Someone once said, “If you don’t have anything good to say about anyone, come here and have a seat beside me.” My guess is Dorothy Parker because she had all the good quips but I think it was a society dame in reality.
Like, we all tend to lean towards lower-seeded teams doing well but this time it sure as hell didn’t work. Both made mincemeat of their opponent on the last round. Are they that good or are the seedings all wonky-like? Overall, college football is doing us a solid by keeping us (sorta) entertained the next two nights until the Big Boys show up on the weekend.
-If you’re not up for this and would like to watch college ball, #20 Purdue, #15 Oregon and #16 Michigan State are out there on the hardcourt.
-Tom Telesco A-Go-Go: You sign your name on the Raiders bottom line and you’re just not around for long because Mark Davis has the attention span of Andy Dick on coke. Actually, just Andy Dick. Of course he didn’t help his cause by signing everyone’s favorite backup Gardener Minshew to start and to collect 15 million in guaranteed monies. (Minshew lasted 5 games, but he dresses funky) Telesco didn’t even last one calendar year. Who the hell wants to be a coach or executive in this morbidly dysfunctional excuse for a franchise?
-You’ve long moved on by now but back in December of ’23 Frank Wychek died as a result of a fall in his house. Results recently made public show that he was suffering from the second-most severe stage of CTE. Fifty-two years old, man.
Do your best in the comments.
Future hall of famer eli showing my feelings toward that call:
Eli > Peyton
There haven’t been a lot of penalties in this game, but by god they’ve been stupid.
This is the meteor game. Fact
THAT COVERAGE, I CALL IT THE PENN STATE CHILD SAFETY OFFICE, BECAUSE ALL THE PENN STATE GUYS WERE FALLING DOWN ON THE JOB!!!
Luck of the fucking Irish.
Fuck
Irish fans throwing beer bottles on the field. Stay Classy you fucks!
I’m all for pelting officials with glass and such, but maybe don’t do it after your team committed the dictionary definition of pass interference.
When you’re accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression…
—-Maya Angelou, or someone
Pretty sure Genghis Khan said that.
Nah, it was that hellen Keller chick, the one who hid in the attic
Oh yeah, I read her book.
Took a hell of a turn.
YOU’RE WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG!!!
(it was a beer can)
Do Catholics worship BLEERGH?!
JV BLEEEEERGH!!!
Functional Neurological Disorder!
Frigid North Dakota!
Flipping Nerdy Ducks!
Sudden Change!
Hey, the guy who shot up Comet Pizza several years ago just committed suicide by cop.
So that’s something.
Yes, but how does affect the Leafs?
Unfortunately, almost all of the other QAnon weirdos are still around.
It’s always nice to see when of them takes themselves out though. Puts a little spring in my step.
Limpdick didn’t have the stones to do it himself. Fuck him and fuck that. Don’t traumatize others because you ruined your life.
I sincerely hope whatever is next for this shitstain is really, really bad. With a sick twist of irony and cynicism, he’s reincarnated exactly the same, in a vegan commune in Vermont.
Worthy of consideration for the Rod and Todd treatment.
https://ibb.co/n63wx4b
Another great Brick pic!
Oh, good to see that Penn State TE’s “back injury” cleared up after just a couple of plays.
They are in Miami, I’m sure the Dolphins medical staff is ensuring everyone gets a clean bill of health.
#PaedoBubbles
Oh yeah, that PSU TE has CTE now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dp11DjaUc5A
Man, he reached for that goal line like a priest for an altar boy
I dunno, that didn’t seem all that covert.
Firmly grasping a leathery ball?
Both of these offenses are setting college football back ten years.
Both represent entire institutions dedicated to taking society back 100 years minimum, so your point follows accordingly.
Ichiro Suzuki is going to be elected to the Hall of Fame and it would be hysterical if he went in as a Yankee.
That is absolutely not funny at all.
OK, as a Marlin then.
Much better. That would be hilarious.
Lotta disrespect to the Nippon Ham Fighters in here smh
Parcells and Reid have strong, but very different, opinions on this team name.
This whole thread makes me very happy.
Not as happy as Andy Reid hearing the word “ham” but still, pretty happy.
Just got home & saw the score. Since I feel dirty rooting for either team, can I hope for Bane to open up the field & swallow them all?
That was an outstanding job syncing the outro-to-commercial music to the slo-mo replay of that hit. Hats off to the guys in the truck, man. That was a good one.
THAT TACKLE ON THE PUNT I CALL IT SANDUSKY’S SECOND MILE, BECAUSE GODDAM HE RECTUM!!!
Both of these programs have great tight ends.
They just don’t stay all that tight at Penn State.
https://www.cnn.com/2025/01/09/politics/supreme-court-donald-trump-sentencing/index.html
Roberts I get, but Barrett being a voice of reason wasn’t what I had on my 2025 Bingo Card.
There’s nothing to lose for them; Trump can appear by Zoom and he’s not getting jail time.
