Please say a prayer for Tucker Kraft. Did you hear the news? I need exactly 5 points from him in Freezer League in order to beat Game Time Decision because I got too cute with my QB choice. I will never learn.
Fallout:
-Ja’Marr Chase just gets better every year. He’s only one TD from matching Carl Pickens’ (I liked that guy) 17 scores and just 5 grabs from tying T.J. Housh-etc’s 112 catch mark.
-The solution for the Falcons recent woes? INSERT PENIX HERE. Despite Cousins’ league-leading 16 INT’s and 12 fumbles Atlanta was still in the hunt. Talent-wise they’re good enough to be game-managed into the first round of the playoffs but not beyond that. Is GM Fontenot a rearview smartypants or did he backup into a good decision?
-Another kid that I like (not in a Gaetz way) Tank Dell is having a rough go of it. Word is that he dislocated his knee and tore his ACL-this after breaking his leg last year. His game is predicated on exploding out of his breaks (he’s listed at a very slight 165 pounds so he’s never going to outmuscle anyone) so I fear that this injury may rob him of that ability.
-Are the Bears waterfalling on good decisions? Fans of the team are of course replying in the negative but bear with me. Drafting Caleb still seems to me to be smart. Now word has it that Chicago will be the first suitor in line for Lions OC Ben Johnson (the guy that has taken Goff to another level) when he comes on the coaches market-he’s the perfect dude to mentor the young fella. If successful they’ll be stealing talent from an in-division rival. If all this comes good the division will be more top-heavy than Marika.
-Jerry Jones is sunk-costing like a boss. The Boys won a squeaker yesterday so JJ is crowing that Coach McCarthy kept the team motivated. I wish I could invent my own reality like that.
To The Game!
Saints/Packers:
-Is Josh Jacobs the NFL’s most overlooked rb? He was jettisoned by the Raiders after giving them four 1000 yard seasons and never anything below 805. He catches anywhere between 20 and 54 balls a year. What more could a team want? I guess because all rb’s are interchangeable, Mattison was going to deliver the same production. Oh my.
-And you thought you’d seen the last of Spencer Rattler in any prime time game. smh…
-Not starring for the Saints this evening? Take your pick-Emo Carr is unavailable (headed to a Cult concert?) as is Olave, Bub Means, Kamara and MVS. Ok, I threw Bub in there for giggles.
-Green Bay is a very quiet (outside Wisconsin) 10-4 what with the Lions and Vikings and their gaudy records. Beware the Pack though-they’ve won 8 of their last 10, one of those losses was by a field goal to Detroit.
Have at it.
Rattler compared to Favre, immediately throws pick.
Yup, checks out!
Next up dick pics and welfare fraud.
Thought the exact same thing Dok
How many receivers have broken fingers?
Its over folks the Sabres have snap their 13 game losing streak.
Who was Shiba in Lowratio?
I think you’re gonna win.
I think it’s BeefReefer. I’m not 100% tho. And I’m going to win, my good man!
So you goin up?
Movin on up!
It’s me. I ain’t saying shit until it’s over.
You know you want to!
Just got the double tap.
In line for Pony Express and got the banjo version.
I’m already dead!
QUIZ
The guy in this picture’s name is:
A) Heinz Guderian
B) Jimmy Page
You have thirty minutes to formulate an answer. Document all your work.
I maintain a bed will be shat in. Might be a saints fan in the budget inn after stumbling back in the snow, but ohh yes …linens will be soiled. Porcelain felonies will be committed.
Hail Gamblor, I was right.
@scotchy you’re totes going to win.
By the skin of my teeth.
A win is a win, whether by 1000 points or by 0.1
8 out of 10 dentists say brushing is good
Isn’t plaque the skin on teeth? Does that mean that poor dental hygiene is helpful in competition?
Why am I looking at RFJ Jr?
Fuck grocery store muzak.
All I needed was a quick six pack, and now I’m out of the LDB.
have no idea how i got through the grocery store and target today without running into it. Grandma called me tonight and said she gave up on doing green beans and wants me to do them tomorrow so once more into the breach.
That’s why you go to the liquor store.
Ain’t no music playing there.
Utah. Only a select few liquor stores are allowed to have a fridge.
That’s unfortunate.
