Your Week 15 Sunday NFL Football Open Thread

Welp, these will be brief because today is a regular work day. Don’t shed a tear, it’s for the greater good. (The Greater Good) I’ll be free and clear for FOUR complete days, which almost never happens. Every team is playing but somehow there’s only one game that grabs me by the crotch. Nice going, Shield.

To The Games!

Falcons/Giants:

Oh no, ATL is on the road, how will they ever win? Penix gets the start and he’ll be airing it out because he has a much bigger arm than Cousins. London and Mooney should be able to get behind the Giants cb’s just like everyone else has.

Lions/Bears:

Chicago would appear to be cannon fodder as Detroit looks to get right after last week’s loss.

Browns/Bengals:

Burrow is going to be a lovely trivia question a few years from now. It’ll go along the lines of, “Which player threw X amount of yards and Y amount of TD’s and didn’t win MVP?”

Titans/Colts:

Are you up for a punting exhibition?

Rams/Jets:

LA’s offense seems to have found another gear and I hope the Jets get humiliated. Their once respectable defense has given up the ghost and following their leader, most guys are looking to blame someone else for problems of their own making.

Eagles/Commies:

Saquon’s assault on the MVP trophy seems to have run out of gas. Much like always, I suspect he’s breaking down because that’s what he does when gets a fair amount of usage. No worries though, everyone else has got it in a higher gear-that offense is fearful when fully engaged.

Cards/Panthers:

Who dropped this dirty bomb in our laps? Carolina has been keeping it close these days (last week is the exception) so I expect this to be a trap game for an Arizona team that is looking for an excuse to falter down the stretch.

Have fun folks.

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Unsurprised

Wow. Go fucking Lions!

Eating the Bears like early Christians

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Shan’Khlor in ascendancy in this Rams-Jets game. Two extra points attempted, two extra points missed.

Doktor Zymm

Where was this Saquon last week?? At least my consolation bracket games are going well, lol

litre_cola

I just said that to the missus.

litre_cola

Maybe feed Saquon

Doktor Zymm

Whoa, totally forgot Jamison Crowder was still around

Gatoraids

my wife said the same thing, not helping my McLaurin start tho

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I like how JJ Watt’s revelation about how “life isn’t about knocking people down, it’s about lifting them up” ends with him teaching children how to do a better job of knocking each other down.

litre_cola

I still love the Payton Manning SNL skit. “I throw, you catch. It’s not that hard.”

Gatoraids

Pickett living up to his name

litre_cola

DAMMIT!!!!!!

Fronkenshteen

Hurts is desperately trying to get back in there, so he must be showing obvious signs of distress for them to be holding him out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcBHh9C8pG8

Gatoraids

suffering uncontrollable urge to throw dump offs 3 yds behind the scrimmage to AJ Brown

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We also would have accepted that clip in reference to Joe Burrow (due to both his offensive line getting him murdered repeatedly as well as the fact that he owns a Batmobile).

Spur

You don’t need a functioning frontal lobe to run the Eagles offense. Get Hurts back out there.

Spur

Hurts Hurt.

litre_cola

Its fine, its fine, we have Kenny Pickett…

BugEyedBoo

Ugh.

Doktor Zymm

“Looks like a mild back spasm”
-Dolphins medical staff

Spur

Stripper Pole Celebration for the Lions. Nioce!

Doktor Zymm

I think we could take 11 random commentists here and beat the Bears, which is impressive since we’re all imaginary

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

When you said “smoke and mirrors” I thought you were talking about what Jim Irsay’s living room is filled with at 3 a.m.

litre_cola

Cowboys in the 90s.

litre_cola

Go Birds.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Jets warming up the crowd by dropping a potential pick-six.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
ballsofsteelandfury

Holy shit, I never considered The Browns beating the Bengals today…

litre_cola

Either did Gamblor.

Redshirt

“Not if we have anything about it!” – Browns

SonOfSpam

Neither did the Browns apparently

Spur

Go Brownies! Smack that cat around!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Cecil Rhodes

Good Christ — you just can’t rely on Spurs to do anything right! Send that fraudulent Spurs manager back to the penal colony where he belongs!