Now, what would be funny is if the judge turned around and sentenced him to 4 years hard time, but that’s not going to happen.
Please, oh please, just got the lolz.
The amazing thing is that I’m pretty sure Roberts and Barrett were telling the others this, plus “and then we’re just gonna vacate the conviction on appeal anyway,” and the other four were like “we don’t care, fuck them liberals, give Trump the win now!”
Oh, Notre Dame has names on their jerseys now?
Apparently Jesus can read. He is a legend among framers.
Bowl game tradition.
Just tuned un. The fuck is this? WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE???
ITALIAN GUY IN FOR NOTRE DAME!
First QB with a vowel at the end of his name since Montana!
Race traitor?
We don’t hate the Irish half as much as we did 50 years ago.
Or nearly as much as we should.
Man when I was in Hawaii, this little boy played with my son one day at the beach — Irish as fuck. The mom had the boy all covered up and dad had to spray sunscreen on the kids this Irish hairline. I’m like, why expose this boy to these conditions?
Real nice little boy, I guess. I dunno. Ask these two college football teams.
I hate cops so much it’s not even worth explaining.
HOWEVER
If these cocksuckers are going to start doing their jobs in L.A. County, then the county should go full martial law. Any looters, arsonists, vandals, troublemakers, anyone fucking around in anyway should be summarily executed. Bring on Judge Dredd and let’s make this a cleansing fire.
There should be like a car boot but for looters who get caught.
It’s called a bear trap
I think that Jigsaw fellow might have some good ideas.
So, a bear trap with an added old timey ball and chain?
Replace old timey ball with old timey bomb
Actually, let me clarify. Invoke Posse Comitatus, bring in the Marines like in 1992, and if the L.A. Sheriffs or LAPD or anyone else wants to fuck around, then they get the first rounds.
Arsonists should get the death penalty and, here’s the twist, the method of execution is them being burned alive.
What the hell are they going to loot? Ashes? Charred hulks of cars? Melted computers?
They have arrested at least 20 in the Palisades. The news said that they were likely looking for jewelry left behind by celebrities.
Goddamit what the hell am I doing back east? I’m missing all the good looting action! I know where all the good houses are too. Plus I can wear my Palisades AL hat and tell the authorities that I am also the authorities. They will then let me go unhindered. This has been scientifically proven.
.
The pre-loot areas that are evacuated but not burnt.
Thus, after the fire sweeps though, the insurance carriers overpay on property that was stolen but recorded as burned. So that hurts insurance company bottom lines. Thus, we need crippling punishment for all looters.
Sincerely Yours,
The Stockholders
People are also looting areas where people have preemptively evacuated.
I’m looting here in Connecticut! No one sees it coming!!
Btw, I’m hearing we might get a curfew. All of LA County.
Agreed in part. If it’s food and water, you get a pass. If it’s a television or jewelry, five rounds rapid.
I’ve been on standby for jury duty all week. I got summoned for tomorrow. MOTHERFUCKERS!!!! At least it’s the afternoon session, so I don’t have to drive back from Riverside tonight. But still. COCKSUCKERS!!!
You checked in way too early. Should have waited until 10
I was auto- checking in they were sending text messages at 5:45 every day telling me I was on standby. Clearly, that was a mistake. Fuck!
That’s how they get you!
The key is to say that you’re prejudiced against all races.
I’m going to play the recent widow card. I will sob, they will be soooo ready to excuse me. I may wear a black veil!
Oh, Hell yeah. Clothes. Veil. Gloves. Go full Haunting Spectre of Death.
Get the vapors! Ask if you could use their fainting couch!
Tell them I’m an attorney in Connecticut and that you’re my favorite and they have to let you go due to reciprocity.
Is it too late to buy an urn? Hold it tightly in your hands and when they call your name go “Excuse me, you didn’t call my husband’s name.”
I have his urn. I also have my son’s and all of my pet’s. I could bring all of them in a wagon!
God bless you. That’s hilarious and touching (the good kind, not the Notre Dame/Penn State kind).
My nephew is going to rent a boat when I go and dump all of us in the Pacific. Or Big Bear Lake. Whichever he prefers, I’m not picky
The reality is all you have to say is “my husband recently passed away, I’m going through a lot, and while I would try I really don’t think it would be fair to either side to have me as a juror right now.”
The Court will fall over itself excusing you.
I told them I did acid. Got excused. Seriously
I dunno, this is California.
You might accidentally get appointed to the bench.
Insurmountable lead!
The Rape Bowl
“I CALL THIS PENN STATE QB SARA GANIM BECAUSE HE’S MAKING SOMETHING OUT OF NOTHING!”
-The ghost of Joe Paterno
Notre Dame doesn’t trust their QB.
He’s studying to be a priest.
Well, another Christmas gone and I didn’t get my special present: the chance to shove Jimmy Fallon’s face into a vintage 1954 desk fan.
So you got this finally?
My cousin had this, what a great toy. Occasionally I look on eBay for Marx playsets I had as a kid – they are amazingly expensive
Rams and their fans have to go to Arizona? Haven’t they suffered enough this week?!
