5 2 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
146 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
yeah right

Alright, alright. I’m moving about.

I recorded the game and will watch it in it’s entirety so that counts, right?

2Pack

My modus operandi. Yes. Avoid the scores /highlight shows until your turn and it counts. Other than the now up to 3 channels transmitting live, AFN shows most of the other games tape delayed throughout Monday. Over here my shield provided joy is extended.

Fronkenshteen

Looks like my parlay is going to poop here because Christian Kirk is getting looks. Has Brian Thomas Jr. completely taken over WR1 duties in Duval?

Fronkenshteen

*NOT getting looks

LemonJello

Kirk almost with the Dagger there.

Fronkenshteen

“Murder John Denver before he writes ‘Country Roads'” is creeping up on “Murder Baby Hitler” on my Time Machine priorities list.

LemonJello

I wonder what “Country Roads” sounds like in German? Metal as fuck?

Doktor Zymm

They sing it in oompah

LemonJello

“Me. Me! MeMeMeMeMe!!!!”
-Andy Reid, frantically waving his arms to get your attention

Fronkenshteen

And THAT’S why we watch the NFL. City were handed that one on a plate. Why was the game not stopped when the wolves defender got hit in the head?

Unsurprised

I’m just going to put this out in the universe for sometime today or tomorrow night:

We need more FATGUYDOWNS

LemonJello

A Thicc Six is always welcome play.

litre_cola

Second week in a row I started a ded guy in TWBS premier league

LemonJello

REL-A-GAYSHUN *clap clap clapclapclap*

Doktor Zymm

Fancy! Mushy peas must agree with the Jaguras!

King Hippo

SUDDENEST CHANGE

2Pack

Hey man, Napoli wins to keep pace on top of the table. Boy though… are they ever putting them on younger. I really miss Marika.

IMG_20241020_131052.jpg
LemonJello

Oh my dog. A special teams tuddie?

Redshirt

Trump thrusts McDonald’s into the political arena in final days of campaign | CNN Politics

Only french fry? No. Put him on the grill. Put him on front counter. Put him on back cash. Put him on drive thru. On a Saturday morning. MAKE HIM SUFFER! BREAK HIS SPIRIT!!!

Doktor Zymm

Is this all because Harris didn’t put her McD’s job on her law school resume?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yes, it absolutely is. And it’s shockingly inept from a political standpoint; there’s very little upside for him doing this stunt. If he actually shows up and puts in the full 30 minutes, it’s not going to convert any undecided voters – in fact it might turn some off, because he’ll boast about how easy it was. But any deviation from that and Harris’ campaign will pounce (“He couldn’t even put in half an hour’s worth of actual work! And he wants to be President for four more years?”).

Redshirt

It only works if you have experience with fast food. It can be spun that you are one with the working class and common voter.

But you know Trump has never seen the inside of a kitchen, let alone behind the counter at a fast-food establishment. I’ll put the over and under of him dropping a basket of fries on the floor at 16 minutes.

Sharkbait

Is it bad I hope he drops in frozen fries?

litre_cola

I think litrepug over served me.

LemonJello

He was just being a very good boy.

Unsurprised

Holy shit!

Unsurprised

I was going to go out for breakfast but I decided that was stupid. Instead, I’m here.

Don T

Mandatory is about arriving at AM kickoff, my son. Go have breakfast, enjoy the fresh air, and drop in by Most Solemn Red Zone muzak. Amén. /makes sign of the cross with 🚬

LemonJello

Jags D…holds??? Is that the correct terminology?

Redshirt

I’ve heard those words before and comprehended their meanings, but in that order, its complete gibberish.

Redshirt

Door Fl- Remains Locked

Damn it! I forgot the doors are locked for Mandatory Mornings!

Don T

Blame the protestants. First touchback is the Catholic deadline.

Gumbygirl

Thank you Prison Girlfriend! Throw tuddies to Thomas all day!

Fronkenshteen

God damn Wolves almost took the lead there.

King Hippo

the fuck is wrong with City of Men this morning??

Sharkbait

I’ve got 115 possible reasons

litre_cola

I like you.

Fronkenshteen

That colour is making them think they’re West Ham.

LemonJello

Well, Jags gonna make a sporting attempt at a game this morning?

Sharkbait

comment image

Last edited 1 day ago by Sharkbait
Don T

That London crowd indifference almost cost a delay of game penalty.

LemonJello

THIS JAGURAS TEAM, I CALL THEM A JAGUAR SEDAN BECAUSE NO MATTER WHAT, THEY’LL FAIL AND BREAK DOWN ANY TIME THEY ARE DRIVING!

Doktor Zymm

Jagura X-types on the field today

image-272-768x492.png
Unsurprised

The X is for eXtreme!

litre_cola

Not sure I can drive to the pub for Scumbags v Liverpool whisky got me last night. Maybe a coffee will fix that

King Hippo

There can be no winners in that horror show. HARD PASS.

Gumbygirl

I thought you were drinking wine?

litre_cola

Well my friend had a 2 hour nap and other me may have gotten in to the whisky. Then he woke up and I don’t remember much apart from blaring NOFX and Pennywise

King Hippo

old favoUrite, as sparked by the P*ts placement man

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49IGMvHg3Zs

clint greasewood

Canadian National Anthem here

Don T

I’m having red wine. My reward after budgeting this PM’s cigs for TEN @ BUF. It’s 2 per QRT, 2 in case of OT, and one right now because OT is nuts, and I gotta settle doon.

King Hippo

methinks the entire staff will get fired after this, they will bring Tom Coughlin out of his crypt to run the Duval men all by his lonesome

LemonJello

Fuck. That. Noise.

