Your Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

Well, well, well. We’re into the double digits now friends as week 10 is upon us. There doesn’t seem to be that much going on in the football world-it’s as though some ginormous calamity has overshadowed everything else. I’ll share a few things with you and then we’ll get into the usual.

-Have you ever heard a fox call for a mate and/or howl in heat? At 3am? Less than 15 yards from your back door? It sounds, by turns, like an adult in the middle of a lengthy torture session or a baby with a speech impediment crying for its mother. Of course our dogs went bananas and wifey was insisting there was a wounded person in our driveway. Good times.

-I’m near the end of the book Love Goes to Buildings on Fire: Five Years in New York That Changed Music Forever. It covers the mid-70’s so of course punk, New Wave and rap are covered but this author goes far beyond-classical, salsa, disco, whatever Laurie Anderson does and rock are referenced. It’s remarkably thorough and the interplay between the various personalities is fascinating. Highly recc’ed.

Minutiae:

-I spelled it right without looking for the first time!

-James Jones, the middling Packer wr that is now a talking head somewhere, accused Dak of quitting on his teammates by being sidelined with a hammy. It turns out that he suffered a partial avulsion which means that part of the tendon pulled away from the bone. (it hurt to type that) He’ll be gone for more than 4 weeks I’m guessing.

-Prison Girlfriend looks like a no-show for the game this week so we get to see what chunky Mac Jones has made of himself the last little while. Those of you with the Vikes D are in a good spot.

To The Game!

Bengals/Ravens:

-Burrow is coming off a 5 TD game and the last time he played Baltimore he tossed-you guessed it-5 TD’s.

-That said these two offenses are different animals. (Duh!) The Ravens have the largest percentage of plays that go for 10+ yards and the Bengals have the very least.

-Since Tee Higgins has gone down, the leading secondary receiver has been Mike Gesicki and his 173 yards and two TD’s over the last two games. Joe has a weird crush on tight ends-didn’t he turn Tanner Hudson into a thing last year for a few weeks?

-The Ravens D is a bit unfocused-they are 4th in sacks and yet they surrender the 7th-best passer rating.

-Tre’Davious White came on board via the trade deadline and were Ravens fans happy about solidifying their secondary? Nope, they wanted a pass rusher. Some people’s kids…

-Tight end Likely is out so Charlie Kolar is going to vulture your Andrews TD. Sorry about that.

Let’s not even think about the mandatory Panthers/Giants game Sunday morning.

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Redshirt

Now if the Bengals Defense could be inclined to do something, that would be helpful.

Redshirt

I’m a witch!

Redshirt

Nevermind.

TheRevanchist

You remember Eli Apple? At least you are free from that mess.

WCS

I see the peyote both teams took at halftime is finally kicking in.

WCS

Apparently, they also bought some meth from Jesse Pinkman, and smoked that just now, too.

Mr. Ayo

And Mr. Chase has single handily killed this week’s fantasy games for me.

Christ, what an asshole.

TheRevanchist

I have a fantasy with a flex position that can include a QB. So, my main QB is LAMAR! and my flex is Burrow. My TE is Andrews. I’m jizzing everywhere tonight.

Mr. Ayo

Well deserved

Game Time Decision

Lamar has done well for you in the freezer vodka league

Redshirt

Interesting strategy by the Ravens not covering JaMarr Chase.

Doktor Zymm

This is a Thursday game??

fleshwound_NPG

well, third straight deep ball is the charm, i guess

Redshirt

FIRE ZAC TAYLOR!!!!!

litre_cola

What the fuck were those playcalls????

Mr. Ayo

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Redshirt

The Zac Taylor Experience.

Sharkbait

Of all the 4th and short calls, that was certainly one of them

litre_cola

I think Tucker is past his prime.

WCS

comment image

Luckily for you, he’s in a different country.

For now.

litre_cola

That fuckhead was hosted by the premier here in Texas North

WCS

When did you move to Oklahoma?

fleshwound_NPG

ah, NOW it is a thursday night game!

WCS

Bungles. Forever and ever.

Sharkbait

Well this game is interesting now

Mr. Ayo

Well done, Bungles.

