Round Two: Steelers/Ravens (Voodoo Edition)

Wasn’t that last tilt a keeper? (writing this at noon EST) They don’t get much better than that! And the ending-I did not see that coming. Onward.

To The Game!

Steelers/Ravens:

Flowers For None: Zay has been ruled out of the game. Ordinarily I’d think that a receiving corps whose best wr is Rashod Bateman would be very suspect but this is one of the very rare scenarios whereby the sum total of the players (and system they use) is much better than the individual parts.

-Streaks: Bally cruised into the postseason on a five game W tear. Oh boy. Pitt’s woes were very well-documented-they’re pretty much the Blues Brothers car that imploded at the end of the chase scene the moment they exit it. Anyway, they limped, waddled, doddered, staggered, and stumbled to the finish line with four losses in a row.

-Can those Steelers get to the 24 point mark because I can see the Ravens easily reaching that figure.

-In this rivalry the home team has won seven straight tilts.

-One fella that did some damage last time round, (162 yards rushing) King Henry, set a record this year! Hold on, it’s for most yards gained without winning the rushing title.

-Pitt needs to turn the ball over and Lamar has been able to be stripped in the past. Watt will most likely be obliging on that front.

-It feels as though these guys play each other every other year in the playoffs but they’re meeting for the first time in a decade.

-Which Pickens?: The mercurial George had 1 catch for 0 yards last week vs the Cards but had a personal high of 8 grabs for 89 the last he played the Ravens. It’s anyone’s guess.

Be you in the comments.

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Brick Meathook

This is Fresh Guacamole (2013), which at one minute forty seconds (1:40) is the shortest film ever nominated for an Oscar:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U6wgQWkURdw

Unsurprised

GREAT FUCKING KOMMENT HUSTLE OUT THERE TODAY!

TOMORROW, WE WATCH LITTLE BO NIX, THE FUCKEAGLES, AND MRSA MEN! WE WANT TO FEEL THIS WAY TOMORROW – ESPECIALLY THAT PURPLE BASTARD OVER THERE IN THE HARBOR.

NOW LET’S GET A GODDAMN SNACK!

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jjfozz

If I am that Purple Bastard, I accept that mantle on bended knee, giving all glory to the Kommentariat

yeah right

I thought I was the purple bastard on the harbor.

Can we get a ruling?

Doktor Zymm

I think this is a Why Not Both? Situation

yeah right

I had the most incredible Thai food today.

Which got me wondering.

I really want to order Thai hot for my food order but apart from Senor who has the intestinal fortitude to try it with me?

Anyone?

I’m looking for fire eaters here.

This comment was made on my toilet.

ballsofsteelandfury

Not me

yeah right

That’s a given.

Mr. Ayo

Absolutely not.

2Pack

Passo

Doktor Zymm

I’ll try it, although don’t think there are many places that actually do that, and none of the thai food I had in Thailand was that spicy

Horatio Cornblower

Go away.

Gatoraids

think Lamar joined you before the game tonight

WCS

Much like the Stillers offense, it seems our computer network is on the verge of collapse.
Saturday night, Stillers loss, and now this.
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2Pack

What’s your backup?

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WCS

Carrier pigeon

jjfozz

Interior Fozz: “Okay, that’s enough bourbon. You’re slugging it down like milk. Tomorrow is gonna suck.”

Exterior Fozz: ” WELL FUCK YOU I LOVE PAIN AND FUCK AND I DON’T KNOW FUCK THE STEELERS? I’M HAPPY! LET ME BE HAPPY! WHERE THAT’S BOURBLE?”

jjfozz

Post game show highlighted a Ravens fan who gets a tattoo after every Ravens win. His wife does the tattooing. This entire city is populated by lunatics. I’m glad that I can say my DNA relfects this.

jjfozz

After his interview Lamar ran over, signed the dude’s jersey, gave him a hug. It’s amazing that a guy can embrace the goddamn lunatics who root for him.

Unsurprised

That’s how Lamar was able to slap the subdermal tracker onto him

Doktor Zymm

Gotta be easier ways to find scary bars in Baltimore

jjfozz

every bar in Baltimore is scary, because it’s Baltimore

Doktor Zymm

My favorite spot in Baltimore closed, apparently it was a pit of possible fraud and financial mismanagement even before covid

Unsurprised

You can’t get hung over if you don’t stop drinking.

jjfozz

Post game crowd chanting “Fuck the Steelers”. I hate Baltimore, I love Baltimore.

yeah right

Forget it man.

He’s on a roll.

jjfozz

Our city is a goddamn disaster, the only reason we are still here is because we are like roaches. Kill us, but we will not die. Well, we die hard. and then come back. and eat the rats.