Call for an air drop next time.
tuning into the Little Drummer Boy over Boomerest 3 Minutes in sports
I honest forgot there was a game tonight.
(turns on TV)
So did the Saints, apparently.
Van Pelt looks like hes a hat away from being ready to melt some Loony Tunes
Yup
Fuck Darren Rizzi, Fuck Kendry Miller, and fuck the Saints in general.
with a coach voice like that New Orleans may as well grab Coach O
I need to bank some sleep after a few restless nights and ahead of flying to my family tomorrow so…half a melatonin down the hatch. Let’s see how long I last here.
“Um…I don’t know what you think melatonin does, but…” – Lady BFC
Happy Festivus, everyone!
Unleash the dragon/your grievances
Some desert jagoff is shooting fireworks off on Christmas Eve Eve.
ALS sucks.
Lou Gehrig did not die for thi…
No, no, he did, I take that back.
I have no problem with any of you. Let’s get to the feats of strength.
Is caber tossing one?
The most I can do at the moment is create some powerful odors.
Through strength of feet?
Did you miss the part where I’ve been eating fish soup and fermented cabbage all week?
I’d like to try the caber toss sometime, but I am fairly certain that the phrase “passersby were surprised at the unusual amount of blood” would no longer be being used as a joke.
As that fucker falls right back on yer heed
Back atcha.
Whew. I should have just taken the week off.
/coughs fakely
Sounds like Covid through my keyboard.
Oh, no. Will I live, doctor?
Only if you take the week off.
Here’s a note.
Bless you, doctor.
Matt Gaetz’s “tuition reimbursement”
Congress implementing a Transfer of Bodily Fluid Portal
“That’s why I’m broke”
We prefer “friendly”
.
VIOLENT J: …about magnets?
SHAGGY 2 DOPE: About everything!
I like to imagine that Vince Gilligan wanted to incorporate a giant magnet into the show somehow and everything that happened subsequently was written specifically to accomodate that.
to stay in top season form Derek Carr going to drop an anvil on a receivers head
And just like that, Scotchy makes the Freezer League Final!
Up by 3.1 points-I respectfully request that Lafleur shut Kraft down for the evening.
“…and that’s Kraft’s THIRD interception on a trick play this half! What is Lafleur thinking???”
“And now he’s taken a knee! In his own end zone!!”
NFC North tune ~one of these teams it not like the other…~
Years ago wed did a survey, and there were more Bears fans here than any other team. We also got told we engage in circle jerks regularly and could go fuck ourselves.
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTRBSV-O8xLfXRiA_86U5YZ0u6l1kYtAXgv8A&s
I would be pro another survey come the new year
Do you need to be told to go fuck yourself by someone who put in the survey 50+ times?
Define “need”
Wow, talk about too much time on someone’s hands!
If I were a Bears fan, you couldn’t waterboard that out of me.
They were talking about how Jordan Love “refuses to be sacked” and my reaction was LOLBEARS
Here is how you can make me watch pro hoops:
Each basket is guarded by a WW2 style pillbox, there are land mines planted in the floor, each team is armed with AK-47s. Make that shit happen and I’ll buy season tickets.
I have similar feelings about yachting. Either give each boat grappling hooks and allow boarding parties, or get that rich boy shit off my TV.
Or they sail around the southern tip of south America during storm season.
I’d watch the WNBA if they didn’t have so many chicks playing.
And their balls keep falling out of their shorts.
I’ve had this one for a long time, waiting for the moment
My New Year’s resolution: I will no longer give advice or input to any of my family members. Every time I want to, I will do a shot of gin. Fuck ’em, they can learn by their own mistakes.
Right on, this is solid
Make it a shot of Malort, so you learn the lesson early.
I think I would take Malort over warm discount gin
I haven’t had the pleasure of Malort, so I’m only going by reputation.
Your point about warm gin, however, is not unfair.
Malort is sold in the liquor store 10 miles up the road. I’m gonna go get me a bottle.
Tastes great. Then wait 3 seconds and the Aftertaste is definitely something different.
Yes! Move towards the light!
I have grown to like Malort.
Much like a woman in an arranged marriage a couple centuries ago grew to like her much older and less attractive husband!
We are almost out. Postal strike over I can mail you the Manitoba vodka shortly.
