Adeste Fidelis or Else: Tuesday Open Thread

O come, all ye drunkards,

Boozed up and recumbent!

O come ye, O come ye to

DoorFliesOpen

Come and behold Him

Born the King of Footsie!

O come, let us adore Him, (3×)

Rex Ryaaaan the Lord.

rex-ryan-howthafuckyadoinboys.jpg

How the fuck you doin’, boys?

It’s kind, damn kind of you to invite me to this fine Christmas Eve. Although to be honest, Rob and I have always preferred Saturnalia, on account of all the gambling, the orgies, things of that nature.

But Christmas is great too. You know how much I love stuffed stockings all year ’round. And one year we were in Amsterdam when those Dutch bastards put out their wooden shoes…well, it put the Red Light District to shame, let me tell you what.

Regardless of what you are celebrating, the shit-throwing monkeys who run this site asked me to wish you a Merry Whateverthefuck and a Happy Fuck Your Mother.

[Zach Wilson has entered the chat]

 

AUTHORS NOTE: Remember to set your lineups, make your picks and renew your Netflix free trial- we’ve got football tomorrow!

5 8 votes
Article Rating
The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem
Feared conqueror; scholar; poet; revered holy man; professional raconteur; soldier of fortune; aloof yet thorough lover; bandit; blazing gypsy speedboat. I have been called some of these things.
Subscribe
Notify of
82 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Unsurprised

comment image

WCS

That *is* fun.

Gatoraids

Checking in on a JJfozz christmas

https://www.youtube.com/live/3LJsEC_m4T8

Senor Weaselo

Well, I survived this year’s Christmas double, and I definitely did the speed limit on both 287 and I-80! You know, for legal reasons.

yeah right

See?

That’s a present.

1000008608.jpg
yeah right

Best friend and his wife used to have a completely normal house in the daytime on Christmas Eve.

Kids go to bed.

All hell breaks loose.

String the entire inside of the apartment with lights, build every goddamn toy from fucking nuts and bolts.

Mom starts dinner at like 3:15 AM.

They’re drinking wine and tequila and beer the whole time.

And it turned out perfectly each time that I can remember.

yeah right

And they put up a TREE!

WCS

Can’t say they’re not devoted.

yeah right

It was not normal but it was kind of incredible.

Gumbygirl

Goodnight my darling dears. Merry fucking Christmas!

christmas-squirrel (1).gif
blaxabbath

It’s always the hat for me…

yeah right

Happy happy everyone.

Best to all of you and thank you for being my void that responds when I yell into it.

I love you people.

Not more than family.

Exactly like family.

Redshirt

Ref: “This is the end of the game.”

Me: “Sure glad you cleared that up, because that crowd was getting ready for Double Jeopardy, where the scores can really change!”

Redshirt
Redshirt

I still think they should have these count as 6 points instead of only 2. If it reaches the 3rd OT, let the score go nuts.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I guess this means I survived the LDB challenge again this year.

yeah right

I not only didn’t survive.

They drew me into a sold out arena, with a big slab of frozen ice.

Then they blasted that shit out for a solid 4 minutes.

It was an execution chamber!

It was horrible actually.

Redshirt

What a way to reward both kickers with clutch kicks by banning them from the field for the remainder of the contest.

WCS

Hawaii Bowl is broken and very drunk already.
comment image

Last edited 7 hours ago by WCS
yeah right

And Blax just got there!

Redshirt

This referee does like the sound of his voice. I’m waiting for him to start calling down and distance and counting down the play clock.

Horatio Cornblower

MOAR FOOTBALL WHAT IS FREE!!!

Horatio Cornblower

(Unless they go for 2, which they should: it’s Xmas Eve)

Brick Meathook

The Gary Show
Starring Bink Pancake and Trevel Seltzy. Written by Ayn Rand.

https://www.facebook.com/cris.shapan/videos/10207702408733763
https://ibb.co/10xgdNv
(Cris Shapan)

WCS
Last edited 7 hours ago by WCS
Horatio Cornblower

4th and 1 from the 3, down 7, in OT.

Mike McCarthy sends out the FG unit.

Redshirt

Zac Taylor punts and plays Field Position.

Gatoraids

Rizzi and Carr further maims all their starting skill players

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mz8phJG_bmk

2Pack

Christmas in Napoli

IMG-20241219-WA0001.jpg
yeah right

That’s lovely.

Horatio Cornblower

Me: I’ll wait for my wife to go to bed, that fill up her stocking, (NAWT a euphemism), and set out her gifts.

Mrs. Horatio: I am going to stay up all night!

Redshirt

Been there, done that.

Gatoraids
Redshirt

Free football in the Hawai’i High School Band Invitational / Bowl Game.

That’ll do South Florida and San Jose State. That’ll do.

Horatio Cornblower

Really should have tried an onsides kick there. What the hell, right?