Don T

Coughlin having 2 rings is conflicting because those were against NEP. But fuck that REEL FITBAW, collective bargaining fine accruer, good FAs keeper awayer, time denier crone.

Unsurprised

“It’s also National Tight Ends Day …”

/Perks up

ballsofsteelandfury

Uh?

Unsurprised

Next week. There’s still time for prep.

Doktor Zymm

Lol Jaguras

King Hippo

DeMario in Maths is Hard, Tank in Vodka Premiership, Hippo has now lost all will to live.

Unsurprised

I bet you all felt clever for that one. I wonder how many people worked on that line and segue with the bumper and graphic and …

Fronkenshteen

I hate every live football analyst in the 2 seat, but I can now rate their shittiness by how many times, immediately after a play, they utter the phrases “You talk about” or “Y’know we talked about…” before gibbering towards a useless non-point all the way up until the following snap. It’s like the “So,…” that every academic prefaces their answers with now. (Harry Shearer pointed that one out to me on “LeShow”, and now I can’t un-hear it. MADDENING.)

Don T

🏆

Unsurprised

It’s like the “So,…” that every academic prefaces their answers with now. (Harry Shearer pointed that one out to me on “LeShow”, and now I can’t un-hear it. MADDENING.)

Shit. I do that.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Dr. Mrs. has resolved to spank me each time I say “in that regard…”

She’s right though, I should probably try to say it less.

ballsofsteelandfury

How is that a bad thing?

Gumbygirl

Collinsworth is the master of that. So annoying.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It helped fill the void in his soul after he eighties ended and he was told he could no longer chase after teenage tail.

litre_cola

Here. Hungover, but here.

Gumbygirl

Goddammit, I got up seven minutes before this fucking game started and Yahoo wouldn’t let me switch my running back Rhamondre Stevenson from the bench to starter. Watch him go off!

ballsofsteelandfury

I wouldn’t worry about it. He’s a Patriot. He ain’t doing shit

blaxabbath

– Rudy Giuliani, on Merrick Garland

blaxabbath

Go back to bed then.

You know what’s gonna happen. Rhamaondre gonna get get like 4.2ondre points and the guy who is playing for you is going to get like six. So it won’t really matter either way because, in the NFL, everyone is a star.

Or at least that’s how my experience with FF has been.

Don T

Damn. Jags hate tackling.

King Hippo

It’s like they are conscientious objectors to the practice.

ballsofsteelandfury

Hippo, you have my bowels to thank for my presence here today. Early morning shits indeed.

PRESENT!

King Hippo

Our bodies know to seek joy.

ballsofsteelandfury

Joy in pooping? Indeed!

ballsofsteelandfury

Or should I say, “Ja!”?

Sharkbait

Patriots offense in the red zone: Last
Jaguars defense in the red zone: Last

The stoppable force meets the movable object.

blaxabbath

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

Interesting cock ring. Where didya get it?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Harry Potter store.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Parselmouth more like arsetomouth amirite?

Doktor Zymm

Do the Republicans have any national commercials that aren’t about them hating trans people?

Doktor Zymm

Yes London and yes Patriots, but I still can’t believe the Jaguras are favored by a TD

Sharkbait

Have you seen the Patriots play this season?

Doktor Zymm

They’re better with Maye, and while that’s not saying a lot, Jaguras don’t have a legitimate defensing unit.

blaxabbath

“I’m amazed brits root for the Patriots. Do we come out and support the Tokyo Việt Cộng when they come play exhibition Kung-Fu games?! I sure as I hell don’t! I hang out with Kyle Rittenhouse!”

– J. Vance (R – Clarence Thomas’ Cuck)

Don T

Woo hoo! My man Demario’s gonna pop my Freezer Verka cherry.

litre_cola

The fuck he is!

Sharkbait

Mrs. Sharkbait is off to SLC for a work conference. Normally we don’t let sharkette watch TV all day, but I can’t in good conscience tell her to take breaks when I’m about to watch football all day

blaxabbath

Yes you can.

$

Doktor Zymm

As some guy on a horrible team not playing right now would say, “heeeere we goooo”

Don T

Buenas…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is without question the worst jet lag I’ve ever had. It basically lasted the entire trip to Spain and we’ve been home three days now and I’m still waking up at 3 a.m. The good news is that last night I was able to sleep a bit more thereafter, and the NFL’s current product will actually be quite helpful if I decide to attempt a nap this afternoon.

Doktor Zymm

How have you managed to have jetlag on arriving home if you never got over your jetlag during the trip??

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Because we were halfway over it by the end of the trip.

Don T

That sounds like chorizo withdrawal, not jet lag.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

grumble grumble “chorizo withdrawal” es lo que tuvo tu madre cuando yo estuve de vacaciones el mes pasado grumble grumble

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Also worth noting that while we at plenty of jamón, we ate more squid and octopus than anything else. We had one or the other (or both) almost every day.

Don T

🤣😅

Doktor Zymm

I just realized I should rename my superflex team to WR Thunderdome. I had Rashee Rice and have Nico on IR, and currently have 4 WR who are all Questionable (both in injury status and point scoring ability)

King Hippo

I probably would, yeah. #ThePauls management has to do whatever it can to take the focus off Groper Cleveland.

King Hippo

Joy is just that much MOAR joyful when it is MANDATORY.

Don T

Impositions are sooo endearing

King Hippo

RITE???

(heh, sounds like a man who’s been married FO SHO)

Doktor Zymm

Is porking pork halal?

King Hippo

Relatedly – is the lack of bacon why the Middle East is so fucked up?

blaxabbath

Man — a scone does sound good.