I want the Malort. You know you’re alive when you taste liquid death.
Are you fucking kidding me? There’s actually a guy named Kool-Aid in the NFL?
OH YEAH
Went to Bama
You’re just now learning this?
I don’t watch the NFC unless it’s Cowboys disasters
Kraft with the cheese squeeze…
Just end me now.
I thought that’s an orchid special for VIPs
How to pick a fight at Christmas with your Italian wife:
“These biscotti are good, but my grandmother and mother made them better.”
Mrs. Fozz is going to kill you- that’s a given. The thing we should be wagering on, is how/ where is she going to do it? I have five (5) American dollars that sez it’s going to be in the kitchen, with a cleaver.
Or she can outsource to Canada…
5 USD will go a long way here.
Biscotti lodged in the brain
need to arrange a Tim Curry Cameo or something for this
One of our first real bad arguments when we got married was the proper way to cook meatballs. YOU FUCKING FRY THEM NOBODY IN MY FAMILY EVER BAKED A MEATBALL.
Well it went on from there. And it got bad.
“Well, you’re only half Italian so you don’t know better. Since your mother is Irish.”
She didn’t talk to me for days.
Over meatballs.
Just for the record: you fry them.
Spaghetti & Meatballs:
https://www.facebook.com/reel/613038567743235/?mibextid=rS40aB7S9Ucbxw6v
Scenes from an Italian Court Order
Frying pan in kitchen, head flattened paper thin
Today Mrs. Horatio and I went Xmas shopping and we had a nice lunch afterwards and she’s talking about how much she hates menopause and says “but at least I don’t have mood swings” and before I knew it I said “the fuck are you talking about; you absolutely do” and that’s right up there with the biscottis.
I’ve learned this mantra that helps in times like these:
“Yes, baby, you’re right”
“Yes, baby, you’re right”
“Yes, baby, you’re right”
TONIGHT’S SPECIAL EPISODE
Horatio Attempts Suicide
Also “biscotti” is already pluralized
Fuck off, I’m Irish.
/bakes meatballs
That is not what I expected Spencer Rattler to look like. I had more of a Minshew vibe to that name.
You think his face is surprising, wait til you see his urethra.
(off in the distance BugEyedBoo issues a soft plaintive wail)
Having lunch before Christmas Eve mass tomorrow. I’ll be power drinking for two straight hours.
Can’t eat an hour before Communion heathen. That’s Jesus-eatin time!
Yet another dumbfuck rule of the Catholic church.
They don’t want the altar boys lookin all fat and gross
But if they eat too much, and get all strong, they’ll be able to kick the priests’ asses
Accurate of the kids I knew who were molested
You don’t eat for an hour before communion so you don’t cramp up.
Drinking isn’t eating
Did you just issue a Papal decree? Howsabout one where the church sells some of it’s art collection and, you know, helps the poor or something?
This current pope is actually pretty amazing, he actually helps people and is inclusive and in favor of peace. I rejected religion early enough that I don’t think I even qualify as a lapsed catholic, but I would not be ashamed to be associated with this dude!
I’m definitely lapsed. He’s very good by pope standards, but anybody would look good after an actual Nazi!
It’s Christmas mass- it will be at least an hour before they get to Communion.
It’ll take two hours to find a parking space.
Two oldest Fozz Spawn gave me this for Christmas. They’re going to be able to sleep in the house for the holiday season.
That’s cool!
Johnny Unitas! That’s Rocking!
(Since RD is absent)
As a Vikings fan, go Nawlins!
One of me!
This is brilliant.
FROZEN TUNDRA
CHEESEHEADS
RIDING BIKES TO PRACTICE
OUR FANS OWN THE TEAM
GO FUCK YOURSELF GREEN BAY
You’re right, but…
I have the same hate for the teams the NFL fucking crams down our throat, regardless of when their glory days were over: Packers, Cowboys, Steelers, etc. Makes me want to go out and strangle a muskrat
Where do you stand on the Chiefs, as they currently God’s Chosen Team
Ladies and jelly spoons,
Welcome to what we call a trap game. This franchise excels at falling into them, despite the overabundance of hunters.
One has something to gain, the other little to live for, little did you know it’s the opposite of what it appears.