Redshirt

I’m more surprised when they took a knee when the defense wasn’t set or even lined up. If I’m the QB, I don’t care if I’m in a kneel down formation. If I can get my RB into full running stride while the defense is flat footed and not paying attention, I’m doing it.

Unless they were doing a Prevent Defense, but it didn’t look like a normal Prevent Defense. It looked like a Defense that was phoning it in.

Gatoraids

Boink’lar has blessed lesser footie with overtime

Gatoraids

one thing with the pandemic came to appreciate curated DJ sets over the various algorithms let alone AI, listening to such a smooth DJ Jazzy Jeff set on twitch

Horatio Cornblower

Merry Christmas in advance, folks.

I’ll be at my mother’s, where not only do we not have Netflix, we don’t have wifi or more than the most basic of basic cable. We might be able to get a basketball game on, but that’s probably it.

Yes, I have thought of gifting my mother wifi for Xmas, or just in general, or paying for a better cable package, or both.

And then I consider how right her views have already drifted and then I decide I can suck it up on various holidays.

comment image

Last edited 8 hours ago by Horatio Cornblower
Unsurprised

Depending on how long you’re there, it would be worth bringing your own modem, router, and AppleTV

Redshirt

Home Alone AKA Saw for Kids!

Honest Action – Home Alone – YouTube

Game Time Decision

Watching the original now

fleshwound_NPG

merry xmas from hell doctor

hell-doctor.jpg
Doktor Zymm

Next up, Dec 13th Redbreast 19yr

Gatoraids

sounds like Matt Gaetz text but a little too aged for his tastes

Gatoraids

Merry Christmas Eve all

Here’s to 20 anniversery of a ghost of Christmas past

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0W05mDljPw

Brick Meathook
Doktor Zymm

comment image

These robes are pretty fabulous, but I am really confused as to who the target audience is for these things. Is buff gay men really that large of a market segment?

Doktor Zymm

comment image

Maybe it’s for sugar daddies? All the female models seem to be a bit older

Brick Meathook
Doktor Zymm

And looks like the main difference between the men’s and women’s robes is that the women’s robes don’t have pockets. WTF, weird robe store!?

fleshwound_NPG

“No concealed weapons!”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51Ew5EjQ3RY

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What did you and AI do to Morgan Fairchild?

Horatio Cornblower

Andrew Tate is a big fan, so apparently it’s marketed at buff closeted gay men.

Redshirt

Of course my local township has the approved Santa Claus Delivery Route starting at a local brewery. Because if circumstances lead you to end up in Ohio, you need a drink.

Brick Meathook
DJ TAJ

Feel the magic

Game Time Decision

We have a Santa pic with our kids really young like this. We laugh about it every year when it gets put out

Brick Meathook
Doktor Zymm

Time for a bit more Scotch advent calendar catchup!
Dec 10th: Lagg Corriecravie Oloroso Finish
Initial sniff tells me it’s peaty, apparently it’s from the Isle of Arran and they traditionally do unpeated scotches, but built an entire second distillery to start doing peat!

WCS

comment image

Redshirt

Uh, due to unforeseen circumstances, Santa may be slightly delayed in starting his routes.

IMG_0239.jpeg
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

DR. MRS. DEADLY, ESQ.: They’re expecting us at six-thirty, so let’s leave here at six-fifteen.

EVENT IN QUESTION: [is literally two houses away]

WCS

It takes a while to vacuum the yards.

Unsurprised

There’s a non-zero chance the Deadly Family owns a leaf blower

Unsurprised

RTD at 6:14

comment image

Doktor Zymm

It’s actually taken me a long time to stop being super early to things, now I’m only slightly early most of the time so I would say leave at 6:25

Horatio Cornblower

Well they’ll never expect that.

Brick Meathook
Unsurprised

12.5% cider? You’re awfully sweet, cider.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Unsurprised telling fellow members of the clubhouse about cider (artist’s conception):

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

(I’m kidding, of course. If it’s got booze in it, we absolutely want to know more.)

Unsurprised

It’s delicious, but not boozy in the least. So I’m curious when the 12.5% kicks in.

Unsurprised

This is part of a bigger issue now that I suddenly had a desire to get drunk, but no reason to because I’d just be drunk and sitting on my couch watching movies, and I already do that sober.

Doktor Zymm

If it’s a boring movie you’ll be less annoyed?

ballsofsteelandfury

Excellent work!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I love how everyone repeatedly declined my offer of beef tacos until my food was hot and ready at which point the Dr. Mrs. proposed that I should make a fish taco for her mother, and her mother assented.

WCS

She’s just excited to break out the new vacuum.

SonOfSpam

VACUUM THIS: A PORN PARDOY OF RIKKI’S LIFE

“Hey, you wanna see a fish taco? Let’s see yours first.”

(a threeway begins, because it’s actually her stepmom so it’s okay)

And that’s my Xmas gift to you!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Stop recording my dreams.