In other news, it appears that Atlanta has finally decided to whip out its Penix. Will he arouse the fans in attendance with his performance, or will he shrink under the pressure? There’s only one way to find out!

litre_cola

Dear Redshirt, Mrs Cola gave Deci a Bengals jersey for today. She believes.

Redshirt

Alright, let’s do this.

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Redshirt

…or that.

Doktor Zymm

I still think it’ll all go well until KC decides to let the Broncos win at the very end, it’s both the most heartbreaking and totally something KC would do

Spur

My picks today

Lions -6.5
Colts -3.5
Rams -3

litre_cola

I can get down with all of those.

I took your Boys straight up tonight.

Spur

i really wanted to take the moneyline on the Dallas game

Doktor Zymm

If they win that game, they go from under a 1% chance to make the playoffs to under a 1% chance!

Gatoraids

Korean Corn Dogs with cheese coming out just in time for game with some fried potato au gratin cheddar ish side. Good air fryer discipline paying off

Mr. Ayo

Vegas flight home timed perfectly to give me 20 minutes of glorioUs RedZone musak to relax.

There will be napping.

Doktor Zymm

Football naps are the best

Redshirt

Winston is Emergency 3rd QB. Is he hurt or just that bad?

Gatoraids

yes

Doktor Zymm

People debate about the different temp scales, but Fahrenheit is clearly best as 69F actually is NICE

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Celsius is great for science-y stuff (and fine for cooking) but Fahrenheit makes much more sense in terms of outdoor temperature. 100° is really hot. 0° is really cold.

Last edited 1 hour ago by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
ballsofsteelandfury

I LOVE the watermelon flavour

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Gatoraids

slowly getting better at it cuz one of my favorite cooking channels is from a British restaurant and its all Celsius scales and what not

Doktor Zymm

They were both designed to be good at different things. Fahrenheit is the earliest temperature scale that was scientifically designed and it was supposed to be 100 = body temperature and 0 = freezing temp of supersaturated salt water (so if it’s below 0F then the roads might still be icy even if they’ve been salted) but early thermometers were not super accurate so the end points are a bit off. But it was designed around human temps.
Celsius came later and was designed around the freezing and boiling points of water at 1 atm for use in chemistry. It’s also slightly inaccurate, although less so, with the triple point of water being 0.01C

Sharkbait

It’s not releasing the Kraken, but Boris and I are eagerly awaiting the destruction of the Vichy Whalers.

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King Hippo

Wolven Sort hero is kicking for DonT’s Tots today! He’ll make y’all maginificent again, promise!!

Redshirt

..

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King Hippo

New billion dollar idea, y’all. Bro country artist, who is an open and outspoken Satanist. We NEED to make this happen.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Country music fans in Utah already assume as much about Shaboozey.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hey, somebody else do a google search for Shaboozey and tell me what happens.

Gatoraids

title and cover of Beelzebubba comes close

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

No, seriously – the google search page goes into like drunk-o-vision and wobbles a bit before it settles into place.

Gatoraids

Maybe recover Devil Comes down to Georgia where he wins and Johnny has to root for Penn State

Spur

Boise are -10 underdogs to Penn State. Am betting heavy on Boise.

King Hippo

I like those odds, too. Then again, I would have lost my ass on the preliminary round. Only favoUrite I liked was Texas, and Clem almost backdoored a cover.

litre_cola

I put 20 bucks on all chalk and it paid.

Redshirt

Extended family arriving. Quiet weekend over.

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Spur

Morning Folks.

Doktor Zymm

Horseback canceled because rain again, probably for the best as I really need to take my car in for a service. Still running fine but sounds like the timing belt is loose and don’t want to gamble with that

2Pack

I’ve had two timing belts break on me on the road over the years. You should get them replaced every 80k miles. I just had mine replaced this past summer. A two day job if it’s planned (they have all parts on hand).
Good luck.