Beerguyrob

Found a picture of RFK Jr. driving.

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Brick Meathook
2Pack

Still… The voodoo evades him in the post season.

ballsofsteelandfury

You’d have to kill more chickens than exist on the Island of Hispaniola to overcome the shortcomings of this team.

Gatoraids

can’t carry it to term, Lord know I’m a Voodoo Abortion

Beerguyrob

Stop it, or you’ll make don_t start drooling thinking about arroz con pollo.

Brick Meathook
Gatoraids

Saffron rice is your friend

Doktor Zymm

Might be another bird flu issue

BeefReeferLives

Mike T. ran out of chicken blood..

Unsurprised

Bills
Eagles
Commanders
Vikings

It’s a lazy set of predictions, but so am I.

jjfozz

Beers drank: easily 10
Ciders drank: one
Number of times my wife corrected me for shouting FUCK: 5
Drunk facetime calls from my little sister: 1

Just poured a big sweaty glass of bourbon.

ballsofsteelandfury

You guys better win the whole thing.

Redshirt

…or at least knock off the Chiefs.

jjfozz

If only . . .I like our chances but fandom is a harsh mistress

jjfozz

I can only hope I made a pledge last year after the AFC loss, that I would not buy into any hype, would not let my heart get broken. yeah, bullshit.

Doktor Zymm

Congrats!

Beerguyrob

Was she correcting your use of the word fuck or then context in which it was used?

jjfozz

Both. “You are a child.”
Yup, I am.

Unsurprised

Then she’s a pedo

ballsofsteelandfury

Prediction:

Tomlin will keep his job but there will be wholesale changes in the coaching staff. Also, Harris is gone. Hopefully, Wilson is gone. They will draft a QB.

ballsofsteelandfury

Looking at the free agent list, I think a LOT of Steelers have played their last game in Pittsburgh…

WCS

I dunno about the QB; there’s nothing really available. Receivers, please and thank you.

ballsofsteelandfury

They should retain Fields and have him start next year until they find a QB in the draft.

Next year’s QB draftee would be Fields’ backup.

WCS

Sign me up. 730000000%

Doktor Zymm

Najee did a fine job this season, he should end up with a decent contract somewhere

Redshirt

How does Russell Wilson keep getting chances in the NFL?

Unsurprised

Going to a Super Bowl accounts for a lot.

ballsofsteelandfury

Here’s hoping this was his last one in Pittsburgh

Beerguyrob

He only cost the Steelers the veteran’s minimum because of how much the Broncos owed him. They got their $960,000 out of him.

Doktor Zymm

He’s won more playoff games than Kirk Cousins at least?

Brick Meathook

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Gatoraids

LET LAMAR POOP

Doktor Zymm

He’s the hero the US fiber industry needs!

Gatoraids

cuz it would taste better than that Russ is Cooking

LemonJello

Steelers Country: Let’s Cry (up in this bitch)!

fleshwound_NPG

throwing into triple coverage to a dude who is 5′ 9″

it will be even better in a giants or jets uniform

Doktor Zymm

Might actually work on the Giants

LemonJello

Sir, the Browns are upset at being omitted from this list.

JustStopDude

We are going all in on Wentz.

ThePirateSloth

Oh we are fucking familiar with that moonball, thanks.

Doktor Zymm

LET RUSS BOOK
a flight home and put Fields in!

BugEyedBoo

A tad bit late now.

Doktor Zymm

If only Tomlin read these comments, smh

Mr. Ayo

Going for it on 4th and 15 after passing up 4th and inches earlier is a classical case of game mismanagement up in this bitch!

Unsurprised

Carrollesque management

Doktor Zymm

Ricard is the Ravens fullback? Tasty!
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Unsurprised

Fancy

blaxabbath

The surviving LA mall can use this ad.

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Unsurprised

I’m curious as to what Fozz is up to

Brick Meathook

He’s getting stoned out in the shed.

Unsurprised

There wasn’t any weed in there before …

LemonJello

Adjusting his erection in purple camo zubaz?

fleshwound_NPG

oh great, more drone discourse

Beerguyrob

At least this one didn’t take out a water bomber.

Gatoraids

BUILD THE CEILING

Unsurprised

They don’t have birding teams to keep the stadiums drone-free?

Doktor Zymm

Sounds like a job for JEWISH SPACE LASERS!!!

Jimbo

Don’t summon her

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WCS

boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

fleshwound_NPG

AND MAKE GOD PAY FOR IT!

Jimbo

Which one Zeus, Allah, Poseidon, Xenu?

