Things get very tense in this here slate. The games? Sure. But we’ll get to Geno Smith eventually.
To The Games!
Chiefs/Broncos:
Redshirt of all folks knows what the score is here. Denver gets the advantage of home and their starters actually playing. Kansas City gets the advantage of always, always winning squeakers.
Chargers/Raiders:
Vegas has their draft pick and lousy reputation to protect so I think they’ll roll over and ask for a belly rub.
Seahawks/Rams:
Nothing on the line for Seattle but Geno is staring at 6 mil if things fall right. He needs 186 yards passing for a cool 2mil, if he passes at a 70% completion rate that’s another cool 2 mil and if he gets the W that’s 10 for the year and the last 2 mil kicks in. His base salary is 12.7 so that’s quite a nice chunk.
Fins/Jets:
I don’t know that I could ever say, “I’m in Aaron Rodgers’ corner!” but desperate times, etc. If only the Jets had the semblance of a good team you know that Miami would never stand a chance because they just can’t beat teams that play .500+ ball.
Niners/Cards:
The Blown Opportunities Bowl. Had things swung slightly in another direction we’d be looking at a battle for first in the division but the Cards are the Cards and the Niners just had too much adversity to overcome.
Get out there! (but stretch first)
Oh yay…the Rat Birds/Squealers in a post game battle.
Fun. Go team astroid!
Alright the Bengals’ postmortem is the Week 1 loss to New England. Set aside that we were one loss away, it set the tone.
Sunsets are a special time.
If I can snag in-flight wifi that’ll deliver me the Cardinals Talk Post-Game Call-In Show, this may be a very special end to a very special holiday.
We don’t deserve a sudden and merciful annihilation by a vengeful God, but we deserve something faster than what we’re being tortured with now.
It’s kind of weird to me that the Chargers have so many of the Ravens’ cast offs.
It’s almost like Jim is trying to copy John..
hand me downs a rich family tradition
Jack Harbaugh used the old Spartan method of determining if his sons will survive:
Immediately after they were born, he abandoned each of them in a field alone for three days.
Since they obviously survived, that convinced the patriarch his boys were ready to move onto the next training method: fighting each other over one bottle of milk.
“YOU MEASELY, WORTHLESS SHITS AINT WORTH ANYTHING TILL YOU PROVE TO ME YOU’LL KILL EACH OTHER TO SURVIVE” he screams in the faces of the four-day old infants.
throws them at refrigerator so they can fetch him a beer
“THE FUCK YOU FUCKING LITTLE SHIT STAIN MEAN YOU CAN’T OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR?! FUCKING WEAK ASS PANSIES, BOTH OF YOU!”
he rants, as the six-week-olds stare on, drooling
To give the devil their due, at least the Chiefs didn’t dick us around by keeping it close. They rolled over from the opening kick.
Goodell needs to do something about these teams not trying.
nods about Miami
Tua gave up his brain two years ago. What more do you want?
poor Red Zone having this slate of games for their last witching hour and having to eat wing stop
Since they’re airing ads now, they can eat shit and die.
Fuck you redzone with your commercials
O’Connell is out; Ridder is in. Late window is getting worse and worse.
Had a nap. Dakota Jesus is no second coming?
Bengals fans why the long face
–Britany Mahomes
Time for dinner. There’s nothing worth watching now.
they took the blowout game off the tv for the raiders, which means time for a break until vikes/lions
Scott Hanson can do no wrong generally, but “biggest game in the history of the NFC North?”
I mean, I hate the result, but the Bears and Green Bay did play each other in the NFC Championship game just fifteen years ago.
Can’t blame them for trying to forget about Jay Cutler
Just caught his 2nd TD today, but “Dortch” still sounds like an insult.
Dortch On Golf
Huh, I kinda expected KC to at least pretend to try
They *tried* to try. But it just didn’t work out.
I really wish Denver would stop sucking the Browns starting QB next year.
Oops. Supposed to be “sacking”.
Stupid, sexy spelling check.
That makes more sense but is less intruiging
Why does Denver’s 50 yard line emblem feature a horse smoking a vape?
If you bring Blucifer a tribute he will either eat you or answer your question
It’s an A&H Used Vape Cartridge.
Pretty cool of Fox to let that mentally retarded kid be on set.
Oh wait…that’s Gronk.
They keep America’s Dementia Patient (Bradshaw) on, so why not Make-A-Wish Gronk?
I haven’t seen Aaron have a first half this good since the Obama administration.
That Pearsall kid may have a shot in this league!
Somewhere, Dan Snyder is shaking with impotent rage, at the Commies making the playoffs immediately after the NFL stripped him of the team.
It looks good on him.
Such a delicious thought
tiniester violin playing for the tinest man who is probably still offshore in international waters
Everything is legal out there.
Let’s hope the rage brings on a stroke. He deserves to drool and babble before he burns in hell.
Like that fucking piece of shit Sterling with the Clippers, they punished him by making him a multibillionaire. Everyone in this story deserves to die slowly and painfully.
I think Aaron Rodgers just ate a booger.
After doing his own research, he discovered previously unknown health benefits from them.
Hey, if you sit on your toilet long enough doing your own research, you’re going to come up with some real answers to some complex health issues!
at least no one can deny DOLFANS NATION did not do all they could to help out the Bengals
bo’s lateral was legal in rugby but not in the nfl
we need a rugby rule
In case you’re wondering, the shit posts on the Bears subreddit are fucking amazing. We’re talking memes, posts about the Bears being undefeated in 2025, celebrating that Caleb is undefeated at Lambeau, etc. It is legit unclear who is being sarcastic and who believes in this team.
https://www.reddit.com/r/CHIBears/comments/1huhyfu/nobody_beats_da_bears_12_times_in_a_row_nobody/
the exorcism of Dan Snyder also drove out the spirit of OFFSEASON CHAMPs from Washington it seems
It’s been a sight to behold…
backward lateral (receiver was behind the player before and after the pitch) but the forward momentum makes it…forward?
guess i shoulda stayed in that physics class i dropped a week more
Good god it’s a long day when you’re team is playing the night game.
