Footy Footy Everywhere – The Aforementioned Second Part

Slap yourself in the face, pour MOAR coffee down your gullet – we gots MOAR FITBAW!!!

West By God Virginia (+3.5) at Arizona – 7:00 (FS1)

Look, I said MOAR – not GOOD.  Winner keeps its season alive(ish).  Clubhouse Derby, at least (WCS v. Blax, if y’all is new and/or slow)..

Paedo State (-6.5) at Wisconsin – 7:30 (NBC)

Like most outside of that godforsaken cheese-laden state, I think Bucky Badger is a fraud.  But fuck, I sure hope not.  For one week only.

LSU (+2.5) at Bonfire Cult – 7:30 (ABC)

Battle between the SEC Paaaaawwwwwlllll’s last two undefeateds.  Surely, it must mean MOAR?  I guess we shall see.

Kansas (+10) at Kansas State – 8:00 (ESPN2)

I have no idea what they call this rivalry.  Winner gets to be King of the White Ppl, maybe?

SMU (-11.5) at Duke – 8:00 (ACCN)

As you can see, Vegas don’t believe in the Devils.  But unless there are massive suspensions, I see this as a fairly even matchup between Methodist stalwarts?  Didja know that Everton is also of Methodist heritage?  Well, fuck you – ya do NOW.

Team JV WKRP (+5.5) at Colorado – 10:15 (ESPN)

Man, fhese sure is slim Tweaker pickings.  I think very little of both of these programs, but one will go into November thinking they have a shot at the BIg Twaaaaaalve title game.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Gatoraids

Scenes from a Malt Liquor showcase tomorrow

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OPSx283jpJE

ballsofsteelandfury

I’ll start the day off with this: As I have been researching for today’s events, I have run into some reviews of various brews. One particular one stood out in that it said the brew tasted like octogenarian Mexican streetwalker bathwater.

I don’t know if that meant it had a spicy kick…

Don T

Fish sauce and urine overtones are usually associated with senility.

Mr. Ayo

I’m beginning to think the release of a kraken is not nearly as effective as advertised for winning ice ball games.

Brick Meathook
2Pack

We just did the DST fall back thing over here.
For comment, the attached view…
/ he knows where this is going…
// yes he did it on purpose…

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WCS

the 1978 is strong with this one.

yeah right

My life needs more structure.

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BugEyedBoo

Blast from the past: Steely Dan – Aja. I started listening to Steely Dan when I was in the Army, and up to that point I didn’t listen to anything like Aja. Still aren’t, really; I don’t listen to jazz at all. But Aja is good stuff; top ten on my personal list for sure, maybe top five.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hx5ZlTyzU-k&list=OLAK5uy_nNSt2pxzqur9OlUok2h9mJDnHQ1YqFA-8&index=5

Horatio Cornblower

Welp, congratulations to your 2024 World Series Champion Los Angeles Dodgers.

Aaron Judge can’t hit water falling out of a boat, everyone not named Juan Soto or Giancarlo Stanton can’t hit, and Aaron Boone capped off last night by not thinking to put in a pinch runner for Stanton, who might be the slowest runner in MLB, in the 9th inning, when the Yankees finally got something going.

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yeah right

Have faith. Take three at home.

It’s up to you. New. York!

Horatio Cornblower

I was stunned they got this far. They are a very flawed team with an idiot for a manager. The AL was very, very bad this year.

Still, I root for them.

Redshirt

Welp, at least I’ll be able to get some sleep. Night everyone.

WCS

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Nicely done.

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/realization redshirt will have gotten an entire sleep in before I leave.

dang

Redshirt

Stay Classy, Lesser M-CH-G-N!

Horatio Cornblower

“fight”

herodotus450

They say Ayatollah Khameini is sick, luckily my “Ayatollah Assaholla” tshirt is timeless.

Redshirt

Famous Last Words: “اگه اشتباه میکنم خدا نابودم کنه”

BugEyedBoo

Khameini, Khomeini, hummanna hummanna.