Don T

2024: fireworks after end of 3rd QRT

2027: halftime lotto

2030: 2-minute warning beheadings

ArmedandHammered

Is the halftime lotto for a possible position as a place kicker?

Mr. Ayo

2024: Free show!

2027: 200 entries for $100!

2030: 5 free entries with each ticket!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Made myself one of these Floor is Guava cocktails and am pretty satisfied. Am thinking about mixing in some thai pepper to make a Floor is Hot Guava variation.

Gumbygirl

I could have sworn Lamar stepped put of bounds on like the 23. Guess not.

fleshwound_NPG

could have sworn he stepped out at the 23

and the 19

and the 11

and the…

fleshwound_NPG

the CHANGE was SUDDEN

WCS

Do 42-year-old men get random hot flashes? That was weird.

Mr. Ayo

Not that I’m aware of.

Doktor Zymm

Maybe Lowratio is hiding in the ceiling with a blow dryer

WCS

I thought maintenance got him out of there.

Let me tell the shift lieutenant.

ArmedandHammered

That was fantastic!

Gumbygirl

It would have been even better if he had thrown it to Gesicki

fleshwound_NPG

bungles cannot get away with this bullshit EVERY year

(start out like utter dogshit, become football gods by thanksgiving and into the playoffs)

Redshirt

YOU SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH PLEASE

fleshwound_NPG

copying the rivers-era san diego chargers playbook is never a good idea

(unless burrow wants a dozen or so kids)

herodotus450

LMAO what universe are you from?

WCS

One where Mike Brown and The Ol’ Double J swapped bodies. Same brains, different corporeal form.

Unsurprised

I just had the funniest thought.

“Wow. You built up an incredible panopticon surveillance and censorship machine combined with functional Internet regulators willing to take on FAANGS directly. It’d be a shame if they fell into the hands of Elon Fucking Musk.”

ArmedandHammered

Yeah. Funny. This kids is why Daddy stays stoned. That and you cry.

ArmedandHammered

They put that subtitle about the certified platinum artist like it was some sort of ass covering move, we swear he actually is someone even though no one seems to know who he is.

Unsurprised

Certified-Platinum” was just greedy.

fleshwound_NPG

this is how an ai will very soon win a grammy!

ArmedandHammered

Who says they haven’t already?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My ex-girlfriend’s kid sister has a certified platinum record, and I absolutely guarantee you’ve never heard of her. Which is a bummer, cause she’s really cool.

Unsurprised

Just imagine if those two were on the same team.

Don T

So matte helmets with shiny facemasks is a home team TNF thing. Endorse, let’s start the Color Rush erasure.

ArmedandHammered

I was thinking that it might help those with color blindness, easy to see the difference under the bright lights. I doubt the NFL thought of that, just that it might be an unexpected result.

Mr. Ayo

Mike Brown paid for ShieldAssist™?

Chase and Tee are going to be pissed!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Must have had a coupon.

Don T

Evening. My compadre died in 2021 and he just sent me a friend request on FB. Where were you on Tiesday’s elections, huh? /request deleted

Unsurprised

It could be scammers. it could be a “legit” shadow account. Facebook is a pit of Hell.

Sharkbait

I need to fully get off of it. I still have family on there which is why I still have an account.

Don T

But great for recipe vids. After you delete all the dishes with waaay too many eggs.

Redshirt

Thanks again BLEERGH!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Based on the name I absolutely must try this:

https://www.peanutbutterandfitness.com/the-floor-is-guava-cocktail/

Doktor Zymm

heh

litre_cola

I will once again stress we do not need to see zany antics by the halftime crew.

Redshirt

Joe Burrow is like Rocky Balboa, he’s likable, scrappy and he’s getting hit constantly.

Don T

Same literacy level as LSU alums—IT WAS RIGHT THERE K?

Redshirt

Oh, shit! Lamar is going to the Locker Room to take a shit!

Redshirt

False alarm. He just went down the step to fart.