“Yeah, but it’s a non-firey heat.”
Hey man! We did set a record high temperature on January 2nd BUT OTHERWISE it’s been pretty cool here. Even some wind tonight. My feet were cold when I came inside from playing soccer barefoot in the grass with blaxito this evening. Not sure if you’ve heard about my grass but that’s for another time….
No
They may have already been evacuated to AZ.
I cannot imagine they are going to sell these at the same ticket price. Well, I’m sure they will. But I think you’d be looking at a purple-out then.
Then again, gives LA fans a reason to get out of town for the weekend….
“MST for the general public and if you can sing the first verse of ‘Tenderness’ there is a small Roger Ranking discount”
How often will people in Arizona get to see a playoff game?
MST, for the general public, is the time zone between the west coast and Chicago.
Penn State’s QB thinks his receivers are 10 feet tall?
Paedos vs. Paedos dominating the TV airwaves
I thought MAGA was going to stop this kind of thing.
Yes, but by eliminating the age of consent. Actually the whole concept of consent, really. They’re going with a Aristocratic Free Use thing.
When you can just have tiers of people, consent is a nonfactor.
Red Sox baseball hat, Notre Dame sweatshirt. That’s a black hole of douchbaggery right there.
Friend of my sister had a father who was big time Irish fan until . . . a black guy became the mascot. He wouldn’t watch until a white guy took over.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_Lu-__2TdY&ab_channel=JamesBrown-Topic
I remember the first time I saw James Brown on TV, and the ending when he took a knee and his posse put the cape on him. I was astounded. I said to my dad, “What is that all about?”
My dad said, “He’s just that good.”
Much like Ohio State alum, Penn State alum around here are annoying as fuck. I get it, you went to a big school. Let me shit my pants over your achievements.
It’s official, RAMMMMMMIT game moved to Arizona.
Congrats to Cards fans, getting a home playoff game.
Glendale AZ might be closer to LA than Phoenix anyway.
Same number of Rams fans in either stadium (like seven).
I’m at SIL’s house, she’s a Penn State alum, so I have to root for them. Like a pig for truffles! But the food is great, and she opened some good cab, so I’m happy
That’s the spirit(s)!
When they score, jump up and chant, “Lesser of Two Evils! Lesser of Two Evils!”.
Or “Shower Shame! Shower Shame!”
“Uncle Jerry’s Happy Fun Time!”
“You won’t wear a shirt and you’ll cry!!”
“Block that kick!”
/old punchlike
If not a meteor, can we have a good old fashioned Old Testament smiting of these two squads and all their fans?
If there was a smiting god available, Mar-a-Lago would get the Gomorrah treatment first.
(note to self: craft a Salty Melania drink)
Isn’t that Sharky’s field?
Sure, Penn State had Sanduskey but Notre Dame is a Catholic institution, so I’m giving the edge to the Irish.
Tangibles section
What they give up in intense media scrutiny they more than make up for in sheer volume.
Girl singing the national anthem is a cute kid with braces?
Christ, I hope Matt Gaetz isn’t attending this game.
“Wait, cute kid? Oh, never mind.”
Christ is the last person that can help her now.
All the young boys in a 100 mile radius have been evacuated by the state prior to this game.
WE ARE (not gonna talk about that thing that happened with that guy a few years back, you know the one, it should have gotten us the death penalty, both metaphorically and, in some cases, literally) PENN STATE!!!
https://www.cnn.com/2025/01/09/politics/jd-vance-ohio-senate-seat-resign-vice-president/index.html
This wasn’t what I meant when I said “I wish this asshole wasn’t my Senator” Monkey’s Paw, and you know it!
What hellspawn is going to be appointed to replace him?
Uncertain. DeWine is governor and he’s old school. However, there will be a special election in two years to finish the term and then another one two years later for the full term and then another one two years later for the other seat.
I have three straight election cycles worth of senator elections campaign commercials to look forward to.
Have you considered starting a hard liquor drinking habit?
Not positive but I’m pretty sure Hawaii doesn’t have that problem.
I just think of Larry Elison as the default ruler around there.
We just now received an emergency alert that a mandatory evacuation order has been “issued for your area.”
Turns out it’s for Woodland Hills which is like 30 miles away.
Don’t do that shit to us now you fuckers!
We’re already fully on edge.
Yeah, I just got it too.
SO MANY lessons to learn from this. So many fuckups…
It reminds me of when they did weather warnings for the whole county instead of just the small area. You’d hear the sirens, take cover, start getting right with the Lord since you may be meeting him son…only to find the tornado is 30 miles away and heading away from you.
I believe there’s now a nice firebreak between Woodland Hills and San Pedro.
Yeah but I’m still at work in El Segundo.
Why’d you go back for your wallet?
Is making a “Catholics v. Pedophiles” for this game offensive or redundant?
Catholic pedophiles vs Pennsylvania Dutch pedophiles?