Doktor Zymm

MOO DENG!

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Col. Duke LaCross

Greased and lethal!

WCS

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blaxabbath

There’s a cul de sac party thing in front of my house. I’m tired. It’s been going all day — and the 7 tvs out there with sports on seems like a pretty arbitrary broadcast to me. And you all know i don’t care about the JV-For-Pay lifestyle

I have avoided everyone quite well-like. So I think I’m going to make sure my wife knows I’m leaving then Irish goodbye.

It feels good to be socializing again.

herodotus450

They named a town in Colorado Telluride because they thought there would be a bunch of Telluride there. Turns out there wasn’t. The bar was set low out there in CO and doesn’t seem to have been raised.

Redshirt

Fourth Down? What the hell is a Fourth Down?!” – Cincinnati Bearcats Defense

Fronkenshteen

When Soto got that base hit to start the 9th, all I needed to hit my parlay was LA -1.5. I’m the Mayor of fucking Mushville.

Fronkenshteen

Bailed out by Aaron Boone!

Horatio Cornblower

At least he’s paying off for one of us.

Redshirt

Recap of the JV Bengals success at stopping the Buffalos’ Rushing Attack on the previous drive:

The Proclaimers – I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles) (Official Music Video) – YouTube

WCS

Every time I start to say hello, some inconsiderate jackass interrupts me.

“Oh, my daughter stepped on a nail!”
“There’s a weird van parked in the same spot for two days, but the windows are down and the van bounces like someone’s inside.”
“The fire in the kitchen is spreading into the living room. What should I do?”

I don’t know people, and I don’t care. What do you think this is, anyway? I’ve got dick jokes to make, and WVU football to yell about…

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ballsofsteelandfury

DON’T COME A KNOCKING WHEN THE VAN’S A ROCKING!

Horatio Cornblower

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2Pack

Some people can’t get out of their own way…

Redshirt

Taking away a touchdown due to a player flashing a Peace Sign is Peak BLEERGH.

Doktor Zymm

Was it a violent peace sign?

blaxabbath

I’m gonna pay NIL money to kids to challenge the NCAA rules. Like, here’s $10k — I need you to perform a throat slash but with a peace sign.

Redshirt

Follow up with the DX Crotch Chop but while signing “I love you” with both hands.

Col. Duke LaCross

Ohtani ded?

Fronkenshteen

Hurt his shoulder trying to steal 2nd.

ballsofsteelandfury

Did anyone bet on him getting injured?

WCS

Pete Rose did, but he may have some difficulty collecting on it.

yeah right

Looked like a wrist injury. Didn’t look good.

Redshirt

Maybe a sprain.

Horatio Cornblower

They’re saying shoulder, but man his wrist made some weird movements during the slide.

Redshirt

Every time they are on the elevated platform of success, someone always falls off.

WCS

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Sweet, nourishing cynicism!

Unsurprised

Jesus Christ …

Didn’t save that day

Fronkenshteen

Has anyone ever actually seen Anthony Volpe hit a baseball?

Gatoraids

No unless hes in
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Col. Duke LaCross

Saw him drip one into the short porch last spring.

I thought it was the edible until I saw the box score the next morning.

Horatio Cornblower

Yes, but it was last year.

Honestly, other than Soto, Stanton and, the last two games anyway, Chisholm, everyone of these fuckers might as well go up there with Wiffle bats for all the good they’re doing.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My middle finger is getting sore from flipping off the Fox News anchors every time they show up on my TV screen.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s not a question of whether Tom Brady is *ready* for his announcing job, it’s a question of whether he’s any good at it. (he is not)

Gatoraids

good at paying for jiu-jitsu instructors

Fronkenshteen

Yeah, that whole strawman thing really pisses me off. Like Bill Hicks said, man, fevered egos.

yeah right

Oh look!

FOX brought back the glowing puck effect for the home run!

It’s magically stupid.