ThurberHerder

There still are decent people in this country

Gumbygirl

And we’re all here watching football together. I don’t need anybody else!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Damn usually when a Harris takes a beating like that Ricky Roma is about to win a Cadillac

Redshirt

Where did they get these footballs from? Duffy?

Redshirt

Diddy, stupid autocorrect.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s all right, it actually sent me on a rather pleasant stroll down memory lane.

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Unsurprised

It was all a dream …

Redshirt

TE Sneak? TE Sneak!

fleshwound_NPG

you know who else wore brown shirts…

ArmedandHammered

I’s be more worried about those wearing brown pants.

fleshwound_NPG

“nah, that’s a good idea!”

-lamar

ArmedandHammered

Evening all. I feel so down I’m beginning to like Morrisey.

litre_cola

Go towards Jonny Marr not Morrissey.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ironically, Morrissey is full of delight to see that his anti-immigrant rhetoric managed to take hold *somewhere*. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SpjdbiGIEYE

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

(how serendipitously topical!)

(with regards to tonight’s game, I mean)

Last edited 13 days ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Sharkbait

“Hell yeah!”

E. Clapton

Gatoraids

The Cure is Robert Smith
“morrissey is so depressing, if he doesn’t off himself soon, I will””

Doktor Zymm

Highground? Nah

IMG-20241107-WA0002.jpg
Unsurprised

More cop on cop violence? Don’t threaten me with a good time.

Sharkbait

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Doktor Zymm

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Mr. Ayo

Risky swim!

ArmedandHammered

Not for the crocodiles.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

RIP Ryan Mallett

Redshirt

I turned the TV back on when they were showing the Burrow breaking wrist last year and thought it was live. Had a mini heart attack and bowel movement.

WCS

Just a regular Bungles game then.

fleshwound_NPG

standard operation procedure after eating skyline chili

litre_cola

Skyline Chili is fucking delicioUs.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We had Costco chili tonight and it was regular delicious.

litre_cola

So did Mrs. Cola

litre_cola

Can’t wait for the shit kicking I will receive from Sir Spam this week.

Horatio Cornblower

I do have the Vikings D going this week, (I’ll take “Things Lagetha Said” for $600, Alex), but BC Dick swooped in the grabbed Tyrone Tracy off waivers in front of me, so I am very interested in what Justin Hill can manage to do tonight.

Not interested enough to watch the game, of course. That’s just silly.

litre_cola

BC Dick is active in FF? Things I thought that I would never hear.

Horatio Cornblower

Team name is Dick’s Sweet Candy Asses and I just assumed it was him.

litre_cola

It sure is

Redshirt

Thanks BLEERGH!

Gumbygirl

I’m thinking I should mebbe sit Brian Thomas Jr this week if Prison Girlfriend is back in the slammer, dropping the soap. I picked up some rando WR just in case, can’t even think of his name!

Gumbygirl

Quentin Johnston. Apparently, he plays for the Chargers. Who knew?

Redshirt

Burton is alive, er, I meant active?

Doktor Zymm

I wonder what would happen if I went on Henry’s diet? The world will never know.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

A few Halloweens ago Eli Manning tried to go on an Oh Henry! diet but his killjoy mom put a stop to it right quick.

Horatio Cornblower

Derrick Henry’s diet? No one would cut in line in front of you at airports, that’s for sure.

Redshirt

Okay, let’s either get to .500 or mercy kill this season.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

How many ravens does it take to make the equivalent of a tiger? 2,000 or so, maybe?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Silly me, I saw the banner picture and thought the NFL had decided to lighten the mood around here by showing a Bears game.

Redshirt

Nah. The Illuminati told them Trump would win so the NFL scheduled the Bengals in prime time for comedy.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ve always viewed the Bengals as more tragicomic than anything else. Too much pathos to get true amusement from watching them.

Redshirt

Like the early seasons of MASH, while tragic at times was mostly for outrageous, non-realistic laughs.

Unsurprised

“Space guillotines”

It’s good to have the Revolutions podcast back

ballsofsteelandfury

Usually it’s good when ham comes off the bone easily…

Unsurprised

Like this

litre_cola

Is the Ham Ful?

Game Time Decision

Smoked is good too