BugEyedBoo

2Pack probably knows this; some engines’ valves are interfering valves, where valves can collide with pistons when the valve is extended all the way and piston is Top Dead Center. This doesn’t happen until/unless the timing belt breaks. And that is Bad. So spend the $$$ and get that taken care of.

2Pack

Yes.

Doktor Zymm

They’re open Monday, and not sure about Tuesday, but I’ll be in Chicago from xmas until NYE so I can just leave it and pick it up in 2025 if need be. It’s at 120k and haven’t done the full 100k service yet so due to go in even without noises. It’s a good little car

2Pack

Yeah it’s due. If you can leave it over the holiday vaca you’ll have peace of mind going into the new year.

BugEyedBoo

Good story that my daughter told me yesterday, regarding her oil change.

Her friend took her car in for an oil change. Her 15-minute oil change turns into an hour oil change, and finally the manager shows up and says, “We accidently gave your car to another customer, but we’re calling them and they’ll be bringing your car back in a little bit.” Uh, what? Rather than calling the cops right then and there, she plays along and waits.

No car was forthcoming, and after another hour the manager shows up and says, “Sorry, but we lied to you. Nobody took your car, we’ve lost your car key. We’ll give you a loaner and either find your key or have a new one made for you.”

King Hippo

I love that they thought “sorry, we gave your car to some crackhead” was a valid excuse/cover story.

BugEyedBoo

I know! Me/my daughter/anyone else would have called the cops right then and there. “Guess you can explaining to Officer Friendly here where my car went.”

2Pack

Yep. Whip that phone out and start recording conversations.

2Pack

Last trip to that garage.
When you find a good one, keep it close. There are a lot of bad ones around.

Gatoraids
Doktor Zymm

I mean, why not go with the truth in the first place here? Lol

BugEyedBoo

Another I know! “Uh, we lost your keys,” is pretty reasonable.

Redshirt
King Hippo

SEGA was better for sportsball, Nintendo for general gamery. That’s my hazy, 30-years back memory, at least.

yeah right

Madden on Sega was the balls.

Redshirt

Saddest day of my life was when my sister got to pick the next console, and she picked Sega Genesis. I missed out on Super Mario Word, A Link to the Past, Donkey Kong Country and Star Fox.

Spur

at least it wasn’t an Atari Jaguar

BugEyedBoo

Atari 800 all the way!

Gatoraids

or TurboGrafx 16

King Hippo

hockey too!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Hockey, too. Even better, IMO.

Spur

Plus I remember the Disney, action games and MK1 were better on Sega. SNES was better in RPGs, adventure and took off with MK2 and Super Street Fighter 2

Doktor Zymm

I didn’t have either because I was a kid. We did have quite a few PC games though, and those were fantastic

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Eh?

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BugEyedBoo

Wing Commander!

Gatoraids

We had both mostly Nintendo family but got genesis for Altered Beast and Golden Axe at launch but after that nothing really caught our attention. Blast processing only takes a system so far, Sonic and stuff with as ADHD cousins.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s fantastic, I loved it.

King Hippo

Baking cinammon rolls, because apparently I’m not fat enough of a fat fuck already.

Don T

I went brownie moUrnings between Weeks 7-10 #CanRelate

King Hippo

should keep me full/bloated throughout RedZone time, at least

yeah right

Think I’ll do Irish breakfast tea and biscuits.

Sounds lovely.

King Hippo

would you take a gander at them thar Cherries!

yeah right

We wore our ass kicking shoes today.

Horatio Cornblower

ManUre is done.
comment image&ct=g

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

One of the best things about Saturday NFL is when you wake up the following morning thinking that it’s Monday but it’s not, IT’S SUNDAY MORNING!

Redshirt

I have one more day of work then I’m off until January 2. I haven’t had a week off in an year!

yeah right

I’m off Monday!

Only to work a full shift on Christmas Eve.

It’s OK because I work a full shift on New Year’s Eve and January 2nd too.

ArmedandHammered

You must be low man on totem pole.

yeah right

On the contrary. I’m the motherfucking boss. But I’m benevolent and my employees have families so they stay home and I put my feet up and read while getting paid for it.