Lloyd? I’ll have another.
Juwan Jennings has declared a fatwa against the Cardinals secondary.
And just got kicked out of the game for it.
KC REALLY doesn’t want to leave even a hint of a chance at facing Burrow in the playoffs again.
they were not looking forward to scoring 40+ against that defense i suppose
Jerrod Mayo shitcanned.
“Mayo canned, coaching tenure expires”
“NAWH WE CAHN FINAHLLY GET BAHK TO AH SUPAH BOWHL! NO ONE DENIES THIS!”
-Tawmmy from Quinzee
NANA’S CANNED SPAHKLING MAYO WAS A TRAHDTION
“LA Double Box” also known as a Weinstein weekend screen test.
Why in the fuck would I root for Aaron Rodgers in anything?
More funding for mental health studies?
if he enters the Sylvia Plath Baking Competition
What just happened in Denver? Ho. Lee. Fuk.
might as well eliminate bungles and phins right now with that shit
KC put in their local collegian volleyball team on defense
In unrelated news, New York City finally instituted Congestion Pricing for driving into Manhattan I think
That’s Rocking!!!!
I would actually call that the Madness Tax.
Cuz anyone driving into Manhattan is insane.
No shit! Man, you can take the train to Penn Station and walk up the stairs to midtown Manhattan.
Used to do it all the time. Walk to the NJT station and ride that pony into Newark then take the train to Manhattan. Back then it was a ten dollar round trip and you could leave your empties on the train when you got off.
How else was I supposed to move in to my NYU dorms?
You might like this fella if you haven’t come across him already-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07Bw4xRSW3Y&ab_channel=RayDelahanty%7CCityNerd
Scotchy, I love (especially for your work with the homeless) but this guy is a moron and I disagreed and hated everything he said, and I also hated his face, his voice, and his ugly shirt. He’s borderline special-needs.
Maybe he takes nature hikes; he seems the type. Maybe you could meet up with him.
The guy has a good take on a few things, but he hates cars and in his perfect world we’d all live in apartments.
That’s the problem I have with “urbanists”. They think Soviet block buildings were a wonderful idea and we should all ride the bus.
You guys don’t want to hear me bitch about having to be on the bus.
If I wanted to ride the bus, I wouldn’t have gone to college and worked at a career.
Oh well, I liked the video.
I presume Brick honeymooned in Salem.
Salem Oregon, Massachusetts, Indiana, Missouri, New Jersey, North Carolina, New York, Alabama, Arkansas, Connecticut, Florida, Georgia, Illinois, Iowa, Kentucky, Nebraska, New Hampshire, Ohio, South Dakota, Utah, or Virginia?
What was your question again?
Wait, are we naming states we’ve been in?
California, Washington, Arizona, Nevada, Utah, New Mexico, Texas, Oklahoma, Missouri, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, New York, Connecticut, Rhode Island, Massachusetts, Vermont, Florida, Virginia, Georgia, Louisiana.
And I just finished the Christopher Moore book.
I started reading when the Red Zone countdown began and I finished shortly after the late slate started.
Gotta say, I think I spent my time wisely.
Were you snuggled up with your new pillow while reading?
I WAS!!
It was too comfy and I started falling asleep, so I switched to a less comfortable setup.
Red Zone briefly changes to BLEERGH Zone there.
I was hoping for a 3rd one.
last time Reid let the starters sit like this was when he attended Dr Oz’s crudite fest
Qards with some trickeration.
nawt a good sign for us when they came out in the classic donks uniforms
Lookit that murder ball, and that’s the only guy Q-aron actually LIKES
Treating him like family!
Adams accidentally called A-A ron “bro” on the sideline?
Admitted he voted for Kamala
Apologies, Magical Pony. I was reasonably sure Chefs were completely laying down. But at least you don’t have to keep cheering for Q-aron.
Those Helmets & Jerseys combo is Rockingggg! 🐎
I do indeed agree!
When do Pitchers and Catchers report?
Ask Balls.
ask patriots fans, too
If it were up to me, the Steelers would be out, and both Hippo and Redshirt would be happy today. I mean it. They don’t deserve to be in there, and I won’t be sorry or surprised when the Ravens beat them like whatshisnames wife got whooped in that elevator.
All good. Your guys limped across the finish line but at least they crossed it.
I’m hoping the Clips lose in Vegas, so we get better games (PIT/HOU and x-SD/BAL).
Buffalo is gonna murder kill us, no ifs ands or buts. We’ll just be happy to be there (and am fine with that)
The worst part is how embarrassingly they will lose.
Still, Christmas miracles exist, right?
Please note I just finished reading Christopher Moore’s “The Stupidest Angel: A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror”. That’s the type of Christmas miracle I’m expecting.
Ms. Garafalo AND Black Powder getting some run!
oh shit, broncos with the orange crush unis
No karma bonus; they only wear these flawless jerseys only twice a year!
Sextobox on Red Zone! I am confuse, but bring on the fitbaw!
Scott Hansen practicing in offseason by announcing orgies on zonehub
RAISE YO’ FIST
.
Got my Wentz jersey on for ya Redshirt
tuff butt FARE