“Here’s a nice soft bed GB! Now don’t shit in it…!”
The belly gurgles…
Nah, you will kick the shit out of them.
I’ve lived here and with this for forty (redacted) years. I trust the process.
Exactly as I thought. Fucked by Snoopy on ice.
They played a 5 minute version of the fucking song.
Eldest granddaughter was laughing at me.
I feel like this is LDB suicide
Without question.
I’m still in ! Misanthropy is paying off this year
I haven’t actually been playing, but same.
So close.
Mine was the Christmas concert every year and the jazz version of it.
Good news! The Dr. Mrs. had an x-ray of her broken hand and it’s healing properly! No further attention needed!
Christmas vacuuming after all! It’s a Festivus miracle!
She’ll be bitch-slapping you in no time!
MOAR FISH SOUP FOR BREAKFAST!
https://ibb.co/bKwRVxn
https://ibb.co/T08xFJ2
https://ibb.co/9r5skBg
Guidobama
You forgot to mention that you need 5 points from Tucker in order to make it to the Championship Game AS AN EIGHT SEED!!
The 6, 7, and 8 seeds all won last week. Meanwhile I’m putting up 170 pts in the consolation bracket because Henry and Saquon decided to turn up this week!
I will remember you –
Sarah McLachlanlitre_colaI would have beat all 4 top lowratio teams if my team didn’t shit the bed last week, preventing my glorious ascension
I bounced early to get to my after work appointment.
This week is going to suck.
https://ibb.co/Lhh8MPm
So it turns out it IS the water pump and pulley that tension the timing chain, it just took a while to figure it out as of course the car doesn’t always make the noise 😛
Leaving it over the holidays and it’ll be good as new when I get back
What kind of car is it?
2011 Mazda2
What’s the noise? Is it an occasional shrill squeaking sound? If so, that’s the rubber serpentine belt (sometimes called the V-belt), which drives all the accessories (alternator, power steering pump, air conditioning compressor, and water pump) and has a spring-loaded tensioner. If it’s the serpentine belt squeaking, the belt has probably stretched to the tensioner’s limit of keeping it tight. If it squeaks it’s also means the belt has started to glaze and needs to be replaced. The timing chain and serpentine belt are driven directly off the crankshaft, and the tensioner’s sole function is to keep the belt tight as it gradually stretches over its lifetime. The water pump just pumps coolant and has no tensioning function.
The timing chain is internal and doesn’t have (and doesn’t need) a tensioner. Replacing the timing chain is a major repair; replacing the V-belt is routine.
https://ibb.co/1Qw7GTx
Mazda 2 V-Belt (2011-2014)
It’s nothing like a squealing noise, it’s more like in this video but with a bit of a rattle or rubbing type sound as well
https://packaged-media.redd.it/2jdcc9xa4h991/pb/m2-res_1080p.mp4?m=DASHPlaylist.mpd&v=1&e=1735020000&s=e91b50ee8d52cfa3152b3e8b4c509d0468f73c5b
https://repairpal.com/estimator/mazda/2/timing-chain-tensioner-replacement-cost
It’s this
That’s interesting they’re referring to a tensioner, because there’s only two plastic chain guides that interface with the chain (which is a common setup now for several manufacturers and is a weak point). Anyway, sounds like you’ve got a handle on it.
Yeah, I suspect they just name things after what they used to be for consistency. Either way want to keep the engine and everything around it happy. Have had no problems with this car and it’s at 120k miles so it’s earned some TLC and should be good for another 120k
If you are getting it done for under a grand, you are very lucky.
It’ll be $1200, but that’s still below the area specific estimates they give, stupid expensive California!
The first woman President of the United States, Rhonda Reagan:
https://ibb.co/HNzcGbY
Gotta love a woman with strong eyebrows
Nancy was still the oral queen of Hollywood
Explains the reckless spending.
It’s also a Christmas movie!
Is that the one with Richard Gere and an uncredited gerbil?
It wasn’t uncredited. A young and stoned Robert Downey Jr. played the ass-crawling gerbil.
Funny story — we are leaving Oahu to our next island and the news is a volcano is going of on the Big Island.
And you have 40-50 foot waves!
Pro tip: Lava is hot, like too hot to drink.
How else you gonna kill it without UV light inside of you?!