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, working the days when no one is there is the best. I’m taking no PTO over the holidays and it’s going to be great

yeah right

Yep. My holiday will be in Europe. About October or so.

AND Toronto in April!

Doktor Zymm

I’m taking 2 weeks in Feb, plus working from Singapore for a week

ArmedandHammered

Sorry, thought it was WCS I was replying too, I am sober so cannot think well, plus need more caffeine.

yeah right

No worries. Fix that sobriety thing though.

King Hippo

Hippo is trying to ride caffeine rush until 12:30, reasons unknown. But…There Will Be Pills

ArmedandHammered

I took this coming week off but still have a bit of the Sunday’s. I wonder how long it will take to get over them once I retire.

Horatio Cornblower

If you’re anything like my father, about 4 minutes.

ArmedandHammered

No, I have a feeling it will be hard, even on weekends I feel I should be working. When you have worked a job or multiple jobs at the same time for 45 years, it gets ingrained. Shit even before getting paying wages, I “helped out” by pumping gas at my uncles’ service station when I was 10 for about 10 hours a weekend. Plus working 2 acres of garden and 3 acres to mow at the house. I am fucking sick of working. — Rant off, hungry and sober.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That’s more like the Dr. Mrs. I’m content to do nothing all day but read a book and take naps (in the winter especially) but she just isn’t wired that way.

ArmedandHammered

It’s what a want to do but I feel like the boss/parent is watching me. Plus it did not help dad whipping my ass if he thought I was being lazy.

Redshirt

My Dad was a complete workaholic. He said it took about two days. The first Monday is confusing and sad, but after that you’ll be lost in TV and reading.

If he didn’t have ALS, he and my mother talked about buying an RV and driving in their Retirement Years. I’d imagine in another life, if he didn’t win the ALS Gene Mutation Lottery, they’d be gone by Wednesday, only to show up every two months.

King Hippo

You’re being a damned good son, and I bet your mom appreciates it more than you’ll ever know.

Doktor Zymm

I think it’s typically a year, although this is not a problem that people in my family have.

Don T

🎶Aah sweet mystery of life, at last I’ve found youuu🎶
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Don T

Pre-tariff 🎉🎄

Redshirt

🎶Ah, I know at last the secret of it all🎶

Rebel Ice Cream Nutrition and Net Carbs: Is It Keto-Friendly? – KetoASAP

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Redshirt

So, Kansas City won yesterday, increases the chances of them resting Week 18 against Denver, who Cincinnati needs to lose AND Pittsburgh lost yesterday decreasing the chances of them resting Week 18 against Cincinnati, who obviously needs to win. I know, Cincinnati making the Playoff is already facing long odds, but this is making it worse.

Mayble I’m ordering the wrong way? Its confusing the waiter and the chef.

Alright, I’ll take Cincinnati over Cleveland, San Francisco over Miami and Tennessee over Indianapolis. Got it?

Chef Kronk | The Emperor’s New Groove – YouTube

litre_cola

Someone stayed out too late last night.

It’s meeeeee.

Doktor Zymm

Well done!

blaxabbath

The most fitting end to this final month of the regular season will see Joe Burrow’s knee get shredded, leading him to sit for the first fourteen weeks of the 2025 season.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The +1 from me is due to this comment’s accuracy, not because I want it to happen.

Redshirt

Late Afternoon Open Thread (Foreboding Artistic Interpretation)

Angel – Angel visits Wesley in the hospital (S3Ep17)

Redshirt

I gave you both a + and a -. Plus for the accuracy, Minus for both the pant-shittening thought and that Bengalization demands that he finish the season healthy, shattering records both franchise and league, and still finish 8-9 so he’ll go into the offseason knowing that even doing his best is not enough for this team to win.

Fronkenshteen

Had a “drink dream” last night. Pretty common for people in recovery. They’re dreams which are very vivid and slice-of-life. Most times they’re so familiar you wake up thinking they’re memories of the night before. In the dreams, you’re using again, and are aware you’ve blown your recovery. (This time, I was doing shots of whiskey in front of my father) Then you wake up furious and with real regret, in a panic thinking you’ve got phone calls of apology to make, hating yourself. It actually takes a minute to get your head calibrated with reality again, and the relief you feel is definitely tempered with exasperation.