LemonJello

Yes.

Unsurprised

Let the drones pay the drone tax! I pay the Homer tax!

WCS

Yes, now’s the time to get into the shootout! Down 14!

fleshwound_NPG

baltimore reminding everyone that they love to fuck it up in the 2nd half of games

and giving you a taste of whats to come when they play kc again

Beerguyrob

The most amazing part of that catch was that they aren’t picking pieces of Pickens’ spine out of the front row.

fleshwound_NPG

little ass receiver was wanting to fight a defensive lineman?

what is it with you and dumbass receivers, stillers

WCS

Kind of our thing.

fleshwound_NPG

bears will offer a 2nd for him

(they still have an extra 2nd from the panthers!)

Unsurprised

Scrappiness because the original steel and coal workers were undernourished?

WCS

Sure, we’ll go with that.

BugEyedBoo

Steelers can’t stop the pass, but they make up for it by not being able to stop the run.

Doktor Zymm

Coaching trees can kiss my shiny metal ass

WCS

 shiny metal ass

The perks of being a Doktorb!

Beerguyrob

Got you covered – It’s one of the Hate Week topics!

Doktor Zymm

Woohoo!

Beerguyrob

Pick your most hated & I’ll include it for you.

Doktor Zymm

I think I have to go Shanny, partially because of destroying RG3, partially because of the added spice of nepotism, and partially because people won’t shut up about it

Beerguyrob

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Gumbygirl

This isn’t Hate Week? Fuck, I am peaking too soon!

Mr. Ayo

Will they be rated on a scale of Shanahan to Belichick?

Beerguyrob

Walsh to McVay.

Doktor Zymm

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Unsurprised

When Derrick Henry surveyed the breadth of his domain, he wept, for there were no more defenders to punch.

Beerguyrob

When we tired of the current one… BANNER!

Unsurprised

I got an assist from ThePirateSloth.

JustStopDude

I get trying to stop the run, but it’s King Henry. Putting 11 guys in the box just means he is going to score.

fleshwound_NPG

points!

fleshwound_NPG

nevermind

Doktor Zymm

No Steelers safety? Someone call OSHA!

Jimbo

Quick, since OSHA is on the DOGE chopping block.

Gatoraids

oop didnt see, Was reading a article this week about Boring company and vegas and how they agreed to just fine them instead or reviews. And of course any fine for 1500 for dumping shit in drains or blocking high ways for hours gets overturned for being too onerous on their business.

Gatoraids

have one week left to call OSHA

fleshwound_NPG

oh fuck you, hyundai

Jimbo

-Rodney King 1991

Beerguyrob

Reading Bill Parcells’ dream journal again?

JustStopDude

I think the guy doing the Patrick voices had money on the game. His one liners get dark and vicious towards the end.

https://youtu.be/TcHIfPERX0s?si=TTYUynE6Z2S4KgDp

JustStopDude

The at least managed to get a decent pic of Jim Harbaugh.

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WCS

Dauber!

WCS

M-O-O-N spells “Patrick!”

Brick Meathook

That’s a deep cut!

LemonJello

THIS RAVENS O-LINE, I CALL THESE GUYS SUMMERS EVE BECAUSE THEY’VE KEPT T.WATT NEUTRALIZED

WCS

Ew

LemonJello

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WCS

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Brick Meathook

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LemonJello

We know its you, Brick. No need for a mask.

Brick Meathook

This is me:

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LemonJello

More dashing than I had anticipated.

Mr. Ayo

Great eyes Brick!

JustStopDude

I think the Ravens Defense will have to do warmups again since they haven’t had to do hardly anything since kickoff.

Doktor Zymm

I didn’t realize the tariffs on steel had already kicked in

Senor Weaselo

Nippon Steel would never!

Gatoraids

Lamar at least leaving to locker room to take a shit, while the Steelers are just doing it on the field

LemonJello

Taking a page from the Bears playbook?

fleshwound_NPG

at least it got the bears a top 10 pick

which is impossible to get if tomlin is your coach

tomlin is the new age jeff fisher, but instead of 7-9 it is about 9-8 and one and done in january

ArmedandHammered

the Bears have a playbook? sure it is not just screenshots of plays from old Madden games?

JustStopDude

Ooof.

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Bogdanski

Lamar sneaking off to crap before the half? Game over

ballsofsteelandfury

And we’re done here.

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JustStopDude

Wait…are the Ravens allowed to that? It has to be a penalty to have a QB able to dance around like that.

LemonJello

Steelers are lost in the sauce up in this bitch.

LemonJello

And LAMAR! just snuck off to get a jumpstart on his halftime pooping.