Wake Me Up When Dyche Gets the Sack (Saturday Open Thread)

WIth the “Inner Circle of Hades” final four, you can count me out for 2024-25 JV NFL playoffs.  Other than the back half of Sparky/Steerfuckers South, I regret any brain cells I sacrifiied to same.  And of course, I’ve no interest in watching the rest of the Premiership roll over and let the Redshite filth tickle their bellies.

I did submit hold requests for three Christopher Moore books with my local library, so look forward to starting those.  See if it changes my mood/outlook (SPOILER – it won’t, but I still wecome any and all distractions from this awful Darkest Timeline.

Don’t really have anything else for y’all today.  Scotchy will be by later to preview AFC North day, and then we at least get Vikes/Fuck LioUns Sunday night.  Everything else in the world is just dreck, as we chug on mercilessly toward society’s extinction.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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yeah right

Just staying out the way while the right house gets decommissioned from Christmas lights.

It’s a long process.

Think I’ll have another beer.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Usually when burrow and nix are battling for glory, it involves the phrase, “No really just the tip. I mean it.”

Brick Meathook

P&W R-2800 Double Wasp

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scotchnaut

Silly Factoid: The Baylor basketball team has a player who is the very first Nicaraguan to earn a D1 scholarship!

litre_cola

MS 13 with that NIL money.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

MANAGUA! TITICACA!

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[throws down clipboard]

[clipboard contains the names of Arsenal players he is trying to memorize so he doesn’t sound like such a ***t when claiming to support the team]

Horatio Cornblower

Me: “I wish for the delicate touch of a Premier League player”

Genie: “Your wish is granted”

Me: (Picks up tea cup, crushing it between my fingers)

Genie: (shrugs) “Hey, Thomas Partey is a Premier League player.

Horatio Cornblower

I haven’t seen the King’s African Rifles perform this poorly since Isandlwana

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I don’t believe you’re out for the playoffs, you liar

Horatio Cornblower

Arsenal fans screaming on Twitter that it wasn’t a penalty against Arsenal as though it’s ever been legal to head butt another player whilst in the box.

litre_cola

I thought it deserved a yellow.

Horatio Cornblower

It would have been hard to argue with that.

Although I can point you to several Arsenal Twitter-types who would have.

yeah right

It was pretty fucking blatant.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I haven’t seen such a disappointing clash of heads since Kiefer Sutherland challenged me to a pork swordfight in the men’s room at Cascabel.” – Buddy Cole’s Halftine Show

Dunstan

I mean, it’s legal in Glasgow as I understand it

Horatio Cornblower

I believe it’s acceptable as a social greeting, but still a penalty on the pitch. I defer to Litre.

litre_cola

Oh the Glaswegian Kiss is as prevalent as a Winnipeg handshake. Which brings the question, how am I still alive???

rockingdog
rockingdog
Gatoraids

oldest guy at the club has been replaced by oldest guy on the stream.

scotchnaut

“Adrian Dittman who is definitely not Elon Musk”. Ha!

Cecil Rhodes

Good day, and Happy New Year, dear colleagues! I have just returned from a lovely holiday at the Hôtel des Milles Collines in German East Africa. It’s a truly outstanding place to spend a holiday when the hotel rooms are not filled with undesirable refugees!

The King’s Finest Legions appear to be in complete control against those troublesome seagulls. Kudos to our loyal child soldier Nwaneri for breaking the deadlock — he sliced through the back line like our forces slice through the ranks of any rebel groups that challenge the Empire! Onward to glory!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Happy New Year! Long live the King!

scotchnaut

Much like their students, Liberty’s football team can’t score.

blaxabbath

Last full day in Hawaii. My contractor did a good job with the first phase interior stuff. We got lined up for them to put together a design for the baths, laundry, outdoor shower, plus a couple misc things before June 1 (earliest theoretical return). Then I’m kind of out of little stuff and need to maybe get educated in the permitting about here. It appears to be slower than buillder-friendly Arizona but still very much in the, “We are underresourced and overloaded. Do our paperwork for us and we’ll all have an easier time just pushing it through.” Which is my favorite way to do paperwork. Therefore, I think the theoretical last/big permitted phased work could be built on paper by end of summer and then, I dunno, 9-12 months for a permit.

blaxito seems most excited that this place has a Nintendo Switch. He won’t hear me when I tell him it stays here with the family Aloha Spirt.

Phoenix set a new record high for Jan 3 yesterday. This is the new The World getting in order and I don’t want to be in the hottest part of it in five years.

scotchnaut

I heard the surfing in Arizona is pretty bad as well.

blaxabbath

We’re getting world class beaches over at 0 Super Bowl Championship Way!

https://www.vairesort.com/attractions.htm

yeah right

Outdoor showers are the fucking best.