Of all the stories I heard in rehab, crack addicts have it the worst, I think. They would describe dreams in which they scored, got to the “get-down house”, loaded the pipe, cracked the torch, and put the pipe to their lips. But when the flame would approach the pipe, it would crumble away like it was made of sand and they couldn’t get the hit, and they’d wake up in a full body sweat. That always made me think of Oil Can Boyd for some reason.

blaxabbath

Maybe smoking some herb?

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2Pack

I haven’t had one of those for years, I guess like everything else they fade with time. I used to wake up happy it was just a dream.
Be well Buddy.

Fronkenshteen

You too, brother.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I had a dream I was listening to a country song from the perspective of an uncle testifying on behalf of his niece at a family court/custody/emancipation hearing about how her father – his brother/brother-in-law – is a piece of shit who never gave her the support a daughter should receive. In my dream I quite liked the song.

Horatio Cornblower

At least you weren’t naked in math class looking at a final exam you hadn’t studied for.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Goddamnit Horatio, I keep on telling you, that wasn’t a dream.” – the university registar, once again explaining why you are listed as persona non grata with campus security

Redshirt

I sometimes get the “I have a Final Exam in two hours at OSU but I’m home at Cincinnati” dream. It got to the point where I start to recognize it was a dream and it turned into a lucid dream. That was fun until my subconscious saw I was having fun with the nightmare and removed it from the dream shuffle.

Doktor Zymm

That sounds sort of lik the dreams I have when I need to pee. Every toilet I find just becomes unusable until I wake up and go find relief

Redshirt

.

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King Hippo

and of course, his chosen number.

Horatio Cornblower

I refuse to believe this isn’t AI.

You could bring Titsworth to my house, in uniform, with a notarized affidavit saying this is real, and I would still refuse to believe this isn’t AI.

Redshirt

Either this is real or the Machines did their homework on this one.

Parker Titsworth – 2024 – Football – Ohio University

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Unsurprised

Fuck. This is what I get for going to bed before midnight

2Pack

Hi everyone.
Today I did my, by now annual it seems, cracking of the wristwatch crystal. Would like to say it was doing something sporty but the truth is I was simply closing a door behind me. So the year is now complete, busted car (Karen with too much SUV runs a yield sign and dents the right rear door), busted glasses and now the busted watch.

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Redshirt

Also, if I’m going 75 in the high-speed lane with the Speed Limit of 65, and the car behind me going 90 passes without giving me a chance to yield as they weave in and out of rush our traffic like its Mario Kart, you’re the asshole and I hope to pass you on the corner getting thoroughly cavity searched by the Highway Patrol.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You are much less violent and twisted-metal-and-broken-glass-and-thick-black-gasoline-smokey than I am in your fantasy outcome for those people.

Redshirt

There is a logic to my insanity:

I crash into them, I buy them a new car.
They crash into someone, someone innocent goes to the hospital.
They get pulled over, they get a nice lesson and a free amateur colonoscopy/prostate exam.

Doktor Zymm

There are also the options of single car crash, crash into another car doing the same thing, and my favorite, crash that flattens a KKK meeting

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[nods in sympathy] – Buster Hyman

Redshirt

[tries to nod in sympathy, but can’t, God bless her little heart] – Ariel Young

2Pack

Dress in layers.

Don T

/drops phone
//puts bed covers over head

ArmedandHammered

/// gets inside mattress.

King Hippo

is it at least a DRY ball-shriveling cold?

Horatio Cornblower

I don’t see the problem.

As long as you’re not expected to stay outside.

Horatio Cornblower

Scotchy, going outside, artist’s depiction:

https://twitter.com/AMAZlNGNATURE/status/1870257542292455467

Doktor Zymm

Those ducks know what’s up

Redshirt

Wear a hat.

Doktor Zymm

And gloves. Mittens even