Doktor Zymm

Found an informative map of Portugal for you!

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yeah right

Thank you!

yeah right

That’s actually very helpful and it looks like I’ve made the right choice.

Horatio Cornblower

Man, that Lazy People district is calling my name.

Unsurprised

The Lazy People district is also Desert

LemonJello

A Tim Couch/Najeh Daveport love child is JD Vance’s wet dream made real

Mr. Ayo

Doyers in 4!

Mr. Ayo

Time for a weekend special edition of RELEASE THE KRAKEN!!!!

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LemonJello

I just hope that someday they get a few more fans to attend their games.

Mr. Ayo

#MeToo

In the meantime I’m an MVP!

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Last edited 25 days ago by Mr. Ayo
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

No plans to “End Racism”?

Mr. Ayo

Next year?

2Pack

Indeed

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ArmedandHammered

Every time I hear the name “Mookie” I think of a cow trying to “cookie”.

LemonJello

“Moo Key” is what a toddler Andy Reid used to access the cattle barn for a midnight snack

Col. Duke LaCross

Well, MVP, if you’re just gonna strike out every time, at least make him throw 7-10 pitches to do it.

Horatio Cornblower

If I were managing the Yankees Judge doesn’t see the field in Game 3. Sorry, big man, love what you bring to the team in the regular season and you’re undoubtedly a great guy, but you are hitting .154 in the post-season, in the last two games you’re 1 for 8 with 5 strikeouts, and Stevie Wonder seems to have a better grasp of the strike zone than you currently do. Get your shit together.

yeah right

Horatio, believe it or not I’m cheering for your squad because my hatred of the Dodgers runs very, very deep.

Still gotta say, last night’s game was electric.

Let’s tune into game 2 shall we?

Doktor Zymm

Bathrobe+hammock+fuzzy blanket = super cozy

Doktor Zymm

We’ve just gotten it the last few days, very much enjoying it!

Unsurprised

Eh. It’s been raining and cold and it sucks.

scotchnaut

Wifey and I always told our kids, “If your friends ever run into trouble with their family they can always stay here”. Looks like we’ll be hosting for the 10th time this evening.

Doktor Zymm

Good for you, unfortunate for the kid

scotchnaut

We only get part of the story but there are some weird, unreasonable parents out there. Not something that the homeless kids conversation ever addresses.

/we’ve housed four kids whose parents demanded that they pay all the bills after they graduated high school. WTF?

ArmedandHammered

The parents lost everything gambling?

scotchnaut

Not sure. As far as I can tell, they’re users and manipulators that want to supplement their income.

edit: The mother is a nurse that makes good money, the step-dad a lazy contractor.

Last edited 25 days ago by scotchnaut
ArmedandHammered

My kids owe me nothing except that dose of morphine to kill me before the dementia claims me.

Horatio Cornblower

We charged rent after the kids graduated college and had real jobs, but I can’t imagine demanding a high school graduate pay all the bills. That’s just shitty.

Hell, I’m still paying phone bills for both of them and car insurance for one. It would be two, but the oldest one moved out of state. And my insurance still went up this year.

LemonJello

Or, 10 apprentices out there “doing the lords work” culling the hobo population in greater Canadia, eh?

blaxabbath

I’m waiting to see what kinds of friends blaxito makes.

Sometimes it’s just best to let people with bad families go join the military.

ballsofsteelandfury

It’s a good thing the Steelers don’t play until Monday Night. Tomorrow is going to be ugly.

I’m playing golf at 6:45 AM and then coming home to do the malt liquor tasting. I have 7 (seven!) candidates and currently looking for an 8th. If I find it after golf, it will be included.

I’m prepping my internal organs by drinking today. Cannot give them too much of a shock…

yeah right

Christ, hope you took Monday off.

LemonJello

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2Pack

Who Dares Wins

Mr. Ayo

What a dire slate of games. #Thankful I have other options this evening.

Mr. Ayo

Yes and of course. Can’t believe how cheap it is to see them go.