We had one on the Jersey Shore and it was amazing. Lay some stepping stones between said shower and back door and no sand gets in the house.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We used to have one at our place in Del Mar and it was magnificent. My only regret is that I never got to have outdoor shower sex, and it’s a pretty big regret because my girlfriend in that house almost definitely would have been up for it.

yeah right

Oh there was Sexy time!

scotchnaut

Liberty coach is wearing a shirt that says “Jesus Won”

With the score 9-0 Buffalo, he’s down an octopus. (which his dad made)

blaxabbath

Hey! Merry Christmas and Fuck Your Feelings, Cuck!

scotchnaut

Did Eritrea make the semi’s? I have money on it.

scotchnaut

So does this game account for weirdo non-power countries (now) being good in the far-off future?

/asking for a cold-ish nation

Cecil Rhodes

I have placed all of my shillings on the 2282 version of England, as all of South America will surely be a territory of the British Empire by that time!

2Pack

Well Marika and I have Napoli coming up here. If I can get her out of the bathroom and off the phone…

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Cecil Rhodes

That brassiere that she is wearing should be used in building foundations — it can hold up anything!

Senor Weaselo

I haven’t seen someone hope that a Bournemouth-based team puts someone in a bin bag since…
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Senor Weaselo

We would have also accepted “I haven’t seen someone in Bournemouth try to stomp out rodents like that since I read The Witches.”

These are the two things I know about Bournemouth.

Last edited 1 day ago by Senor Weaselo
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

that robot design was based on the “lust” murder from se7en ppl forget that

Senor Weaselo

I can’t find the picture, but IYKYK.

Fronkenshteen

Just put a buck on West Ham to come back and win with Soucek to score. This doesn’t seem like the usual Man City pantsing so far.

Horatio Cornblower

I think you’ve seen the last of that dollar.

Fronkenshteen

For three minutes that was one hell of a bet.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I am planning to be very sweet to the Dr. Mrs. this morning to make sure she doesn’t set the vacuum to “hangover”.

Horatio Cornblower

Woke up this morning with what I suspect is the sinus thing both my kids reported having after leaving our house for the holidays.

I suspect I’ll be spending the last two days of my vacation as God intended: whining like a child that my nose hurts.

litre_cola

I have been ill all fucking 12 days of my vacation. I want a fucking refund. Yes, I am very bitter about it.

blaxabbath

“Weren’t you just on vacation? ”

“No that was strike. THIS is vacation.”

litre_cola

I was busier when the union was on strike than normal. The facilities saw it as an opportunity to play catch up on all the shit that they didn’t do throughout the year. Of course they didn’t know how so my people and I had some teaching to do.

blaxabbath

That’s pretty bad striking to be so efficient.

litre_cola

My folks and I weren’t on strike, was the delivery folks and plant workers.

blaxabbath

Man if I had union brethren, I’d be striking in support of them each time any of them had a grievance.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

…union brethren…

“Normally I wear protection, but then I thought, “When am I gonna make it back to Scotland?” – blaxxabath the elder

blaxabbath

If we’ve heard of it, safe to assume the creeps have already decked out their lairs in these symbols.

Last edited 1 day ago by blaxabbath
Fronkenshteen

Has anyone heard anything about any sort of visible universal symbol people so inclined can apply to their homes to signify that they are safe havens?

Horatio Cornblower

Safe haven for what?

Fronkenshteen

Hard to say, exactly. Guess we’ll start to see in a month or so.

Don T

Charlie Sheen’s house

ballsofsteelandfury

Scotchy might be able to assist…

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blaxabbath

You gots to focus elsewhere. Like on what Elite Business or Elite Political leader you plan to take out before you’re done.

2Pack

The Gypsys do.

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Brick Meathook

DC Fire Stations have these signs outside that show there are white people inside who will save you.

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Fronkenshteen

Kulusevski lined Gordon up for that shot. He’s going to get banned for that.

Fronkenshteen

So, am I rooting for Nottingham Forest to make the Champions League this year? or will that schedule just spread them too thin to be any good in either league next year?

litre_cola

Their owner is a fucking lunatic. Their fan base sucks balls. Fuck them.

ballsofsteelandfury

If Christopher Moore doesn’t cheer Hippo up, I don’t know what will…

scotchnaut

Dyche gets the sack sounds like secret agent Peyton Manning’s first assignment.

Horatio Cornblower

Balls could put that in as an AVN awards-contender title and I wouldn’t bat an eye.

Last edited 1 day ago by Horatio Cornblower
blaxabbath

It’d be nice if Balls would quit stiffing the trannies in his awards.